So, yeah... I was bored, my friend was bored, and I had a little free time. So I sat him down and had him tell a story about ponies... and he is NOT a brony... so this can only end so well... a few things you should know.

1. These are HIS exact words, not mine.
2. I take no credit and/or responsibility for this.
3. Don't hold this story against me, it isn't mine.
4. Any normal text is him talking. Any italics is me.
5. Go easy on him, he isn't a brony hater. He actually tolerates us very much so! He was just bored.
6. Don't down-vote unless you find the story offensive, please, and let me know why in the comments.
7. Nothing else needs to be said. Try not to throw up.

Tragedy tag for how tragic it is this story came into existence.