Her Royal Highness, Princess Luna of Equestria, Steward of the Moon and Mistress of Dreams, was horrifically bored.

She laid on her plush, downy bed upside down, head hanging over the edge and pointing towards her television. It glowed with its strangely reassuring artificial light, her familiar companion on many evenings. She poked her game controller, once, before picking it up in her magic and half-heartedly checking her friends list.

Nope, nopony on. Except that one guy that always tried to play sniper when, bless him, he couldn't aim to save his life. She supposed she could always play a little Grand Theft Auto V, but she was still miffed at the unfair star system.

Besides, any NPC taking a selfie amidst a war zone deserves to be bludgeoned repeatedly.

With a frustrated sigh, she tossed the controller to the floor and rolled her eyes. There was nothing to do. The moon was raised for the night, citizens were having mostly peaceful dreams, and Night Court was cancelled that night due to a lack of petitioners. Everything was perfect, running smoothly, and peaceful.

Luna hated it.

Even the amusement garnered by watching her sister go on dates for the first time in ages was tempered by the fact that, apparently, she hadn't gone out tonight. She could hear Celestia moving about in the room two doors down, presumably organizing paperwork or shining her crown or whatever it was she did. Luna puffed out air from her cheeks, then pricked up an ear.

A door down the hall opened, and then closed. The familiar tinkle of magic could be heard in the air, wafting to Luna. Hoofsteps sounded in the hall, the gait far too long and regal to be anypony's but her sister's.

A moment later, a gentle knock interrupted her boredom, and she glanced to the door. She considered rising to a more dignified position, but shrugged instead. "Enter."

Celestia's multicolored mane preceded her entrance, followed by her graceful white head and neck, a smile playing at her muzzle. "Luna! And how are you doing tonight? No games?" She gestured to the dutifully whirring console as she entered fully, securing the door behind her. Luna rolled her eyes again.

"No. Nopony is online to play, and there is nothing to do. I am bored, sister." She rolled her head on her neck, side to side, before fixing her gaze on Celestia again.

Celestia pursed her lips, eyes flitting about the room. "Why not make friends with some of the castle staff?" At Luna's snort of reply, the older alicorn hardened slightly. "I know you don't feel the need to make friends, but I'll remind you that it was the magic of friendship that saved you from yourself. It might be harder to make friends as an adult, Luna, but please at least try?" Pleading rose eyes met half-lidded, bored teal ones, and Luna sighed again. The pleading turned to mischief, and Celestia nudged her upside-down sister. "Besides, I remember a certain somepony telling me to be more approachable, years ago..."

"Alright. If you could remember, though, that the ponies run from me in fear?" Luna sat up, ponderously, before flopping down on her bed properly, chin on her pillow. "It is exhausting, trying to get our little ponies to see me as another pony." Her wings fluttered out beside her, and, bored, Luna began straightening her feathers.

Tapping a hoof, Celestia glanced around the room again, eyes finally alighting on Luna's laptop. A grin split her muzzle, and she turned back to her sister, who was still mid-preen. "Luna? Why not use the computer to find friends? Lots of ponies go online, and, I mean, you got me to try dating online, so you can probably at least find friends there."

Luna rose, curiously, and trotted to her gently blinking laptop. Folding her wings to her side, she nodded. "I suppose that is true. One can find anything one desires on the internet, or so they say..." She settled into her plush desk chair, undoing the catch of the laptop with her magic and booting it with a gentle press of a button. With a sly smile, she glanced at Celestia. "No date tonight, sister? Is that why you are so concerned now with my boredom?"

Celestia scratched the back of her head with a hoof, smiling wryly. "Ah, well, I just needed a night off. To recover."

At Luna's quirked eyebrow, Celestia sighed. "That Hera throws a mean right hook." The Sun Princess rubbed her cheek, where an already-healed bruise had sat the previous evening. "I'm taking a little break."

Luna chuckled, turning back to her computer. "That's fair. Try not to pull any more married dates, Celestia..."

"That wasn't my... I didn't know..." Celestia sputtered, halting as she caught the little smile playing at her sister's lips. "Brat."

As Luna opened up a search engine and began to type, Celestia smiled her beatific smile and slipped from the room. She'll find a group of like-minded ponies and make friends. I hate how lonely she is. She made her way back to her own bedroom, intent upon finding a date that, if not sane, was at least pleasant company.

The door clicked shut as Luna finished typing "friends for adults" and clicked "Search". Her eyes widened, and she grinned, clopping her hooves together in jubilation.

"Adultfriendfinder? That sounds perfect!"

And with another ill-fated click, she was on her way.

Ten minutes later (after ordering a pot of coffee to her chambers and dismissing the shivering, nervous maid that brought it), Luna had her profile set up. The username was the hardest part, as most that she chose were taken; she reminded herself later to possibly smite "Luna" and "Princess_of_the_Moon" and "MoonGoddess", those pretenders.

"Alright. Name: Loonacy. Age: Prefer not to say. Interests, hobbies..." She trailed off, reading and re-reading her extensive profile. "Ah! I missed a part. Let's see. Body...type?" She sat back, blinking, before glancing at her long, blue form, and then back up to the screen. "Fit, I suppose? Eye color: Teal, hair color: Night Sky/Assorted Nebulae..." She filled in the fields quickly with practiced taps of her hooves, pausing only to take a deep swig of the black coffee in her black "Best Princess" mug that sat beside her. Musing, she stared at the profile, before shrugging.

"Eh. Good enough." She clicked "Submit", then clicked on her own profile to see how it looked. "Oh, there's a space for pictures! I should do that." She began browsing her computer, flicking through various albums. "No, these are too regal, these are too intimidating... THESE are only for special someponies..." Her eyes flicked to the corner of the screen at some movement. A white "1" on a red field had appeared under "Messages". Shrugging, she turned back to the photos. Probably just the usual "welcome to our website" message.

"DEFINITELY not my filly pictures... I thought I had those deleted and all copies burned..."

Glancing back up again, she noted with mild surprise that the number had climbed to "17" already. "What on earth...?" she mumbled. Finally finding the candid photos of herself in another folder, she uploaded a shot of herself, horn glowing, while raising the moon. She turned her attention then to the steadily climbing messages tab, bringing her coffee up for another sip.

A sip that promptly wound up half on her screen, half stuck in her throat, and the regal, imposing Princess Luna coughed until she dry heaved. Eyes watering, she wrinkled her nose at the mess and pressed the button on her desk to summon a maid. Wiping the last of the stray coffee from her muzzle, she chanced another glance at the screen.

It was, pretty clearly, a message from a male. Very clearly. After a short "hey i'm tall dark n handsome, big dick, sixteen inches come ride me xx" message, he had thoughtfully included a photo of his penis. Luna blinked.

"I thought this was a site for making friends. What in Tartarus...?"

Instead of closing it immediately, as was her first instinct, she took another sip of coffee, and looked. She leaned back in her chair, eyes squinting slightly, and sipped yet again. Some form of academic curiosity took over. She tilted her head.

A small yellow pony, topped with a neatly plaited orange mane, bustled into Luna's room while levitating a spray bottle and a roll of towels. "Here I am, Your Highness, just let me..." She trailed off, standing beside Luna's chair and blinking.

After a moment, she tilted her head, too.

Luna, never taking her eyes from the screen, spoke. "Merry Weather, you're a grown mare, right?"

The yellow unicorn nodded. "Yes, Your Highness."

"I see. And is it normal for ponies wishing to develop a friendship to send photographs of their genitals to another pony without first having been asked for those photographs?" Luna tilted her head the other way.

"No, Your Highness. Not exactly." The shock of what was on the screen had worn off somewhat, and Merry Weather looked over at the Princess instead.

"Ah. Because, you see, this site was, I had thought, for finding friendships with other adult ponies."

Merry Weather leaned towards the laptop, squinted at the URL, and then smiled slightly. "Well, Your Highness, it is. Um, sort of. It's for... friends with benefits." Merry blushed, clearing her throat and rubbing one foreleg on the other nervously.

Luna's eyes lit up with understanding. "Oh. Do they offer doctor visits and a competitive 401k account and retirement package?"

Fighting the urge to facehoof, Merry shook her head. "Ah. No. The only package it offers is... uh, that one." She moved to begin wiping the coffee from the screen, but hesitated, and fell back again.

They both fixed their eyes back on the screen. "So it is a sexually-oriented site?"

Merry Weather nodded, still unwilling to wipe the screen upon which sat the penis. "It's for finding sexual partners, Your Highness. We call no strings attached sexual partners 'friends with benefits', you see."

"I... okay. I see. I, The Princess of the Night, have made an account on a site solely for finding males to rut with."

Blushing still more furiously, Merry Weather nodded once. "Yes. Well, I mean, you could also find mares. If. Um. You wanted." She brought a hoof to her face, massaging her temple. Did I just... yes, yes I did.

The alicorn seemed to take this in stride, however, and nodded. "I suppose it is not out of mind for me to make such... friends. I am a grown mare, after all." She glanced up at Merry Weather, and suppressed a grin. "Just one more thing, Merry Weather?"

"Of course, Your Highness. What is it?"

Luna turned back to the screen, pointing accusingly with a silver-shod hoof.

"There is no way that is sixteen inches."

"No, Your Highness. Not in his wildest dreams."

The mares locked eyes then, finally, and began giggling. Luna clicked away from the improperly measured phallus, and Merry Weather finally took to clearing off the coffee on the laptop. Still chuckling, Luna patted Merry Weather on the withers.

"You understand, of course, that what has just happened never extends past this room, right?"

With a grin, Merry nodded. "Of course, Your Highness. I'm sure he couldn't get it to, either."

Collapsing into further gales of laughter, Luna clicked back to the site, determined to get at least some amusement out of it. Checking further messages, she smiled slowly. "Oh, this one isn't bad... not bad at all...

To Be Continued...

Author's Note

IT BEGINS

Thanks, of course, to RainbowBob for giving me his blessing to write this story. It will roughly follow the timeline of his story, Celestia Uses An Online Dating Website, and will probably have several cameos from there Just the same as Bob, I'm happy to take suggestions for folks Luna can converse with or meet up with! Let me know via comment or PM :)

As a woman who has used dating websites in the past, I think this will be an excellent way for me to blow off steam about the less savory characters one meets.