Earwig; Ace Detective.

Right. So you're walking. Walking is in fact one of those things you can easily do without messing up, which is great, because you're panicking. You're not quite as panicked as you were when you went AWOL back during the marriage that was never meant to be, but to be honest, you weren't expecting that to go well in the first place. It's an old changeling saying, after all: Bugs should not infiltrate the exterminator's house.

But seriously, what are you supposed to do here? You're totally stranded! I mean, you could probably go after that catbir-

said catbird bursts out of the ashes of the building and snarls at a curious pony looking at the burning building, sending said mare flying backward. The gryphon snarls again, snuffing fires on her body, before taking to the skies.

Well, that's out of the question.

Move away from where you currently are. Lose all pursuit and or witnesses, and then change into something less conspicuous. Equip fedora after changing. -Keairan

Saaay. That's a nice idea, yeah! Find somewhere to hide, become a pony, and then your trusty fedora will raise your general hardboiledness to the point that you can remain calm in the face of this rather obvious murder attempt! That's a great idea! But...

You look around, seeing ponies staring at you awkwardly. You look back at the burning building. Oh. Well, you should probably at least act like a royal guard. "Nothing to see here, gentleponies. Just Princess Twilight ascending again."

The crowd disperses rather rapidly, with only just a few mutters of "That's the third time this week."

You begin to suspect that blaming everything that goes wrong in your life on princess Twilight ascending is not a long term sustainable plan.

After a few moments of bare streets, you walk into an alleyway that is not filled with an unconscious guard's pony, and with a flash of green light, you transform into one of your alter egos!

...which is what, exactly?