A Sunny Day: Peacekeeping is Magic

Two weeks, two weeks of avoiding eye contact, two weeks of avoiding conversation, two weeks of avoiding 'minotaur guard duty', and most of all two weeks of avoiding a certain purple pony. With my fourteen days of cleverly constructed excuses, I thought I was in the clear. I awoke in the barracks tent and rolled to see my cot's world class view, Rick, face down, in a pool of saliva, blank faced, and cradling his helmet in a deep sleep, and his underwear. The bugle rang out to awaken all in FOB Ponyville (more a suggestion than anything if you didn't have an assigned task for the morning). Carl rose half awake, Rick did not. Together we shaved over canteen cups filled with cold water, Rick did not. We prepared to go get breakfast while it was still hot, Rick scrambled to put on pants and followed. We three sat silent in the loud mess tent and ate our breakfast. No neither Rick nor myself wanted to speak, and Carl didn't have any other friends. After eating I planned to go sit in the sun before it got hot outside and enjoy a morning smoke. A voice from behind informed me that my plans were not going to come to fruition.

"Hey, Tom, (you're fucked buddy.) Captain Wallace wants to speak with you."

"Great, any particular reason (how fucked am I?) ?"

"Don't know, but it doesn't sound good (Minor infractions don't get a meeting with the Captain, dumbass)."

It was a trip to the principal office all over again. My legs shook, my breathing became erratic, my palms became clammy, and my thoughts raced. I stood before the plywood door of the Captain's office, with hopes it would never open. It did.

"Sir, good morning Sir."

"Well, good morning to you too private. Come in, take a seat."

"Thank you Sir." Cpt. Wallace sat across his desk (card table covered in papers) and read over what appeared to be an Equestrian parchment scroll bearing the royal seal, occasionally glancing to some papers in a manilla folder and then at me.

"Well, I don't understand exactly just whats going on here. For starters, what the hell is a 'minotaur protection detail? Second, why the hell are you a part of it? Third, why does Celestia personally request your presence at a party. Most of all, why the hell is she now requesting you to report immediately to her protege`?" a silence hung briefly as I planned my court martial, "you know what? I dont even wanna know. Meet with the researchers at the convoy into Ponyville in thirty minutes. Go to the Ponyville Public Library and meet with Twilight sparkle. She'll relay your orders from there." And thats how I ended up standing outside the second door I wished would stay closed of that day. It did. When it opened standing inside was that same purple face I looked at while I... nevermind. I moved to a position of attention, giving the most crisp salute I could.

"Really? You think a salute is the proper greeting after two weeks of avoiding me?"

"I-I"

"I'm kidding, come in." I stepped, for the second time, through the threshold of the Ponyville Public Library. "So, there are a few things we need to talk about. I think the most important at this point is clearing the field after our, well, afterparty two weeks ago." yep, I felt like killing myself. I was having a relationship talk with a horse, and a purple dragon with a shocked face scurried to leave the room. Never did I see myself being in this situation. "We were both drunk, and I saw that dirty magazine, and I guess I just saw it as a green light. I recognize that the socio-cultural customs of your people would lead you to feel shameful of what happened, so I understand why you haven't wanted to see me."

"Listen, Twilight, that wasn't even mine. Rick put it in my pocket to embarass me in front of you. I'm not even Into mares."

"Well you seemed pretty into it. You don't 'go down on' somepony if you're not into it."

"Oh god. (that explained the taste the next day)" I hung my head and covered my face. Twilight picked up quickly on my anguish,

"It's okay, you shouldn't be embarrassed of your sexuality. Which leads me to what we need to talk about next. I see a lot of potential in you. You're smart, and funny, and nice, and I've requested of Princess Celestia, and of your commanding officers, to have you assigned to me as my protege`." At this point I could see that I was bound to Twilight Sparkle, whether I liked it or not. Two weeks wasted. "Of course they all gladly obliged, your military seems to be very efficient when it comes to cooperating." Except when it comes to changing light bulbs, "So, for a few nights out of the week you'll be staying with me here at the library, where you'll study alongside me, and under my direction. Any questions?" I hate my life.

"Um, studying what, exactly?"

"The magic of friendship, of course. Anything else?"

"Yeah, where am I going to be sleeping?"

. . .

I lain beside Twilight in her bed for the second time, this time with my underwear on. Twilight insisted I sleep without pants or a shirt because sleeping in clothes is too 'improper', but sharing a bed isn't apparently. Her blankets were as silky smooth and soft as I remembered. I could a sweet scent drifted from the sleeping pony beside me. I couldn't resist her and moved closer, wrapping my arms around her warm, soft body. My groin was touching her backside lightly, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't at least a little aroused at that point. I felt guilty, and a little bit ashamed that I was basically violating a sleeping horse woman. That guilt only lasted until she pushed her rump against my crotch, letting her wet marehood soak through my boxer briefs, and running her hoof between her hind legs to gently rub- you get the picture. Twilight scoffed slightly and left me with one statement before resuming her rest (still pressed against a horny human):

"Pfft, not into mares..."

If there was anything I learned from this it would be to never have sex with a horse... well, I guess just not one that wants a relationship... it also could've been don't get drunk and go home with a sexy unicorn... maybe just don't join the Army.