Light Grows Dim

“Oh yes!” I exclaimed and leapt out of the window, spreading my wings wide, feeling the cold air biting my muzzle. This air made me forget everything. I just looked down and fell. I fell towards the abyss of white, cutting through the night gust like a knife through butter, the snowflakes, drifting by me, as I descended, putting all of my faith into the hidden power within me. If this power could rip ponies apart, it would surely be able to protect me from this measly fall.

The ground felt meters away from me when I felt my wings harden and extend. Before I knew it, a pair of black tentacles sprawled from my back and rushed towards the ground, piercing through the snow and connecting with solid ground, providing me with enough support to balance in the air.

The realization of the fall came afterwards, when I started panicking about being so high above the ground. My forehead and cheeks quickly turned wet, which wasn’t good considering the winter, and my heart skipped a bit. With great caution, I tried moving my new limbs, only to find out that they were just as easy to control as my old wings. Only this time, they were longer, and more flexible. Quite a weird feeling actually - it’s like when you break your hoof, and have to wear gypsum, immobilizing your leg completely, and then, many days later, you’re finally free to move it as much as you want.

“Woah! Aaaaah!” I shrieked, swaying back and forth, trying to maintain balance and stay still. “Wooow!”

Isn’t this cool? My inner voice spoke. It’s like a safety mechanism!

“This is… really cool!” I exclaimed, trying to move the appendages. When I finally got used to them, they suddenly disappeared and I collapsed onto the snow.

“Blargh!” I spat out the snow and slowly got up. No pain, no aches. My ribs were fine. “Did I say something wrong?”

Oh, yes, you offended them, ha-ha! Darkaloo taunted me. Nah, relax — when the threat is gone, they disappear, so they won’t waste energy.

“Energy? The Darkness runs on batteries?” I chuckled, raising an eyebrow. Darkaloo cackled in reply.

He-he-he… Sort of. This energy is harnessed from the shadows, it allows the Darkness to perform basic tasks without taking over your body - like protecting you from harm, allowing you to travel very quickly and so on. Darkaloo murmured. The Darkness cannot let you die, so it will do its best to protect you from harm during the night. During the day, however, it can’t do anything to protect you.

“I understand… and… what if I do die? What will happen to me?” I looked around, making sure nopony noticed me escaping.

I cannot say. I think the Darkness will resurrect you. Yes, it can do that, but I don’t know the details. Darkaloo hummed. Don’t get any funny ideas! I don’t want to die!

“Wow…” I was amazed at the possibilities this Darkness granted me. Resurrect me… So, was I immortal now? Like Celestia? Or Luna? Or Twilight?

I was baffled by the sheer possibilities of heroic deeds I could do with such power. So many ponies to save… so many villains to punish. I looked forward and smiled.

“Don’t worry, I’m not planning to die any time soon. Let’s get going!” I offered and Darkaloo replied with an approving hum.

Where shall we go, though? she asked, but I already had an answer.

“We’re going to find out just what kind of parties Marisa and Irma visit. I’ve always wanted to visit one. I think my time is now!” I approached the fence, thinking of a way I could cross over it.

Your decision, Darkaloo concluded and turned silent, letting me concentrate.

“Can I use my tentacles—” That sounded so icky. “—to, err, jump over this fence?”

Do not abuse the power of the Darkness. You’re better off finding a hole, or you can dig under it. Darkaloo murmured, annoyed by my request. I brainstormed, remembering a little hole in the fence, not far from my current position. Without a second thought, I raced there, kicking the snow up as I ran.

You think you’ll be able to catch up? It doesn’t seem like they’ll be waiting for you, My inner voice spoke.

“Don’t worry, I know some shortcuts through the garden. I know it like my hoof,” I replied, ignoring the cold that was biting me. Running as fast as possible, I finally reached the aforementioned hole and slipped through it into the garden.

You know, I’ve been thinking: what party could they possibly attend? It’s… what time is it?

“I think it’s eleven PM.”

What kind of party starts at eleven PM? Just wondering: should we be at that party at all? Who knows, maybe they catch foals and sacrifice them to an angry underwater god to summon him back into this world to wreck shit?

“What? No-o-o! Marisa cries every time she has to swat a fly - and you think she can summon demons? Pff, give me a break…” I giggled, suddenly catching a thought that something along these lines might be happening. After all, Darkaloo was me, so we had to be sharing thoughts.

What could Irma and Marisa possibly be doing there? I felt like I didn’t want to know.

Walking through the thick layer of snow and the howling wind, I heard the familiar voices. Smiling, I rushed towards these sounds, hoping not to lose them.

As I approached, the voices became clearer and understandable. I stopped and hid behind a tree, gasping for air, exhausted from the running.

“I hate this. I really hate this. I swear, I’m going to quit soon!” Marisa was talking with an expression as if she was about to cry. “And they won’t stop me!”

“I wish I had your enthusiasm,” Irma stated in her everyday stoic monotone. “But they’re not going to let you quit that easily. You still have to pay the fee, remember?”

“Yes, yes, I know. But now I have Raindrops, and she’ll release me from this nightmare!” Marisa stopped in the middle of the road, took a deep breath and sat down on the frozen ground.

“I’ll be praying for that, sis,” Irma said, stopping by Marisa. “So- Oh, Celestia, not again.”

I bit my lip once I heard about Raindrops, tears gathering in my eyes. I quickly drove away the grim thoughts and leaned to the left to observe the scene.

Marisa was sitting on her rump, crying bitterly into her own mane, while Irma came from behind and gave her a warm, loving hug. It made my heart cringe when I saw Marisa’s shoulders quake and heard her bitter sobs. I wanted to come out of my hiding place to comfort the poor pony, but all I could do was grit my teeth and keep watching.

“It’s okay, Marisa. Just this one last time… Just this one last time.” Irma hugged her and ruffled her mane. “Why are you so scared? You’ve done this a million times before. In fact, you should be the one comforting me. I’m the youngest here.”

I was shaking with anticipation, waiting for them to expose the reason for all this madness. My eyes pinned on the two, my hooves shaking and sweat running down the cheeks.

“Because I’m tired of swimming in filth. I’m sick of waking up each morning and trying to keep a stoic face, like none of this has happened. I’m tired of being used… letting myself be used just to have a roof over my head. I can’t look into the children’s eyes anymore without feeling disgust for what I am…” Tears were running down Marisa’s cheeks, glistening in the moonlight. “And it’s even worse, when I realize that young foals and fillies will have to go through it as well unless a miracle happens. Why is the world so cruel to us?”

I’d never seen Marisa so sad before. Ever. My ear throbbed and I felt a clot in my throat. Every inch of my body was trembling as I slowly sat down on the snow, my mind unable to imagine just what she was hiding from me behind the term ‘party’. I wanted to turn back and walk back to the orphanage. I wanted to forget this happened.

I didn’t want to know. Now, I knew for certain that I didn’t want to know. But I had to know; else I would never be able to sleep again. Else every morning, when I’d wake up and see Marisa, I would torment myself with the same question over and over again: what terrified her so much? What was she really doing here? I had to keep going. No matter what, I had to keep going.

“Life’s unfair like that. Come on, let’s go. Just… just take a deep breath and remember: this is the last time,” Irma said, and Marisa got up, wiping the tears off her pale cheeks.

“I hope this is the last time…” Marisa delivered the final twist of the knife in my heart, forcing me to stop and take a deep breath in order not to cry. After inhaling, I closed my mouth and started counting.

Counting the minutes I’d got left to live.

Counting the moments I’d got left to cherish.

Counting the days of my happiness.

One, two, three, four, five….

After counting till I ran out of breath, I exhaled, feeling relaxation and calmness in my heart.

That is one deep way to calm down, Darkaloo commented on this little philosophical masterpiece. Really makes me ponder about the meaning of life.

“It’s an old one… I read it in a book, written by Celestia herself, no less.” I whispered in a calm voice. “Autobiography.”

So, you hold your breath and count as much as you can? Sounds simple enough, Darkaloo noted, and turned quiet, while I continued following the two mares.

The tips of my hooves ached from the frost as I slogged through the deep snow, walking around the naked trees and bushes. This undead forest was getting thicker and thicker as I followed the road my friends were walking.

Where were they going? I didn’t think I’d ever been here. Old trees, some of which were dead already, and the unclean road covered in snow. What could this uncared and forgotten part of the forest hide?

Finally, I saw the destination my friends were heading towards: an old, crooked three storey hotel. The windows were sealed shut and the walls were covered in thistles and moss. However, through the small cracks in the wooden walls, I could see light.

I hid behind a snowbank, ignoring the cold biting my skin and watched Marisa and Irma approach the old door and knock. A big, skinny looking pony in a light leather jacket and with a tattoo on his neck opened, looking quite displeased, probably because of the mares’ late arrival. He angrily said something which I couldn’t hear him from such a distance, before letting the two enter and closing the door behind them.

Now, this is interesting! Who is that — the host of the party? Darkaloo sneered.

“No idea… and I don’t want to find out, to be totally honest…” I voiced my doubts, still feeling a bit down after that scene on the road. “Maybe we should turn back?”

Are you serious? No! We’ve gone too far to go back now! Let’s find a way in! Darkaloo said irritated, so I obeyed; she was right, after all.

Gone too far to go back now… Something made me feel that I was going to regret those words.

“Yeah… I suppose there’s no point in knocking,” I murmured to myself, exited my temporary hideout, and approached the old building, looking for a way to get in.

The walls had so many stumps and edges bulging from them that it would be quite easy to climb up through all the three storeys and up on the roof. But was there any reason to climb up on the roof — probably not, but there was no other way. Going to the basement would be even more useless. So, with nothing to lose, I took a deep breath, shook the snow off my hooves and started climbing, making the best use of my physical training, or lack thereof. Still, these walls had so many places to use as support it would fit more in the fair as an entertainment for young foals.

The wind was blowing in my face, trying to tear me away from the wall, make me slip and fall, but I kept climbing. There was no way back now, I’d gone too far to turn around and run. Those were the words I kept muttering to myself as I persevered, continuing my arduous journey up the side of the hotel.

Finally, I found myself on the roof of the building. Minding my step, I carefully walked, trying to find an entrance to the attic or something along those lines. Finally, I noticed some hatch, tied with a rusty chain.

“Where the hell would this lead?” I pondered and hit the chain as hard as I could. It shattered with little effort, and the hatch was mine to open.

I expected it to lead to the third floor, instead being presented with the sight of web-filled, smelly interspace between the outer and inner walls. I couldn’t even comprehend who built a monstrosity like this. But, as I looked around, I realized this was my best option.

As I carefully crawled inside, feeling myself sandwiched between the two walls, I realized the decision behind the architecture: there were torn dust-covered pieces of insulation on the decaying walls. Looks like the rest was scooped out for some reason. Maybe to sell this place cheaper? But how would the owners warm themselves during winter?

As I continued creeping down into the unknown, feeling myself like a cockroach beneath the trash, I started hearing voices, coming from the first floor. They sounded muffled and unclear, so I quickly crawled towards the source.

The light was pouring through the cracks, guiding me, as the voices became louder and clearer.

“I suppose I can forgive your late arrival,” the rough voice proclaimed. I crawled to the nearest crack and gazed into it. Once my eyes got used to the light, I felt blood in my veins run cold.

I was looking at a reception room, filled with ponies, most of whom were young mares and teenagers from the orphanage. Most of them I know. Irma and Marisa were standing in the centre of the room, with the pony who let them in walking in circles around them, like a vulture circling round his future breakfast.

“We all make mistakes and you two are one of the most profitable here, so I’ll ignore this little incident,” he said, approaching Marisa and touching her cheek. She closed her eyes and nodded.

“Thank you, Mr. Soft Fur. I promise, this won’t happen again,” she said and the pony smiled.

“I know,” he grumbled, walking away from her.

I didn’t like this guy. He looked like a typical shady type, his attire reminding me of some oldschool criminal. But the fact that he had a smiling teddy bear for a cutie mark made me shiver.

My stomach churned when I saw so many mares I personally knew. What were they all doing here? Nothing good, that’s what, I said to myself, regretting once again the decision of coming here. And yet, I didn’t do anything to leave, I just kept watching. I guess the curiosity took over me completely, muffling all voice of reason.

Some shady business going on here, Darkaloo stated the obvious, but I didn’t reply. I just watched Irma and Marisa walk into the corner and sit down while Soft Fur looked around, grinning.

“Alright, sweet cheeks, you know the drill. Head to your rooms, the clients will be arriving soon. We’re expecting a lot today, so get your gear ready if needed!” Soft Fur exclaimed, clapping his hooves, and ponies went deeper inside the house, only two big stallions and a skinnier, weaker one staying behind.

“You,” Soft Fur pointed at the skinny one, “to the reception. You two, greet the guests. Get to work, dimwits, we have a long night ahead of us.”

“Darky… Can we leave? I- I really don’t like where this is going,” I muttered, trying to speak as quietly as possible.

No, Scoots! There’s no way back! Stop shivering, and pony up! We have to get to the bottom of this, now or never! Stop being such a pansy and get going!

I wondered if Darkaloo was more of me than I was. Why was I chickening out? No idea. I was safe, hidden between the walls, protected by the dark powers within me. I was just an observer, I couldn’t get hurt. And yet I still felt like I was about to get dissected.

“Okay, okay… sorry,” I whispered and started crawling once more, in the direction where the mares were going. He told them to go to the rooms. Maybe I could find a crack to peep through.

Despite the cold, despite the fear and worry… at least I was about to find out what ‘parties’ Marisa and Irma were hiding from me for so long.

***

I followed the sound of Marisa’s voice, discovering the room where she was supposed to be residing. With doubt and shame, I crawled in this tight space, approaching a crack that would give me a clear overview.

Peeping on my own friend… Everything was wrong about this situation. Everything.

The room was quite spacey, with a wide double bed right near the wall from which I was looking. To the left, there was a drawer and a few candles on top. There was a huge picture of waterfall on the left wall, depicting a rainbow rising over the water and the green grass growing on the shore. Unlike the house itself, the furniture and the picture looked quite polished and new. Maybe they were moved here just recently.

Marisa lied down on the bed and hugged a pillow, tears sparkling in her eyes. Even in the dim light of the oil lamp, I could see those tiny drops on her cheeks. How helpless and useless I felt right now could not be expressed with words. I wanted to hug her, nuzzle her, give her a sweet kiss on the cheek — anything to make her feel better. I just couldn’t stand to see good ponies cry.

In fact, I realized that I couldn’t stand anypony cry. Except if it was somepony I hated to the core.

“Please… let this end soon,” Marisa sobbed. “Please…”

After a few moments, she took a deep breath, wiped away the tears and relaxed on the bed, which greatly confused me. Was she just going to rest there? Or did she come here to just admire the interior?

All my questions were answered, when the door leading to the room creaked and slowly opened, a young stallion appearing at the doorsteps. Marisa quickly rose up from her bed, looked at this intruder and… smiled. I couldn’t see her smile, but I knew she was smiling.

“Hello,” she said in a soothing, calm voice. “Anything I could help you with?”

She playfully touched her mane and leaned on the edge of the bed, continuing to smile. The stallion blushed, and gulped in worry.

“You’re… err… the Lady of the Waterfall, right?” he asked in a stuttering voice. Marisa giggled, waddling towards the stallion. She gently touched his chest and then carefully turned him around and pushed him on her bed.

Every inch of my body was trembling and itching. I gazed into Marisa’s eyes, and deep inside them I saw disgust. Endless disgust, mixed with sadness and a cry for help. All these emotions she was displaying for this stallion were faked; I’d known her long enough to know that. But that didn’t change the reality.

“Yes, I am the Lady of the Waterfall.” Marisa ran a hoof through her mane. “And you are my client… my guest for tonight?”

“Y-yes, that’s right. My name’s-” The stallion spoke but Marisa carefully put her hoof to his lips and hushed.

“No need for names, sugar. Just open your feelings and accept me as a part of you.”

Lies, lies, all of that were lies! I knew these were lies! I knew for certain! She would never do this, she couldn’t! Marisa is not like that. She would never be a… a…

“Y- yeah…” The stallion grinned, closing his eyes and pulling Marisa in for a lustful kiss.

My chest was ready to burst open with screams of anger and disbelief. I wanted to break down that wall and tear that fucker limb from limb. And yet, I couldn’t even move a muscle, my brain still trying to comprehend the fact that Marisa, one of my first friends, the pony, whose bleeding heart could only be compared to Fluttershy’s, was a whore.

In this moment, Darkaloo was silent. Right now, when I needed some words of support, she was fucking silent. I wanted to crawl away from here. I’d found out too much already… but I couldn’t. I just couldn’t move. Instead, I leaned closer to the crack and watched.

“Lose yourself in the waterfall…” Marisa whispered into the stallion’s ear, igniting the flame of desire inside him as he rolled over and shoved his entire length inside her.

My stomach contracted, gathering the piles upon piles of vomit and pushing them towards my mouth. I closed my eyes and tried to remember good times, happy moments, but they all were twisting and crooked, under the soundtrack of Marisa’s faked ecstatic screams. Why was I still there? Why was I listening? Why was I looking? I didn’t know. I just couldn’t stop.

Marisa kept on screaming and moaning, but this idiot, this little piece of shit that was fucking her had no idea that she was faking. She couldn’t possibly feel all of this for real, not after what I’d seen. He couldn’t even comprehend the hatred that bloomed within me as I observed him mercilessly using my friend for his own primal needs.

Now, I understood. Now, I knew why Marisa was so upset, why she was hiding this from me. This… this was something worthy of hiding.

But she was forced into it, I knew that for certain. She was being forced! They were all forced! I didn’t know how, I didn’t know why! But they were being forced, every single one of them.

Marisa was moaning as the stallion kept on thrusting, a lustful grin stuck on his face. I opened my eyes and looked at his face, trying to memorize it. After I’d get out of here, I’d find him.

After several more thrusts, the fucker bit his lip as his pathetic stamina ran out and he climaxed. Marisa grabbed a pillow and covered her mouth with it, probably to muffle her cries, or not to puke.

“Whew… I’m done, babe… Oh…” He was gasping for air, exhausted and drained.

Marisa slowly opened her eyes and put the pillow aside. “I’m… glad you enjoyed it… I hope to see you again… soon…”

“Don’t worry about that, babe. Whenever I get the chance and money, I’ll be here,” he exclaimed, getting off her and taking a deep breath. “I’ll leave some extra bits for you at the reception.”

“Th- thank you.” Marisa tried to express gratitude as hard as she could, but still failed. The stallion, however, fell for it. He smiled at her and then quickly left, probably to find a shower.

When he finally left, I finally got control of my body back from the accursed emotions, so I crawled away from there as fast as I could, as fast as my body would allow, scratching my sides on the rough edges of the wall’s inside. Despite the pain, despite the vomit steadily crawling up my throat, I crawled as fast as I could. I wanted to get away, to forget everything, but the sound of creaking beds and delighted screams and moans shoved more and more pictures into my head.

My eyes started to water, when I finally found a quiet corner. Before bursting into tears, I crawled to the nearest crack and checked if anypony could hear me.

I was back in the reception room, but this time, it was filled with stallions, the ‘clients’ of this brothel. It made me sick looking at the room full of dirty trash like them, who would want to pay hard earned bits to violate a poor mare for their own sick pleasure. Turned out, there were more than a few. There were at least fifteen in the room. And it made me want to puke even harder.

“I swear, I’ll find a way to bring this place down!” I growled quietly. I was boiling in anger and fury, and tears poured out of my eyes like overflowing rivers. How much I hated myself for following the stupid idea of coming here, and how much I hated Darkaloo for making me follow through with this stupid, stupid idea!

Relax, Scoots… I’m sure it’s not something to raise a fuss about, Darkaloo finally opened her demented, non-existing mouth.

“No, it is! I can’t simply stay and watch my friend getting fucked!” I hissed furiously. “Why didn’t you talk to me? Why were you silent the entire bloody time?!”

I just didn’t know what to say! Darkaloo exclaimed. She wanted to say something else, but her voice turned quiet when I heard the distinct sound of cracking wood.

“The fuck is tha-” I was unable to finish the sentence, as the wall gave away and I fell… right into the reception room.

The stallions jumped up, startled by the sudden loud noises and a filly that appeared right out of nowhere, covered in web and dust, with ruffled messy mane and tear stained cheeks.

I raised my eyes and looked around, my heart stopped. Looks like the old walls couldn’t handle my weight and it gave away. I looked back — there was now a hole in the wall, the size of me.

Then, I looked around, all the stallions staring at me with fear and worry. I didn’t know if they felt sorry for me or were just frightened to death. I, for one, was feeling the latter.

Don’t… move, Darkaloo whispered as if somepony could hear her and as if I was ever going to move. However, it didn’t matter what I did, since a second later I felt one of the guards that Soft Fur left here nail me to the ground.

“You’re not going anywhere, missus!” he growled into my ear, while I desperately tried to free myself from his grip. I kicked, I cried, I screamed, but nothing worked.

“Shit, Soft Fur is going to skin us alive once he finds out we let her slip past!” another guard said, approaching me. He quickly looked around, gazing at all the stallions and the receptionist with anger.

“Don’t even try to tell the boss, or it will be the last thing you’ll ever do!” he addressed everypony in the room and then leaned to me. “Let’s make a deal: we let you go, and you forget this place exists.”

I quickly nodded. The circumstances left me no choice but to accept this deal, and besides, it wasn’t that bad. Though, I wish I could truly forget this place ever existed.

However, those hopes were dashed a second later.

“Don’t try to tell me what, exactly?” I heard Soft Fur’s voice. I couldn’t see him, but by the tone and volume of his voice I could tell that he was pissed.

“Err… nothing,” the guard who was keeping me still mumbled and I felt relieved as the giant fell of me when Soft Fur kicked him right in the jaw.

“Get off her, you idiot,” he said. I slowly got up and looked at Soft Fur.

My blood turned cold when I saw him staring right into my eyes. I couldn’t even imagine this ending anything but badly…

“You two, take her to my office. We need to resolve this little incident as fast as possible,” he growled at his henchponies and turned to the clients. “I’m sorry about this, gentlecolts. Please, continue as if nothing happened. I’m already handling the issue.”

My rage got the better of me when I heard him talking to these dirty motherfuckers this way. He was a true businesspony, treating his costumers with great respect… But they were no costumers, they were a bunch of sick assholes, his henchponies too, and Soft Fur himself!

I gazed at the ponies staring at me with utmost hatred and toxic anger, but they didn’t even notice as Soft Fur started walking and his goons dragged me along through the corridor.