The Sole Survivor of a Diseased Planet

          Grass...so soft, so green, so... wait a minute!

"GRASS!?!"

          Opening my eyes, my thoughts were confirmed.  I am lying in a field of fresh, green grass.  Rubbing my eyes, I checked again, but nothing had changed.  I took a look around me, and saw numerous trees, dark and impenetrable by sight.  Looking back towards my front, I begin to stand up.

In front of me is the ruins of what seems to be an old castle.  Looking around a little more, I find Fido about 30 yards away, powered down, but seemingly undamaged.

          "Fido, power up!"  I yell, checking myself for any injuries.  After finding none, I look back towards Fido, who is now moving towards me.  The robot's movement was unimpaired, which is good.  The voice commands were obviously still functional.  The only noticeable difference is that he seemed to be...glowing.

          "Fido, what's causing that glow around you?"  I question, a might bit confused.

"Based on what I can tell, it is the amount of energy I am taking in.  The air in the area is very minimally polluted, and the sunlight, while scarce due to the forestry, is powerful.  The reading I have taken indicate that this could not possibly be Earth, and that there I but two intelligent life forms present within the area, being you, and one in the ruins over there."  He states, pointing towards the odd ruins in question.

          "Wait...not Earth?  Then where in the fucking universe are we?!  I'm going to get answers!"  I say, checking my shotgun to be sure it is fully loaded still, I turn towards the ruins.  Fido walking closely behind me, we walk through the gates.  As we approach the ruins themselves however, Fido suddenly stops.

          "What the hell are you stopping for, we're here to get some damn answers, and I'm going to get them one way or another!"  I say, hoisting my shotgun up pointedly.

          "John... turn around slowly, and make no sudden movements..." Fido says, following which I hear the immediate click of his mounted gun activating.

Oh...that can't be anything good.  Before I could even begin to turn, I felt a force fall upon me.

          "What creature is this under me?  Is it a newcomer to the Everfree?"

"That depends, what's the Everfree?"

          "The Everfree forest, but of course, where might I find your birth source?"

"The planet Earth, what fake place is this?"

          "The planet name I cannot reveal, but Equestria is certainly real!"

"Okay, so can you get off of me now?  This is really starting to hurt."

          "I would be glad to get off of you, if you would tell me who I'm speaking to."

Fucking really?!

          "The names John, now get off!"  I say, finally trying to get up, which I find to be surprisingly easy.

"Strong you are, my newfound friend, but violence was not needed in the end!"  She says, obviously angry.  I turn around to finally look at this mysterious woman, but what I see is...

          "A zebra?!?!  Oh, I get it, this is some kind of joke.  A talking zebra, very funny!  Where are you, mysterious woman?!"

"I assure you this is no joke, but it seems that you are broke."  She says, staring at me.

          "What the hell?!  Why can you talk and... wait, broke?"

"Well, you look poor, from what I can tell, it seems fate has not done you well."

          "I did just come from a diseased planet, and if my calculations are correct I'm the only survivor.  Even still, I'm dying, so it won't be long before there are none of us left."  I say, being depressed as can be expected.

          "Dying?  Well, that is bad news, perhaps you should try one of my brews."  She says, mentioning to follow.

Fucking really?  Well, not like I have anything better to do.

          "Okay, but first, I have to know who you are."

"Ah, yes, my name is Zecora, and I mix up brews with the local flora."

          "Alrighty then, Fido, disengage and follow me."  With that, I hear the familiar click of the safety of his weapon activating, and we follow that magical talking zebra.