ThunderQuill: Alright, keep calm. Quickly, asscertain how big the fire is and where its comming from. Once that is done, save as much of your case files as you Can. You need to make sure that The RIGHT things are burning. It would be wonderful if a Few "compromising" documents were to perish in the fire, wouldnt you agree?
Once that is done (Make sure to get out alive, For Celestia´s sake), Call the fire department. Hopefully they will be able to save your office. If not you´ll need a new place to say.
Did you say you had Friends? How about Crashing at their places?

Right, right.

You need to calm down. Reach deep below the panicking squishy bug center under your impeccable disguise to that inner well of courage you must have! ...It’s there, right? Right…? RIGHT?!

Oh no! You don’t have a secret well of buggy courage! ...Actually, now that you think about it, you probably exhausted that when you deserted the buggy legions. Unfortunately for those case files, you decided that the smell of smoke may mean you’re gonna get a bit more hard boiled then you expected, in ways you’re not exactly fond of. But hey, maybe Gilda’ll like you more if you end up as lunch…

Enough of those thoughts. What can you do to stop the fire? Um… WATER COOLER!

You pick up your water cooler and hurl it at the wall! It… doesn’t even burst. Curses! You knew that buying the deluxe water cooler model would bite you one day!

Okay. Better question. Where is the fire? You seriously wonder why you started trying to put it out before you found it. Regardless, you prepare yourself for some vigorous sleuthing. Hm… smoke filling the air… That is indeed a sign of fire. If only you could narrow it down further… Use all of your skills!

SUPER SLEUTH ACTIVATE!

You concentrate as hard as you can! Your gaze sweeps the interior of your office, your keen compound eyes missing nothing. Nothing… Nothing…

Wait, is something burning?

You look up. Your hat is on fire.

Your hat. Is on. Fire.

YOUR HAT IS ON FIRE!

You run around in tight little circles flailing about. THE CEILING IS ON FIRE. EVERYTHING IS ON FIRE. YOU ARE ON FIRE. YOU ARE FIRE. YOU ARE FIRE.

Fordregha: Fire? Quick! Smother it with your changeling goo!....You know...the kind they make those weird pods out of...not any other kind.

YOU DON’T HAVE ANY GOO. WHAT DO YOU LOOK LIKE, SOMEONE WHO ISN’T ON FIRE?! Besides. Changeling goo is highly flammable and a part of a balanced breakfast.

Chewed Pencil: Do a jig out the building because reasons. Whoever burned the building wouldn't expect a dancing changeling. The sheer confusion would allow for a clean getaway!

You do your best OH MY CELESTIA I AM ON FIRE dance out of the building. It consists mostly of flailing and screaming. The building collapses behind you, scattering dust and general burning ness everywhere. You certainly are happy you’re not in it, but you’ve lost your carpet, desk, hat, jacket and most of your dignity.

Speaking of dignity, you roll about in the streets like a common mule to get the rest of the flames out on you. At least you remembered to do that. Ewwww. You're covered in alley goop!

But seriously OH MY GOD YOU’RE ON FIRE.

How about that awkward Author from your "College Years"?

WHAT COLLEGE YEARS?! YOU’RE A CHANGELING FOR ALL THE LOVE IN THE WORLD. Of course you made all that stuff up! You suddenly realize that maybe thinking in all caps isn’t going to help you figure things out.

soraxroxas123: RUN FOR IT!!!

You get about ten steps into the alleyway before something reaches out and grabs you roughly by the horn! That only smarts a little!

Now, what the heck grabbed you and what does it want?

Author's Note

Better comments please.
Sorry for taking so long. Computer failure.