DEATH

   I look around. It looks like I'm in America, but I can't be sure. Maybe those guys were just Neo-Nazis or something. But now I need bigger guns, and better clothes. I looked at the police station for wanted baddies. I was now a certified vigilante. So now I was going after Jack "Bruno" Mars. 5' 6", leather jacket, steel toe boots, jeans, white shirt. Sounds like clothes I'd like to wear. It's gross, but it's either that or Nazi attire.

   So I walk around for a couple of hours, and sure enough, there he was. "Hey, buddy," I said. He flipped out.

   "Oh shit!" he yelled.

   I shot him in the head, made sure not to get blood on the clothes. I took him in a dark alley and got his clothes. They fit like a charm. The jacket was a bit big, but I'll grow into it. I remember the files I had read earlier. I had read earlier. I read them again. Apparently he has a time machine. That gave me an idea. If I'm able to go back to where he tortured me, I'll get to kill his sorry ass.

   Sounded like a plan.

   I hurried back to the building I was previously in. I had to find the directory to try and find the device. But then I remembered I was in an abandoned building, so there was no directory to  be found. So I then went on an Easter egg hunt. I found a room that said "alternativen Universum reisen Maschine". I'd assume that meant "time traveling machine", but I wouldn't know. I went in and saw the contraption.

   It was tubular, and had multiple TV screens inside it. It was also a bit rusted. Looked safe enough to me.

   I went it and saw a screen that said "Reiseziel: Pferd Hahn Britannien". I then threw up my hands and said "Fuck it!" and started pulling leavers. All it did was make farting buzzing noises. Then I saw one big red button. I decided to press it out of curiosity.

   The lights started to flicker, the room was trembling, it felt like the whole fucking room was going to blow up. Wonder how awesome it would look on camera. But then red, transparent, typewriter-style numbers started floating around. Then a sudden flash came. My life was flashing before my very eyes, color was being lost, everything looked like a pencil sketch. Then, all of a sudden, there was nothing. I was fast asleep. Knocked out. I was then woken up by a soft voice

   "Oh my...are...you okay?"