Guardians Saga: Guardians of Teufort

Darkfire opened his eyes to see William kneeling over him. “Doctor, Derpy, Darkfire’s waking up!” Will called out. Both of the ponies he named trotted over.

With Will supporting him, Darkfire sat up, rubbing his slightly aching head. “What a hangover... I got too drunk again, didn't I?” he asked, then noticed their surroundings. “Wait; where in Tartarus are we?” he wondered.

The Doctor shrugged. “We appear to be in a locker room. As for your other questions, we have no idea. We just arrived to find you and the others passed out on the floor, then the TARDIS left without us...”

Others? Darkfire thought, looking around. Sure enough, four familiar ponies were passed out on the tile floor. “Surprise, surprise,” Darkfire chuckled as he got to his feet. “The musical masters are here too.”

Darkfire froze. “I just remembered what happened!” he told the others. “I was with Aqua Dancer, riffing a really bad and really long story. I gave up on riffing it sober, so I went to my fridge to get some cider. However, as soon as I opened it, I began to glow green. Then, I woke up here,” he explained.

“Oh, dear. What was that glow?” Octavia said, coming to and noticing the four conscious beings. “Doctor? Darkfire? Derpy? William? What’s going on here?” she asked.

Derpy shrugged. “No idea, Octavia. We’re as clueless as you.”

Just then, Synch groaned, holding a hoof to his forehead. “Shut up, all of you! I've got a massive hangover!” he shouted, then flinched at his own voice’s volume.

Neon and Vinyl, who also had just awakened, helped Synch to his hooves. Darkfire cleared his throat, getting everyone’s attention. “Alright. The way I see it, we’re stuck here, in an unknown place.” He began to walk to the door. “We might as well get our bearings and learn the lay of the land, see if we can find some local ponies or transportation,” he explained.

Just then, the shutter door opened, revealing three humans. The oldest one was wearing a green camouflage bodysuit, as well as having a spear strapped to his back. His eyes were a neon yellow, and the air around him crackled with electricity. He had short, silver hair, and he carried a green briefcase in his right hand.

The youngest newcomer wore a forest green light jacket, as well as khaki jeans. Two tomahawks were attached to his waist in a position so that they could be easily pulled out, and his brown eyes were partly hidden by a pair of aviators. His brown hair reached down to his neck.

The final human was a short Asian man wearing a high tech headset, a light green vest, and a satchel filled with scrap metal hanging at his waist. He had ginger hair, and sky blue eyes. Out of the three, Darkfire recognized the the Asian and the oldest man, and Will instantly recognized the youngest one.

William gasped. “Zip? Brother, is it really you?” Will asked in shock, then gasped a second time. “Wait! That’s where I’d heard of this place before! We’re in the Mann Co. universe, aren’t we?” he asked the three newcomers.

The youngest one nodded. “You’re as smart as ever, brother. Nice to see you kept your cunning in your time living in Equestria!” he exclaimed.

Darkfire walked over to the trio, giving the bowman and the other guy handshakes. “Nice to see you, Lightning Zap. You too, Hi-Tek,” he said calmly.

The Doctor held up a hoof. “Okay, for once in my long life, I have no clue what is going on,” he said, confused.

Zap, the bowman, turned to the ponies. “Let me explain the situation. My name is Lightning Zap, and these are my colleagues, Zip Powers and Hi-Tek. We needed help and were going to summon just Darkfire and Will, then realized we needed help from nine people, or ponies. So we called upon all of you, since you are all known associates of these two. However, a certain ‘Spiral Trance’ is missing...” he noticed.

Will groaned. “You need a team to combat Reliable Excavations and Demolitions and Builder’s League United, don’t you?” he asked, facepalming.

Hi-Tek nodded, prompting a question from Octavia. “Why do we need to combat them? What are they, for that matter?” she asked.

Lightning Zap set down the briefcase, opening it and taking out an orb of energy. Darkfire and Will recognized it as one of the ones the Master Heroes used to gather and hold information. “Zephaniah Mann, a famous man from the 1800s, died traveling to the newly-discovered land of America and split his properties between his two sons, Redmond and Blutarch. They despised each other, and so the two have hired teams of mercenaries to take over each other's land,” Lightning explained, as two ancient men in wheelchairs appeared as holograms. "Thanks to one of the current mercenaries' father, they have a greatly extended lifespan.

“The war has reached a high point, and we must take action to stop them from ruining this world. The current teams of their mercenaries look exactly the same, and are a special bunch.” Nine mercenaries appeared, replacing the old men. “We only have information on the RED ones, but that should be enough.”

Eight of the nine mercenaries disappeared, leaving a young, lanky man wearing a baseball cap. He had a duffel bag over his shoulder, and carried a baseball bat. “This is the Scout, a young, 20-year-old man from Boston, Massachusetts. He was the youngest of seven brothers raised by a single mom. Usually, fights ended before he could get a hit in. Thus, he learned to be fast, running everywhere and even learning the Double Jump, which can break the laws of physics themselves.

“He can capture points and push the payload faster than any of the others.” The image of the Scout was replaced by three weapons. “He carries into battle a Scattergun, a Pistol, and a Baseball Bat,” Zap finished.

Neon chuckled. “And I thought one brother was hard enough!” he teased, j

The weapons faded, replaced with a man in a military tunic. He wore a helmet that covered his eyes, and a bandolier with grenades hooked to it. He held a Rocket Launcher. “The next warrior is the Soldier. He was rejected from the army during World War 2, so he made his way to Europe to participate on his own. He trained himself to use several weapons and went on a Nazi killing spree until two years after the war.

“Afterwards, he somehow found his way under the employment of Mann Co. He wields a Rocket Launcher, a Shotgun, and an entrenching tool(a Shovel).” Just like the Scout, the Soldier was replaced by his weapons.

Darkfire nodded. “Cool, A true fighter.”

The next mercenary wore a protective fire suit and gas mask. He held a Flamethrower. “The Pyro is a mystery. It is not even known if they are a boy or girl. They love fire, and seem to be friendly with another one of the mercenaries, the Engineer. They use a Flamethrower, a Shotgun, and a Fire Ax to strike fear into their enemies.”

Derpy frowned. “Sounds like a monster…”

Zap nodded. "She is."

The fourth mercenary was a dark-skinned man wearing an eye patch and a winter cap. He held a Grenade Launcher. “The Demoman was born in Scotland, and quickly found a fascination with bombs. After an encounter with a wizard named Merasmus, he lost his eye. He is almost always drunk, even in battle. He uses a Grenade Launcher, a Stickybomb Launcher, and a Bottle of Scrumpy to defeat his foes.”

Synch chuckled. “Always drunk? Sounds like my kind of guy!” He slipped a canteen out of Hammerspace, and popped it open, taking a gulp of his scotch.

The next human was a true giant, with a bald head and a bullet bandolier, eating a sandwich. “The Heavy Weapons Guy, or Heavy for short, is the strongest member of the team. He loves ‘sandviches’ and his Minigun, which he has named ‘Sasha’. His arsenal consists of that Minigun, a Shotgun, and his bare fists.”

Vinyl shrugged. “Sounds tough. I’d love to fight him sometime.”

The next hologram was a short man wearing a hard hat, builders’ goggles, and a single work glove. He stood next to a Sentry Gun and a rectangle device with a screen, knobs, and a bin with several kinds of ammo in it. “The Engineer is a man from the state of Texas. He has 11 PhDs, and has built a variety of machines to help him in battle, including the Sentry Gun, the Dispenser, and the two-piece Teleporter. Other than those, he has a PDA to access his blueprints, a Wrench to build and repair his machines, a Pistol, and a Shotgun.”

The Doctor chuckled. “11 PhDs? He’s a pretty smart human…”

After the Engineer was a man wearing a doctor’s coat. He was holding a strange weapon, and a dove was perched on his shoulder. “This is the Medic. Despite his name and role of healing others on the field, he does not like healing. Instead, he prefers pain over health, and sees healing itself as a way to cause more pain later. He wields a Syringe Gun, a Medigun that he uses to heal others, and a Bonesaw.”

Will gasped. “That’s awful! What kind of healer is he?” he asked, blatantly shocked.

“I have no idea,” Zap admitted. The Medic was replaced by a tall, lanky man wearing a bush hat and aviators. He was waving at something out of view, and held a Sniper Rifle.  “The Sniper is an assassin from down under, in the land of Australia. He is an expert marksman, and his motto is: ‘be polite, be efficient, have a plan to kill everyone you meet.’ His weapons are a Sniper Rifle, an SMG, and a Kukri knife.”

The Sniper was replaced by a man wearing a suit and a balaclava. He was holding a Revolver and smoking a cigarette. “The final class is the Spy. He is a complete mystery, and all we know are his tactics. He is a master of disguise and stealth. He wields a Revolver, a Knife to stab people in the back, a Sapper to destroy the Engineer’s machines, and a Disguise Kit.”

Octavia smiled. “At least one of them has some class,” she stated in relief as she looked over the mercenary.

Finally, the hologram shut off, and Zap took out nine card-like items. “We want each of you to pick a class for the battles.” Each card had a symbol that stood for each class.

Darkfire shrugged. “Why not let us use our own abilities?” he asked in confusion.

Zap shook his head. “Our Respawn system is not the same as theirs. These cards are the only way to connect to it. You’ll get the abilities, weapons, and outfits of the mercenary you choose.”

Zip nodded. “I’ll show them.” He walked over to the Sniper card and picked it up. There was a flash of light, and when it faded, Zip was wearing the Sniper’s outfit and holding a Sniper Rifle. “Nice, huh?” he asked. For some reason Zap seemed worried, but got over it quickly.

“Alright,” Zap said. “Zip, Hi-Tek, and I need to talk. You guys pick from the remaining eight classes. We’ll be back in a second.” He led the two outside, leaving the eight heroes.

Synch immediately trotted up to the Demoman card and snatched it up, causing another flash. Synch reached for the Bottle, and quickly gulped a drink from it. “Ah, just like Berry’s finest!” he praised.

Chuckling, his brother Neon trotted over, grabbing the Scout card. Holding the Scattergun in his magic, he examined it a bit closer, deep in thought. “Amazing… it appears to be modified for better use in the Scout’s fights…”

Vinyl moved over to her associates, grabbing the Heavy card. “I definitely want to have the big guns!” she said, smirking.

Will grabbed the Medic card quickly. “I don’t want to be a major fighter. I’m more of a mage when I play RPGs anyways,” he explained. “Plus, I don’t want to use guns bigger than my magnum,” he quietly mumbled.

The Doctor trotted over to the Engineer card. “I may not be a big fan of guns, but I guess if I have to use one so Will doesn't, I might as well not directly shoot them, just enable the weapon,” he surrendered.

Derpy took the Pyro card. “I can use the Flamethrower to make muffins easier!” she exclaimed, eating said baked good with an expression that showed the muffin was extremely delicious.

The Doctor chuckled. "Derpy, you do know, that's not what- You know what, never mind."

That left Octavia and Darkfire to pick from Soldier and Spy. “You can choose, Octavia,” Darkfire said with a kind smile. “I can fill in for either one.”

“Very well then,” Octavia replied, taking the Spy card. She quickly pulled off her balaclava with a frown. “I’m not gonna use this on the battlefield…" She slipped the mask into her suit pocket. "However, I’ll keep it with me, for just in case.”

“Alright, looks like I’m the Soldier!” Darkfire announced, picking up the final card. “Looks like we’re all ready.”

Before long, the trio of heroes returned. Hi-Tek was holding a strange device. “We’ve arranged for transport. Follow us.”

The eight Guardians followed the heroes to a wall in the room across the hallway outside the room. There, a portal was open, showing a storage facility with what appeared to be a firing range. “After you,” Zap said, letting the Guardians enter the portal.