I am not a dog

by The Hand of Pony

A day in the park

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How long has it been? Is this all dream? Was my life before this a dream? What does it even matter? Fluttershy was rife with existential conundrums as she lay on the sofa hugging Fritz like he was the only real thing in her life right now. Since hearing the disembodied voices of her friends Fluttershy had fallen into a deep melancholy as she tried to remember a life that five months ago, had been all hers. Or had it been?

Had she just created that life to escape the reality that she was just a really intelligent dog? Or was what she had thought to be true, actually true? Had she really been a pony living in Equestria, before becoming trapped in this place; losing herself to her growing doggishness? Were these hooves even hooves? Or was she just seeing hooves because she wanted to see hooves? Not to mention the wings that she was sure only she could see.

Her head hurt. So it was a good job that a whistle from by the front door distracted her from her dark thoughts.

"C'mon Flossy!" shouted Paul "Walkies!"

"Coming!" she shouted back eagerly.


Paul had taken her to something that he had called a dog park. Why he called it that, she had no idea. She couldn't see any dogs so why was it a dog park? Admittedly these thoughts weren't high on her list of priorities as she was led through the big iron gates of the entrance.

This place was amazing! There were trees, and rocks and a pond! She shook her head and tried to stop thinking like a dog and look at this place as a pony. It did look pleasant enough and hopefully there would be an opportunity for her to explore the surroundings without having to pull Paul around on the end of her lead.

That opportunity came sooner than she expected when he reached down and let her off said lead. She suddenly felt strangely exposed.

"Well go on then." Paul tried to encourage her. "Go run round."

Fluttershy watched him walk over to a bench and sit down. She looked around unsure. Neither Paul nor Janet had ever let her off her lead outside the house. She sat there for a while tapping her hooves together, looking very insecure when Paul's voice floated over to her.

"Go on Flossy. Its fine, go on and run around. I'll be right here."

"Well, ok then...you better not be lying to me." she said before slowly trotting off down the slope towards the pond. It wasn't a very exciting pond, there weren't any plants or fish or anything really. It was more like an oversized puddle than an actual pond. She looked back at Paul just to check he was still there. He was, thankfully.

She sighed and spent a few minutes sat by the pond, watching the birds.

"Oh how nice it must be to be able fly around and be so free." She looked back at her own healthy, but ineffective and possibly non-existent wings and sighed as she flapped them experimentally.

Then the thought struck her. She was here on her own, not being watched too closely and not tied to anything. Why wasn't she taking the opportunity to escape? Why hadn't the thought come to her as soon as she was freed, and why was she more worried about Paul leaving her here?

She rubbed her forehead with a hoof. Why was thinking clearly so hard for her these days? She looked backed at Paul who was leaning back on the bench, basking in the sun. Could this really be her chance? And if it was why was she so nervous?

She closed her eyes, took a deep breath and steeled her resolve, setting off in the opposite direction Paul was in. The closed eyes thing didn't really work at first as it caused her to stumble into the pond which did rather spoil the moment. She clambered out of the pond and set off around it, leaving a trail of drips behind her.


It didn't take long for her to find out the park wasn't very big and was enclosed with a tall, wrought iron fence. It was quite the disappointment when after fifteen minutes of brisk trotting she was back at where they had entered, and even more so when it only took another ten to take get back to where she had started.

Feeling rather put out she returned to the pond and slumped down on the raised concrete ledge overlooking it. The best opportunity she'd had to escape since arriving in this place and it turns out she was in a big, grass filled and classily enclosed prison. Typical.

She lay there moping for a while until the feeling that she was being watched prodded her conscience enough to tell her to look behind her. It was a good job too because sat on the floor, staring at her, were six dogs of various sizes.

"Oh, um...hello there little friends. Nice day we're having isn't it? I bet you'd all love to be off running around, enjoying it, instead of sitting here...staring...at...me..." She bit her bottom lip nervously. The dogs hadn't moved. She stood up and slowly walked off the ledge. "Of course if you want the ledge it’s all yours, I won't get in your way."

As she started to trot off all the dogs suddenly ran up and surrounded her, forcing her to stop. Then to make things worse they started sniffing her. Everywhere.

"Um...if you could not do that I'd appreciate it very much." The dogs continued sniffing regardless of her protests. "Please...please st- yeep!" One of the dogs had pushed its head up under her right wing. "Get your head from the- ah!" That time a cold wet nose found its way into her left ear. "Please don't do that! It’s not very nic- EEK!" Fluttershy leapt forward and looked back at the dog that had stuck its nose somewhere a dog’s nose had no business being.

She stood there a moment facing off against the dogs before taking a few experimental steps towards Paul. The dogs followed her while keeping their distance.

"Um...Paul?" she whimpered. She cleared her throat and tried again a bit louder. "Paul?" She stood there hoping against hope that he would notice her. He didn't to her never ending lack of surprise. There was nothing for it, she would have to run.

She swallowed and without warning turned and sprinted towards Paul as fast as she could.

"Paaauuuulllll!" she wailed as she ran, the dogs right on her heels, running with an eerie silence. When she reached the bench she leapt up besides Paul and climbed up on him, hugging him tightly around the neck and burying her face in his shoulder.

"Waah!" he yelled in surprise. "What the hell Flossy! What's the matter? He then noticed the six dogs that had been chasing her. "These dogs bothering you?" Fluttershy remained silent but nodded gently, a single tear rolling down her cheek.

"Go on! Get outta here! Git!" he shouted. The dogs, of course, did nothing. "Um...shoo?"


Eventually the owners of the other dogs wandered over and dragged off their respective pets, leaving just the two of them with Fluttershy still very much attached to Paul. After a few minutes of tickles he managed to coax her into releasing him, although she was very reluctant to go more than few steps from him. She didn’t like this dog park anymore, there were far too many dogs here.

“Can we go home now? I really don’t want to run into anymore dogs.” she asked, looking at the ground. Clearly the patron deity of irony was listening in because the response she got was far from the one she wanted.

“How about a game of fetch?” he suggested with a grin, brandishing in his hand the weapon of canine amusement known as the ball.

Fluttershy groaned and rolled her eyes, and then she grinned. “Ok then, you’re on. Since we’re in a park how about you really throw it? No holding back!” She ran off, taking care to run opposite to the way the dogs had been dragged off in.

He waited until she was a good distance away before launching the ball in her direction. Her flank fell to the ground and her jaw went slack as she watched it soar over her head and keep going for quite some distance.

“Good arm…” she muttered in wonderment before chasing after it.


They had been played fetch for a while until Fluttershy was pretty much collapsing from exhaustion which, in turn, caused her to overcome her fear of the other dogs enough for her to go and wallow in the pond in an attempt to cool down. Paul was sat back on his bench, leaving her alone which was good because what happened next might have been a bit weird even for his broad standards.

While she was splashing in the pond, blowing bubbles through her nose and listening to the water sloshing in her ears, she slowly became aware of voices.

“Omigosh! She’s drowning! Pony the lifeboats!” There was no mistaking Pinkie Pie’s voice. Fluttershy sighed and tried to sink further into the water. Not this again…

“Fluttershy! Get up! You need to swim!” “C’mon sugarcube! Don’t give up!” came two more voices. And there’s Rainbow Dash and Applejack, the crazy club’s all here… She stood up and shook the water out of her ears. The pond didn’t even come up to her withers.

“I’m not drowning.” She stated quietly to a small collection of disembodied ‘Oh’s.’

“Then what on Equestria were you doing darling?” asked Rarity after a moment.

“I was trying to cool down.”

“Why?”

“Because it’s hot out here and I was completed fried after playing fetch so I’d thought I’d have a little swim to cool down.” She said matter-of-factly.

“Playing Fetch?” came Rainbow Dash’s disbelieving voice “What the heck were you doing playing fetch?”

“It’s something I play with Pa-.”

“GIRLS!” shouted Twilight suddenly “I know you're happy to see her and want to make sure she’s ok but keeping this spell running is not as easy as I’m making it look!” The other voices fell silent. “Look, Fluttershy. I’m not sure how long I can keep this working so we’ll have to make this quick. You’ve been sucked into another dimension and we can get you back but you’ll need to get back to where you arrived in that world in the next three days.”

“Why should I?”

“Wha-, what do you mean ‘why should I’?”

“Why should I listen to some disembodied voices telling me to escape back to some filthy dumpster in some dingy back alley? What reason do I have to listen to voices that might well only exist in my head?”

There was silence for a quite a few seconds before Pinkie spoke up. “Boy she’s really got you there Twilight. I mean last time you went loco in the coco you blew up half of Ponyville with that ‘want it, need it’ spell!”

“Like you can judge,” said Rainbow “you had a party with rocks and bucketful of turnips!”

“Hey! Don’t forget Madam Le’flour and Sir Lintsalot!”

“Girls!” Twilight shouted again “Not helping!” There was a short chorus of sorry’s. “Fluttershy, you have to believe us, we’re you friends! We’ve been trying everything to talk to you and get you back!”

“Really? Because I’ve been here for ages and this is the first time that anyone’s mentioned getting back.”

“Ages? Whaddya mean ages? It’s only be-.”

“Fluttershy.” Said Twilight, cutting over Applejack. “I know this may seem weird but you have to trust us. Get back to the spot you arrived in in the next three days and we can get you home.”

Fluttershy stood there a moment, head bowed and deep in thought, her eyes twitching side to side. Should she try and escape? Trust the disembodied voices of her friends? She stood there for a few moments more before Pinkie said something surprisingly wise.

“C’mon Fluttershy! Where’s the harm in trying? You gotta take a leap of faith!”

She followed up with something less wise but definitely worthy of Pinkie Pie.

“I’ll throw you the biggest ‘welcome home’ party ever if you do it!”

Fluttershy thought for a moment longer. Pinkie was right. Maybe it was better to just have a go and fail rather than never trying at all. She was going to do it but not before she had a couple of questions answered.

“Ok, I’ll do it.” She said to the sound of cheers. “But I want to know something first Twilight.”

“Sure!” Twilight replied, sounding relieved but strained. “Ask away.”

“Why do I have to go back to the alleyway? Why can’t you just take me home from here?”

“Oh, that’s simple. When you arrived in the world you’re in, you punched a hole through the dimensional barriers between worlds, creating a passageway, or tunnel, between here and where you arrived. That hole is the best way to get you back. To get you back from where you are now would require more magic than I, all the princesses and even Discord could muster. It’s as much as I can do just to talk to you.”

“So I need to get back to the exact spot I arrived in because it’ll be a lot easier to get me back?”

“Exactly! I can’t leave the portal open there all the time in case creatures from that world cross into our world and it would take far too much energy to keep open continuously. I’ll leave a spell like the one we’ve been using to talk here in the alleyway. When you get there just shout my name and I’ll open the portal as quick as I can.”

“Why three days?”

“I’ve been using an artefact from the Crystal Empire that Cadence lent to me called the Crystal Cynosure. It draws magic to it and stores it like a battery. But like a battery it’s only charged for so much and needs time to recharge. In this case it would take a month, maybe more to recharge. When I open the portal it’ll burn out pretty quick. That’s why you have to be there in three days; after keeping the communication spell open in the alleyway for longer than that it won’t have enough charge left to open the portal. Look Fluttershy, I can’t hold this for much longer so I’ll just say to be there within three days or you’ll be stuck there until we can try again!” She was sounding very strained now. “Good luck!” Twilight grunted. “Hope to see you so- Ah!”

“Twilight!” There was silence. “Twilight? Ooh I hope she’s ok…”

Fluttershy dragged herself out of the pond and set off towards Paul. She tugged on his trousers with her mouth and started trotting towards the park exit hoping he would get the hint. If she was going to escape in the next three days she would need a plan because this wasn’t going to be easy.


Author's Note

I'm choosing to believe ponies know what batteries are.

Anyway, next chapter will be all about Fluttershy watching the world cup. She expresses a lot of disappointment with Brazil.

Or she could escape. That'd probably make more sense.

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