Reading Material

I sat on a pile of musty hay, the stench of raw sewage heavy from below the cut stone hole in the corner. I covered my nose with my forearms, curling up and trying to escape into my mind. Ponies had come by, forcibly drugging me to keep me docile and look me over.

I felt like death, and the mare, Celestia, had never returned. Seven days of unending madness slowly overtook my resolve. If I wasn't freed by tonight, if nothing changed, I would lean against the bars with my throat, and suffocate myself to death. I wanted freedom, and I would have it even if I had to die.

The familiar sound of the dungeon doors opening filled the hall. One set of steps, as opposed to the usual group. "Able?" Celestia's voice snapped me out of my stupor, "Able...?"

I stood slowly, reaching the door about the same time as she did. "Celestia...why...why am I still here!? It's been a week!"

Celestia's face grew worried, "Able, it's only been two days...."

I grabbed the bars, my mind reeling, "No...no no no, I- no!" I slammed the bars with my hands, "Two days!?"

Celestia nodded slowly, "I was coming by to check on you, make sure you were doing alright...."

I laid my head across the bars once again, bashing myself lightly against the iron, "I can't be in here anymore. I can't...they will kill me."

Celestia took a deep breath, "If I had my way I would let you out right now. But even I have to listen to my subjects at times." She levitated a book out of her regalia and slipped it through the bars, "I thought maybe this would help."

I took the book looking it over, "I can't read this...."

Celestia cocked her head, "Is Equestrian that different?"

I swallowed hard, looking at the English letters on the front page, "No...I, can't read this." I stuck the book through the bars and dropped it onto the stonework, "I can't read."

Celestia took a nervous step forward, picking up the book and putting it on her back, "Don't you, humans, have school?"

I grew a bitter expression, "The fuck is a school?" I adjusted my posture and looked her in the eyes, "Look, my dad didn't know, I don't know. Half of the island doesn't know. But I could shoot, I could fight and I could run. That's all that matters."

Celestia took a step back and pulled a dark grey key from her side, "You're serious?"

I stepped back, nodding slowly, "Reading is something for people that don't have to fight...for girls...."

Celestia jammed the key in the door and swung it open, stepping inside me cell, "Look me in the eyes and tell me you don't know how to read."

I stood tall against her, "I have no fucking idea."

Celestia bristled at my comment, "What kind of horrid place did you come from!? You- you complain about here, but no school, that cut on your hand, and I can see it in your eyes- how old are you?"

I ran my hand across my neck, "Twenty, I think? I lost track after a blizzard fucked up my timescale."

"That's it?"

I shook my head, my face falling to an utterly defeated expression, "I don't know what you were expecting...."

Celestia took a step back, stepping on a board the ponies had put down over the puddle, "But- you wear clothes, you speak, those are higher functions! How can you not tell time!?"

I just rubbed my eyes, "I don't know what you want me to say!"

"I want you to bucking explain what kind of bucked up world you live in!" She stomped her hoof hard, making the board crack in protest, "Now!"

"Why!?" I stood against her, "It's not like it matters now--"

"It matters to me." Celestia stated, staring me down, "Now you keep quiet." Celestia levitated a pair of shackles from a wall and clasped them around my forearms. "Come."

I felt myself yanked from the disgusting cell, nearly tripping on the broken stonework, "You letting me go?"

Celestia flicked her tail as we started up a set of stairs, "You know I can't do that."

"Of course not." I looked at the shackles binding my arms, "Why would you."

I lurched slowly forward, up a flight of stairs and into a pristine white room. Several armored ponies grew rather defensive as I tracked a disgusting slur over the room's floors. The ponies slowly grew mixed reactions as I lurched through the halls. Well dressed ponies giving me a sympathetic look for the first time since my arrival.

Pity, however degrading, was going to prove my greatest ally. And it only became more and more apparent as I was lead into a bare room, well cut stone and a pair of cushions lining the room. "Find a seat," Celestia commanded, "I'll find some water and a rag."

I looked around, the rectangular room adorn with large windows, low to the ground and covered by guards. It was a calm place, an indoor garden, but still enclosed. And even as I stood lazily I was mad dogged by guards and watched like a mouse by a roomful of hawks.

Celestia returned with a bucket and a towel. "Here, wash up and start talking." she levitated a cushion over and plopped down, "Start explaining."

I sat on the stone floor, taking the rag and washing off my feet, "Explaining what!? You never told me what the fuck you want!?"

Celestia grew a bit angry, "Stop yelling." her command bounced through my body, stopping my tongue mid stroke. "Fucking, that's a swear isn't it?"

I just looked down and shook my head in shame, "What else am I supposed to say?"

Celestia let out a deep sigh, "Something else? Something to describe your feelings, your emotions. You might not be able to read, but that doesn't mean your vocabulary has to suffer."

I finished washing the blackened muck off my feet, "I heard that word before, it means like...smart words, right?"

Celestia's frowned hardened, "...How do you not--"

"Look! I am not smart, I know I'm not. Back home, back in Can, I just...I shot things, people, animals, stuff. I don't have to use smart words! Worst I have to say is...distances and directions." I rolled up my pants and started washing my legs, "I don't know what you think I would do with words, but whatever it is, I don't do that."

Celestia just cocked her head, "I don't understand."

I rubbed my head, "See! I don't- I'm not good with words! I hate words!" I tossed the rag into the bucket and just stared at her, "Humans aren't smart anymore- or maybe they are, but I'm not!" I curled up, sitting before her, "Not like the ones before us. The ones that built what we live in, the ones that made the towns."

I looked up at her with a pitiful gaze, "My grandpa used to say, he used to say before things turned bad, we were everything. We were smart, we were strong, we ate, we were connected."

Celestia reached her hoof out, grading the top of my foot with her hoof, "Before what turned bad?"

I shook my head, "I don't know. Dad said it was years before I was around. Years before he was around. But grandpa...he used to.... He said things were fine, then things just went to shit, things exploded." I rolled my wrist, trying to jog my memory, "He said...twenty-thirty. He said things went bad after that."

"How long ago was that?"

I looked her dead in the eyes, a massive amount of shame filling my gut at my inability to answer, "I don't know."

Things got quiet as we sat across from each other, "I hate it." I stated, shifting my grip on my knees, "He used to tell stories of brave people, going up into space, into the black.... Then...he always stopped...he got sad.... His face, I hated that face he made."

Celestia removed her hoof, "...Were you ever safe?"

I swallowed hard and jammed my forehead against my knees, "Days at a time.... And it depends on if you keep moving."

A group of frilly ponies walked into the garden, "Princess, why is he--"

"Don't." she instructed. "Able, do you want to go back?"

I dug my hands against my legs hard, "I don't know. Do I have to go back in that cage?"

Celestia turned to the crowd, "All in favor?"

A small bustle of, ayes, filled the room.

"All opposed?"

Two nays.

Celestia turned to me with a heartbroken expression, "I'm afraid so."

I could feel myself start to cry, my fingers threatening to split my pantlegs open, "Then I think I'd rather go...."

Celestia stood up, facing the group of ponies, "I'll ask again. All in favor of returning the human to his cell?"

A slightly weaker, but still strong assortment of voices rang out.

"All opposed?"

Three nays.

"All abstaining?"

Two thuds rang from the floor.

Celestia walked to me, putting her foreleg around my back, "I'm sorry.... I'll make sure to send someone to keep you company."

I started shaking my head as I stood up. I turned to the crowd, "You...you are the reason I look like this.... This place is amazing...but you treat me like an animal...."

One of the noble ponies stepped forward, "You assaulted two ponies in the street!"

I snapped, stepping forward at her, "Five minutes before that I had someone try to slash my throat with a rusty shank! You try staying calm when you're lost and threatened you fucking bitch!" I felt myself tugged backwards, "Panic...I can understand.... But you've had time to calm down...time to think...." I was escorted past them by Celestia, staring at the mare who called me out. She looked stunned, mind reeling from my backlash.

And so once again I was left in my cell, the murky hell I called home. Time distorting and leaving me in a permanent state of limbo until the next visit.