Luna

Luna paced around me as her magic tore off the contraption around my lower body. "Your speech was a bit premature, no? I thought you--"

"Luna...I made a choice. I made said choice while walking there so it might not have been the best one, but it's been done." I rubbed my groin as the evil looking cage was pulled away. "Besides...I don't think I could have walked away if I hadn't said that."

Luna frowned hard. "You asked for my help, we could have taken time and--"

"And what? Luna...after what happened. The way I laid with her, the- the power I felt, the sick joy I took as she laid soft and weak before me. That wasn't love, maybe it started out trying to be love, but I- I did the same thing to it. I didn't let it in. I kept it surface, I treated her like everything else I blocked out and pushed away...and it's my fault."

Luna trotted around me. "We could have fixed--"

"After what I did, even if we could fix it I'd always have that doubt. That fear in the back of my mind that I'm just some concubine, one out of many, not something to be loved, something to be remembered fondly, but a toy to be used and discarded." I rubbed my head and pulled up my pants. "And I think it's better that way. That way I can leave, go back where I belong and let all of you get on with your lives."

Luna shook her head, "Our lives- Celestia and my own, have never been normal. You are hardly that odd or intrusive--"

"And what about me?" I got to my feet and walked up to her, "Luna...it's not fair to me either. It's not fair to let me get away with what I did, it's not fair to try and keep me someplace I obviously don't belong- I mean, if I stay here things are only going to get worse. I'm only going to think more, lash out more- back home...I'll have something to occupy my thoughts, something to keep me too distracted for thinking. And maybe...maybe I'll die doing something I care about. Maybe I'll die protecting the people I care about, not forced to scream at Innocent people just to keep from going mad."

Luna stared at me, her eyes starting to water, "Able, you don't have to--"

"I'm a creature of war, I'm a human being turned into a weapon. I'm something that has to be, something that gives other people like me a chance at being normal. I'll never have that shot, but maybe I can give someone else that life, the freedom to go where he wants, the freedom to stay quiet when they want, without having to worry about hearing voices or falling into that crippling depression." I reached out, hugging her and running my bandaged hand up and down her head. "...I was never going to be the perfect example of a human being...and I'm sorry I'm the first one you've met--"

"Able...the first of your kind I've met just gave a crowd of thousands a speech on self sacrifice." Luna nuzzled the back of my head, "A lesson we know, a lesson we wished we'd learned long ago. Acceptance...of who we are, what must be done- our limits...." She wrapped her forelegs around my back, "We know the thoughts that race through your mind, the fears of inadequacy, the want for power, the freedom and self determination. The want for recognition. But our handling of such matters forced us away for hundreds of years."

"Mine just tore my life to ribbons...no big dea--"

"We all chose our paths, and your words hurt much less than our destructive spree before our banishment. Your actions never destroyed a castle, your actions never harmed your kin--"

"Luna, I'm not the hero you're trying to make me out to be. I'm just not." I let her go, forced to push her away. "I'm not the bad guy...but I'm not the good guy either. I'm a necessary evil, and that choice will be in vain if I can't go back and finish what I started." I laughed grimly, "I mean I can't really be some famous martyr or hero with no war to fight, no lives to save, right?"

Luna nodded solemnly, "It is better to live and die for a cause...than to live in pointless monotony, letting the madness we fight against consume us, no?"

I stopped laughing, letting a soft frown sit on my face. "Luna...I think I might love you."

"I think you might love those that understand too easily."

"Probably right." I muttered, "...it's a nice hope thought. And hope is what keeps me going. Hope I'll have an impact, hope I'll find something worth dying for.... Well...I guess I better go find it." I hoisted my gear, turning to the door. "...Don't tell her I left. I don't think I could face her and still walk away."

Luna nodded heavily, looking me over. "Do you want me to tell her--"

"It's better if I just fade away. One little blip on the timeline, one meaningless and forgettable event. It'll be easier to move on that way." I rubbed my fingers, fighting the cold. "Tell her I'm sorry. I'm sure I should be sorry for something...I'll leave it up to her what I'm sorry for."

I hurried to the door, Discord waiting in the abandoned house down the street. "And Luna...." I turned around at the doorway, "...Thanks for teaching me to read...."