Light Grows Dim

My stomach kept on churning and my limbs were shaking from cold as I slowly trotted through the empty corridors of the orphanage. I couldn’t recall how I’d gotten here. When I tried, everything was so blurry… I kept hearing voices and screams. I kept hearing Raindrops, kept seeing her… ripped apart by those things.

I felt so much relief when I saw the door leading to the bathroom. I hurried up and burst inside. The bile inside kept on rising, and I barely managed to lean over the edge of the toilet before I threw up.

The maniacal voice kept echoing in my ears and the images of Raindrops’ gruesome death repeated over again and again. How did it all come to this? What the hell happened?!

My body trembled with every wave of bile, and it just wouldn’t stop. I grabbed on to the edge of the seat to keep myself steady. Tears sprinkled out of my eyes.

Just how much more pathetic I could feel? At this very moment, I felt like a little squashed cockroach, crawling through piles of trash. I wanted to die, I wanted to smash my skull against the seat of this bloody toilet and let my brains drown in the water, but I couldn’t. I was far too scared.

What if this’d be discovered? What if ponies found Raindrops? What would they think? I couldn’t wrap my brain around it: it just refused to work, it refused to cooperate. I closed my eyes and spew out more bile.

After what felt like an eternity, the haze faded and I could form coherent thoughts again. My stomach was still contracting, but there was nothing to push out anymore and I backed away from the toiled and slumped on the floor. Its coldness didn’t even faze me as I stared on the ceiling and cried, cried bitterly, cried silently.

I prayed to Luna for this to turn out to be a dream. Every second, I expected the alicorn of the night to appear and wake me up… but it wouldn’t happen. Her voice wouldn’t touch my ears, and only the muffled sounds of crying and sobbing kept echoing through the bathroom.

WHAT DID THEY DO TO RAINDROPS? WHAT A SHAME!

The voice made me swallow my tears and look around in fear. This voice… this fucking voice had been resonating in my head when the heads were tearing Raindrops apart. I quickly rose up and looked around, looking for any sign of paranormal activity.

“Who are you?! What do you want?” I asked, trying to keep myself firm, but my voice betrayed me. It sounded whiny, shaky. “What the fuck do you want with me?”

There was no answer. I slowly looked around, and when the voice hadn’t replied, I felt relieved for a moment—which lasted only until I felt more vomit crawling up my throat. Thankfully, I managed to get to the toilet and dump the remaining parts of my breakfast there, instead of the floor.

My stomach contracted a few more times, the vomit leaving a putrid taste in my mouth, but at least I stopped throwing up. I tottered away from the toiled and sat down, trying to calm myself down.

“It will all be okay, all will be okay,” I said. “Nothing will be wrong. It’s okay, it’s fucking okay!“

‘Okay’ was the last word I would use to describe this situation. It was not fucking okay. Nothing was fucking okay! The fact that I’d had fucking demon heads for wings is not bloody okay!

I gritted my teeth, trying not to go completely mad. I had this really annoying way of throwing a tantrum: fall on my belly, cry loudly and smack the floor with my hooves till they’d bleed. Right now, the last thing I needed was attention.

As I crawled towards the bath tub, I thought about Raindrops. I didn’t know much about her, but I knew enough to feel like shit. I didn’t just kill a pony, I killed my best friend’s hope for a normal life.

No! No! I didn’t kill her. Those things did! They’d controlled me! Made me do it—forced me to watch as they got off at ripping her apart.

I crawled into the bath tub and turned the water on. Thankfully, the piece of shit still worked and a barrage of cold water spurted into my face from above. My first impulse was to withdraw from the stream, but I forced myself to remain.

The water washed away some of the thoughts, along with the blood that was covering me. When I opened my eyes and looked at the crimson streaks in the water running towards the drain, I felt sick.

The water continued to pour all over me, and it was right then that I noticed that my scarf had disappeared somewhere. I looked around, checking half-heartedly if I’d dropped it somewhere in the bathroom, but there were no signs of it. After a second of scanning the room, I abandoned the search, deeming it unnecessary. I must have dropped it on the way to the orphanage, or when I was climbing over the fence, I don’t know! It was so damn dark that I could barely see my nose, let alone notice my scarf get stuck on some branch.

I really should cut down on swearing. It would be matter of months before I start swearing out loud before my friends and Miss Cheerilee.

After the cold shower, I got out of the tub and, soaking wet, shambled to the sink. Even though water was dripping from me, I still felt the need to shove my face into something refreshing.

I turned the water on and started washing the dirt off my hooves. The second I felt my face getting dry, I splashed some water on my face.

That felt so good. For some reason, water had a magnificent power to take away your worries—ideal. With my eyes closed, I savoured every moment of the water slowly running down my fur and then falling on the floor. At that very moment, I felt somewhat relieved.

“This is all just a fucking dream, Scootaloo…. Just a shitty day.” I said to myself and opened my eyes.

My blood turned cold and my heart stopped beating as I gazed into the eyes of the most horrifying monster I have ever seen.

In the mirror, there was me… but this ‘me’ was different. Her face had festering scars on its cheeks and nose and its ears were ragged and torn. I managed to get a glimpse of its body and saw dozens of horrible cuts and gashes, which looked like they had been inflicted by a hatchet. Her mane looked dry and full of lice. When this monster opened its mouth, I saw not a tongue, but lump of it, with the rest of the tongue missing, clearly torn away, judging by the scars.

But the worst sight was its... her eyes. There were none. There were only two empty eye sockets. The darkness in these halls seemed to be alive, as it felt like these...’eyes’ were sucking in all the light like miniature black holes.

The thing tilted its head to the right and smiled at me, baring its small, sharp teeth.

“Hi, Scootaloo! Tackled the day, haven’t ya?!” It spoke in my voice. I opened my eyes widely, feeling as if I had just said those words. “Why you looking so scared? Swallowed your tongue?”

I pushed myself away from the sink and fell on my back, the pain in my shoulder suddenly coming back at this moment and piercing me with thousand of needles. I gritted my teeth, suppressed a shriek, and started crawling away to the opposite wall, staring at the mirror like a paralyzed puppet.

HIDE, STUPID PUPPET! IT IS NOT YOUR TIME!

The voice angrily shrieked in my head, and I instinctively grabbed my poor head, tears dripping from my eyes more than ever.

“Shut up! Shut up! Please, shut up! Please, stop it!”

YOU CANNOT SILENCE THE SILENCE ITSELF.

I bit my tongue and collapsed on the floor, shaking uncontrollably. I could no longer speak or move. My stomach churned, feeling as if I had swallowed a cockroach.

“Please… leave me alone… let me die…” I begged, thinking that death was the only release from this nightmare.

DEATH IS NO LONGER SOMETHING YOU NEED TO BE AFRAID OF. DEATH IS... GONE!

THERE IS NO DEATH... THERE IS ONLY DARKNESS!

The voice continued to maniacally cackle in my ears as I tried to get up. My skull was shrieking with mind numbing pain, as I looked into the mirror, at my deformed self. In the reflection, I saw those monstrous demon heads lean closer to the mutilated, eyeless grin of my clone, and smile.

WE ARE ONE BIG FAMILY NOW.

“No!” I screamed at the top of my voice, resisted the temptation to smash the mirror or throw something at it, and stormed out of the bathroom, my coat still soaked. I didn’t care about all the mess I had left behind, I just wanted to collapse into the bed and die. I prayed for a quick and swift death. I prayed for this nightmare to end.

I couldn’t stop whimpering as I trotted through the darkness, shivering and shaking. Even as I lied down on my bed and hid myself under the blanket, I couldn’t stop crying. And through my cries, my whimpers, I heard the demonic cackle reverberating in my ears.

***

“Scootaloo? Scootaloo. Scootaloo!” I heard an unclear voice. It sounded like it was coming from far away. I struggled to open my eyes as my eyelids felt heavy as solid metal chunks, but even when I managed to, I still saw nothing but blurry outlines of my surroundings.

“Scootaloo! Wake up, you sleepy head.” The voice became clearer, and I recognized Marisa. I carefully turned around and looked back at her, seeing her gentle smile change to a nervous expression.

“What?” I asked in a hoarse, rude voice, feeling the scratching pain in my throat. Marisa’s expression did not change, and I assumed that my face must look about as good as the reflection in the mirror. Wait, the mirror. Did that mean I didn’t actually look like that if Marisa wasn’t screaming bloody murder at seeing me?

I leaned over a bit, and looked at the clock: 8:00 and I still felt like collapsing and sleeping on. That was what tipped Marisa off. Usually, I was the first to wake up.

“Scoots, do you feel okay? You look very sick,” Marisa said, reaching out for me with a hoof, but I made a jerking motion, and she stopped. “You look… so pale!”

If only I could see myself. Though, after what happened yesterday, I’d prefer to stay away from mirrors as far as possible.

“Oh? Really?” I asked, trying to talk as quietly as possible. This throat was killing me! I didn’t even remember freezing or shouting that much yesterday.

Yesterday. It felt like a distant nightmare now… But I knew it was real. It was far too real to be a dream.

Yesterday… Wait, didn’t I break my shoulder yesterday when I fell? Then… why was the pain so weak, a weak, dumb, nagging pain instead of a sharp burn whenever I’d move? I tried jerking my allegedly broken shoulder… and all I felt was dumb, nagging pain.

This didn’t make sense. How could I get well so fast? Did ‘it’ have something to do with it?

“Scootaloo? Are you listening to me?” Marisa distracted me and I turned to her, realizing I had just been ignoring everything she had said in reply to my question.

“Ugh… of course… go on,” I said, trying to imitate a smile, but all that I managed to put up was a stupid grin.

“You don’t look too good,” Marisa said and touched my forehead without my consent, checking the temperature. “Sweet Celestia, you have a fever!”

“Oh… okay…” I replied with an unusual apathy in my voice. No idea why, but my condition didn’t really bother me. I just wanted to be left alone.

“I think you should stay in bed for today. I’ll talk with the nanny, okay?” she offered and I silently nodded thereto. I felt incredibly lethargic. I couldn’t even crawl if I tried, let alone walk.

“Yeah, okay… okay…” I replied, my body shuddering and my stomach churning. One would think I should have gotten over it now…

Marisa looked at me, sighed, and sat down on my bed. The old construction creaked dangerously, the wood threatening to snap at any moment under the weight of us two.

“So…” she began, rubbing her neck. “How did your Hearth Warming go? Did you meet your Rainbow Dash?”

I immediately got the urge to vomit right there when I heard that name. I would prefer any, any name in the world, but that one. Right now, the very letters in it made me cringe.

I muttered something in reply, wheezing the words into my blanket. Marisa’s ear jerked a little as she struggled to understand even a single word.

“Could you… repeat that again?” she asked. My reply was to groan something and hide my face in the pillow, in the hope she would leave me alone. The poor pony sighed and got off my bed.

“I see you’re in no mood to talk, and… I really have to go now. I’ll visit you later, after breakfast.” She smiled at me. “Don’t worry, I’ll snatch some cupcakes for you, just as you always do.”

I wanted to refuse her offer, as my stomach couldn’t even handle the saliva I was swallowing, my gag reflex kicking in constantly, but I just let her proceed.

“Don’t get out of bed until you feel better!” Marisa decreed, closing the door behind her as she left, leaving me alone with my misery.

What else was there to do than dream? Dreaming, imagining how things should and could have been, instead of how they were. This was my primary source of entertainment. When I was sick, grounded, or anything else, I wandered into my dreams and hopes.

Other foals had Game Colts and arcades to give themselves some visual entertainment. Our only visual entertainment was our poor environment.

I didn’t complain too often, only when I really felt like shit. Right now was the perfect opportunity for me to complain and dream of things. Maybe imagining myself in a Wonderbolt costume, flying through the clouds like a lightning bolt, shattering the barriers of speed, would take me away from the previous night and Her, that treacherous pony.

The more happy images I let into my head, the calmer and collected I became. I never doubted this technique of mine; it had always helped me relax before, why wouldn’t it now?

Heeey… A silent, muffled whisper reached my ears and I opened my eyes widely, my heart skipping a beat before starting to bang in my chest like it’d been kick-started. Heeeey…

I felt petrified, sweat running down my forehead and my hooves shaking uncontrollably. What was this whisper? Who was it? Where was the whisperer? Was he even in this room? No, I was alone! Then who? Who?

I’m talking to you, Scoots! The voice finally became clear as I felt my heart stop. The voice was no other than mine.

“Wh- who...Who’s that?” I mumbled, my lips trembling. I dreaded what would happen next, and the worst thing happened: it replied.

Wow, I’m a little silly at times, am I not? The other me said, her voice sounding clear in my head. It’s me, Scootaloo! Scootaloo, meet Scootaloo! Weird, isn’t it? It giggled. But how else should I call myself?

“Where are you?! How are you talking to me?!” I said, turning my head around, looking for any possible shadowy figure, but the room was empty.

I’m in your head, duh! It proclaimed matter-of-factly. Where else should I be? In the wall? On the ceiling? Or, no, wait, outside the window! Yes, I’m a little birdie, flying past your window!

This voice was so painfully alike to mine, and it also sounded so damn playful, so happy, as if it enjoyed seeing me like this!

And the very fact that I was talking to the voice in my head. Yeah, there was that. Have I really gone mad?

Jokes aside: I’m you, Scoots. The second Scoots. Scoots the Second. Any name would fit as long as it’s awesome! My imaginary friend said playfully.

“Second Scoots… Scoots the Second… Stop, stop, stop!” I said out loud and got up from my bed, slowly, fighting my sickness. “Please, before we call each other names… explain to me: what has happened to me and why are you in my head?”

That’s a lot of questions, other me said. But since you’re a little lost, frightened, and confused, I’ll answer some of them. Only some: explaining is not fun, so I won’t be doing too much of it!

Other me was a prick.

First: what has happened to you. Let me congratulate you: you are now the host! My voice exclaimed excitedly. I can’t see you cheering!

“The… host? Of what?”

My voice suddenly turned quiet for a moment.

I can only tell you the name. You are now the host of an ancient being called the Darkness. It said in a half melancholic, half excited tone. It comes with many benefits… and some drawbacks.

“Benefits?! What benefits can there be?!” It all started to make sense. I was possessed. So, that was the voice in my head, the voice that made me kill Raindrops. The Darkness. “This fucking Darkness is a mad murderer!”

Hush! Shut up! My voice shouted at me. Don’t insult it! It doesn’t like it!

I wanted to spill out a rant filled with cuss words, but the voice interrupted me.

You’re lucky we’re talking during the day. The Darkness hates light. It’s powerless in the day. That’s why you can’t hear it, It said with positive attitude. I, on the other hoof, can talk to you at any moment I desire. I’m you, after all!

“And that brings the subject to you. Why are you in my head? Why couldn’t I hear you before?” I asked, licking my lips, but my tongue was rather dry.

Well… it’s difficult to explain… I don’t really know the details. You see, I and Darkness are… well, we’re connected, but… I’m a part of it, the voice said reluctantly, as if weighing each word. I cannot exist without it.

That explanation seemed too alienating to me that I wanted it to clarify, when the voice, as if reading my thoughts, stopped me.

Don’t ask. Even I have no idea how that works, It murmured. And don’t ask me why you are the host. I don’t know. I simply don’t know.

Other me was rather specific in its answers. However, it was better than nothing. At least I got some clarification. But I had to learn more: how to get rid of it, how to get this monster away from me.

“Listen… the night yesterday… when…” I started talking, my voice shivering at the sight of gruesome memories.

Raindrops died. Gruesome sight, I have to say… The Darkness sure knows its stuff. I couldn’t figure out whether other me was making a compliment or stating the obvious about the horror. The Darkness craves death and suffering. It gains power by devouring the hearts of its victims. That’s why your shoulder healed up so quickly.

I touched my shoulder, feeling a weak spasm of pain.

But it’s not as bad as it seems. Sure, the Darkness isn’t very pleasant, but being a host has a lot of benefits! The voice repeated. For example, you can master its powers, and assume its form without being taken over! Then imagine all kinds of stuff you can do!

You can travel very fast! Use the demon heads to fight! Rip your foes apart and devour their hearts to become stronger! It described with delight. You can help so many ponies, become a super hero, a Filly-Do-Well!

The painful realization of the sheer brutality and power that was now hiding inside me was battling my eternal dream of fame, glory and heroism. The voice knew what to say. My thoughts shifted from the murder to me being glorious. And it didn’t matter how much I shouted at myself that it was a horrible idea, I couldn’t get my dreams out of my head.

Maybe, just maybe, being a host… was a blessing?

I felt disgust for myself. What was I thinking?! This… Darkness killed Raindrops! It was evil, brutal, hungry for flesh, and I was calling it a blessing? I wanted to hurt myself so badly for thinking that.

Come on, I can teach you these tricks! Just imagine what you’ll be able to do. You’ll be strong, fast, awesome! You’ll be more awesome than any Wonderbolt in existance!

The voice had a point, such a good point. I hated myself, I berated myself for this, but I shifted my allegiance and decided: just one try. Maybe I could subdue its powers. Maybe I could surf through the library and find a way to control it. Then, I’d make up for what it did. Yes! That was a great idea!

However, I still had to be cautious. Diving into the Darkness seemed foolish, even for me, so I decided to take it slowly.

“Okay, I agree. Teach me how to control this thing,” I enunciated, and the voice seemed replied in a childish, giddy voice which I hadn’t known my voice was capable of.

Sweet! I promise, you won’t be disappointed! However… right now, we cannot do anything. We’ll have to wait till nightfall. I nodded.

“Okay… and what do I do until nightfall?” My rumbling belly answered the question for me.

Do anything you feel like doing! The voice said dismissingly and fell silent, so I decided to go to the canteen and grab myself something to eat.

After the conversation with the voice was over, I really felt better. My new goals suppressed the horror before the dark power, but I couldn’t fight back the feeling of guilt, the face of Raindrops, her dying breath, and the happy muzzle of Marisa, who had just been taking care of me, having no idea what I had been forced to observe

I took a deep breath and tried to calm down. I was the victim, the victim of a monster inside me. Marisa would understand if she were to find out… But, just in case, I had to make sure she wouldn’t… Never…

Walking to the canteen didn’t feel the same anymore. Every inch, every step was like treading into another reality. The walls, which I’d come to know every inch of, no longer looked familiar. It felt as if everything had changed… or maybe it was just me.

Can you go faster? You could always mope about your tragic fate later! The voice decided to butt into my inner, angsty monologue. I did not reply as I was close enough to others who could hear me.

Trying to be as quiet and unnoticeable as possible, I walked past the ponies who were just having their breakfast, and couldn’t help the feeling that these ponies, most of whom I personally knew, had changed. They just felt different.

Mmmhhmm… My inner voice muttered a sound that resembled purring. It certainly enjoyed seeing other ponies for a reason I didn’t quite get.

“Could you stop it?” I hissed quietly, hoping that others wouldn’t hear. “Your constant murmurs don’t help me concentrate.”

Sorry… there’s just so much food here... it said, sending shivers running down my spine. To preserve my mental health, I wanted to assume it was talking about the grey mass of porridge that the other foals were eating.

I took a tray and entered the queue, waiting for my turn to get the ‘delicious’ grey goo. It had always smelled sickeningly bad, but today, it smelled even worse.

“Scoots!” I heard Marisa’s voice and turned to her. Judging by her expression, she wasn’t happy with me being out of bed.

“I’m feeling better,” I quickly responded to her angry gaze. “Don’t worry about me.”

“Porridge or vegetables?” the sickly cook asked, looking at me with his emotionless, muddy eyes, not even noticing that I was engaged in a conversation. I turned away from Marisa and silently pointed at the soup, since water with raw vegetables was better than grey vomit splattered all over the dish.

“Scootaloo, go back to bed,” Marisa said firmly. I watched the cook pour some boiled water into the bowl before turning to her.

“I will. Just let me have my breakfast,” I replied, but she continued to leer at me with her angry eyes. It almost made me feel guilty. Almost.

Hmm, Marisa… At times I think we should grab ourselves a glass of wine, get together and have some good ol’ sinful sex! My inner voice sing-songed, which irritated me. I wanted to reply with some cuss words, but talking to myself was not a good idea right now.

Shit, the image of Marisa with a wine glass on a bed would never leave my head now.

“Scootaloo, you have a fever. You should go to bed at once!” Marisa said, which seemed to wake the ponies in the queue from some stupor. They hurried up to get their food and leave as far away from me as possible.

“It’s not a fever, just a weak cold. Relax,” I tried to soothe her, and started walking away. Marisa sighed and accompanied me to the table. Hopefully, she realized that I wasn’t going back to bed till I’d gotten my belly stuffed with this disgusting stuff.

“I’ll get you to the doctor immediately after breakfast. I’m pretty sure this is not a common cold… After all, Celestia knows when you came back. I’ve been dying to ask what took you so long…” Marisa said in that motherly manner of hers, looking at her tray. “You don’t have to tell if you don’t want to…”

I stayed quiet and continued eating my vegetables. I just didn’t have anything to say. I really just wanted to forget…

“Well, okay then… Enjoy your breakfast.” Marisa said and got to eating her food, but not before throwing her mane back so that her long butter yellow mane wouldn’t get in the way. Raindrops’ feather was still fixated in her hair, which made me feel nauseous. I suddenly felt like collapsing on the floor and shouting the truth, but I pulled myself together, remembered my thoughts from earlier.

It’ll all be cool. Be cool and everything will be cool, my inner voice chirped.

“Yeah… I’m cool,” I whispered.

“What was that?” Marisa immediately brightened up, thinking I was about to spill out my thoughts.

“Nothing… you’re just… pretty today.” I tried excusing my whispers with a random excuse and it seemed to work.

“Oh… thanks… Strange hearing that from you, though.” Marisa said and admired her reflection in the water of her glass.

Hot lesbian seeex! My inner self once again plagued my mind with dozens of pictures, so I bit my tongue a little to shut it up.

My other self had no restraints in her cynical humour. That’s, like, just a little less restraints than I usually have. Surviving till the evening with the vulgar, cynical pony in my brain would prove to be difficult. I guess that was how living with me was like.

***

“Are you really sure you don’t need a doctor?” Marisa asked, leaning over my bed and looking at me. I smiled in return and curled up in my bed.

“Nah, mom, thanks.” My remark made her blush a little.

“C’mon, Mary! We’re going to miss it!” Irma exclaimed, standing at the door and tapping her hoof impatiently. “Stop fiddling with the little one and get a move on!”

“Be patient, Irma!” Marisa exclaimed rather harshly. “The party can wait!”

There were certain days when Irma and Marisa would go to a party. What party, I had no idea; they had never told me anything, saying it was their business. And I really couldn’t figure out what they did there. When they returned, they returned sober, at times even sad.

“Every time you say that we don’t make it on time. And you know what happens when we don’t make it on time!” Irma grumbled and left the room.

“I’ll be outside! Don’t take too long!” she shouted from outside and quickly trotted away, judging by the sound of hoofsteps.

Marisa took a deep breath and sighed heavily, looking at me wearily. In her eyes I saw the silent question that she had been asking me throughout the day: are you okay? Are you alright? I replied with a quick nod.

“Sorry, Scootaloo, but I have to go now. Try to fall asleep as fast as you can, and you’ll feel better tomorrow. I promise I’ll bring you something sweet,” she said and kissed me on the cheek. She trembled. I almost didn’t see it.

“Will you ever tell me what party you go to? I like parties, you know. Why can’t I go?” I asked, and she replied with a standard phrase about “special parties” for “adult” ponies, just like she always did. I was glad to see she was keeping it classy. At least, it gave me some sort of relief.

“One day, I’ll go with you!” I exclaimed, but Marisa turned pale and turned away.

“No. No, you won’t,” she said, going towards the door, still pale. “Scootaloo, these are bad parties. They’re very loud, annoying… you’ll hate them. Just don’t…. don’t think about them, okay?”

“Okay, if you say so.” I replied with a little melancholy in my voice. Marisa turned to me, smiled one more time, and left after saying goodbye.

Finally! I thought she would be fondling you for the rest of the night! My inner voice exclaimed. You should totally lay her, like, totally. There’s zero questions: you two belong in one bed!

“Sod off!” I grumbled, threw away my blanket, and flexed my forelegs and wings. The shoulder still ached a bit, but I paid no attention to it. I had more important stuff to think about.

No, really. It’s like, whenever I see you two, you’re always so damn close. Makes my heart all fuzzy inside… I mean, your heart, other me said, giggling a little.

“Could you stop discussing me and Marisa and finally explain what you want from me?” I grumbled angrily, turning around to fix my bed.

Oh, yeah, I almost forgot! Damn, I can’t wait to finally feel myself in a physical body! How about you… summon the pretty me and we talk face to face? My inner friend sung, and continued to ramble on when I turned to the wall. It’s not difficult at all. You just have to concentrate and focus all your willpower.

“So, willpower, huh?” I mused and pointed my hoof at the wall, trying to ‘concentrate’. I gritted my teeth and forced my brain to think of nothing but that wall, tried to imagine it as a portal.

Nothing happened. I focused more and more. I put more and more effort into skewering a hole between reality and my imaginary world, to bring this otherworldly voice into physical world.

Nothing happened.

“This isn’t working.” I deadpanned and the voice giggled quietly.

Sorry. I just loved to see you struggle like that. Sounded like…

“Shut up!” I interrupted it, knowing this tasteless joke far too well.

He-he, fine. Turn off the light, hun. Nothing will work when there’s light, It replied, and I quickly dashed to the switch and turned the light off. Much better… and remember: our power lies in darkness. Even artificial light weakens the Darkness. Sunlight completely negates it. Got it?

“Yeah, yeah, got it.” I concentrated on the wall once more, this time standing in complete darkness. As my eyes adapted to the shadows, I started to feel a little weird, as if something was turning in my brain, running around and causing havoc.

It’s finally...working! Other me said, and her voice became so distorted and shaky that I couldn’t make out any more words it might have said. Things got even more confusing when I felt something prickling at the tip of my hoof.

“Err, me? How about an explanation? What’s happening?” I asked, but there was no reply. The shadows around me seemed to move, and my headache turned worse. I felt like my skull was trying to squash the brain inside. I gritted my teeth but kept myself concentrated on the wall.

Backing down was for cowards!

“Hey! Are you even in there….argh!” A sudden flash of pain in my head made me lose focus and fall down on my knees. The pain still persisted for a short amount of time, but, as I breathed carefully, it lessened.

“Ugh… fuck… You said it would be easy.” No answer followed.

“Hey, I’m talking to you!” I tried calling once again, but there was no reply still.

For a moment I thought I got rid of the annoying other me. For a moment, I thought I was finally safe. I thought that it was all a dream.

Sudden, loud sounds filled my ears, triggering immediate reaction in the form of pain. Uttering a quiet ‘ouch’, I looked around. It was then that I realized that, even if it were a dream, it just turned into yet another nightmare.

The walls of the room started turning crimson. Giant splashes of black, looking like cancerous growths, slowly crawled all around. I felt a distinct smell of rotting flesh invading my nose, the sickly sweet scent of rotting meat, making my stomach churn.

I wanted to turn away from the disgusting sight, but something forced me to observe as it continued to grow, until it formed a big black stain on the wall, constantly emitting belching sounds and the horrific smell.

“Celestia almighty…” I stared in awe and horror as something started to disturb this wall of flesh… like something wanted to crawl out of it. Something tried to break through, but the flesh kept it back, however, emitting the sound of ripping.

The belching began louder, and the flesh started beating as if there was some sort of… pulse. I backed away, cold sweat running down my coat and hit the cupboard with my rump.

I wanted to scream, but the next image shoved my scream back into my lungs, never to escape them again. My vision went blurry, and my stomach started rumbling, making the disgusting mass of vomit run up my throat when I saw a face forming in this mass of flesh.

The monster forced its way out of its rotting prison, managing to get its head out. It stared at me, and one look at it was enough to make me shiver. The monster had no eyes, only two empty eyeholes, each a bottomless black abyss. As blood dripped from its face, I managed to make out the colours and outlines.

The mutilated, deformed me from the mirror was now staring at me in flesh and blood—or what was remaining thereof. It took me a moment to figure out what horror I had summoned into this world.

The monster smiled at me, baring its sharp teeth, and continued to force its way out of the wall of flesh. As more of its body appeared, parts of its flesh started to come off, stuck to the sticky entrance of this rotten doorway to Tartarus. The monster paid no attention to it, and simply ignored parts of its flesh being ripped off.

Finally, the abomination had emerged completely. It flexed its muscles—which I could observe on some parts—as I gazed in horror at its mutilated body: scars, deep bleeding wounds, long black tentacles growing straight out of its back, and two bloody stumps for wings.

Strangely, though, even though I shook like a leave, I had no desire to run. Perhaps I was getting used to this sort of things. I felt something warm running down my upper lip. I licked it with my tongue and tasted the metallic savour of blood. I took a moment to swipe under my nose with my hoof and found out that I had a serious nosebleed.

My headache kept getting worse, and I wanted to get out of the room, when the monster started walking towards me. It walked fast, too fast for the decaying corpse it looked like.

“It’s so good to finally have a body!” It gurgled, something roily and thick dripping from its mouth. “So good to finally feel! This air, this dust! This… blood!”

I was unable to move when it approached me and pressed its cold, wet lips against my nose. A long, thick, snake-like tongue slipped out of her mouth and started lapping up the smeared remains of my nosebleed, trying to catch as much blood as possible. The monster moaned as it drank more and more, with me being completely at its mercy, unable to fight back or do anything.

“Blood! Blood-blood-blood! Sweet, sticky, warm blood!” It sung, as it sucked on my nosebleed, trying to gulp down as much as it could, even though it wouldn’t even fill half of a cup. “You won’t…believe how much I need it!”

I was still completely paralyzed when it backed away, swiped away its saliva from its lips, and burped with satisfaction.

“That’s the stuff!” Its voice was a clear copy of mine, or of other me, to be exact.

It seemed that this was how my friend in the head looked like.

“So, what happened? Swallowed yo’ tongue?” The abomination drawled, grinning at me. I didn’t know whether I wanted to punch it or vormit.

“Is that… you? The… the other me?” I mumbled, its cold saliva dripping from my lips and on the floor. “It was you… who talked in my head the entire time?”

“Yep, you’re right.”

“And… you are the one who was looking at me from the mirror… back in the bathroom?” I whispered, the thing nodding in agreement.

I shivered, out of disgust or fright, I couldn’t tell.

“What else did you expect, sweetie? You’re dealing with the Darkness now, so get used to things looking… ugly,” the mutilated monster stated matter-of-factly, baring its sharp teeth. “How’re you holding up?”

“I- I- “ I muttered, pain resonating in my skull, and the sound of blood dripping from my nose clearly audible. I felt horribly sick and looked towards the door, praying that I would get to the bathroom in time.

“You don’t look too good. All pale… with shades of green. Ah, shit.” The monster looked at the portal it came from. “You’re still green, then. I guess you can’t maintain me in the physical world for too long… and it doesn’t seem like you want to, anyway.”

“Blrgh…” - were the words I could belch, covering my mouth with my legs, rendering me unable to proceed and just hope that I won’t throw up on my own bed.

“I see, I see. Okay, leaving now. Don’t want to put too much pressure on my precious day-tackler!” It sung and trotted to the cancerous growths on the wall. Before it jumped in, it turned around and gave me a smile.

“Once you get stronger, we’ll be able to do so much together! But for now, I’m staying in that comfy noggin of yours. See ya!” It waved at me with its left foreleg and most of the tentacles growing out of her back and then jumped into this ‘portal’.

The pain disappeared as the disgusting mass of flesh curled up into a black stain and, eventually, disappeared. The smell of rotting flesh and old bones was gone as well, finally relieving pressure on my brain, stopping the nosebleed.

I allowed myself to collapse on the ground, still feeling weak and sick. I started to doubt my decisions earlier and thought that the Darkness can be nothing but a curse. Having a decaying monster residing in my head, alongside a monstrous entity… was not pleasing in any way, shape, or form.

Hoy, Scoots! Missed me? The voice spoke in my head. I felt relieved and at the same time troubled. Did I really want her guiding me anymore? Or should I trust her still?

I know this can be hard to swallow, but that’s how things roll. You just have to accept it. Now, get up and let’s do some heroic deeds!

I slowly got up, feeling my strength return. I wanted to tell this dreadful monster to fuck off, but suddenly, my mind got me thinking: isn’t that how heroes work?

I mean, heroes had to have sidekicks, right? And other me was a perfect sidekick. Yeah, it... she wasn’t really heroically looking, but that wasn’t needed. A sidekick needed to help the hero, and it didn’t matter if the sidekick was a pony or a pony monster, right?

“Promise me that, the next time I summon you, you don’t lick my blood. That was disgusting,” I told my inner voice whereto it snickered.

Sure, sure. I’ll try to hold back.

“And tell me if you’re going to look abysmal. Because that was a low blow… I wasn’t ready.”

Sure… you pansy!

“Oh, sod off,” I grumbled, approaching the window. “Hmm… quite a long way down… and I can’t go out the door, there are caretakers everywhere.”

Just jump, sweetie. A leap of faith, as they call it! Trust in me, and trust in your dark powers! I’d wink at you, but yeah, just imagine I wink at you at that point.

How funny. Just yesterday I couldn’t even float even if my life depended on it, something that any, any pegasus should be able to do. And now, I was jumping out of the window, trusting a voice in my head that looked like a zombie. Life was bloody weird.

“Listen… if I’m going to trust you, at least tell me your name. Do you have a name?” I asked, opening the window and feeling the cold winter breeze on my cheeks.

Huh… good question. Well, I am you, technically, so you can call me Scootaloo the Second… Or Scootaloo the Awesome! Or, even better: Scootaloo the Dark Roamer of the Dark Realm, Protector of the Innocent and Weak, and Destroyer of the Wicked and Evil, the most Awesome and Sexy Pony to Ever be Born in Equestria. StDRotDRPotIaWaDotWaEtmAaSPtEbBiE, for short!

“One hell of an acronym,” I deadpanned. I started liking this monster’s sense of humour. Then, I closed my eyes and hummed sagely.

“You’re me, Scootaloo. And you’re also connected to this Darkness… I know! Darkaloo!” I said, smiling. This sounded like a very nice name to me, short, and very informative.

Darkaloo? Hmm…. Awesome! I’m lovin’ this name! Darkaloo, the Amazing I shall be! she sung, making me chuckle once more, such a good relief after the stress I had gone through. So, Scootaloo, are you ready to be a hero?