A gigantic nose was piloting itself down the hallways in preparation for the upcoming wrestling match. It passed by its fellow wrestlers who waved to it as it passed by and thought to itself that it would have a wonderful date afterwards shared with the beautiful Stephanie McMahon. Following and attached to it was famed wrestler Triple H, also known as Hunter Hearst Helmsley.

But it was not long before Triple H encountered Twilight Sparkle in the middle of his path. In the true manifestation of this reality, she was a winged unicorn capable of casting magic, flying, and delivering a sick German Suplex. To Triple H, she appeared as a He and shared none of the former qualities.

“Well hey there kid, what are you up to?”

“Oh nothing,” Twilight said and then looked off to the side. “I’m just distracting you.”

“Distracting me, eh?”

Twilight chuckled nervously at the honest reception to her honest answer. “Hehe, yes, distracting.”

“And you’re distracting me because?”

“Clunk.”

Triple H felt his vision waver and his slick back hair cast over his face as he lost feeling in his limbs. He really needed coffee today, because nothing even happened and he was already ready to black out.

“Clunk? What are you saying ‘clunk’ for?”

He then received a tap on the shoulder from something that was like a gigantic kielbasa. When he turned around he saw it was actually Mark Henry’s gigantic finger. It was then swapped for Mark Henry’s gigantic fist which delivered a gigantic punch to Triple H’s gigantic nose and left him a little bit unconscious.

When Triple H woke up he blinked the fog of sleep from his eyes, but soon found this was the extent of his immediate capabilities When everything was cleared, he saw a group of his fellow wrestlers surrounding him and felt that his arms were tied behind his back and he was sitting in one of the metal chairs that were commonly used more as weapons than furniture.

“Alright, is this a prank? You guys got a girl ready to jump out of a cake or something?”

Shawn Michaels, the equally notorious tag team partner of Triple H who formed the other half of the group Degeneration X went up to the muck haired wrestler. “Hunter, you know me. Now, normally I would take this opportunity to smash an egg over your head while you can’t fight back, but we gotta get real serious here.” He placed his hands on Triple H’s shoulders. “You. Have. A. Problem.”

“No way man, you know I would never do steroids! Drugs are for losers, like Test or MVP.” Meanwhile MVP was in the corner thinking to himself Yeah, he’s right.

“Steroids? Hunter, your problem is worse than that. See, if you do drugs, you’re the one who’s going to die and your family and friends will suffer. But your problem is affecting literally everyone here who’s ever been in the ring plus their families and friends.”

“Wait, is this about how I’ve told just about everybody here to ‘suck it?’ Because that’s not just me, that’s Degeneration X.”

Twilight Sparkle then stepped up and spanked Triple H across the face. “I ALMOST GOT MY LEG BROKEN BY A DOLL WITH A SLEDGEHAMMER!” She yelled before starting to calm down. “Look, you really need to stop sneaking sledgehammers under the ring, it’s extremely dangerous.”

“Twilight’s right,” said Chris Benoit. “I know the crowd loves it, but it’s just too hazardous to allow. Now, we’re all soory that we had to bring you here to talk to you like this, but it needed to be done. So friend, what do you say?”

Triple H looked down at his massive biceps and shook his head. “Guys, I hear you all, but I can’t stop. Ever since I got my hands on my first sledge, I never wanted to think of an arena I would be at not having one. But whats say we all agree just not to use them?”

Mark Henry waved this thought away with a backhand stroke of his paddle of a hand passing through air. “Uh uh. You never know when some guy’s going to end up going for it in desperation.”

This comment finally got Triple H to surrender. “Alright, you guys are right. Maybe I should just leave the game, because there’s no way I’m going to stop.”

Shawn Michaels stepped firmly on Triple H’s foot and leaned in. “Man, without you where would DX be? Hunter, some day I might just be some jerk working in a kitchen as a chef, because cooks are total lamers, and when that happens you need to be there to tell me to get back into wrestling.”

“Ha! You, a chef? If that ever happens I will have to get you from that miserable existence. Okay, so I won’t quit. But, that just means I’ll still be making problems for us all.”

“You have until 2012 to stop. If you don’t stop jeopardizing us all we will all shave your head and keep you bald from then on and force you to be seen with the gold dipped skulls of wrestlers murdered by sledgehammers you have placed under the ring.”

“Fair enough.” And with this the entire room of people and one lone alicorn nodded in agreement. “So, mind letting me go?”

Everyone else immediately left the building.

Author's Note

Every year there are innumerable wrestlers harmed from sledgehammers hidden under the ring. Please wrestler responsibly. That is to say, not at all unless you're a professional.