You Will Not Fear

The lone pony wanders through the town of simple buildings and market stalls. The town is a familiar scene with many buildings of an old and simple style along with an array of different ponies all around. Each stares at the pony in awe and wonder, curiosity and confusion, breaking the cycle of monotony that defines the life of those living in a town such as this. The pony stares back in mirrored curiosity and confusion wondering what has broken the scene of simplicity.

Before long the pony happens upon a fountain adorned with the sculpture of another pony. The statue is generic and unknown. The pony stares at the churning waters to see a purple pony boasting a long horn on her head and beautiful wings sprouting from her back. The lone pony ponders the one in the moving water as she mimics each movement of the wanderer.

I know this pony. Who is she? Is that me? Then who am I?

The realization of the forgotten memory instills fear on the wandering pony. She stares at the pony in the water in a vain effort to recall the fleeting name, but the name eludes her. The knowledge and the memory is simple but vital. Without knowing her name the pony is lost and afraid. Darkness encroaches into her mind as she searches its vast depths for the name only to find a void.

Fear overwhelms the wanderer as tears build in her eyes. She looks around to see the inhabitants of the simple town approaching her. Their faces are filled with worry but the pony only sees strangers. Each pony is unknown to her. That very knowledge further stimulates the terror she feels.

“Stay back. Please leave me alone. Go away!”

The wanderer flees the scene, charging through the simple town in a desperate attempt to find solitude. A place to think and remember. A familiar sight provides her with the place she seeks. Before her is a large tree, carved out with windows and doors. Next to the main door is a small statue of a pony, of her but younger and without wings. A plaque sits below, telling that the tree was once destroyed but was rebuilt as a place to learn from the past and remember where each pony once began. The lone pony tugs on the door and swiftly enters, slamming the door shut to escape the terror.

Within the old tree the pony finds numerous books lining the many shelves. The multitude of books is a mix of old and new, some bearing the wear of many years. The pony goes to take one of the many books. Perhaps they will trigger a memory, something to tell her the name that eludes her. She jumps as one of the books is enveloped by a purple glow and slides out on its own. She watches as the glow dissipates, leaving the book to fall to the floor.

What happened? Did I do that?

She looks down at the fallen book. On one page is a picture of six gems, each a different color. Within the text are the words, “The Elements of Harmony.” As if on cue, countless images flood the pony’s mind each a mix of terrifying and happy, exciting and mundane. But the sheer volume of memories returning all at once frightens the pony who sits alone in the room of books. They are her memories, but each is unknown to her.

Make it stop! It’s too much, make it stop!

She drops to the floor and covers her head, struggling to control the flow of the vast amount of information filling her head. She screams in anguish, her head feeling as though it should burst. Tears well up in her eyes and flow out of pain, sorrow, and fear.

The pony watches as images of happiness and joy quickly fade away, replaced by images of death and sorrow. She grasps at the memories of life, desperate to maintain her dwindling sanity only to watch them slip from her grasp and vanish before her eyes. Scenes of destruction, pain, and death fill her mind exasperating the agonizing pain in her head.

“No more! Please, no more!”

Her cries are drowned out by the suffering in her mind as she watches the numerous ponies from her life live and die. Each one, regardless of the fullness of life, always ends in death, leaving the pony to suffer the pain of loss alone. The cold touch of the endless darkness envelops her as she weeps for those who have left this mortal plane. The blackness blocks her vision as she sits alone.

Who am I? What are all these images? Why is there so much pain and death in this life?

A gentle knocking arouses her fear once again. She looks over at the door where the knocking originates. She quickly moves to a corner in fear of what may enter. Such simple things that have caused so much pain in such a short time. What other terrors could she face should the door open?

“Go away! Stay away from me!”

She cries out as she weeps, huddled in the hidden corner. The door eases open with a soft creak as light beams into the tree of books. The pony curls into a ball, covering her head with her hooves desperately trying to muffle her cries. The images of pain and death continue to berate her in the dark corner as she listens to the sound of hoof steps crossing the room. Her weeping betrays her causing the steps to draw closer.

No, go away! Leave me alone!

She feels a gentle touch and begins to flail about at the intruder. Her heart races, threatening to burst from her chest. Her head throbs from the multitude of images that bombard her, making her head feel like it is about to be split asunder. Her flailing hooves beat at wind until they cease their movement without her consent. She nearly faints out of fear until a soft embrace surrounds her and a gentle voice calls to her.

“Princess Twilight, I know you are frightened but it’s alright. Everything is alright. I’m here and there is no more reason to be afraid.”

She looks through her tear filled eyes at the one who holds her gently to see a white unicorn wearing a set of blue and gold armor. She knows him. Her mind is instantly at ease at the knowledge of something present. The elusive name returns to her mind as the haunting memories fade away, taking the last of the memories of joy with them. The pony doesn’t care as the knowledge of the present is more important now than the knowledge of the past.

Princess Twilight Sparkle. I remember again. And he is Silver Spear.

Twilight wraps her hooves and wings around Silver Spear and weeps. Her sorrow flows from her like a raging river into the vast ocean. She grips the unicorn guard tightly, never wanting to let go and lose the precious memory of the present. Her only words are words of apology.

“I’m so sorry. I never meant to hurt you but I forgot. I forgot so much and then…then…I was so scared.”

“You don’t have to apologize princess,” he says as he caresses her mane. “As long as I am here for you, you have nothing to fear.”

The princess can do nothing but weep. Silver Spear is silent. He holds her close, caressing her soft mane as she sobs. The crying echoes through the old tree while the two ponies sit in the dark corner.

Why must my life be full of suffering? Why must I be tortured by the pains of the past?

Several minutes pass as Twilight continues to cry. Each passing minute feels like an hour as it passes and a second once it is gone. She continues to cling to Silver Spear in a desperate attempt to avoid the sorrow of the past and the terror of the future. While she goes through life free of the sting of death, those around her are not as fortunate. Each one lives and dies. Is death as painful and frightening as living to watch them die? Or is eternal life in this world the real pain? While death is full of pain and terror, does it not last for but a moment?

A thought reaches the mind of the princess. Perhaps her life is not as eternal as it seems. While she has lived for so long, all things around her soon die. Perhaps one day she too shall die and be free of the suffering of this life. The thought of her own death and the prospect of witnessing more sends a violent chill down her spin, causing her to cling harder to the warm presence who embraces her.

“Do not die,” she says. Silver Spear is silent ask she speaks, unable to respond to such a request. “I have gained so much only to lose it all in the end. I have witnessed far too much pain and death that I fear that one day I shall not fear my own death out of acceptance or fact rather than comfort. Until the day of my death, I do not wish to lose any more.”

The guard releases her from the embrace and stands as her inner mind begs for the warmth and safety to return. Twilight looks up with a tinge of fear to see a warm smile on his face as he holds out a hoof.

“It is time to return home.”

She accepts the aid and stands, following him out the door, leaving the familiar yet haunting home of books. The smile said everything that his words left out. He knew he could not follow the order but would do everything in his power to provide the aid she requested. Though it does not dispel her fears completely, it does provide a temporary relief. Her fears of the future are pushed aside as she focuses on the present.

Author's Note

This chapter was written before the Season Four Finale. I wanted to use the library home because of its significance to Twilight's life. I had to make some slight changes after the finale when the library is destroyed so I had it rebuilt as it was supposed to be a reminder of where she began. I did not want to rewrite the entire chapter to use her new castle, but I will get there in due time.