The Cumtastic Journey

Spike's wrist jerked back and forth in an unnatural motion, he groaned gutturally and came buckets of spiders and threw them at the Ponyville orphanage because spiders are super spooky. Spike ran upstairs on his midget dragon legs like a faggot and grabbed twilight a socks (with real looking veins), which she had despite the fact that she doesn't wear shoes. He placed his tic tac sized wang into his mouth and placed the sock, now filled with mash potato, into his butt. Spike came lava buckets again and twilight walked into the room schlicking furiously.

"What the cunt fuck are you doing, slave?" Yelled Twilight, whose horny mood had been ruined by the super scary sexual stimulations spike was partaking in.

Spike yelled in disgust at the fucking spectacle of the fucking schlicking and called twilight the author's sexual fantasy. Twilight slapped the shit out of spike and told him to go work in the cotton fields. Spike thought this was toooootallly unfaiiiiir!!!!!1!!!!!

Spike pulled the cotton off of the bushes, which Twilight had magically smeared in poo because she's cunt, and cursed the events which had bought him here (which the author will not recount because he's a fucking gay lazy neck beard, and is to busy getting the taste of dick out of his mouth to write the fucking flashback). Spike went up to his room and began to crysturbate. He continued this activity until his dick was red raw, and then fell asleep.

Spike woke up the next day. He yawned heartily, took a drink from his personal collection of Rarity's bodily fluid and then decided to crank one out. He moved his hand slowly towards his crotch area, and realised with horror that his penis was no longer there. Spike ripped of the covers and looked at the empty area where his love staff used to be, and saw a note, written in terrible English. Spike snatched up the note and began to read.

"Hey m8ty dis is ur dick speakin, discord came along in da night and maed me alive SUPER SPOOKY! Anyway, im sik and tired of bein abused whenever u want to feel good so I'm leavin to join da circus soz man :( luv ur dick <3."

"Well shit," exclaimed Spike, "I guess I'm going to have to go on an epic quest, meeting a whole bunch of memorable characters, making new enemies which later become friends, and making new friends which later become enemies, all resulting in a satisfying climax in which I will reunite with lost desire and profess my enteral love for it, because after all, this is an extremely cliche Fanfiction, made by a shitty author. On a completely unrelated note, Knighty sucks dick, because his is tiny."

"What the fuck Spike," said the author angrily, "you aren't allowed to put meta content on this website, you'll get me banned you faggot."

"Fuck you dad, I do what I want."

"Fine!" Screeched the author with tears in his eyes and alcohol on his breath, "I never loved you anyway."

Spike stopped the emotionally crushing conversation and left to find his lost love. He went to the only place he could think to find a horny penis, the sock factory. He went to the Ponyville sock factory, which had been closed down only three days after opening, because ponies don't wear socks, and he opened the decrepit factory and saw his penis frolicking in the rotted socks. Spike pounced on his dick, but got thrown off because spike is a massive pussy faggot. The love stick's small size gave it a massive advantage when evading its master, and started out the door, Spike followed in hot pursuit.