The Moon and I

Day 5

Entry 1

We're about to leave. I've rebriefed Luna on what we need to do, and she knows. Her part is really just 'look inconspicuous'. I packed her in the box that the comics came in and poked breathing holes on the bottom so she can breathe and see a bit. Then I made a false top and put a few of the comics in it so that if anyone saw the top open they wouldn't see Luna. Then the whole thing goes into the passenger seat and myself in the driver's seat.

I'll see you at work.

Entry 2

Well, that was uneventful. No one even glanced at me and Luna stayed perfectly silent inside. We got to my desk and I put the comics behind my monitor, double checked that the door was closed, and pulled Luna out.

She was content to sit in my lap for the first few minutes, but then she got bored and started wandering around. I just noticed that she uses her nose a lot. She sniffed around the room, just like Jitters in a new place, and found ways to entertain herself. I did most of my work for the day in the first couple of hours, so I shot off an email to my boss, asking if he had anything else that needed doing. He replied that there was and gave me a few more tasks. Before I started on them I played with Luna a bit, and lowered the easel in the corner to the floor so she could use it. She's been doing that since.

Right now I'm debating showing my boss Luna. I don't want many people to know, but it feels mean to have a character from a show he loves right there and keep her from him. I'm certain that've wouldn't tell, but... Well, paranoia' swerved me well before.

Someone's coming. I need to go back to work.

Entry 3

That was Dana the intern asking where we kept the printer paper. How anticlimactic.

Anyway, I think I'll tell my boss eventually, but not now. Maybe I should stop by his place and ask what he'd do if he met one of the characters from the show. I can deal with that later. For now, there is work to be done.

Luna drew a cute picture of her curled into a ball. I'm not sure how she can draw so well, but there's a lot I don't know about her. Hopefully I'll find out eventually.

Aw, she's fallen asleep. I'll keep her in my lap.

I've gotten another task done, too. At this rate I should be able to leave a few hours early. I'm oddly excited to play with Luna more.

I think I'll take a nap first, when I get home, though. I'm pretty tired. I'll write more when I wake up.

Entry 4

So the boss called me in to ask why I brought in a box this morning. I talked myself out of it; I don't remember what I said, but I will if I need to. I always do.

See, it's things like that which make me certain that I'm not a good dad. I literally built my career in the military off of extracting information, and that meant a good deal of lies so I wouldn't give anything away by accident, and I don't feel bad about lying. I feel nothing when someone dies if I don't know them. I care a lot about Luna, but I don't know if it's because I love her or that I have no one else to love.

I don't need to write about this. It's my own problem to deal with.

Entry 5

And I slept through the rest of the day and woke up just now, at sunset. Luna's looking out at the moon as it rises. It's... oddly beautiful. I don't think I've ever really looked at the moon; just stood there and watched it rise. I'm gonna go sit by my little Luna. By my daughter.

I think I know why she's looking at the moon.

Entry 6

She's already developed the ability to see into dreams, she said, but she can't control it very well. She... She's seen my dreams. My nightmares, I'd say, but I'm excited during them. And she's terrified. It keeps her up. Gods, I feel terrible. It-- I don't-- Even when I don't try I still hurt her. Fucking hell. What made me think I was good to be a dad? What madness inspired that idea? I'm a fucking interrogator. I torture people and backstab them and lie and cheat and hurt and kill and I do it all with a big fucking genuine smile.

I think I'll go cry for a little. I'm not sure if I can bring myself to ever sleep again. I...

Fuck.

I just...

I'm going to sleep. Or at least I'm gonna try.