I don't remember my childhood.

Sure, I got all these baby pictures of me in hospitals, on a beach, in my aunt's house laughing it up with my happy family.

Smiling the smiles that people are conditioned to want others to have when asked to smile for a camera.

I used to be happy. Where did it go? Where did everything go?

I know where it went.

My earliest memories are not memories though- they are pictures and you can always lie about pictures. I have things from my earliest pronounce any word with a 'th' sound without sounding like a hard F. Thine fine will be done theses feces damn.classes in therapy about my issues with magic and how they thought I couldn't talk because of developmental issues.

Real fucking mess there.

Is it fun to think that your perfect birth caused your family to splinter.

Hey mom, can I play with Dinky when she's out of the hospital?

Hey mom why does she have to wear a cast on her horn?

I got basic flashes of memory though- like a camera going off so fast that you have a home movie in your head but disjointed and uncanny enough to scare you that you have no real memory of these events. Just ponies telling you that you did things and they were important because you did shit. Do memories exist because you remember them or do they exist because you were told stores about your exploits and you internalize the falsehoods?

Now my family lives on perfection. Or I could say that we try to hide the fact that we seem to hate each other. I thought my childhood memories that I could remember were perfect- though I only remember the ones that happened after we moved from Dusky Shades to Ponyville. My sisters- Cloudkicker and Sparkler remember the old house better than I since I was six when we moved to the Ponyville school district.

Lets just say that we moved because of the fact that my teacher couldn't handle being dumber than a five year old. IQ tests can do that when a 180 is a genius.

They gave up after I reached the eighth grade math levels.

Now I am terrible at math. Wonder what that says about my capabilities now or maybe I peaked when I was five.

Does this influence the rest of the tale about how my family hates each other? Not really- just wanted to put in some context.

My family was fivefold. My parents- Derpy and Time Turner Hooves, my sisters Cloudkicker and Sparkler and then little old me.

Being the young one seems like the perfect one thing that ponies want. Ponies want to be appreciated. Being around a decade to a decade and a half younger than your siblings can mess you up though. Sure I was six when Sparkler entered the School for Gifted Unicorns- Cloudkicker was already out of college and planned on doing something with her degree in child care. Strange degree- but I guess the idea that every pegasus needed to be a perfect top tier athlete and get into the weather factory is just wrong headed.

Sparkler on the other hand went into my father's profession of magitech.

Really not much more to say on my family and their professions.

So now the real story of what I term my memories can actually start. Just remember one thing- maybe not all memories are truth. For even the best narrators can lie about what really went down.

Author's Note

I am in misery.