Equestrian Psycho

Minutes flew by as Rarity made herself up with surgical precision. She applied more brands of cream than the spa carried, and scoured her entire body for any hints of blemishes. Finished and somewhat satisfied, she pranced out onto her patio and sniffed the cool air. Sitting with her legs crossed, she gradually entered into a hypnotic state of meditation. Her heart slowed and she breathed with a perfect rhythmic cadence. Well over an hour passed before she decided to halt her spiritual journey and head back inside. Sweetie Belle was at Sweet Apple Acres, the newspapers were laid, and every item on her mental checklist was completed and accounted for. She was ready.

Not ten seconds after she retreated indoors, a pleasant twang echoed throughout the carefully decorated rooms of Carousel Boutique. Rarity gasped excitedly at the sound of the doorbell and rushed downstairs to welcome her guest in. Before she opened the door, she primped her mane one last time and picked at her teeth with her hoof. Grinning from ear to ear, she swung the door open to reveal a suave wheat colored pegasus with a glossy coat and shimmering eyes. Rarity bade the beautiful pony in and showed her over to a tidy coffee table. They hugged and exchanged pleasantries.

“I'm so excited you're here!” said Rarity with a trill. “I can hardly believe it – the illustrious Regal Beats taking an interest in my designs! This is so surreal, like a dream! Oh, listen to me ranting. This isn't about me, it's about you, and you look absolutely stunning this morning.”

“As do you, Miss Rarity!” said Regal in a creamy voice. “Thank you so much for agreeing to meet me on such short notice. I imagine that you're a very busy mare, after all. This is such a nice little place you have here, too. There's plenty of space, but it's quiet and rustic at the same time. Simply perfect. Anyway, I'm extremely excited as well. To say your creativity caught my eye is an understatement! It's always the same stuffy designers prancing up and down Canterlot, offering the same old recycled patterns season after season. The monotony drives a mare crazy, you know? I figured, 'Hey, I should go fashion hunting!' I had no earthly idea that Ponyville had such a premiere fashion expert hiding right under my nose the whole time! I'm sure this will be wondrous for both of us.”

“Absolutely,” Rarity agreed. “There are pictures of my newest line in that album there,” she said while pointing to a binder on the table. “Feel free to browse; I'll be right back. Let me fetch you something to drink. What's your poison?”

Regal giggled. “Oh my, isn't it a little early in the day?”

Rarity shot her a coy smile. “Don't be silly, darling. Why not celebrate a little? I may live in Ponyville, but I still know how to have fun. Come on now, don't be shy.”

“Very well. I suppose a glass of rum wouldn't hurt.”

“Excellent!” Rarity cantered into the kitchen and extracted two glasses out of the cabinet. She magically lifted a bottle of rum from under the sink and hovered it in front of her. Sweeping the glasses up in the magic, she walked back toward the parlor. Her preferred tool was still right where she'd left it: propped innocently beside the doorway.

The glasses clinked delicately as Rarity placed them onto the table. She smiled politely at Regal and poured two generous glasses of rum. She then took a seat across from her client and observed her leafing through the pages of images. After a few sips of her drink, Regal looked up and spoke in a sing-song voice.

“Well Miss Rarity, I love everything I'm seeing so far. Your line is positively vibrant! I can feel the energies and inspirations bursting from the seams, and let me say, I want in. Shall we discuss the specifics? Shipping, prices, the like?”

Rarity refilled her glass and felt a small twitch in her eye. “Of course. Have you already selected the ones you want? Do you have an estimate on the size of your order? We'll just have to work out all the small things first.”

Regal answered, and the two mares began conversing back and forth about the details of the sale. Rarity flipped to certain pages and pointed out specific things about her designs, and Regal provided plenty of positive feedback. The two drank a little here and there, but Rarity always insisted on refilling Regal's glass. Her alcohol never ran dry during their interaction. As could be expected, she eventually spoke minutely slower, and with minor difficulty. Rarity kept the rum coming, and Regal continued to intoxicate herself. Eventually the talk shifted away from fashion designs and derailed into a myriad of topics.

“He was so fine!” hissed Regal with a squeaky giggle. “You could totally tell he was into me...”

“Aaaaand?” Rarity pressed. She swirled her glass around, watching the liquid move. The smile never left her face as she grilled Regal for juicy details.

“So after that I, you know...” Regal puffed her cheek out with her tongue and made a back and forth motion with her hoof.

“You didn't!” gasped Rarity.

Regal flopped onto her side and broke into a fit of giggles. “Ssh! Don't – don't tell anypony!”

“Oh, I would never.”

“Have you ever -” She cracked up again before she could finish.

Rarity stood up and glanced toward another room. “Oh Miss Regal, what a taboo subject! A lady of my stature should never disclose such sensitive information. However, if you truly want to know, follow me into the other room. It's a little more private.”

Regal got up too, swaying from side to side. “Ooh! This is scandalous! L-let's do it!”

The two walked into a large room with paintings lining the walls and an expensive looking record player sitting near the back wall. Rarity walked to a nearby trunk and propped it open, eyeing her expansive collection of vinyls. Regal plopped into a chair and took another swig of rum.

“Come on, Miss Rarity, you've sucked a dick haven't you?”

“Oh yes, dozens,” said Rarity without looking up from her records.

Regal howled with laughter and nearly fell out of her chair. “I thought so! Oh that's great! You little slut!”

Rarity selected one of her favorites and set the record playing. As the music filled the room, she reached behind the trunk and pulled out a thin transparent raincoat. She set it on the floor and attempted to squirm into it.

“What else have you done? How far have you gone before?” asked Regal. She played with her wing, keeping herself entertained.

“You first,” Rarity said, grunting as she struggled into the zip-up coat.

“Oh Celestia, I've done some nasty things before.”

Rarity finally slid the rest of the way in and zipped up the coat. She increased the volume of the music and said, “Do tell. I promise your secret is safe with me.”

“Well,” Regal began, “sometimes one stallion just doesn't quite satisfy me...”

“Miss Regal, how lewd!” breathed Rarity. She stepped backward into the door to the parlor. “Excuse me for just one moment, darling. I forgot something important.” She walked through the parlor and into the kitchen doorway where her tool was sitting. She dragged it back with her hoof, opting not to use her magic. When she returned to Regal, she set the tool down and hummed along to the music, bobbing her head rhythmically.

“Hey Miss Rarity,” said Regal quietly. “Why are there copies of the style section all over the floor? Do you have a dog? A little chow or something?” She laughed rather loudly.

“No, Miss Regal,” Rarity answered with a curt grin.

Regal looked over her shoulder and squinted her eyes. “Is that a raincoat?” she asked with a hoof pointed at Rarity.

“Yes it is!” Rarity picked up her tool and watched the metal glint in the fluorescent light. “As for me, I'm a very old fashioned kind of mare. I haven't actually had many sexual partners before, but there are a few that I've had my eye on for a while. The way society works to a mare's disadvantage really discourages me from ever finding a stallion of husband material, and don't even get me started on the moral decay in this country! All the voyeurs and shameless panderers make me want to vomit! There's no sense of sanctity or family values anymore! We might as well just rut ceaselessly in the streets like common swine! Hey, Regal!!!”

Regal looked back.

Rarity levitated the ax with her magic and recklessly charged forward, screeching harshly at the top of her lungs. She ripped the ax down into Regal's back, tearing right through her shoulder and much of her spine. An arching spray of blood burst from the fatal wound, coating Rarity's front in deep crimson. She grabbed the handle of the ax and lurched it out of the corpse, releasing another splash of blood. She then gently set the dripping weapon against the wall and shoved Regal's body onto the floor. With the chair now free, Rarity stripped out of the raincoat and sat down.

“Goodness, I must look a mess,” she mumbled to herself. She levitated a cigar off of the record table and lit it with her magic. “Going to take forever to scrub my face clean...” She crossed her legs, puffed on the cigar, and stared blankly at the pegasus' crumpled body. Sighing, she stood up again and made a noise of disdain. “Guess I better clean this up before Sweetie Belle gets home.”