The strange (And carnal) adventures of Rainbow Petunia “Danger” Dash

After stretching out my wings and other daily exercises, I fly down to sugar cube corner to have breakfast. “Heya Dashie!” Pinkie greets from midair

“Morning Pinks! How’s life on the ground?” I ask, flying through the open door to the only table with food

“Good, So! Got any plans today? ‘Cause I’m not doing much” Pinkie says, hugging me a bit closer than usual

“Yeah, I’m finally gonna tell her!” I whisper, giddy with excitement (In a cool way)

She seems to deflate a little “Oh… well, tell me how it goes and if it doesn’t work out-“ “Oh, it will, I can feel it! Thanks Pinkie, for all that you’ve done. I’ll send you the wedding invitations!” after scarfing down my food (Like a baws) I shoot out of the store, nearly crashing into Derpy

__________________________

“Twilight?” I call into the library, a snort from underneath a pile of books answering my call

Good, with Spike at Rarity’s, I can work my cooking magic! I think to myself, grabbing the ingredients for an omelet (In the shape of a heart)

__________________________

Something stirs in the book pile and my target trots into the kitchen “Smells good Spike… Spike? Spiiike? Where is he? Oh well, he must have come over to make me breakfast” she muses, sitting down when a note on the ice box with a heart on it catches her eye

“A heart? Must have been thinking of Rarit- ‘look… up’ wha-“ “BANZAI!” I yell, dropping from the ceiling and landing on her with an audible “Squish”

“Rainbow?! What are you doing?!” she asks, struggling

“Saying good morning to my favorite egg-head. I made you breakfast” I reply, rolling off her

“Well, that’s fine and all but why did you drop on me?” she asks, cocking her head

Oh Celestia she is adorable

“Duh, to wake you up! You have the privilege of hanging with the coolest mare in Ponyville! Me!” I strut around her, subtly lifting my tail and sashaying like I’d seen Rarity do

“Uh, I have work to do, why not hang with Pinkie or Applejack?” she asks, poking the omelet

I chuckle at her “The omelet isn’t a trick Twilight, and I made it for you” I wave the smell over

She starts to eat and after a few bites she tears into it like it’s the best she’s ever had. After she finishes, I point to a small bit on her nose. And before she can levitate a wash cloth, I lick it off, savouring her taste

She blushes “Th-thanks Rainbow…”

She leaves the kitchen after doing the dishes (Even though I offered to do it for her) and I fly over her “So, how can I help?”

She thinks for a moment and looks at the pile of books that was her tomb “Could you help me put some of these books on the shelf?”

I nod and go to work, making sure to catch glimpses of her as well as offering my own (Bending down while my tail is up, staring at her flanks when she checks her directory, you know, subtle)

I wipe my forehead of sweat “I really should make shelving part of my endurance and stamina routine”

“Wow, we got the shelving done fast, so…” she stiffens “What are you doing?”

I pull my muzzle off her head “Smelling you, I’m seeing if magic has a smell and something besides me smells sweaty” I reply, licking a wet spot on her coat

“Uh… This is kinda… intimate Rainbow” she whimpers, a blush blooming across her face

(Getting closer to the kill…) “You smell and look nice… how many ponies do you have banging at your door?” I ask, wrapping a foreleg around her neck

“N-none, I don’t get out much and I don’t think about romance much and- oh!” I sniff her ear and pull off her

“Yep, it’s you, you need a shower”

She blushes “W-Well… I guess that I forget to bathe when I study… When was the last time?”

That is so adorable! She’s even got that nose-scrunching that drives me insane

“Might as well get it over with, coming?” she asks, trotting up the steps

“What? As in… showering together?” I feel my wings stiffen

“Well of course, what else would I mean?” she cocks her head in the adorable way only she can do

“Uh, yeah! Yeah! Let’s go!” I say, trying to keep my mind pure

__________________________

When I step into the shower I avert my eyes from her butt Hey, how come there are tiles on the ceiling? Shouldn’t it be wooden like the rest of the library? And I like the sink, very Twilight. And pony plot… so… perfect… must… taste… KEEP IT TOGETHER RAINBOW DASH! It’s just a shower with the mare that has been the focus of all of your wet dreams and fantasies and PLOT! Perfectly puckered purple pony plot! Maybe I’ll try a little taste-NO! Bad Rainbow! Focus on something that isn’t her! Ceiling, sink, toilet-that-touches-her-gorgeous-flanks-at-least-twice-a-day-everyday, (I envy you toilet!) Ceiling, sink, toilet, eyes… wait, what?

“Are you okay Rainbow? You seem kind of distracted” she asks, her violet mane shining in the steam

“Y-yeah… just admiring the decorations. Why is the ceiling tiled anyways?”

“Well, the steam would saturate the wood, leading to blah blah and blah blah…” she starts to explain after turning back around. I’m not listening because I’m dealing with my own wetness. Subtly trying to rub an orgasm out with my hoof She has such nice lips…  I want to silence them with my own… to put that toilet to shame by being her disposal pony… I would scoop out her waste with my tongue and savor it… and drink her heavenly piss like water. I would please her wherever I go, even if it meant staying on the ground for all eternity

“Rainbow, are you even listening?” she nearly turns

“Y-Yeah, you said something about linoleum?” I reply, closing my legs (So… close…)

“Right! So, as I was saying…”

I go back to clopping I bet she would know how to care for a pegasus… I could be like a (Sexy)pet or a (Sexy)mare-slave… I wonder if- “and that’s why the ceiling is tiled” she says, shutting off the water

“Interesting…” I say, stepping out So… bucking… close!

“Are your wings okay?” she asks

“Huh? Oh! I’m just fanning you off! ‘Cause it’s hot in here!” Damn wing boner

She thinks for a moment and smiles

“Well” I slide next to her “What do we do now? Hot, nasty lesbian sex? I add mentally

“The library needs to open soon but Spike isn’t here” she looks at me with a pout (Or Twilight approximation)

“I’ll do it!” I say, leaping into the air

She nuzzles me “Come on, we’ve got work to do”

__________________________

“Do you have the newest issue of ‘Filly vogue’?” A vaguely familiar pink filly asks me

“Uh… Twilight!” I call, the lovely mare trotting with a magazine in her mouth “Here you go”

“Rainbow, do you want to do returns? You look through the book and put an ‘x’ in the ‘returned’ box” she says, trying not to sound condescending, I nod and pick up the book and my head begins to hurt “Twilight, I can’t read short-hoof”

“Sorry” her horn glows and the ink swirls into letters “Is that better?”

“Much, thanks egghead” I nuzzle her

After several hours of ponies coming in and leaving, Twilight closes the library and trots to the back, I following her and trying to get a glimpse at her hidden glory

“Thanks for the help Rainbow, you’re a good frie-Mmph?” I finally kiss her

“I love you Twilight Sparkle” I say, my face on fire

“I-Buh-Huh-NO! Nonononono!! I can’t! P-MMM?!” I shut her up, pushing her back a little

“I love you Twilight Sparkle” I repeat, the fire dying down “I love your soft, velvety lavender fur, your deep amethyst eyes, your cute snout that makes you snort in the most adorable way when you laugh” The snout in question is blooming red “Your smooth, well-kept mane with that streak drives me wild! Your body is the perfect mix of round and skinny, your personality makes me feel invincible! And your laugh is sweeter than the sweetest cake… I love you” I kiss her again and look into her eyes “Do you love me?”

“No! I mean, as a friend! That’s it!” She says, tears rolling down her face

I swallow my sadness (FRIENDZONE!) “Fine… But I won’t give up on you. I will convince you to love me” I brush my wing over her flank

She squeaks, her blush deepening

I look at her right in the eyes (Those sexy… quivering pools of amethyst…) and grab her face and kiss her, savouring her lips “MMMMNNNHHH!!!! MMmmnnnnhhhh…. Hmmmmm… mmm~” she relaxes and raises her hoof to hold my cheek. She parts her lips, her tongue caressing my own lips

I return her fervour with my own, (All those hours practicing with Pinkie finally paid off)

After several seconds (Or hours) she draws back, her face looking like Big Mac’s did when he saw that I had accidentally crashed into his bath (The rumours do NOT do him justice) “Wow…” she gasps

“Yeah… huh?” she licks my neck, planting kisses down my down it as she goes. But her petting of my mane is ruining the moment “Twilight, no offense, but unless you’re kissing me, don’t rub my mane”

She flinches and hides behind her bangs “Sorry, Cadences’ lessons only covered basic dating etiquette… but I had read some more… Intimate works of fiction” I can feel her blushing even harder NNGGHH!! MAH HEART!

I breathe out my involuntary squeal “Wanna go read a book on it?”

She nods into my shoulder “Uh-huh…”

“I’ll be here… waiting” I say, sitting on Spike’s beanbag