A Hero Returns

I was currently walking down the halls of the great castle I had found myself in. I am currently being guided by the apparent ruler of said castle, Princess Celestia. After the whole ordeal in my recovery room she had explained to me, at least the abridged version, how she and her sister had found me with the help of their archaeology team. While she was explaining something I probably should pay attention to I, instead, ignored her completely, stood up and walked over to a mirror on the other side of the room. I looked over myself to make sure nothing had went wrong with the cryo sleep.

My skin was still a healthy reddish olive if a bit pale, my long, straight, jet black hair fell passed my shoulders down to the middle of my back, just how I left it. I didn't have any facial hair, none ever grew in, sure as hell saved money on razors and shaving creme. Something did surprise me though, I had dark brown eyes last time I checked what greeted me were a pair of mesmerizing navy blue orbs. To be completely honest I liked blue eyes but that still doesn't change the fact that I was really confused about how this came about. While I intensly observed my eyes coming up with a hundred different hypotheses about how this change came into play, all that was shattered when I heard these words from my forgotten guest.

"...and we have prepared a banquet to honor your gre-"

"What there's food? Why didn't you say so earlier? let's go!" I say as I run and grip the doorknob fling it open and take off down the hall. About a second later I realized I had no idea where I was going so I ran back kicked the door open where I again succeeded in startling the princess and yelled.

"I have no idea where I am going! Please help me!" It took her a second to register what I was asking, then she hurried out the door.

"Y-Yes sir r-r-right thi-"

"Please, please don't call me sir, makes me feel like an old ass man, and granted by how many years I've been alive I am technically an old ass man but still I don't like being addressed like one"

"W-well then hero what should I address you as?" she asked.

"Look calm down, believe me when I say I should be the more freaked out one here, just take a deep breath and talk to me like anyone else, and you can call me Mark, Mark Crow" I say smiling.

She did in fact seem to calm down at my words and I was happy about that, I have to admit, the nervous stuttering was starting annoy a little bit.

We walked a bit more I noticed that there was no one else around, I found very bizarre considering this is a castle I mean where are the guards? Either security is extremely lax or someone is in some serious shit. A little farther and we came to a pair of huge double doors. I walked up to open them for the princess when I noticed a glowing golden aura surround them. I turned back and see that the princesses horn was incased in the same golden aura.

"Well, now that we have arrived," she said with a smile, "Dinner is served!"

I turned back to face the doors as they opened and what I saw I could not describe with words. There laid out before me was a long medieval style table filled with food! A single tear rolled down my face as I looked upon probably the most beautiful thing I had ever seen in the past hour of being conscious. Spaghetti, salad, vegetarian pizza, fresh fruit, it all looked amazing! However, with the force of a thousand wooden spoon strikes from a mexican grandma, I realized something, there is no meat! At first I thought it was some kind of horrific mistake by whoever laid out the spread but I remembered, they're horses! Horses are herbivores! And that makes me a very sad human, however I chose not to dwell on it cuz it will make me cry, cry like a fat kid who just missed the ice cream man.

I immediately ran and grabbed a plateful of some of the pasta when I noticed movement to my left. I saw the princess, my gracious host and curator of this blessing from heaven, sitting to the far end of the table. That was when my inner voice spoke up.

'The hell do you think your doing!? Get over there and apologize for being a disgusting pig, thank her for the food, then eat like you have some goddamn sense inside that thick skull!'

...my inner voice is mean...

In an instant I set my plate down and quickly made my way over to my hostess.

"I am so sorry for acting like a pig, and thank you very much for the food I can't tell you how much I'm grateful for what you've provided for me here today" I said with a small apologetic bow.

I peeked upward to see if she had accepted my apology or not. From what I could see she was very confused.

"Why are you apologizing?" She asked with a kind smile, "just eat, I would if I were you"

With that I immediately took off and started filling my plate. I got just about everything my plate could hold without making a mess. I made my way over to where Celestia was and took a seat. I started to eat and I have to say it was nothing short of delicious. The vegetables were all crunchy and fresh, the fruit was juicy, the only way this could be better was if I had I nice steaming steak in front of me. Half way through my meal I noticed the princess wasn't eating.

"Hey princess wh-"

"Please, call me Celestia, i-if you wouldn't mind that is" she said slightly hiding behind her mane. Well how can I say no to that?

"Uh, no problem Celestia, uh why aren't you eating?"

"Oh i'm not hungry" she said back to me

Blasphemy! You must always eat when given the chance, even if its just a little bit.

"Nonsense, here let me get you a plate" I insisted

"No You don't have to do that"

I immediately froze while loading a healthy pile of salad on her plate, and adopted an offended look.

"Y'know, if a Native American offers you food and you reject it its the equivalent of spitting in their face" I say with may eyes piercing hers.

Celestia had a shocked look, my eyes never left hers...even while I was still putting food on her plate.

"I-I am so sorry I didn't know I-"

"Or something or other, I don't know, just eat your food" I could not control how large of a shit eating grin I got as I looked at her face, I'm sorry but sometimes you just gotta mess with people.

Celestia looked down at her plate then, then back to me i doubt she knew what the hell just happened to her. In the end she just giggled and ate her food, yes! Mission accomplished.

After that we ate for a while. When I had ended clearing about half the table I decided it was time for some much needed answers.

"So I have a question"

Celestia looked up at me with some spaghetti hanging out of her mouth. Adorable.

"I'd like to know what I've missed so please enlighten me"

We ended up sitting there for at least two hours as she filled me in on what her kingdom was and how she believed it came about.

"Ah, so I had something to do with it huh, well I'm just happy that that little guy was ok, knew he was a scrapper but jeeze he ended up building all this?! Pretty damn impressive" I proclaimed.

"Yes it is quite amazing isn't it?" She answered back.

"You wanna know what is even more amazing? The fact that this world is now populated by animals straight outta myth and legend, I mean unicorns? Pegasi? This is incredible!" I yelled. This seriously blew my goddamned mind! I mean seriously, who else gets this kinda chance huh? Granted I'm a former champion of the spirits and have generally had crazy shit happen to him on a bi-weekly basis but still, this is crazy even for me. What else was interesting was that Celestia finally started to loosen up around me, which was great.

Celestia started to tell me about recent events. I was shocked to hear about her sister but happy that they had resolved their issues. She spoke of a group of ponies who were, from what I gathered, avatars for six legendary artifacts known as the Elements of Harmony, and together they had defeated her sisters corrupted 'Nightmare Moon' form, as well as some evil being known as discord, huh he sounds familiar... Celestia also told me that she has a pupil, someone by the name of Twilight Sparkle, she is the avatar of magic and therefore has great potential. However this was when things started to go south for me, Celestia started talking about announcing my existence to the world, to let all of equestria and all the outlaying lands know about me and my apparent legend. She had a look of wonder on her face that I almost didn't break her bubble.

"Celestia, you can't do that" I said with finality.

That stopped her dead in her tracks.

"What? But why? I would think that you would want recognition for all that you have done for this world, we would not be here without you!"

"Ok I need you to stop right there"

"W-what?"

"Look, I appreciate all that your willing to do for me but I don't wanna be found out, I just wanna live a life of peace" I took on a distant look as painful memories flashed before me.

"I've known recognition and stardom for far too long, now I just wanna live as if I never did"

Moments passed before either of us said anything to each other. I heard a sigh and saw her turn to me. Then she asked me, "Well, what do you want to do?"

I really had to think about that one.

"I don't know, maybe go somewhere quiet, with nice people, then just live my life."

For the first time since I met her, I saw Celestia grin, a grin I've only seen myself have when I was thinking of a way to mess with someone...I don't think I like that.

"I think I have just the place for you Mark."