Deus Ex: Cosplay Revolution

Was a dark night in Canterlot.

Streets were near empty, considering I was in Downtown. About one or two people walked, most of their eyes landing on me; messy me, in a white long-sleeve shirt, black cargo pants, and a hoodie with the hood up. Looked completely out of place, but it'd be easy enough to shed the disguise if anyone saw me.

The mark? Someone I'd watched and stalked the entire day; an otherwise completely normal stallion except for one fact.

Shade had informed me that a guard's armor was enchanted to make the guard look exactly identical to his peers. Some illusiony stuff or what not, but I got the gist of it; put the armor on, you become the same as Number Eighty-Three or whoever. Simple stuff, seeing identical guards going into the barracks and most-definitely non-identical ponies coming out, save for one.

This guy? I stood a head taller than him, but I was under no illusion that he would whoop my ass given the chance. Those guards I knocked around were rookies. This guy? He was probably a sergeant, going by the armor, and he was definitely aware of my presence.

Didn't help I looked like a street thug. But soon as he turned into an alley, I saw a chance.

Chloroform, contrary to popular belief, wasn't an instantaneous knockout drug. Took about five minutes of constant application to get a person to fall asleep, and after that you had to make sure the airways were unobstructed. Plus, I doubted I even could acquire chloroform here, especially on such short notice.

The solution? Plan A was knocking him over the back of the head. Plan B was knocking his head into the side of the wall. Plan C? Plan C was putting a gag over his mouth, putting him in a sleeper hold, and then hoping to god no one noticed in the intervening time.

A quick glance. He was in the middle, still walking. The alley was long enough and dark enough that no one would notice if someone was collapsed in it.

I took a deep breath, put on a mask, and thought the mnemonic for Run Silent.

In one hand, I had a baton Shade let me borrow. In the other was a burlap sack just big enough to fit over the unicorn/changeling head of the mark.

Three.

The mark took another step.

Two.

I steeled myself.

One.

He tensed.

Go.

And I ran.

"Is this the guy?"

"Might sound racist but soon as I knocked him over the head he was black."

"How is that racist?"

"Nevermind it, do you have the restraints?"

"No, seriously, how could it be racist if someone is black? That'd be like discrimination because of the color of your coat."

"This is a can of worms I don't want to open, and where the fuck are the restraints!"

"Right here, but I do kinda wanna talk about that 'racism' of yours."

"LEAVE THE FUCKING TOPIC ALONE AND HELP ME! Took me long enough to drag this guy here and do you know how many excuses I had to make?"

"Okay, I get you. Lemme help you tie him up."

"Now that sounded creepy."

"What? Why'd it sound creepy?"

"...Nothing. Just tie him to the chair. Do you have some cigarettes?"

"No. And why do you need cigarettes? They're bad for your health."

"I know that! But am I more intimidating with a cigarette or without one?"

"More, with one, but I can't see it making you more intimidating because you're already bigger than near every stallion I know. Uglier, too."

"Whatever! The point still stands, tie this guy up nonsexually and please get me some cigarettes. And don't think I'll let you get off with that ugly comment, too."

"Fine. Which brand do you want?"

"The one you saw me smoking this morning."

"Which one was that?"

"BIG TOP! Those! Just get me a pack and make it quick. And if you come back and hear me growling, please make the entrance dramatic."

"That seems counterproductive."

"How is it counterproductive?"

"You're acting like an action movie hero. Nopony takes an action movie hero seriously."

"Can you please just get me some cigarettes?"

"Only because you said please."

Shade left the room. The bug thing sitting in front of me stirred to life. In seconds, he'd started to struggle against the binds, but stopped as soon as he saw me. The amber eyes on his ugly face spread wide as dinner plates.

I'd barely had time to change. I kept the black cargo pants but took off the tank top and put on a cheap pair of aviators. A bit of body paint and I looked like some kind of exotic thug, the nicked-and-beat baton in one hand and a dozen feet of rope in the other. Held a half-burnt cigarette in my mouth, the smoke lingering around my head.

"Wh-Who the fuck are you!"

I dropped the rope and took the cigarette out of my mouth. "No one, really, but if you need a name, I'm partial to Page." I growled. "I have a nicotine addiction, a couple just-healed ribs, a nasty cut on my arm, and an interest in Changelings."

He stopped struggling when I lifted the baton and made the motions of smacking his knees.

"Not an interest in you specifically. Rather, an interest in a group of Changelings that I believe are planning a conspiracy against the crown."

"I have no idea what you're talking about! Let me go!"

I cock an eyebrow, pushing the cold metal into the joint. "Really? What do you know about Petina?"

"What?"

"Petina. The changeling mare who broke into my friend's home, while I was there, and attempted to kidnap and replace me. Before that, another mare, disguised as a particularly-attractive earth pony, attempted to rape and assault a servant in the castle who knew of her."

He sputtered. "What? No! I don't know anyone like that!"

Another drag on the cigarette. "Am I to presume you are lying to me?"

The guy shook his head.

"Really? Because Petina, the changeling I captured, informed me of a wide, wide variety of guards, nobles, and servants in the castle who were actually changelings. Including you."

A look of comprehension dawned on him. "Oh. Oh no."

"Oh no what?"

"Shit, shit you got it wrong. You got it wrong."

I raised the baton. He shrunk back. "HOW did I get it wrong?"

"There are... there are a couple different hives in Canterlot. Couple different hives around Equestria. You must've gotten one from the Badlands Hive."

The news hit me like a train. I leaned back in my seat, tossing the cigarette under my boot and snuffing it out. "And lemme guess, you're from the Mountain Hive or whatever?"

"No. Indie."

"No allegiance to a hive?"

"Nope, none. I guess you made a mistake, in that regard."

I sighed, picking up the rope and coiling it. I change the topic. "That doesn't matter. I work for a covert operations group, one dedicated to keeping Equestria safe. The conspiracy that Petina and the servant told me of, it threatens the safety of Equestria. In what way, I don't know. What I do know is that it won't be good. Do you have any loved ones, close friends, workplace acquaintances?"

The bug hesitates. "Yes... why are you asking?"

I slam my fist on the arm of the chair. "Because if this conniving bitch who thinks she's hot shit takes over Equestria, you're fucked, your friends are fucked, and everyone you love is fucked!"

He leans back. "I-what?"

"You heard me, friend. This conspiracy is widespread. Servants, nobles, guards, citizens- the only ones who get off scot free are the collaborators. And I have sources that tell me this conspiracy is going to act on the day of the wedding." I grabbed the rope. "Now, I might have made a mistake and targeted someone unrelated to the conspiracy, but you and the fuckers I'm hunting got a lot alike."

He gulped. I started tying a noose.

"Now, I'm going to phrase this in as succinct a way as possible: Tell me everything. About Changeling biology, sociology, and their calling cards. I am not here to hurt you, only to keep Equestria and its citizens safe. However-" I raised the finished noose, tossing it around his neck like a thick rope necklace. "-it might get messy if you don't tell me the complete, total, and honest truth."