Luna Versus Stairs

Unlike on the moon, Luna now has soooo many friends! Excluding Skippy of course. Which means she no longer has to be the only one to try and handle this endeavor. So she sent out a messenger to contact all those who have helped her to become accepted as the princess of the night yet again in Equestria.

So after some time had passed, the elements of harmony were before the steps of the colossal staircase that prevented Luna’s descent. There was Twilight, Applejack, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, and Fluttershy. AKA, the nerd, the hick, the ‘princess,’ the jock, the basket case, and the loser. Alright, so Luna really needs to get better friends, but these ones will have to do for now.

“Princess Luna!” Said Twilight in concern. “You sent us a message that you were in peril, what’s the problem?”

Luna just pointed at the stairs and said nothing.

“It’s an invisible enemy?” Said Rainbow Dash, with a hint of joy in her voice. Before Luna could dispute this, Rainbow got ecstatic. “Great! I always wanted to try this move out!”

The rest of the elements of harmony and Luna protested this but Rainbow Dash was in too much of a hurry to vanquish this alleged invisible foe. She flew to the center of the stairs and began flying around in a circle as fast as she could manage. At first what happened was that some of the dirt started to kick up, nothing special, but then a tornado started to form and began to suck in everything in the room! All the ponies found themselves drawn against their will to the epicenter of this whirlwind, and so Twilight held onto one of the marble columns at the bottom of the stairs and the rest of the elements minus one Rainbow Dash then held onto her. Meanwhile Luna was dangling pathetically as she held on for dear life by hanging desperately onto one of the bannisters.

After a while Rainbow Dash finally span out of control and flattened herself right against a wall. The winds died down leaving anything that wasn’t nailed down aside from the ponies in the room in complete disarray.

Luna got back to her hooves and went to the edge of the top of the stairs. She took one look down, saw that they were still totally intact, and just turned red.

“Did I get him?” Said Dash, who was lingering between conscious and passed the hay out.

“No! You destroyed everything but what I called you all here for!”

The ponies picked themselves up and gathered at the foot of the stairs yet again.

“Princess, what did you call us here for anyways?” Asked Twilight.

“I called upon thou to obliterate this enemy from the face of Equestria!”

The ponies looked at one another in confusion. “So who is this big bad guy? I mean, I’m pretty sure I would’ve nailed him with the Rainbow Whirl.” Inquired Rainbow Dash.

“These! I wanted you all to destroy these!” Luna pointed a hoof at the stairs.

Pinkie Pie giggled at the thought of this. “Oh come on princess, we’re the elements of harmony, not carpenters!” This comment was more true than any of the other elements thought.

“What in the world does carpentry have to do with any of this? I want you to murder this foe!”

“Murder,” began Twilight, completely baffled at this concept. “Stairs?”

“Yes! A thousand times yes! I want you to completely and totally kill this strange thing! I can’t get to the first floor otherwise!”

“Why don’t you just slide down?” Said Pinkie, who had just materialized into existence right next to Luna. Pinkie climbed up on one of the handrails to the stairs and slid down. “Wheeee!” But then she slid off at the end and fell flat on her back.

“I shall take your suggestion into consideration, but we cannot bear to avoid this threat any longer. We must destroy it before it destroys us all!”

Twilight looked at the princess with one raised eyebrow in both disbelief and concern. “Princess, it’s not like the stairs are a duck. You can just walk over them, literally.”

“I tried it. I didn’t like it. Now let’s hurry and execute these stairs, I’m very much late for breakfast.”

The elements of harmony all shook their heads and got out of the room. Nothing good can come from this, and they’d best leave Princess Luna’s scorn for stairs to professionals who deal with mental instability.

“Fine, leave! I’ll just get a whole new set of Elements of Harmony and they’re going to be twice as good as you!” Luna’s voice was trembling with fury as defeat washed over her. “All I have to do is get my tools from the closet!” She paused for a moment, just remembering one flaw in her plan. “Downstairs.”

Needless to say, Luna was not going to be building a new set of the elements of harmony.