To Fly Away

I know I don't know a lot about the world... I know I don't know a lot about other ponies, but I do know that I'm different...

My mommy won't look at me with a smile.  She never says anything nice to me, and she doesn't let me go outside.  She says there aren't any fillies for me to play with, but I know that's not right... I hear laughter all the time, just outside my boarded window.  It has to be other fillies, it just has to be!

But...  Mommy says if anypony saw me, they would hate me forever, and that it was best to keep me hidden in this beat up room, so that's where I've been for as long as I can remember.

Mommy says a lot of things about me... But I don't think she's right.  I wish that I could go to school, even though mommy says there isn't one around here.  I wish I could walk more than 16 and a half steps in one direction and not run into a wall.  I know because I count it, every day.  Every time I see little dusty beams of light though the tiny holes in my blocked window, I count, and hope that there will be just another step, so I could have a little more space in my small room to dream.

I want to leave and never look back, but I can't.  If I could fly, I would... But you see, I can't do that either.

Mommy's a Pegasus, and I think daddy is too, but I still can't.  I'll never be able to fly, because... I was born with only one wing.  Mommy says that it's my curse, and she won't let me give it to other ponies by being there... But I think if I was just given the chance to go outside and make things right... I could prove mommy wrong.  Maybe someone could even give me a second wing.

But even with all of that, I manage have fun.  Mommy lets me keep a stuffed animal to play with.  He's my only friend right now, but if I was able to make Smarts like me, I'm sure I could make others too.  He was a friendly stuffed Pegasus, and he always made me feel better when I felt really sad.  He only has one wing too, and funny enough, it was the one I was missing.  He hates it here as much as I do...

Every time I wake up, I check to see if my door is unlocked.  Maybe one day it will be open, and I can go outside... But the knob never turns.  When I think mommy's gone, I try to shake it, and maybe the door would open, but it doesn't.  So I just sit in my 16 and a half step room, on my dirty, stiff bed, staring at the same, dusty walls.  Hoping.

Maybe one day, I can fly away from this place.

Well, that one day came.  One day, just like I had hoped, the knob on my door finally fell through the wood of the door.  It clattered loudly on the other side.  I thought for sure mommy would come up and spank me, or beat me for trying to escape, but when no one showed up, I realized she mustn't have been home.  This was my chance for freedom.  I could finally see the outside world.

I opened my bedroom door and walked slowly and quietly to the start of the dark, grey hallway.  I had seen this room before, but only for short times when mommy would open the door to throw food inside, or toss a thin, plastic bottle of water.  I always wanted to look at it closer, and now I was finally able to.  Just the freedom of being able to walk more than 16 and a half paces made my heart tingle with excitement... and my skin crawl with fear.  What if mommy came home?  What if she's just waiting to see if I leave?  I tried to tighten my grip around Smarts, but when I realized I wasn't holding anything, a chill went down my spine.  Should I go get him?  He's been waiting to leave as long as I have... And I promised him that if I ever made it out, I'd take him with me.  I had to. I couldn't leave my only friend inside.  I bit my lip and shuffled quickly back inside.  Smarts was in his usual spot under the bed.  He liked it there.

I quickly grabbed him with my teeth and ran back out the door, only to be faced with the long, dark hallway once again.

"Whoa, hey!" said Smarts as I roused him from his sleep."

"Today's the day, Smarts!  The door opened!" I said in a loud whisper, just in case mommy was around.

"For real?!" Smarts said, awe in his voice.

"For real!" I answered, before stepping back outside, and freezing on the spot.  Smarts noticed my pause and spoke up.

"C'mon!  We need to hurry!  This might be our only chance to see outside!" said Smarts anxiously

"I know!  But it's so dark... It's scary," I said to him, a few tears welling in my eyes.

"I know it's scary," said Smarts, calming me down.  "But you can do it.  We can do it.  Everything's alright as long as we've got each other.  Together, we make a full Pegasus, right?"

I nodded at Smarts, wiping a small tear as it fell from my eye.

"Remember how you'd say you would be brave?  If we ever got this chance?"

I nodded again, letting Smart's words calm me down.

"Well, now's the time to be brave.  Together now."

I swallowed a dry gulp and closed my eyes.  I exhaled deeply, before lifting my leg and taking the first step.

"Creak!"

The floor in the hallway made a lot of noise.  I could always tell when I was going to get food when I'd hear these exact same creaks.

"Creak!"

I looked ahead at the darkening hallway.  My room was always really dark at night, but something about this darkness stared back... It made me nervous with every step I took forward.

"Creak"

I let out a shaky, frightened breath.  My skin felt cold and numb, and my mind was racing with every terrible idea it could think of.  I could swear that I saw eyes in the darkness, they were staring at me.  I know they are.  They're looking at me now.  Just looking.

"Creak!"

I stopped directly in my tracks, and Smarts gave me a worried look.  "W-why'd you stop?" He asked, slightly frightened at my hesitation.

"I can't do this, Smarts!  I'm scared!" I said softly, my voice trailing off to a sob.  I could feel the hot tears as they grew in the corners of my eyes.  Those eyes stared at me, never blinking.

"Yes you can!  I know it's scary, and I know you're unsure, but I know you can do it!"

I swallowed hard and took another step forward.

"Creak!"

I was moving too slow.  Every step I took, the hallway seemed to stretch twice that far away from me.  I would never get there.

But I had to.  I had to get out of here.

"Ok Smarts... I'm gonna be brave!"

"There's the filly I know!"

"I'm... I'm going to run!  I'm going to run as fast as I can, okay?"

I bent down, facing the darkness with a scared face and shaking muscles.  Finally, I took a deep, shaky breath and ran as fast as I could.

Suddenly, the darkness was all around me, like a shadowy ocean that someone kept forcing me under.  I felt my heart beat around in my chest, faster than the squeaking floorboards underneath me.  My skin felt so cold, that I thought I was going to just freeze in place...

But I didn't.  I kept running.  My legs kept going, and the floor kept making noises.  The longer I stayed in the darkness, the more I could see, and I made out the next door, just in time to stop.  Suddenly, I had a heartbreaking thought.  What if this door was locked?  Oh no... Then it would all be for nothing... All of this fear and effort... And Smarts and I wouldn't be free...

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" asked Smarts in a worried tone.

I couldn't answer him.  My eyes were fixed on the knob.  Would it turn?  Please... Please let it turn...

I reached out a small, dull brown hoof.  Slowly, I drew closer to the brass knob, my mind not wanting to try and turn it, for fear that it might just be locked.

"We'll never know unless we try... C'mon.  We have to try." said Smarts.  "If you don't do it, we'll spend whoever knows how long back in that room... And that whole time, you'll wonder... Was it unlocked?  Could we have been free?" I felt Smarts put a hand on my shoulder.  "But we have to try.  I know it'll be unlocked.  All you have to do is open it," he said with a happy, encouraging tone.

"How do you know, Smarts?' I said, frightened.

"Because I know.  They don't call me Smarts for nothing," he said happily.  "Now lets go.  The outside awaits."

My hoof made contact with the door, and I turned it slowly.  Smooth so far.  It was a rusty old knob, and I could feel small bumps and clatters as the inner workings struggled along.  The door turned all the way, before the heavy wooden door, squeaked open, and my eyes were assaulted by a huge light.

I was outside.