DEATH

   I can't believe what I see. I'm staring right into the face of a talking horse. I sit up. No stabbing feeling this time. "So..." I said, "where am I?"

   "Oh, you're in ponyville!” the yellow horse replies. I notice that she also has wings, pink air, and very light blue eyes. I also noticed she had a quiet voice. Very passive, too.

   I look around. Everything looks so…”girly”. I mean...REALLY girly. Like Tinker Belle having a tea Party with the Care Bears girly. I then remembered the pain in my leg. “AAGH!” I screamed, “You got a doctor in this world?”

   “Oh, of course” the pony replies, “why do you need one?” i then show her my leg. She faints. Fuck.

   “Hey, you!” I hear a scratchy voice shout. I turn around and see a blue Pegasus with rainbow mane in front of me.

   “This day can not get any weirder,” I exclaim. I then see her pet turtle. “Scratch that,” I exclaim.

   “What are you?” she asks.

   “A human," I reply, “and a very confused one at that.” She looks surprised.

   “A human?” she repeats, “I’ve heard those in fairy tales.”

   “Yeah, yeah, yeah, fairy tales, whatever, just get me to a doctor before my wound gets infected,” I command. She looks at my wound with a disgusted look.

   “Yeah, you might want that checked out,” she says, “Hop on.” She turns her ass towards me.

   “Well, I’ve seen enough hentai to know where this is going,” I joke. The pony doesn’t find it all that funny. I stare awkwardly. “Yeah, sorry,” I apologize.

   We then rode majestically to the hospital. Or, at least, I though we were. "We're going to somepony I know," said the pony.

   "He better be a fuckin' doctor," I reply.

   "She is...kinda", she stammers.

   Oh, it's a she.

   "What's your name, anyway?" I ask.

   "Rainbow Dash," she said, "But you can call me Dash if you want."

   "Fine by me," I reply.

   Dash stopped in the middle of a forest. A fucking forest. "IS this guy a witch doctor or something?" I cockily ask.

    "Well..." Dash answers, "...yeah." Awkward. I then notice a big ass tree with a wooden door on it. The door creaks open very fast. A zebra with jewelery pops out. I'm not even going to fucking ask.

   "So, this is my friend, Zecora," Dash says.

   "Nice to meet you," I say, "now fix my leg so I can get back to my mission." Zecora and Dash look at me with a queer look.

   "What is this mission you speak of, young one?" Zecora asks, "Does it involve vengeance, a badge, and a gun?"

   I reply with a firm "That is none of your business, and it's my fault for blurting that out."

   "Can you at least tell us your name?" Dash asked.

   "Markham," I said, "Markham Keen".

   "So Markham Keen is what you go by," Zecora said,  "Tell me how you got here, when, and why." While she was operating on my leg, I told her everything.  The machine, the leg (of course), and me shooting Nazis. I don't think it was the dumbest thing to say considering that I was shooting...well, Nazis. But I don't think they have Nazis here, so me saying that was probably like saying "I killed a fuck ton of people." Or ponies. Whatever.

   Everything stopped except for a quiet gust of air. "So..." Dash said, "...are you evil?" I stopped to think for a moment.

   "I don't know," I replied, "Then again, some questions are better left unanswered."