Here within the Dark

The One Who is Lost

Those who have been lost at sea or lost in a desert know the loneliness and fear that comes with being lost. To look around and see the same unending scene in all directions, to feel the weight of being on your own. I feel that way every day. For me, I am lost at sea, struggling to stay afloat as the ships sail by, never once seeing the drowning soul. I am the desert wanderer, trying to get to the oasis only to watch it vanish before my eyes or draw farther away, taunting me. Each day I sit in darkness watching small lights float by, always out of reach. I have given up hope on being saved.

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Rage fills the very being of Blackwing as he steps out of his home. The sadness he wishes to release has been buried deep inside covered over by his wrath and hatred of every other pony who shuns or ignores him. He saw light yesterday but even that light, that one chance at hope, was snuffed out in an instant. All his life he has lived in the darkness of solitude, watching helplessly as comfort and joy were stolen away or dangled in front of him only to vanish and reveal a cliff leading to deeper solitude. No more will he stand for the darkness that haunts him while others dance in the light, mocking him. If he cannot have the light, then neither shall any other pony.

A soft noise causes the pegasus bat to turn back. Before him is the pegasus mare he saw yesterday standing up from the grass in front of the house. Her mane is matted with a few blades of grass stuck to her face. She stands on the bed of grass staring at Blackwing carefully brushing the grass off her face and brushing her mane with her wings. Blackwing simply stares back in rage and anger but cannot seem to bring forth his full wrath against the one who had given him hope only to vanquish it. On her face is a look of sorrow and regret.

“Um…I’m sorry about yesterday,” she says in a soft and gentle voice. “I shouldn’t have acted like that. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

Blackwing tries to respond but his emotions are caught in a storm. Her reaction to him had aroused more anger than any pony before but she was the first to speak to him, even apologize for her reaction. Her appearance alone arouses other emotions once again which blends with his rage, diluting it and causing chaos. He does not know what to think or how to act and remains quiet.

“Why do you live so far away?” she asks, looking at the simple house.

“It’s better that way,” he replies with almost no control over his actions now. “No pony wants me around anyway.” He turns to leave but is stopped short by the mare’s next statement.

“It’s a lovely home.”

The storm of emotions builds within the pegasus bat. Unable to understand his own thoughts and feelings, his anger continues to boil. This time it is directed inward. He spins around and shouts at the yellow mare. “Who are you and why are you here?”

“I wanted to apologize for how I acted yesterday,” the mare replies, never changing her tone despite being shouted at. She brushes a strand of hair out of her face as a somber look falls across her face. “Why are you so sad?”

The question strikes Blackwing straight in his heart. The storm of mixed emotions becomes more agitated, making him feel nauseous. Was he really sad? For all the anger he has shown this pony so far, she asked why he was sad. Despite the anger and rage, she could see the sadness buried deep within his soul. The part of him that cried out to others only to be pushed further into darkness. Once again, it reaches out to the glimmer of light and hope only to be pushed back once more, this time by himself.

“What do you know about me?” he yells, he face boiling over with rage. “What does any pony know about me? Nothing!”

Stop. He calls out to himself attempting to put aside his anger.

“Every pony ignores me or despises me! Every pony goes about their happy lives while I sit alone! How could you understand the torment I go through every day?”

What was he doing? How could he push away his one chance at peace, his one chance to rid himself of the suffering and darkness? Yet the damage was done. He is truly beyond saving.

“But-” the mare begins before being cut off by Blackwing.

“No! You don’t understand anything!” he screams before turning and charging off. It didn’t matter where he went, as long as he was alone. But was that really what he wanted? Tears begin to streak down his face, burning him like fire. Were these the tears of sorrow he so desperately desired or more tears of rage? They must be of wrath for it is the only emotion to harm the one feeling it more than those around.

Blackwing takes to the sky and continues to flee farther and farther, never turning back. He stares straight ahead as the tears of wrath continue to sear his face. Confusion stirs within his mind as the storm of emotions rages on, threatening to split his head asunder. Finally, he lands just outside of the Everfree Forest. A forest of darkness and terror, a place just like him. Such a place of dark magic must hold some key to giving him what he wants, what he deserves. As much as his heart desires to go back to the mare and her soft, caring eyes, he cannot bring himself to even turn and look back. Nothing matters now. Nothing ever did and nothing ever will. The pegasus bat enters the forbidden forest, blending into the dark vegetation and vanishing within its vile mist.

Just outside stands the princess of the night, Princess Luna. She stares at the mangled opening with worry, inwardly begging and pleading for the tortured soul to return. He has gone down a treacherous path, one which only leads to more suffering.

“Is this what you believe is the right path oh tortured one? Have you truly lost all hope?”

She moves forward, following the poor pony through the dark tunnel of vegetation. Hopefully, there is still time to save him. Hopefully, she can restore his broken spirit and bring him back from the path of hatred. The princess knows full well that there is always hope, even when all hope seems lost.