Light Grows Dim

7:58

In about two minutes, this particular day of the year would start as it always did, I noted glumly and averted my eyes from the clock. The old wooden thing with countless scratches on its surface was such an eyesore for me. Being the unlucky one, I had to sleep in the middle, the damn thing hanging right on the wall against my bed. I leered at my earth pony roommate, Irma, one of my friends in this place I call home.

Home… Some said that only the most unlucky of ponies would call Celestial Light Orphanage home. Did I consider myself unlucky? Ha, hell no!

When the waking bell started to ring, everypony would throw away their blankets and rush out of the rooms with reckless abandon, to see what they’d gotten for Hearths Warming.

7:59

Frankly, no one actually got anything great, since, well, we were orphans. All we could hope for was for a generous soul to gift something to the orphanage, or, in rare cases, to particular foals they’d grown to like.

Any normal kid would probably pity us, but for most foals here, it was like a gift from Celestia herself.

7:59:30

I noticed Irma stirring and grabbing the blanket that covered her. I chuckled and she turned her head to me and pierced me with an icy glance for reasons I couldn’t tell and couldn’t possibly care less for.

“Scootaloo, how many times I told you not to stare at me while I sleep! It creeps me the hell out!” she angrily whispered. Jeez, what a weepie! Like watching her sleep was some kind of a crime.

“Sorry, Irma, I just can’t resist looking at your—” The waking bell interrupted my supposed compliment. “Whoops, gotta go! See ya at breakfast!”

I escaped my bed swiftly, hoping to find a good hiding spot before the room was filled with stampeding ponies, eager to get their presents. Irma followed me with a confused glance, raising her eyebrow, and I replied with a sly grin, shutting the bathroom door right before the orphanage echoed with the sounds of dozens of hooves. I blocked the door with my body, as if anypony was going to break through it, and listened.

So many sounds, so many voices. At times, I wondered if other ponies learned to breed by gemmation, and each day, there seemed to be three or two new foals to be introduced into our big, happy family.

Finally, the stampede was over, and the room was quiet once more. I walked away from the door, realizing that I was all alone now in this part of the building.

Well, at least I got to brush first, which meant I wouldn’t have to clean the sink afterwards, thankfully; as nice as Marisa was, she was just unable to not sully everything with toothpaste.

I looked into the mirror of the bath. Well, it’d be quite generous to call it that, considering that it only consisted of a mirror, a small sink, some cupboards and hooks, to store towels and other goods related to dental hygene.

As I fiddled around with the tube of toothpaste, I couldn’t help but grin at how awesome this day was going to be. Sure, I didn’t get anything graspable for Hearts Warming—I never did, hence I didn’t run down like the others—but instead I would be spending the today’s entire afternoon with the most radical pony in Ponyville, Rainbow Dash!

I just couldn’t believe my own ears when she promised that she would spend this Hearts Warming with me! It was something I had dreamt about since I saw her, since I became her number one fan. To spend a whole afternoon with the most awesome pony in the history of Equestria… no, scratch that, the history of galaxy!

While my toothbrush worked its magic against the most vicious enemy known to ponykind, bad morning breath, I couldn’t help but strike some cool poses for myself in front of the mirror. When I was done and spat out, I ran my hoof through my hair, to make sure it was as tousled as it was supposed to be, and flashed a winning smile and pumped a hooves-up to my mirror-self.

“Another day to be tackled by who?” I struck another pose. “Scootaloo!”

My mirror-self didn’t respond and just seemed like it wanted to show me how dumb I looked like this, so I stopped right there before somepony came in and saw me—not that I reckoned with that.

Making sure I made my bed in a way that would not show any creases and crinkles, I left the room and made my way to the canteen. It was an old room and it hadn’t changed even a bit since I could remember it, but it did its job. There weren’t many kids here yet, they were likely still playing—or envying—the things they’d had under the tree. I straightened up a bit to be able to look over the tables and spotted the sunflower yellow mane of Marisa in the waiting queue with a tray balanced on her back. I hastily dashed and grabbed myself one as well, since I didn’t want someone mean to get into the queue before me.

“G’morning, Scoots,” Marisa greeted me when I approached the food distribution and poked her flank to get her attention.

“Hiya,” I chirped while I balanced the tray between my wings, because I needed to spend some energy.

“Well, that’s new,” she chuckled, “you’re normally glum the whole Hearts Warming holiday. Did you get something?”

The tray lost its balance on my back, fell on the ground and broke asunder. Grinning sheepishly, I kicked it under a nearby table before I got a new one and said: “No, I got something waaay better!” I proclaimed with all the vigour of a puppy who’d gotten a treat. I assumed a regal pose. “I will be spending the day with Ponyville’s most awesomest pony!”

Marisa turned around a tilted her head. “Who, now? Whoops!” She gasped when something fell out of her mane and onto the floor, a jasmine coloured feather. She hastily grabbed it and put it back behind her left ear, I noted.

“Rainbow Dash, of course!” I said somewhat hurt. How could somepony not know Rainbow Dash? “She promised she’d be spending the day with me! Isn’t that awesome!” I grinned eagerly at the older foal, and she smiled at me and tousled my mane with a hoof.

“Ah, yes, that Rainbow Dash.” She clearly lied about knowing her, but I didn’t call her out on it. “So, you’ll be out the whole day? That’s fantastic.” She moved along the queue until it was her turn to order what she wanted of the two offered meals. There were two today! “I’d like the carrot salad with lettuce and a muffin as dessert, Sir.”

The sickly looking pony behind the counter just nodded and dumped the ordered meal onto a platter and gave it to her. Despite the pony’s impolite behaviour, she thanked him, took her muffin off a tray on the counter, and waited for me to get my share.

I looked up to the sign that read which dishes were being served today: said carrot salad, or a warm vegetable soup with a dessert, which was either a chocolate muffin or a small ice cone. I took the vegetable soup, since I wasn’t too much of a fan of salads; it always seemed as if I’d be chewing leaves.

Just like before, the pony behind the counter didn’t answer and just dumped the soup into a bowel, which he hoofed over to me. While he was busy with the foal behind me, I silently took three more muffins off the tray and hid them under a couple of napkins.

Marisa seemed to have found herself a seat on a nearly empty table, only a frail looking unicorn of nearly white colours of both mane and coat sat there silently and nibbled on a muffin. I approached it and found Marisa in a silent conversation with the sickly unicorn.

“...need to speak to the educators about this,” I heard her say silently to the foal, who seemed nigh unto tears, I now noticed.

“But... when he finds out I called him out again, he will—“ A small sob interrupted him, “—he will...” He trailed off as the fur under his eyes became a darker shade with his tears straining it.

Not quite knowing how to approach this, I sat down silently on a seat across the table from Marisa, who was letting the young unicorn cry in her hooves. “Hey,” I began, feeling awkward, “what’s wrong with him?”

She turned to me and I could see she was boiling on the inside. Whatever had happened to the foal, it made her angry. “Somepony stole Winter Solace’s neckerchief and his warden is nowhere to be found! I swear, when I find this worthless piece of—“ She stopped right before she’d drop something harsh in presence of a child. “—I need to speak to him. He’s neglecting his job!”

I scratched my head and started spooning my soup slowly. “But it’s just a neckerchief. If it’s so important for Winter to have one, I—“

“It was his mother’s.”

“Oh,” was everything I brought out after that. Stupid, Scootaloo. Think before you open your mouth! The rest of my meal went down in silence, only Marisa sometimes cooed soothing words to the young unicorn in her hooves, sometimes wiping away his tears with a napkin. She might not be the most clean of ponies when it came to householding, but she had a talent with children and couldn’t stand seeing them hurt. Perhaps her bleeding heart was the reason why everypony liked her.

About halfway through my soup, the sobbing had stopped and Marisa was now slowly swaying the sleeping foal in her hooves.

“I didn’t know you had a coltfriend, Marisa. Whose feather is that?” I asked just to get a conversation going.

She turned red. “Oh, it isn’t from my coltfriend, I don’t even have one. Do you remember where I’d be working from time to time for some bits?” she whispered to not disturb Winter Solace’s sleep.

I thought for a moment. “Yes, didn’t you say you’d be working for a weather mare from time to time? What was her name? Raindrops? What do you do for her?”

She took her fork in one hoof and started eating her food. “Well, as I said: she’s a weather mare, which means she gotta do night shifts as well from time to time. When that’s the case, I tend to the chores of her house—dusting off and everything—so she doesn’t have to do it when she comes back.”

I nodded, just now noticing that none of us had gotten a drink when we ordered. What a dipshit behind the counter! “She’s letting you into her house while she’s away? Isn’t that, no offence, somewhat risky for her?”

“Yes, she didn’t let me do it at the start, but over the months, she’s grown to like me, and she trusts me enough for this. She’s working really hard and she said that... she considers adopting me.” She spoke the last phrase as if she couldn’t comprehend what she’d just said. I knew why: the older foals were less likely to be adopted that the young ones. It was almost a miracle that somepony was interested in her.

“I see,” I began, “so she gave you the feather afterwards, right? Do you know what this means?” I asked, grinning at the prospect to explain some pegasus culture to the earth pony.

She shook her head.

“It normally is a gesture between to pegasus lovers to exchange two of the outer feathers with each other to show their respect and affection for each other.” I made a dramatic pause for all the misinterpretations to sink in before I continued. “It comes from an old pegasus tradition. You see, back in the day, the pegasi didn’t all speak the same language and needed a way to discern which foal belonged to which mother. So, pegasus mothers would always place one of their feathers in their foal’s mane when they weren’t around. That way, when one found a lost child, one would just need to find a mare of the same colour as the feather and you had the mother.”

“That’s… nice… But why are you telling me this? And where did you get all this stuff?” She titled her head.

I laughed a little. “Because the fact that she gave you one of her feathers is basically telling every pegasus that sees you with her: That’s my foal.” I fixed my imaginary glasses with a quick swoop of a hoof. “You definitely need to visit Twilight’s library more often. It has some interesting stuff!”

She seemed at a loss for words, so I made some funny faces before her to make her laugh; it was better than silence.

“You’re impossible, Scootaloo, you know that?” she joked, but turned glum directly after; it was a bit jarring to see. “But me leaving means that there’s no one looking after the small ones when they come here, y’know, when it’s hardest for them.”

I understood her completely. Most of the orphans came here at a young age and didn’t quite want to realize that they no longer had parents. I had seen it before, the void in their eyes, so unfitting for the foal they’d belong to.

I slid off my seat and hugged Marisa, or tried to, at least—she was way bigger. “Perhaps you can visit us. Who knows, perhaps you will be working at a place like this when you grow up, just like Miss Tenderheart! Wouldn’t that be awesome?!”

She patted my head in return, since, well, her other hoof was still occupied. “A great idea, my little Wonderbolt. Now, I think I need to take Winter to her room. I’ll be back soon.” She stood up.

“Oh, no. I’m done.” I glanced at the clock, 9:49 AM. This had taken quite the while. I wasn’t supposed to meet with Rainbow before 13:00 PM, though, so it was no problem. “I think it’ll head out and see if Apple Bloom or Sweetie Belle got some time.”

“Have fun out there, Scootie!” she said, smiling at me, carefully placed the sleepy unicorn on her back and trotted away into the living quarters.

I sprung up from my seat and dashed to the exit, leaving the dirty tableware. Irma would handle that, I figured, that’s what you get for being late for breakfast.

Finally, after traversing the seemingly endless corridors of the orphanage, I stormed out of the main entrance and sniffed in the delightfully chilly air of winter. The cold wind bit my ears a bit, but I didn’t feel that at all, because cool ponies never felt cold!

The sun was already in the sky shining brightly, which made the snow impossible to look at. Once my eyes adapted to the blinding light, I started slowly walking down the stairs, measuring each step in order not to slip and fall.

Funnily enough, the stairs were cleared of snow, leaving only ice to cover the stone. Our janitor obviously didn’t know how to do his job properly, obviously, that dumb bastard. Always wearing glasses, that egg-headed unicorn would rather spend his life away in books, than actually doing something related to his job. I barely avoided slipping and falling flat on my ass: thankfully, the hoofrail to the side wasn’t that hard to reach.

“Coming through!” I shouted at the guard, who was peacefully snoring in his booth. He quickly woke up, looked around and ran outside.

“Oh, hi Scoots!” he greeted me. I slowed down right in front of him, kicking up a wave of snow, which covered him from the top of his blue hat to the tips of his hooves.

“Good morning, Sharpie!” I said nonchalantly, giggling a little as he opened his eyes. He seriously looked like a snowpony, but without a carrot as nose.

“Good morning indeed,” Sharpie replied sarcastically, shaking the snow off of him. “You’re awfully early today, y’know. I could have used some extra sleep!”

The earth pony stretched out his forelegs and yawned loudly.

“It’s Hearths Warming today, Sharpie. C’mon, lemme through, my time schedule’s pretty tight today,” I said, starting to prance a little to preserve the warmth. Sharpie yawned once again and rubbed his big belly.

“Ah, the young—never got the time to talk, always on the run,” he mused, approaching the iron gates and inserting the keys. “But remember, Scoots—”

“Yeah, yeah, I have to be here before midnight, I know! Open the gates already!”

He sighed wearily and finally opened the path. Before Sharpie noticed anything, I slipped between him and the iron caging and found myself outside of the orphanage.

I trotted on the path towards our treehouse, the sounds of the shutting gates guiding me into the big world. Now, my only companions were the wind, the cold, and the trees around me.

I felt weird admitting it, but I loved being alone in the ‘wilderness’. Not that I was this weirdo loner type of pony, no: I just valued the time I spent alone with myself. It gave me time to think about all kinds of stuff. But at that time, all my thoughts were occupied by Rainbow Dash and our upcoming super awesome afternoon together.

I didn’t know exactly what Rainbow Dash would come up with—with such an amazing pony like her, you could expect anything, but you always knew it was going to be good. However, it didn’t matter for me if she was going to teach me how to fly, take me for an awesome adventure to the Everfree Forest, or just simply hang out, have some drinks and listen to the tales of her awesomeness: all of it was equally cool.

I couldn’t help but smirk, imagining the faces of Sweetie and Bloom when they find out what I got for this Hearths Warming. They’d turn green from envy, no doubt!

***

“Sweetie! Apple Bloom! You there?” I hollered, climbing up the stairs of our treehouse. In reply, I heard only the whistling of the wind.

It seemed I was the first to arrive at our pre-Hearths Warming meeting. Usual deal: Sweetie and Bloom had such beautiful houses, you could stay in bed for days. I swear, I would kill for a bed such as Sweetie’s. Every time I see it, I shiver, remembering how chilly the wind was when it swooped under my thin blanket and bit my ankles. And there was no way to avoid it, either. I tried asking for another blanket, or even a simple coverlet, but I got nothing.

I entered the tree house and felt myself at home; this place, be it as small as it may, felt so pleasing. I walked towards the stand right up ahead of me and felt pride, as every board of this house had some of my own sweat and blood embedded in it. The house that we built—me included. I had every right to feel great when being here.

Though, it wasn’t quite as fun with nopony around. I sat down on the hoofchair and relaxed; hopefully, the other Crusaders should arrive soon, and I wouldn’t have to wait for too long. If I were late for my meeting with Rainbow, I’d make sure those two’d have the worst Hearths Warming of their lives.

I closed my eyes and made myself comfortable in the hoofchair. They were going to arrive anyway, what was so bad in getting some short shut-eye? I wasn’t going to miss my meeting with Dash anyway; I had a special enzyme in my body, especially produced on the occasions when I needed either to meet my idol, see her show, or just drop by her house. It never let me down before.

“Tee-hee…” I heard a muffled giggle and opened my eyes. Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom were standing right in front of me, looking strangely entertained.

“Oh, finally! I’ve been waiting for you guys like foreve—” The instant I tried to get up I tripped over the edge of the pelvis, which hadn’t been there before, and planted my face into the floor.

The only sound that was louder than the sound of me testing how sturdy the ground was, was the sound of Bloom and Bell laughing. I opened my left eye and graced them with a smouldering look.

“Ha-ha, how very funny.” I deadpanned, not hiding my dissatisfaction. “So, whose bright idea was it?”

I loved my friends. I really did. But at times, I had to fight my inner devil in order not to spill out my colourful vocabulary onto them. For my young age, I believed I could cuss better than a salty sailor.

I got up, while they continued to snicker. Of course, my question wasn’t answered, but I wasn’t expecting an answer anyway.

“Sorry, Scootaloo, we are a little late. Rarity didn’t let me go without wrapping half of her scarves around me.” Sweetie Belle said, swiping the snow off a scarf of soft olive colour. “I told her so many times: it’s not cold outside! But did she listen? Nope!”

Sweetie huffed angrily and threw several scarves onto the floor. “She never listens to me! And what I am supposed to do with these?” I took a closer look, and felt a little chilly; those scarves looked so puffy, made with such care and love. Rarity was all over them; she always was so careful and tender with her needlework. Everything inside me urged me to take these scarves for myself.

“Nah, mah sister’s best! She only made me wear this!” Apple Bloom exclaimed excitedly and jumped around, showcasing her new sweater—Striped green and red; that was such a strange colour scheme. On its side, right on Apple Bloom’s belly, it had a picture of three red apples. “It’s mah Hearts Warming gift!”

“Wow, Apple Bloom, it looks awesome!” I said, completely honest. Applejack seemed to really love Apple Bloom… so much, in fact, that she always wanted Bloom to bear her cutie mark upon her chest—so adorable.

I envied Apple Bloom. Now, I wanted myself a sweater too—only with Rainbow Dash’s mark. I would never take it off, not even when I’d go to sleep!

“Did you get your present?” Sweetie asked, turning to me and smiling. Not quite sure of the best way to reply, I felt a slight blush on my cheeks and put up an awkward smile.

“Ehm… nothing for now… But, I will certainly get the most awesome present ever!” I said, licking my dry lips. “Believe it or not, but I got a date with the most awesome pony in the entire world!”

I couldn’t withhold my excitement and started jumping in place, flapping my wings. Immature? Maybe, but I was happy, and it was all that mattered.

“Oh, terrific!” Sweetie Belle exclaimed, smiling at me. “I’m so happy for you!”

Then, she actually approached me and gave me a friendly hug. Never expecting such an outburst of feelings, I wanted to push her away gently, since cool ponies didn’t like all these huggy-wuggies.

“You two look so cute! Ah wanna in too!” Apple Bloom cried, and joined in the group hug. Her sweater tickled me; the fiber was a little scratchy, clearly hoofmade—Granny Smith, I assumed.

“Okay, okay, I love you too, guys… just don’t squish me!” I exclaimed, gently pushing them away from me. They backed away, still displaying their bright smiles.

“So, what are we going to do? I assume there’s still some time ‘fore your meeting with Rainbow; we might as well do some Cutie Mark Crusadin’.” Apple Bloom said, approached the cupboard near the wall and withdrew a roll of paper. “Let’s see what we haven’t tried yet.”

She unrolled the scroll, which was actually a giant checklist. Even Twilight had never seen anything as huge as this, I snickered. I couldn’t clearly remember, but Sweetie Belle killed at least three bottles of ink to write this thing. At times, I was impressed with her perseverance.

“Cutie Mark in swimming… Done that… Cutie Mark in tinkering… Done that… Cutie Mark in world conquering… Done that,” Sweetie read, and I snickered, remembering that time when we declared ourselves the Queens of the Universe. Then, we fought amongst ourselves who would get the whole universe, so out plan for world domination didn’t work out. “Hey, how about Cutie Mark in gardening? We’ve never done that before!”

“Great idea, Sweetie Belle!” Apple Bloom shouted, jumping in place. I think she just remembered that she’d have a chance of getting an apple related cutie mark that way.

“Yes, sure, ignore the fact that it’s winter,” I chirped as though speaking of the weather, which I technically did. Sweetie grumbled and threw the check list back into the cupboard. “I have no ideas. Sorry, team!”

“So... what’re we goin’ to do?” Apple Bloom asked, sounding disappointed. I let out a loud yawn.

“I don’t know about you, but I’ll be off to our meeting place. Rainbow will surely arrive soon. I can’t disappoint her by being second!” I said, flexing my neck and preparing for another walk through the snow. The rest of the Cutie Mark Crusaders looked disappointed for a moment, but quickly brightened up.

“Ah’ll go help Granny bakin’ pies,” Apple Bloom made her way to the door. Sweetie looked at me with a questionable glance.

“Scootaloo, won’t you catch a cold running around like this?” she asked softly. “You can take one of my scarves, if you want.”

“Hah, thanks, mo—” I shut myself up, knowing that this was a topic I ought to be silent about. “Thanks, Sweetie.”

Even though having a scarf wasn’t really the cool-pony-way, I still accepted her gift. Besides, I always thought I looked more awesome with something fluttering in the wind behind me when I’d finally fly—beautiful, just beautiful.

I chose the blue scarf with white dots; it reminded me of the sky, the sky that I would conquer in the future, as Rainbow Dash’s sidekick. My wings might not look strong enough, but soon, they would carry me into the blue.

“You’re welcome! So, Cutie Mark Crusaders’ meeting is officially over?” Belle asked, and I and Bloom nodded affirmatively. “Good. Then, see you tomorrow, everypony! Have a nice Hearths Warming!”

***

I tapped on the beech several times and listened as the knocks echoed through the air. It was so quiet, so peaceful. Too bad I arrived.

“Ha! Ha-ha! Take this!” I practiced my fighting skills on the tree, delivering one punch after another. A good flyer was good in any regard, be that flying, fighting, jogging or whatever. It didn’t matter what I and Rainbow Dash were going to do; I was going to do my best.

Hell, I bet I could even do better than Rainbow Dash in some regards. She would be astonished, and, of course, would definitely speak for me when the time would come where I attended the Wonderbolt audition.

I jumped away from the tree and flexed my muscles, commending my terrific performance. Perfecting my fighting skills on this tree would entertain me long enough for Dash to arrive, and then, we’d have some real fun!

I spread my wings and tried flapping them a bit. They looked good today; it was certainly a good decision to clean them once in a while. Marisa helped a lot, too.

While jogging around the tree, my thoughts suddenly got stuck on Marisa. She was one of my first friends in the orphanage, if I could say so; we grew up together. I remembered my first day at the Celestial Light: everypony had looked so glum and silent. Not even a single foal had approached me and said ‘hello’. She did. She always greeted new kids. She had this talent of seeing the void in other’s hearts. For the foals who lost their parents, that void had to be filled ASAP.

I didn’t need any help. The void had never been a problem for me—I never actually had a family. Heck, I barely knew my mother. All I know about her is that she had died three days after giving birth. That’s what the doctors told me, when I was… six years, I think. They were quite stupid, those docs. Good thing I didn’t understood what ‘cardiac failure’ meant at that age.

My father was a mysterious figure. I didn’t know anything about him—nopony did. Even when the landlords had shoved my and mom’s things into my hooves, I hadn’t found any evidence of him, not a single photo or diaries, nothing. Now, at times, when I felt shitty, I wonder if I even was a wanted child; mom might’ve been a lie-about-mare or… something bad happened.

Marisa always asked me about my family, wanted me to tell her how I remember them. So what ought I tell her? I just avoided the conversation. But that damn earth pony would never lie off, never fall back until I’d relent. And I loved her for it.

I should probably get a present for her, too. I didn’t have too many ideas, but maybe she would be satisfied with a huge cake.

A quiet snicker escaped my mouth when I jumped over a snow bank. A thought flashed through my head: would Marisa allow me to drink on her 18th birthday? That would be cool, though, Rainbow Dash had always told me that cool ponies never had addictions; I just wanted to try a sip. Beer, wine, vodka—didn’t matter. I just wanted to try some and then forget about it.

I stopped, kicking up a pile of snow and barely keeping my balance. That speed was great. I gotta remember it; maybe it would give me enough updraft for a nice take-off.

2 PM.

I was quite surprised. Rainbow was late—that was something new! She was supposed to be here by 13:00 flat, but…

This was weird. After estimating the time by the position of the sun, I approached the beaten tree, tightened the scarf around my neck a little more and sat down into the snow. A spasm quickly shot up my backside, but soon, I got used to the cold and just sat there, looking around. This was strange, but maybe Dash was busy saving Equestria and all that. Otherwise she would be here already.

I relaxed, realizing I was worrying for naught. Nothing bad happened, just another disaster in some Celestia-forgotten corner of Equestria. Besides, maybe that would actually be a benefit—I could train some more! I would be able to perform at my best when she’d actually arrive. Yes, another circle round the tree, here we go!

“What’s taking her so bloody long?!” I shouted into nothingness. My hooves hurt, my entire body was covered in sweat, and every time the wind blew, I felt a chill run down my spine.

To say that I was distressed was an understatement. But really, it was already 5 PM! What the serious hell?

Talking to myself was the most tame thing I wanted to do right now. Whatever was taking her so long needed to die immediately. That stupid villain or a stupid lesson needed to be ended, so she could come to me! She promised!

“Urgh,” I grumbled under my nose and looked at the tree. It looked quite climbable. Maybe…

A crazy idea came to mind: climb the tree and sit there. My ass was getting frozen from this snow, and jogging didn’t help anymore. I needed some more activity, and this seemed like a good thing to do. Hah, maybe Rainbow would arrive and see me on the top of the tree. She would be amazed.

I just had to remember one thing: no wings. Not that I was careless, but still, anything could happen. I carefully put my hooves on the tiny protrusions on the surface of the trunk, slowly making my way up. I was quite a good climber, as it turned out. Maybe I could earn my cutie mark as an alpinist.

Definitely should add this to the list. The girls would be so excited! We could, maybe, get some climbing equipment and climb the mountain upon which the dragon had lived. That would be kick-ass!

The tree felt conquered as I stood upon it as I would upon a corpse of a freshly slain dragon. I really felt great when a breeze set my scarf in motion and ruined my manestyle. This was something new and refreshing.

“Woo-hoo!” I let out a loud scream, letting the whole world know how I felt.

The accomplishment made me feel a little better. After all, I was one step closer to my goal, closer to the sky.

I couldn’t wait to fly. I know it was going happen—better sooner than later.

The sun was long gone, and the moon had taken over the sky. Thousands of stars, like spilt milk on a black cloth, were sparkling in the distance. I sucked at metaphors.

I felt frozen, abandoned and alone. It was around 1 AM, I assumed, and Rainbow Dash hadn’t shown up. I didn’t know how to feel. I didn’t know what to think, even. I’ve been waiting for so long… so long. Everypony at the orphanage was probably worried…

I refused. I just refused to believe she wouldn’t come… but I ran out of explanations. Whatever held her back from coming, I… I just had no idea what it was. Why? Why didn’t she come? Where was she?!

I rose, gritting my teeth, refusing to believe my own thoughts. No, she would come, and we would have fun! I just needed to wait, it was a test!

Yes, a test of loyalty: a true friend would always wait for you, even if it’d take all the time in the universe. I had to pass this test. I couldn’t disappoint Rainbow Dash! I was her number one fan. She promised, so she would come, eventually, but she would come—I knew that for sure.

And yet, the doubt in my heart wouldn’t just let me be. They kept eating away at my thoughts, poisoning the good image of Rainbow Dash. What if she forgot? What if she had a bigger number one fan? What if she was never going to come?

Bullcrap, I assured myself. She was the bestest and coolest pony in the world; cool ponies never betrayed their friends! She said that herself!

My stomach rumbled, as I hadn’t even eaten since breakfast. With pain and regret in my heart I remembered the three ‘borrowed’ muffins. What an idiot, Scoots, you just left them to Irma! How stupid are you?

Grr, I couldn’t stand this stillness. It was like the whole world was waiting for something, but that wasn’t fucking helpful! Instead of giving me a clue—rustling of branches, distant flaps of her wings—anything would be more helpful than fucking nothing!

Calm down, Scoots, just calm down. There was no need to swear that much. Nothing bad was happening. She just was a little late.

“A little late? Yeah, no, fuck off!” I cussed at myself out loud. A little late? More like super fucking late.

The wind blew once more, a little stronger than usual. The tree wasn’t too thick, so several branches were swinging harder than others. One of them started poking me right in the face.

I swung my hoof at it, hoping that it would break and leave me alone, but instead, it buckled under the pressure and just slashed me across the face, leaving a burning pain and the feeling of hot liquid trailing down my cheek.

I didn’t know what happened to me then. I just… blew up.

“Argh, you fucking piece of shit! What the fuck?!” I growled, stood up on my branch and ferociously struck the opposing branch, hoping to snap it in half.

This branch embodied all of it: this damn cold, this fucking motionless world. Whatever was holding Rainbow Dash from coming to me was in this branch as well, and I was going to murder it!

I growled further insults at the inanimate object, swinging both of my hooves in its direction this time, but the branch just wouldn’t break. It only continued to poke me in the face.

It just so happened that a little drop of my blood flowed into my mouth. I didn’t notice it at first, among the sweat, but that metallic, salty taste was unmistakable.

I yelled at the top of my lungs and hit the branch once more, putting all the frustration I built up into my effort. At last, it gave away, and my ears were greeted with the sweet sound of the cracking wood.

I swear, I could fucking orgasm to that sound. After all the hours I’d spent here, just hearing some action, some motion, felt like a blessing. The sound continued to resonate in my ears, filling my heart with such pleasure that I could barely hold my feelings.

I let out a relieved moan, and sat down on the branch. My brain continued to play the cracking in my mind over and over again, making me feel better and better. Though, at times, that sound felt just too real and too loud.

Suddenly, I felt my ‘ground’ give away. Had I not instinctively spread my wings for balance, I would’ve already been falling. The branch I was sitting on snapped and plummeted down into the ground, along with me.

I quickly flapped my wings, using all my inner reserves that hadn’t been wasted on my training earlier to keep myself afloat. For a moment, the fall stopped. I was hanging above the ground, hovering, every careless movement threatening to break my ‘flight’ and send me into the ground.

“Whew…” I sighed with relief and tried turning, hoping to reach another branch before I’d get tired and fall. But at least the crisis was averted.

And yet again, my tongue was my enemy, as were my wings: I felt them get weaker and cease working before I could reach the branch.

Getting closer to the tree had been a bad idea, as I reached out for something to hold on and stop my fall. The little protrusions that had helped me so much in climbing this tree cut mercilessly into my skin, leaving a huge scratch.

Pain pierced my hoof, and I instinctively took it away from the surface of the tree, which, as the laws of free-falling dictated, made me spiral into the ground.

I managed to somehow angle myself and landed on my shoulder. The cold snow quickly chilled me to the bone, but at least it softened the fall.

At first, I felt like it was over. I felt as if nothing had happened. But I only needed to flinch.

“Argh! Shit!” I screamed loudly, as pain pierced my shoulder. I felt it echo through my body like a scream in the giant cave.

“Ra- Rainbow—” I spoke, raising my eyes to the sky, even though every single movement, even speaking, caused the pain in the shoulder to explode. “P- please… I need you!” I begged, looking at the wide, pale moon.

It seemed I dislocated my shoulder… or, in the worst case, it was broken, because it hurt like shit.

“Rainbow Dash! He- Help! Help me!” I screamed at the top of my lungs, my vocal cords straining to their maximum, until my voice was hoarse.

“Please… I need you… I need you,” I coughed out a quiet rattle. Something wet, something very warm was gathering in my eyes, and the first drop of it fell into the snow.

This wasn’t how cool ponies acted. Cool ponies didn’t cry. Cool ponies didn’t call for help. Cool ponies never break!

I tried moving my foreleg, but the instant I even flinched, it sent another spasm of pain through my body. I was not getting up any time soon.

“Rainbo-o-ow!” I rattled, finally letting myself go, hiding my face in the pile of snow. “Why did you leave me-e? Why didn’t come? I was waiting for yo-ou!.... I still am!”

Crying bitterly into the snow, I forgot about everything. About all our training, about our friendship. Only bitter sorrow remained, along with the words:

SHE ABANDONED YOU!

I opened my eyes, feeling goosebumps all over my body. No, they weren’t because I felt cold… This voice was so strange. It came out of… everywhere at once. Left, right, down, up…

I looked up, and suddenly saw a shadowy figure, flapping its wings, flying quickly to my aid, no doubt.

Through tears, I smiled. I was ready to laugh and dance at the same time - it was Rainbow! She had come for me! She was here!

“Rainbow! I’m here!” I tried to alert her, but my throat spasmed with pain, and all that came out was a petty whisper. But it didn’t seem like she needed any warning - she was already flying towards me.

I quickly swiped the tears off my face. She must not see me like this. Pretend like nothing happened. Nothing was wrong.

“Who treads there?” A familiar voice reached my ears, and my shadowy savior landed right in front of me. “Sco...Scootaloo? Was it you screaming?”

The moonlight gave me a good perspective to see this mare from top of her tuft and the tips of her hooves. Golden coat, cyan mane… It was anypony, but Rainbow Dash.

“You… aren’t Rainbow Dash.” I said, staring at Raindrops. She could barely hear my voice, so she moved closer.

“What? I can’t hear you? What are you doing here?” She looked at me, and suddenly turned pale. “Are you hurt? Oh, sweet Celestia, what have you done to yourself?”

What I had done? What I had done? I didn’t do fucking anything! I went here, and waited for my best friend in the whole entire world to come to me and spend Hearths Warming, one of the most important days in the world, with me! I waited! I waited! And she didn’t fucking come!

I didn’t know, where Rainbow Dash was, and I didn’t care. Bitter, cold anger filled my heart and tears gushed out of my eyes once more.

“Scootaloo, you’re hurt!” Raindrops declared, after taking a brief look at me. “I need to get you to hospital, that might be dangerous.”

Hospital?! I didn’t want a fucking hospital! I wanted fucking Rainbow Dash! I didn’t come here just for this stupid whore to drag me to some fucked hospital!

SET ME FREE! RELEASE ME!

I covered my head with an uninjured hoof and screamed, trying to silence this voice in my head, forgetting about my throat. It reminded me of itself with pain.

Pain. Pain was everywhere. No matter what I did, I felt pain. No matter whom I listened to, I felt pain. No matter, whom I trusted or loved, I felt only pain.

Pain. Pain! Pain all over the fucking place!

PAIN! YES!

And again that voice was driving me fucking crazy! I couldn’t take it anymore.

“Rainbow Dash! Give me Rainbow Dash! Give me Rainbow Dash!” I repeated again and again, tearing my throat. Raindrops panicked, as she couldn’t understand what I was saying. Her face turned ever paler, and she started looking around.

“What is wrong with you, child? Oh, sweet heavens!” She kissed me on the forehead. “You’re all burning. Just how long had you been here? No, I need to get you out of here.”

She wrapped her hooves around me, and tried to pick me up. After all I’ve been through, she would just take me away? Fuck off!

“Let us go!” I screamed, but this voice I suddenly had was… strange. It wasn’t mine, it was… somepony’s… something else’s.

Raindrops looked at me with shock. Suddenly, something urged me to lunge at her and rip into her neck with my teeth. She didn’t utter even a sound, still shocked, when I ripped a small part of her flesh and jumped out of her grasp.

My heart was pumping, my skin turned sweaty. I just couldn’t understand what I was doing: it wasn’t me. Something was controlling me!

The taste of her blood made me want to vomit, but I couldn’t spit it out. I couldn’t even move! Even the smallest movement required a great deal of my strength, and soon my body just stopped responding.

The pain was tearing my nerves, but I was still standing. At that very moment, I finally realized - I wasn’t the master of my own body anymore.

AT LAST!

This voice… It rocketed through my brain. It took me just a moment that this voice… was the reason for my behaviour.

“Scoo...taloo… wh...why… what?” Raindrops whispered, holding her wound. It wasn’t too deep or serious, she was more hurt by the very fact that I attacked her. But I didn’t! I would never do that. It wasn’t me! I didn’t do that!

“Your heart is mine!” This monster… I spoke, growling ferociously. Suddenly, I felt something stirring and beating on my back. If only I could turn around and look…

My wings started jerking uncontrollably, twisting and morphing. They grew larger and larger the more they moved, and soon, I was able to see what they were transforming into.

Two large tentacles swoop through the air, waving at Raindrops, as if threatening to attack her. A moment later, from the smoking darkness, eyes formed on these massive black tendrils.

They stared at Raindrops with hungry looks, as their mouths started to morph as well. The left one had a huge open smile, for its mouth was full of razor sharp teeth, stuck on each other, preventing it from ever closing its mouth. The other had a massive thick jaw, and looked more like a living hammer, than a head.

Poor Raindrops stared at this monstrocity, backing away slowly. The blood was running down her chest, and it seemed to be enthralling the heads… and me.

KILL HER NOW! FEAST ON HER HEART!

My body obeyed this wretched command, and the smiling head lunged at Raindrops, plunging its teeth deep into her hindleg. It had almost endless length, seeing as it stretched out far enough to bite her, even though there was at least half a meter between Randrops and me.

Terror filled every fiber of my being, and I desperately fought for control for my body. But whatever I did, I couldn’t feel anything but pain, striking my brain.

What the fuck was I supposed to do? I couldn’t do anything! I couldn’t even fucking blink on my own! This thing, this… monster had full control of me! I tried to save Raindrops, I really wanted to save her, but… but I…

The head raised Raindrops up into the air, holding the pony steadily. She screamed loudly, but every movement caused the monster’s teeth to rip even deeper into her flesh.

“Help!” She finally started to yell, making my ears hurt. “Help me! Anypony, please! Aaaaah!”

The mare showed her true self… But I didn’t blame her at all. In fact, I envied her, because she could scream. I was forced to watch instead.

“Silence,!” ‘I’ growled, and the head with the wide jaw lunged forwards, approached the pony’s face and… crawled right into her mouth, as she was screaming. Her voice quickly turned to rattles and groans, as the tentacle got deeper and deeper into her mouth, forcing its way in, as the head’s jaw was obviosly too wide to just fit through.

I really wanted to vomit, but this force didn’t let me. “Please, let me just turn away! Don’t force me to watch!” I thought… and then… it replied.

NO! WATCH, FEEL, REMEMBER!

Raindrops couldn’t handle much more of this torture, as her body started to flinch, her organism was obviously going to vomit, but the demon head was already in her stomach, as I saw something large twisting in her belly. It kept on leaning, as if it was about to tear through her chest, like some kind of a parasite.

Finally, it happened, and the head popped out of her chest, breaking the ribs and ripping the flesh. It was covered in blood and gastric juice, and even more gushed out of the wound when it retreated through her body back to its original place.

For a moment, instead of pain, I felt endless spasms of pleasure run through my body. I knew this feeling - and my friends knew it too, though they refused to admit it. This thing… it…

It got off at killing. Murders were turning it on.

YEEES! MORE! I NEED MORE!

The smiling head smashed Raindrop’s body against the tree. Nopony could survive such punishment, and yet, when ‘I’ started walking towards her, Raindrops was still breathing. Her chest was barely going up and down, and warm air escaped her mouth.

I wanted to cry. Cry and scream. I just couldn’t bear to watch this. This was too brutal, too monstrous. How could anything do this to another living being? The worst realization being that I was technically doing it…

“You are mine,” ‘I’ said, and sent the smiling head forth. It opened its maw and cut into Raindrops’s chest, like knife cuts into butter. Horrid sounds of bones and flesh being chewed reached my ears, and, at last, the head returned, carrying its terrible prize in its mouth - the pony’s heart.

It gushed blood all over me. I felt the red liquid pour all over my face and into my eyes. It sent more and more spasms of pleasure through my body, making me literally shake. And it couldn’t stop, it just would stop.

Finally, the head swallowed the heart, champing loudly. It even uttered something akin to a purr when the heart was sliding down inside its long, black, slick body.

I AM YOUR FRIEND, SCOOTALOO! YOUR GUIDE! WALK WITH ME!

It felt like my body just froze for a moment, and then I collapsed on the ground. The demons heads quickly shrinked in size, and in just one minute they were gone, turned back into my ruffled, little wings.

At last, I was back in control of my body. What was the first thing I did? I ran.

I ran as fast as I could, away from what happened, away from the body. But it didn’t matter as Raindrops’s still, empty, dead eyes were forever stuck in my memory. Her lifeless, pale face, in the puddle of her own blood. I couldn’t forget… I couldn’t erase it.

And I couldn’t run away either. How could I run away from myself?

SOON... YOU SHALL ME MINE, SCOOTALOO! STOP RUNNING! ACCEPT ME!

EMBRACE THE DARKNESS!