Alright, if trying to tackle this serious problems with serious solutions ends up getting her seriously hurt, then what other recourse is left to the moon princess? So after a time that probably measured to her years spent on the moon, she just threw up her hooves and said.

“That’s it, I’m done. I quit.” And she went back to her room.

So while in her room she just flopped down on her royal mattress and ruffled all of the sheets, just to know she was in control of something. She was immediately bound and totally wrapped by the sheets and left helpless on the floor, trying desperately to escape her prison. She was doomed.

A guard who normally attended to her royal highness intruded upon hearing of Luna’s distress. “Princess Luna, are you okay?” And then he looked at a bundle of sheets that Luna was struggling with, only managing to keep her head poking out just barely so that her big blue eyes grew as she looked at the guard and was immediately embarrassed.

The guard fell over and was unconscious in moments. Luna slipped out of the quilted burrito that bound her and went over to the guard to feel his pulse. She was not medically qualified to do this so what happened was she kicked him right in the face, leaving him twice as knocked out as before. She had seen this ailment before and thus knew it well, it had affected many since her arrival back in Equestria and after her transformation. This guard had succumbed to the vile disease of terminal diabetus.

For some reason whenever she was rolling around, or skipping daintily, or all curled up with a moon pie, or cuddling with kittens, ponies around her always fell flat from the diabetus. And now, from her frustration induced actions, she may have realized the cause. Diabetus is caused by her intense enjoyment and frollicking! And who’s to say diabetus only affects ponies?

She knew now what she must do.

Several minutes later Luna was at the top of the stairs. She leaned a mattress over the edge and clambered onto it. Once she shifted her weight she would slide downwards on this bumpy slope and have one of the best sled rides since she was a filly. This would be the most fun thing she ever had that the stairs would never be able to stop her, it would be neutralized from diabetus. And with her foolproof plan in action laid out, she pushed onwards.

She sped down the stairs with astounding momentum, zipping along on the surprisingly stable surface. She pulled up at the forward edge of the mattress so that it wouldn’t get caught on any of the steps and she flapped her wings to give her even more thrust. The faster she got down the stairs the better. The her hair flew back and her lips flapped helplessly as the wind blew back at her, but this resistance did almost nothing to quell the speeding Luna. She felt as though she was breaking the bonds of gravity from the unusual lightness of her form and she whinnied with glee like a filly.

Of course though, the stairs led to the same wall that pink pony slammed into a while back when she rode along the handrail, and Luna did not want to experience the sensation of being flattened so with great timing she turned the mattress to the side and continued to side sideways. She began beating her wings as hard as she could, which pushed her along to the side of the stairway so that by the time she had finally reached the bottom she already began speeding into a new direction: Towards the kitchen.

Meanwhile, Celestia was sitting at the kitchen table waiting for her sister. Sure, she played a few tricks a while ago, but Celestia being the royal princess she was she would never be so uncouth as to eat without her sister present. And such a pain it was to wait, as she could only stare at the gorgeous bounty prepared before her for the morning meal. And just laying in wait was a couple of bananas practically with her name written on them. Luckily she could hear the vague sounds of some high pitched noise approaching and knew that she probably wouldn’t have to wait any longer.

Celestia never expected to see Luna sliding along the floor on her bed. She also never expected to see that Luna levitated the bananas off of the table and brought them along with her as she sped out of one door to the dining room and out another. Celestia stared at the plate that had her specially made fruit for a moment and then leapt up and started running after her sister and her bananas.

It was no use, Luna was just too fast. The smooth floors also appeared to be freshly waxed so running was double useless, and without a proper running start she couldn’t even fly right. Then again, today has just been one big mess and Luna appeared to be having fun sliding around so Celestia just gave up and fell flat on her belly and started sliding after the moon princess.

Guards, servants, maids, and butlers all fell flat from diabetus as they saw these two sliding around. It was just too adorable. And so that was the start of the great diabetus plague of ‘98. It didn’t happen in the year of ‘98, but we had to call it that because the kaiser. The point is, Luna finally beat the stairs.

The end.

Author's Note

Remember kids, you can beat anything as long as you're cute enough.