Revenge Is A Wurm

"Alright...."

"And be sure to tell them to wait until I get there!"

"I already told them."

"Good...um...thank you...."

I rubbed my face, wishing for a way to hang up without being rude, "It's fine...have a nice day."

"Um...yes.... You're a good pony...."

I turned to the door to my mother's den, "Thank you ma'am...."

"...You sound nice...."

I rubbed my temples, "Ma'am...please don't hit on me."

"...But...I- ...okay.... Bye."

"Goodbye." I hung up, turning to the den with a loud groan, "Fluttershy why!?" I groaned, assured that the rumors of her strange attraction to Satyrs was true. I wandered towards the other room, practically limping, "Torque, beer?"

Torque grumbled and folded her forelegs, leaning back in her chair. "Get it yourself...."

"Someone's still butthurt!" I yelled, yanking a beer from the holder and plopping down next to my fellow dismissed guard. "I said I'd help out--"

Torque flared her wings out, slapping me across the back of the head, "You also had a wurm molest me!"

I shrugged, "You also nearly killed me...so...I'm willing to call it even." I opened the beer and took a drink, "Oh god...this tastes like piss."

Torque grumbled and stuck a bottle between the couch cushions, "What do you expect? They don't sell you the good stuff until you're twenty."

I scratched my head, "How do you even- you're younger than me!"

Torque scooted away from me. "Look...just shut up. I don't--"

"I just sent Equestria's biggest animal rights activist to save a Tatzlwurm! Show me a little respect!" I stated, standing up and setting the crappy bottle aside.

Torque crossed her forelegs, "You also told it to...violate me."

I shrugged deeply, holding the pose for a few moments, "I did do that...but you did cum pretty hard...."

torque grew bright red, either from rage or embarrassment, "Oh, so that makes it okay!?"

"Does fear make it okay to leave me for, near, certain death!?"

"But you didn't die! I got...I got things...." She shifted around in her seat, "...I have to be honest...the grossness bugs me more than anything else...cause...did it even know what it was doing?"

"Oh yeah." I ducked down to meet her face to face, "She knew...I think."

Torque grew flustered, "So- you just told it to rape me!?"

"Did you just run the fuck away when I needed your help!?"

Torque thrust her head out to me, "You told it to rape me!"

I leaned in, meeting her eye to eye, "You left me for dead!"

Torque narrowed her gaze, "You're just a pervert...."

"And you're a traitor...."

Things grew extremely quiet, time freezing as we stared each other down.

"...Oh will you two fuck already?" My sister asked, leaning into the doorway, "I mean honestly...you could cut the sexual tension in here with a hacksaw."

I turned to her, a fire like no other burning in my eyes, "Clef...fuck off."

She stuck her hands out, "Oh- wait wait wait, let me set the mood!" she reached out of view, returning with a violin, "Here we go...." She struck up a quick, happy little tune.

Torque and myself just glared at her, "...Tempo...why's your sister such a bitch?"

I shook my head and walked back to the argument couch, "I don't know...because she's stuck up, probably."

Torque let out a short huff. "So...now what?"

I rubbed the arm of the couch, "What do you mean?"

"Well...we can't--" Torque was cut off as Clef danced into the room, still playing away like mad at her instrument. "...Do you have to be a bitch right now?"

Clef just kept playing, "I'm sorry...I can't--"

I yanked her bow from her hand, quickly snapping it across my knee and tossing it aside. She just stared at the broken bow on the ground, letting her violin fall from her shoulder and hang just above the ground. I broke the silence with a cough, "So can you go now?"

Clef glared at me with a familiar burning sibling hate, "I'm telling mom...." She stormed out, stomping her hooves as she went.

I shrugged and turned to Torque, "What about what?"

Torque shook her head, "I was gonna say...we can't go back to the guard...so...what now?"

I rubbed my chin, "Well...we both have experience with the Tat--"

"No!" she jumped off the couch and stomped her hooves, "You're lucky I'm even talking to you right now, so don't push--"

"Where else would you be!?" I asked indignantly, "You always hung around with Dire, who hung around me...until the panty thing...."

"Perv--"

I cut Torque off, "I'm not a pervert! I just...got a little drunk is all...." I looked off to the side, "Anyways...I'm sure I could go back to music...but I said I'd help you...so...." I scratched my head and turned to the window, "How good are you at singing?" I turned to Torque with a shit eating grin, "Considering your screams of ecstasy hit a new pitch...I'd say you could do it."

Torque lowered her head, "I can't tell if you're being serious and offering me some help, or if you're just being an asshole."

I cocked my head and nodded with an unsure expression, "Bit of both I think. But, I do think it's worth a try."

Torque took a deep breath, "...You know...you're still an asshole--"

"And you still abandon your friends, but go ahead."

"- I- anyways.... You're still an asshole, but I- I appreciate this...mostly."

I looked around the sparse living room, "Well I did kinda watch you get buggered by a rockwurm, so...call this me re-balancing my karma."

Torque shook her head, "You're weird."

I looked down at my pony legs, "I'm pony waist down, and man belly up, I know I'm weird...but it's fun being weird."

"Words to live by." Torque looked around the room nervously, "Hey...so...that uh- ....That Tatzlwurm's gonna be okay...right?"

I adopted an exaggeratedly skeptical look, "I- Dear Torque, it would seem you have some sort of...attraction, to the beast!" I jeered with a mock posh tone.

Torque turned her head away, "Don't be gross. I just...it was...warm and gooey...."

I covered my mouth like a poof, "Scandalous."