Madness Equestria

“Oh no, oh no what are we going to do?”

Twilight was still in the middle of calming down from all the excitement. Applejack and Fluttershy were lending a hoof in

comfort while Hank, Sanford, and Deimos planned their next move.

“Maybe we should go back to the library,” Spike suggested and pointed a claw at the dead MAG agent, “you know, get away from that thing.”

“Ah have to agree with Spike,” Applejack said, “It’s kinda hard ta think with that thing starin’ me down.” Twilight took a couple more breaths and nodded.

“Yes, you’re right,” she said and stood up, “Let’s go.” Before they could, somepony cleared their throat behind them. Twilight turned to find Mayor Mare looking rather displeased.

“And where are you going leaving that lying there?” she asked pointing at the MAG agent.

“Oh, u-um…” Fluttershy started but trailed off.

“You are not going anywhere until you clean that up. I don’t want anypony, especially foals, to see that.” The three mares and Spike looked back at Hank, Sanford, and Deimos who shrugged.

“But how in tarnation are we supposed ta move that? It must weigh a ton!” Applejack exclaimed.

“Well you have to figure something out. I won’t allow that to stay there.” As soon as Mayor Mare said that a few bolts of white lightning shot down from the sky, struck the MAG agent, and caused it to disappear. Everyone assembled stared at now unoccupied space in surprise until Mayor Mare cleared her throat again.

“Well, you still have to clean up the… liquid and get rid of that beast,” she said and pointed at the truck. Twilight sighed as Deimos walked up with a mop, which she took telekinetically.

“Alright, let’s do this quickly. Spike, can you go get things set up?”

“Sure thing Twilight,” Spike said with a salute before running to the library. As he ran he thought to himself, ‘I hope Rarity is alright.’

“You call this a living space? This is simply dreadful!” Rarity yelled as she looked horrified at the cell walls. The two 1337 stationed to guard her were already at their wits end. “I mean, everything is so gray! Don’t you know that more relaxing colors are in this season? A few walls of purple or blue would be much better than this.”

One of the 1337 leaned his FAL against the wall to rub his forehead.

“And what is going on with your attire? Plain black suits with red sunglasses? Those clash so horribly! I don’t know who designed your suits, but I’ll tell you need to fire them right away!”

1337 could take a lot of things, but someone insulting their glasses was not one of them. So the 1337 took out a notepad and pencil, wrote something down, and tossed the piece of paper into the cell.

“Quit your whining?” Rarity read out loud, “I’ll have you know that I am complaining. You want to hear whining?” the 1337 agent who didn’t write the note seemed to glare at the other one.

It took a while, but they had finally finished cleaning up the mess in front of the café, though Fluttershy had opted out of cleaning and went to help Spike at the library. Now the ponies were leading Hank, Sanford, and Deimos (the latter two driving the truck) back to the library.

“Ok, careful guys,” Twilight said nervously as Deimos backed the truck up to the library. The nervousness proved to be for naught as Deimos was a decent enough driver and didn’t crash into the tree. Twilight led Hank and Deimos inside, though Applejack stopped Sanford.

“Ya might want ta clean that up,” Applejack said pointing at the blood soaked truck. Sanford gave her an annoyed look in return. “Ah don’t know what it’s like where you come from, but if any foals see that they’ll be scarred fer life. There’s a hose there, clean it up.” The two got into a minor staring contest for almost half a minute until Sanford shrugged and walked over to the hose, picked it up, and dragged it to the truck.

“We have to make a plan!” Twilight yelled and galloped around the library levitating books and papers around wildly, “How are we going to find them? There has to be some way to find them!”

“Um Twilight, maybe you should… calm down a little?” Fluttershy said and looked to Hank and Deimos, who nodded in agreement.

“How can I calm down at a time like this?” Twilight yelled and grabbed Fluttershy’s shoulders, “You saw that monster! If that thing is normal for them, who knows what they have planned for Rarity, Rainbow Dash, and Pinkie Pie!” She started shaking Fluttershy as her panic became more evident, “They could turn them into mecha ponies bent on wiping all life off of Equestria!”

‘She can’t be serious,’ Hank thought, ‘I mean the A.A.H.W can be dangerous in large numbers, but out of their almost endless numbers only two of them have ever managed to kill me. The same two I might add. I’m sure we’ll be fine.’ Hank motioned to the stairs and walked up them with Deimos.

“Really, thanks fer cleanin’ that up,” Applejack said to Sanford as he came inside, still kind of annoyed. “Ah’d offer ya some food but… what do you eat?” Sanford shrugged and followed Hank and Deimos.

“Twilight, I’m with Fluttershy on this,” Spike said and tried to pull Twilight off of Fluttershy, “Freaking out is not helping out!”

“But…”

“Twilight,” Applejack said and put a hoof on her friends shoulder, “We’re as worried as you are, but freaking out like this isn’t going to help them. We hafta calm down to be of any use, ok?” Twilight stared at Applejack and took a deep breath.

“Yes, you’re right. I’m sorry, I’m just really worried about them.” Fluttershy, Applejack and Spike nodded and gave her a comforting hug. A couple of claps sounded from the top of the stairs and the group looked up at Hank who pointed back into the room with a thumb before walking back.

“I wonder what he wants?” Spike asked and started for the stairs, the three ponies following after him. When they entered Twilight’s room, they found that in the few seconds they were there Hank Sanford and Deimos had turned it into some kind of war room. The white board was there with a list of A.A.H.W agents and a small map of Equestria with various marks on it, as well as crude drawings of their missing friends, and a large table was placed in the center of the room.

“How did you get all this together?” Twilight asked. Deimos held up a receipt which Twilight took with her magic. “All items bought from Things ‘n Stuff, a member of Trololol industries, a subsidiary of Krinkels Inc.” Twilight read and gave the receipt back, “Well ok, I guess we should start planning for-“

One of the walls was blown open over Twilight’s bed startling most everyone in the room. The door embedded in a gray slab opened and a 1337 agent looked outside. The agent nodded and motioned to someone behind him.

“Unhand me you filthy creatures!” a feminine voice called from the door and Rarity was thrown out of the door onto Twilight’s bed. The 1337 made a gesture across his throat and stepped back from the door, which closed and the gray slab flew away from the hole. “Well that was rude.”

“CAN’T THEY USE A DOOR LIKE NORMAL PONIES?!” Twilight yelled pointing at the hole in the wall. Rarity rolled off the bed and started adjusting her mane while Sanford crossed her image off of the white board.

“Well, now we only have to worry about Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash.” Applejack said and looked at Twilight, “So, what was yer plan?”

“Oh right,” Twilight said and cleared her throat, “I guess we should start by having Rarity tell us what happened.”

Her breathing was still ragged, the room was still dark, and Trixie still didn’t know where she was. Suddenly some flood lights burst to life blinding her. At the top of her vision scrolled some strange symbols which soon changed to her own language.

Test subject PA- 2351, nice to see you are awake. Before we begin testing we will run calibrations on your suit. Please standby.

‘Suit? What are they talking-?’ Trixie thought just as a surge of electricity passed through her. She tried to scream, but could only gasp and breathe deeply as a surge of fresh air shot into her lungs. She continued breathing deeply as text continued to crawl along the top of her vision.

Life support systems: stable.

Strength enhancing systems: stable.

Standby for sight calibration.

Machinery started grinding and Trixie’s vision slipped downward. Once it stopped Trixie realized that she was strapped to some kind of table and was staring at a window. Several of the strange creatures she saw earlier were watching her behind the windows and some were wandering around.

What caught Trixie’s eye was her reflection.

She was wearing some kind of gray armor, which fit around her form tightly. It seemed much more advanced than any Equestrian armor she had ever seen, but also… unpolished. They could have at least painted it a more appealing color. At least they had made room for her horn.

Sight calibrations beginning, please look at the red light.

Just as that came up in her vision, a red light lit up above the window. A little dot appeared in the center of Trixie’s vision and she moved her head so it was at the center of the light and it turned green. A light appeared below the window and she looked at that one too.

Vertical calibrations complete. Look around the room to complete calibrations.

Trixie did as told and felt her annoyance and anger growing.

‘Do these fools know who I am? I am the Great and Powerful Trixie, not some simple foal they can order around! I’ll make them pay for this indignity once I get out.’

Calibrations complete. You will be free to move around in ten seconds.

‘Yes, this could be my chance to escape! For now I have to be calm.’ Once ten seconds had passed the restraints holding her released and she fell unceremoniously to the floor. Trixie expected the armor to be clunky and unwieldy but was pleasantly surprised that she could move like she was wearing nothing. She walked around a little testing how it works, but really she was glad she could breathe again.

There are some problems with a back leg motor. Stop moving while a technician enters to fix it.

Trixie stopped as a grey creature, very much different from the ones in suits and masks, entered the room and approached her. It moved behind her and started doing something to the suit.

‘Did it just touch my flank?!’ Trixie thought feeling something on her coat, ‘Oh he’s going to get it.’ After a minute the creature finished with whatever it was doing.

Please test the back right leg motor.

Trixie did so by kicking at the creatures head, going right through its head. She tried to shake the body off, but once it became apparent it wouldn’t come off she used her magic to get it off. She looked at the body and then the window and smiled underneath the helmet.

Wait, what is it-?

Trixie whipped the body back and threw it at the window, breaking it and killing one of the suited creature behind it.

The test subject has gone rampant! Send in the kill team!

‘They do realize I can see that right?’ Trixie thought as a door opened and two suits and a mask charged her. The first suit threw a punch at her, which only bounced off the suit. A small bead of sweat dropped down its face as Trixie put a boot through it. A quick upward motion tore the head from the body and Trixie tossed it at the other suit which embedded into its chest. The mask decided it would be best if it ran, which it would have if Trixie didn’t stab her horn through its eye sockets. Trixie pushed the body off her horn and was glad she couldn’t feel the blood.

‘Well, that was nice of them to open the door for me,’ Trixie thought and walked through the door.

“Now that I think of it, has Princess Celestia been informed of this?” Spike asked. The assembled looked at him and Twilight groaned and facehoofed.

“Of course, why didn’t I think of that before?” she said. Hank made a questioning gesture at Twilight. “You see, Princess Celestia is our ruler and protector. If something bad is happening, she or her sister Princess Luna are usually the ones to go to. Spike, take a letter!”

“On it,” Spike said and ran out of the room.

“So Sanford, about these three fellers here,” Applejack said pointing to a row of heads, one wearing a mask with pointy hair, one with a beard and mangy hair, and one pitch black, “Are they any dangerous?” Sanford picked up a marker and started writing down some things. First he wrote what seemed to be statuses for them, K.I.A with a large question mark, M.I.A, and Active respectively, and three lines connected too ‘Very Dangerous.’

“So…that a yes?” Applejack asked with mild sarcasm. Sanford gave her an annoyed look and continued writing as Spike came back with a piece of parchment and a quill.

“Ok, I’m ready to write when you are,” he said.

“Ok,” Twilight said and cleared her throat, “Dear Princess Celestia.” While Twilight narrated the letter, Rarity had finished recounting her tale to Deimos.

“So did you get all that dear?” Rarity asked. Deimos finished writing on the notepad he had and showed Rarity what he wrote, which was a rather unflattering doodle of Rarity in a diaper crying next to a pile of 1337 agents with one of them holding a gun to his head. “WHY I NEVER!” Rarity yelled snatching the drawing and tearing it to pieces, “Just because a couple of them couldn’t stand being near me doesn’t mean you have to make fun of me for it! I guess you don’t want to hear about what I saw on my way out then.” Deimos immediately got ready to write again and looked at Rarity. “That’s better.”

“Wow, ah don’t like the sound of this ‘Arbiter’ character, especially if he’s as ruthless as ya say,” Applejack said adjusting her hat. Sanford just shrugged and continued writing descriptions on the white board.

“…And that’s the situation Princess. I look forward to hearing your response. Your faithful student, Twilight Sparkle,” Twilight said finishing the letter. “Did you get all that Spike?”

“And… done!” Spike reread the letter before rolling it up, walking to one of the holes in the wall, and breathing some fire onto it. Hank watched the green smoke fly away for a second before turning back to the table in front of him.

“So, how are we doing on this um… Mr. Hank?” Fluttershy asked. The weapons Sanford and Deimos had, the former’s usual hook and Ruger along with a half full Uzi and the latter’s full Beretta, lay in front of them. This was honestly more than Hank had expected, since he’s caused plenty of damage with less, so he nodded his answer at Fluttershy. He reached for the Uzi to check it just as Spike cringed a little and burped out some green smoke which formed into a scroll.

“That didn’t take long,” Twilight said picking up the scroll with her magic. She opened it and read it, her eyes widening in surprise.

“What does it say dear?” Rarity asked. Twilight lay the letter on the table so everyone could see what it said.

Dear Twilight Sparkle,

I’m coming to Ponyville. We should talk about this in person.

Sincerely, Princess Celestia.