Pinkie Pie is Best Pony

One day as Pinkie Pie was brining all her friends back to life and killing them, Cheese Sandwich decided to challenge her to a best pony competition. Pinkie Pie realized that this was the first pony to ever exist that was even close to being anywhere near being even 0.01% as good as her, but that he was almost there. So she decided to take the challenge.

The first challenge was being the cutest and most beautiful pony ever. Pinkie Pie won and she cut Cheese Sandwich's dick off as punishment for losing and then she laughed at him for 10,000 years straight as he was in pain. He didn't die, though because Pinkie wanted to do the rest of the competition.

The second challenge was being the sexiest pony. Cheese Sandwich lost so hard that his brain melted and his heart exploded. Pinkie laughed at him for 20,000 years straight, but he still didn't die yet.

The third challenge was being the most fun party thrower ever. It was a fairly close competition (that didn't even matter because Pinkie won the other two and he'd lose overall no matter what), but Pinkie Pie is the ultimate most fun and bestest most awesome super cool and great pony that has ever lived and she beat him causing him to explode and die. She decided to bring him back to life and keep him as her slave for her to laugh at while he's in pain for the rest of eternity. He was honored to have such a perfect pony own him and everything was awesome for Pinkie as she laughed at him for all eternity.