Pin Hole

I walked through the streets of Canterlot for the first time in a month, Discord by my side enthusing me for the portal he opened, "...I mean, that's why I went to talk to you! But, you seemed to be more--"

"I was balls deep in your princess...." I stated dryly, attracting some strange glares from a few passing ponies, "So...I made the mare that turned you to stone my bitch...does that make you my bitch?"

Discord's brow went completely flat, "You know, I thought little Luna's lessons would curb your potty mou--"

"It ha- they, they have." I rubbed my neck as Discord floated down a boring looking street, "But I don't like you, so why in the love of god would I be civil to you?"

Discord shrugged, his tail wiggling around as he floated down the road, "You could try. I don't hate you, I mean, why would I bring you here if I hated you?"

"Wait...you brought me here?" I hurried my pace through the narrowing street, "You're the reason I'm here!?"

Discord nodded dismissively, "Oh course. Just a little something to stir up Equestria. But I could never have imagined little Tia' would have found someone to take her breath away...among other things."

"You're gonna get pun--"

"But don't feel too special. Celestia has a bad habit of clinging to partners for a few years, then going crazy when they die." he laid his head back across his hands, "Immortality blues...oh the calamity."

I let out a long sigh, "That's really not funny. So...I'm just--"

"One in a line of many royal concubines, yes." Discord fluttered to his right, into an abandoned house. It struck me as odd that no matter where you go, no matter if it was human, animal or pony, an abandoned building is extremely distinct. I hurried after him, moving my way through the home and towards Discord's tail as it wormed its way down a set of stairs.

"So what, I'm here now, that's what matters! Besides...sex is nice...she's...comforting--"

"Oh I'm sure, a little rape fantasy and domination is sure to do her wonders," Discord started cackling, causing me to grow a bit angry and charge after him.

"Listen you little shi--" I stopped dead as I spotted a small light in the center of a mirror, "The hell is that?"

Discord held his arms out, framing the mirror, "Your portal!"

I sauntered through the dusty basement, walking up to the mirror and looking at the pinprick of light, "...Discord, are you joking? I need something I can walk through, or crawl through!"

Discord scoffed, "Well then you should have said tha-ah-ah--achoo--" Discord sneezed, splattering me in mucus and spittle. I held my arms out at my sides and looked down at me, "Apologies, it's a bit dusty down here."

I threw my arms out, throwing spittle off my arms. "Discrod- yous gona- fuck...I uh-" I felt my sense of balance obliterate, "-I don't feel...so gud...." I fell to my knees, grabbing the mirror. My right eye could see dim light on the other side of the portal, "...I can see home...I'm gonna...go...hom--" My hearing sank into a single monotonous ringing.

I fell to the ground, turning belly up with Discord looking rather worried over me. I could almost read his lips as he looked around, growing panic heavy in his face.

A distant buzz cut through the static of my broken hearing, "Oh dear, that...might have been my fault...I didn't know you could get sick from that...."

I laid my head back, looking off into the distance. I started mumbling as my body started to fall to fatigue, "Discord...fix the fucking portal...I'm just...gonna take a nap...." I closed my eyes, letting the massive amount of sudden fatigue overtake me.