Here within the Dark

Tortured Soul

Within darkness, pain and suffering resides. Anger and rage do nothing but torture you, increasing the torment. Sadness pulls you further into the depths of suffering. For so long, all I have known is the dark. For so long, I have endured the torture of loneliness. I have searched for a way out to find the light. I may have found it finally. And yet, the light of love burned like fire as I was rejected. Or did I reject it? I have been in the dark for so long, have I become content in my suffering? Am I the reason that I suffer so much?

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Blackwing trudges through the muck of the forbidden forest as darkness surrounds and presses down on him. The burden of isolation is exasperated as the denizens of the vile land keep their distance, eying the lone wanderer. Even a place such as this rejects one who is like the creatures within. As the pegasus bat wanders through the foul vegetation he cannot help but wonder about the nature of such a place. Is it truly the land of evil that so many claim? Or is it simply the fear of the unknown or that which is different? Either way, it is a place more befitting the lone pony than the supposed town of friendship.

As he moves deeper into the dark forest the path becomes harsher, more lonesome. The solitude hangs over as a familiar demon, one which refuses to leave yet is content to remain in its place and pursue no further. The pegasus bat has grown used to this demon over the years though it does not ease his suffering. The weight of the loneliness crushes him now more than ever, threatening to destroy him where he stands. For years he fought against it, now he embraces it. Now he accepts his cruel fate.

A soft rustling from the bushes stops Blackwing in his tracks. He searches for its source to see movement within the foreboding tree line. Expecting to see a Timberwolf or some other dark inhabitant emerge, he is shocked as he watches the yellow mare appear from the shadow of the dark forest charging at a near gallop and skids to a halt, stopping just short of colliding with the pegasus bat.

The two ponies stare into the other’s eyes for what feels like hours. A bizarre sensation surges through Blackwing like some sort of warm chill. His body shutters as his emotions stir and shift. He watches the mare’s face flush red as she quickly scurries back a few steps and begins to shift and fidget. The storm of emotions takes a heavy toll on the pegasus bat, causing him to feel nauseous. He tries to hide and bury the unfamiliar feelings under his rage and anger but only succeeds in strengthening the storm.

“What do you want and why did you follow me?” Blackwing asks, struggling to draw upon his anger and hide the other emotions that torment him.

The mare stares down at the ground as she fidgets, brushing a hoof across the ground. Her face relaxes from the previous bright red yet her voice still quivers. “I…You wouldn’t let me apologize.”

“Well now you have so leave me alone!” Blackwing demands and turns to leave, desperate to end the storm of emotions that ravages him.

“Marigold.”

Blackwing stops and turns back, staring in blatant confusion at the spontaneous word. “What?”

The mare shifts again in agitated embarrassment with an awkward smile across her face. “My name is Marigold. You asked earlier but I didn’t tell you.” She continues her fidgeting as red begins to flood her face once more. “So…what’s your name?”

“Blackwing,” the pegasus bat says, shocked at how willing he was to tell his name. The emotional storm surges stronger than ever, slamming him in the gut. For having been so angry at everything, he finds a sense of ease softly tapping at the door of his heart. Yet that emotional storm rages still. His eyes fill with confused tears as he quickly turns and leaves. “I’m sorry.”

Blackwing charges through the forest as those cursed tears stream down his face. They burn and chill with no means to identify them as the tears of wrath or sorrow. Perhaps they truly are tears of confusion and chaos. The anger and wrath that he once felt is now diluted within the storm of chaotic emotions. There is only one emotion he can identify, fear.

What is it that I fear? Have I truly become so content with being alone that I fear being with another?

He slows his charge and swaggers as the raging storm within him makes him more nauseous. He leans against a tree to keep from collapsing. His breathing is heavy and ragged. The surge within turns his stomach and wrenches at his throat, threatening to cause him to vomit. Confusion plagues his mind and his vision begins to blur. The tears streak down his face, scraping and chilling his cheeks before dripping to the ground with a near audible sound.

Blackwing looks around at the dark, forbidding forest. He is lost both in surroundings and within himself. He braces against the tree with his wings and struggles to stand. His legs shudder with one leg buckling underneath causing him to drop to a knee. He fights his weary state and growing exhaustion and lifts himself up, once again bracing against the tree. The pegasus bat inches forward, finally releasing the tree, and continues on into the dark woods. There is neither destination nor direction, only the need to move.

Time seems to slow and darkness seems to grow. The seconds feel like minutes and the minutes feel like hours. Still the pegasus bat moves on, stumbling and swaying in his nausea from the storm of emotions that batters his weary mind. Every step, every breath, every twitch of each muscle is labored and painful. The tears that streak down his face burn and chill. They grind and scrape as they slide down before dripping to the ground below. He moves his lips to speak but no sound emerges.

So lost. So confused. Please help me.

Finally, Blackwing comes to a clearing in the desolate woods. Before him lies the ruins of an old castle. A rickety bridge of wooden planks strung together by old rope spans the chasm that stands between him and the ancient dwelling. The dark of night builds as the sun now sits below the horizon and the moon takes its place in the night sky. The pegasus bat creeps across the swaying bridge, hardly mindful of each step, and soon emerges on the other end. A familiar sight gives Blackwing pause.

Before him stands the princess of the night in all her royal beauty. Her horn glows deep blue as she moves the moon into place. Yet a tear softly slides down her lovely cheek. Once finished placing the moon, Princess Luna turns to face the misshapen pony before her. Sorrow and pain fill her face and her cheeks show signs of the tears that have recently scarred her beloved face. She looks at Blackwing with a look of care and pity that pierces his very soul.

Finally, the dam breaks. After years of torment and solitude, years of anger and hatred building within, years of pain, the sorrow is finally released. Those wondrous tears of sorrow and sadness burst forth from Blackwing’s eyes and flood his face falling to the ground like a mighty waterfall. The tears cool and sooth his tortured face, healing the wounds of anger and wrath. Yet the confusion and chaos that hounds him lace those welcome tears. Blackwing gives in to the weariness and drops to the ground. He buries his head within his forelegs and weeps.