Words Before The Story of a Lunatic
This is the story of Pony Place, and it reaped vengeance upon the universe in many terrible ways. My name is Maaaaaa... BOB! Thing a Bob, to be exact. And I am NOT a brony, but I am not a brony hater. I wanted to give you all a gift that you'll remember for hopefully the rest of your lives and tell your children about this and I get paid because I publish this. Whenever you get the urge to kill me, get in line, there are plenty of people waiting for that. But, I think the number one person who wants to kill me the most is Silver.
Hehehe
And whenever you hear the howl of a horse, the squeal of a snake, and the moo of a frog, and hear a loud fart and two gunshots, you may very well be the next victim, even though you are no pony.
[insert scary music]
Okay. Would you like to hear a story about Pony Place? Well, you're gonna hear it anyways. There was a place that was called Pony Place, and inside lived Yay the pony, Bob the pony, and Woo the pony. And that was it. There was three ponies in all of pony place.
This is a country? Or even a city?
The mayor lived in a big house, and he had lots of houses. The other ponies were homeless, because the mayor didn't let them live in the houses because he was greedy.
So, the mayor of pony place named Yay, decided there would be a reaping of the remaining population of Pony Place. And since he was also the sheriff, fire department, and judge of pony place, her decided his word was law. So he decided this new rule that the population of pony place would be reaped, male and female, and Bob was obviously a female and Woo is the male, so there was no other population of Pony Place.
Bob... is the girl?
So he then sent the two tributes to a place called Firing Pony Place Squad Ville, where they were then shot and killed, and they were then speared on poles in the backyard of the mayor of Pony Place's backyard, who was named Yay. And every Saturday morning, Yay went out to the bodies and peed on the poles, just for the heck of it. And he then lived a miserable and lonely life, where, in the end, he shot himself in the hoof with an assault rifle.
There goes the Everyone rating...
Since he doesn't have hands, he held the assault rifle in his mouth, but shot himself in the hoof because he couldn't aim with his mouth. So he jumped off the roof of his house. Now the abandoned pony place is now a graveyard for young teens to go adventuring when they want to be killed in the night, for there are many ghost stories of Yay, and his terrible aim.
His aim? What about the murder of the two ponies?!
So when teenagers would come out to Pony Place, they would hear the howl of a horse and the squealing of a snake and mooing of a frog. After they heard this, there would be a loud fart, a gun shot, and another gun shot, and then they would be ripped in half. And since they got ripped in half in Pony Place, they themselves became ghosts. Then all the ghosts went down to the place where Yay killed himself and then he would salt their foreheads and they go to the bodies of Bob and Woo and pee on them as a ceremony, every Saturday night.
Can I cry? Would that cause me to lose man hood? I don't think so...
But then, one day they decided to go rid the world of the other ponies to make everyone like themselves. So when they went after the other ponies, they were unprepared for the pony busters. These were like the pony version of Ghost Busters. All the ghost were immediately incinerated except for one. And that ghost was Yay. He decided to appear in the human world as a small toy, sold in any Wal-Mart in the small toy aisle for ten cents and wad of bubble gum.
Oh, and the fun continues!
There he met an over eager toddler who named him Flutterby. So, after being utterly humiliated by being stepped on, eaten by a dog twice, and run over by a car, he tried to move. And found his legs were plastic, along with the rest of his body.
He just figured this out?!
Then he found that he could still scream, so he started screaming, so the toddler threw him in the trash. After being compacted by a garbage truck, he decided that this world sucked, so he teleported back to Pony Place.
Really?!
After he came back, ponies started feeling a strange sensation that he was back. The military leaders of Ponytopia all convened in a military conference. Where they ate pickleberry jam and sang hymns to the Statue of Killamanjaro, which was a small mountain of crap. Nothing was decided because they never had to use their power before because it was always so peaceful. So they all died of fart overloads.
I have nothing left to say.
In the end, they decided to send the Pony Busters after Yay. The Pony Busters sadly died of old age by the time they decided to do something. So Yay roamed Ponytopia for the rest of eternity until the sun of Ponytopia went supernova. Right before it did, two new residents of Pony Place sent their baby to space where he landed in Equestria, where he came to be known as Super Pony. And so all of the existence of Ponytopia was wiped out.
The end!
Thank god!
Author's Note
I'm so sorry! I never should have done this! Please forgive me! It's all my friend's fault!!!
