Luna Versus Stairs

You know that dork named Luna who lives in the palace in Canterlot? Me neither. Because that dork lives in a flipping castle, nerd. Anyways, it turns out she’s kinda a huge doofus, but there’s a totally good reason for that. You see, she’s at least one thousand years old, but she’s got body for days! But this isn’t that kinda story. You see, she’s been adapting to our new world, because a lot happened since a thousand years. You should’ve seen her when she found out granola wasn’t banned anymore, she just started wigging out. Anyways, it seems that she still hasn’t gotten the hang of basic facets of Equestrian life.

Like take for example this one time that started like any other. It was your typical day, the sun was beaming through the window so Luna had to get up to draw the curtains. But then she noticed something out of place, something she never would have expected. There was a glass pane in her window for the first time since she could remember. Now, this normally wouldn’t be a problem for you or I, but the problem is that Luna is a princess and has wings so she doesn’t use her legs all that often and prefers to fly out the window whenever she needs to go to some other section of the castle. And so now she’s got two problems, technically three but that third one is best not mentioned when children are nearby. First is the window which impedes her favored method of getting around the castle and the second is who in the hay would dare to set up a window.

Anyways, feeling adventurous, she decided she may as well set out to investigate the culprit of this crime. Of course, this search may be short because her sister’s bedroom is just down the hall. And knowing Celestia, she was probably sleeping off last night’s gluttonous feast that went directly to her thighs. Her giant thighs. Luna didn’t even bother to knock on the door, I mean, what’s the worst that can happen? So when she burst in the room she found that her sister was sprawled out on the floor and not wearing any pants. I mean, it’s not like ponies normally wear pants, especially princesses because princesses have evolved beyond pants, but it’s still a pretty freaky deaky thing for a sister to see.

“Sister, wake up!” She ordered. Sure, she was about a foot shorter than Celestia who was probably the tallest pony around, but it was still pretty intimidating to be shouted at by the princess of the night. Celestia also knew that if she didn’t wake up then Luna, who has earned the moniker of Nightmare Moon, might make her dream of the peanut butter experiment.

Celestia’s eyes were open in a second when she realized the consequences of remembering the peanut butter experiment. “I am awake!” And she lifted her head up, meeting her sister at eye level. Luna was totally up in her face and they were practically Eskimo kissing. “Is there something wrong?”

“Yes there is! Did you put in a window?”

Celestia released a baited breath and stood up. “Of course. You’re much too old to be acting like a filly and flying around all the time. I suppose I should’ve told you sooner but I’m sure you would’ve objected, right?”

“Yeah, I would have! Thou hath best remove that window by tomorrow. Now how am I going to get to the royal dining room?”

Celestia chuckled at this. “Well you walk of course! It’s not that far after all.”

“Alright. But if anything happens to me, then I shall be rather cross with thou.”

“As I should expect. Have a good breakfast, sister.”

Luna, who was still brimming with righteous indignation, stamped right out of the room and down the hall. Even after a thousand years the castle’s design should not have changed too much, so the way should be pretty obvious. Down the hall, down the other hall, trip over the welcome mat leading into the bathroom, down another hall… Anyways she stopped when she came to some odd piece of architecture which connected the first floor to the second. It was as though it were a slope but with profusions placed lengthwise that were of a visibly perfect geometry.

Needless to say, Luna just went totally bonkers at the sight of this.