Dash walked around Ponyville aimlessly, having lost hope of ever finding out who she had sex with.

"What do I need ten dollars with anyway? I should just give it to Mac and give up."

She sighed, but her pity party was interrupted when she walked into something with huge curves and even bigger breasts.

"Heya, Dashie! You look upset! Does someone need a Help-Dashie-Feel-Better Party?"

Dash looked up at Pinkie, the bouncy girl being an inch taller than she was.

"Pinkie, did I have sex with you last night?"

Though it came out as more of a mutter, Pinkie heard her and answered with a simple 'nnnope!'.

Pinkie fished something out of her pocket and handed to Dash what looked like a crumpled up piece of paper.

Rainbow opened it to find a crude drawing of her naked before Pinkie swiped from her hands.

"Oopsies! Wrong one! I was teaching Pound Cake how to draw people! Here's the right one."

Pinkie thrusted another piece of paper into Dash's hands, then fled, possibly to get rid of the goods.

Written on the piece of paper, was a terribly written, awfully spelled word that took all of Dash's concentration, which is not a lot, to decipher.

"Applebooty, with what I can only guess is an apple." she read out loud, earning a few disgusted glares from old people who had nothing better to do than earwig and hope for something to shake their heads at.

She ignored them, whether it Was because she didn't have enough brain power to notice e or she was used to it, we'll never know, and raced off to Sweet Apple Acres.

Spike was milking a cow when he heard it. An extremely loud groan that can only mean on thing. Pain.

Spike stared at AJ, who was smacking her head of the cow in front of her.

"You alright?"

Two dull, green eyes stared back at him, one with a dark shiner which he almost flinched at.

Two slumped shoulders shrugged sheepishly, and AJ returned to head butting the cows side, cursing under he breath with each smack.

"Maybe we should take a break and find Mac, don't you think?"

"Right now Ah don't know if Ah can think, Spoon."

Spike ignored the fact AJ called him a spoon and got to his feet.

He hoisted Applejack onto his broad shoulders and carried her towards her house, ignoring the painful thumps to his spine.

When he entered the door, he was greeted by Dash, who seemed extremely glad to see AJ.

"Hey, AJ, did we have sex last night?"

AJ muttered something along the lines of, 'Ah'm going to fucking murder you the minute Spike lets me down you little pest.' and squirmed under Spike's tight grasp.

"Nope, I aint letting you down. Sorry Applejack."

He heard a polite 'fuck off' and climbed up the stairs to put AJ to bed and presumably, and hopefully, lock the door afterwards.

"Make sure to read her a bedtime story while your at it, Spike!" Dash snickered.

Another fuck off was heard, this time from both Spike and Applejack.

Then Mac came in.

She smirked at him and pressed a finger to his wide chest.

"I win, jerkwad. Hand over the money."

Mac silently grabbed Dash's arm and put it back to her side.

"Actually, Ah won."

Dash raised an eyebrow, but quickly remembered the state Fluttershy was in when she met her, and realized she lost.

"Alright, was it Fluttershy? If it was, then you definatly fucked her last night, and by fucked her, I mean fucked her up."

Mac chuckled sheepishly and shrugged.

"It's a long story...."

"I've got all day to hear it."

Mac scanned her for signs of sarcasm, but there were none, so he got started.

"I bet, I can fuck someone faster than you can fuck someone you big fucking floppy pancake."

Mac silently sipped his drink as Dash went on. He glanced over his shoulder at Applejack, who was beating the shit out of some poor chap for some reason. He winced when she got a left hook to the eye, but quickly turned back to Dash.

"We'll see who can get someone to fuck them faster and then we'll have fucking... Whatyamicallits, and we'll drink that barrel of cider you got in da burn and you'll give mwah a fifty dollah note and we can go home. 'Kay?"

Dash went on and on about the rules until she suddenly stopped and smirked. Mac followed her glance and saw Applejack giving the bartender the middle finger as she was escorted out of the bar. Dash grinned at Mac and grabbed her jacket drunkenly.

"That's my ride, Bitch."

She sauntered out the bar door and he could hear her calling 'Knock, knock' at Twilight's library, which was next to them.

He shook his head and left for the barn to get his money and the barrel of cider. Sure, he never agreed to the bet, but he didn't really give a shit then.

On his way to Dashes house, he noticed Fluttershy standing at her door in all her shy glory.

"It was a bet." he thought, "Just pretend your drunk and see if you can get laid."

He staggered over to Fluttershy, being a surprisingly good actor, and knocked at Dash's door harshly and loudly.

He sighed with relief when no one answered and said to Fluttershy in a faked drunken slur, "We should have sex.".

He heard her squeak but didn't stop there. He placed the barrel and fifty dollar note at her door and lifted Fluttershy up in his strong arms and carried her to her house, where they preceded to have sex.

Mac woke the next day without a hangover, as he didn't drink much that night.

He turned to the hot girl beside him and smiled.

"Eyupp!"

Author's Note

That's right, bitches. Script is back and ready to dish out the goods. This is a rewritten Dirty Bets ending, writthen by who else than drink Script?!

You have been warned, the only thing keeping my spelling in check is autocorrect. That's not much.

Also, funny thing, the spoon part of the story actually hadppened to me. My dad looked at me when he was drunk and goes, "Spoon, go knock off the lights. My head is fucking killing me."