The Calamity of Doctor Whirligig Velocity

Chapter 4
v.1.51

“Party cannon!” The dining room exploded with confetti from Pinkie Pie’s Peculiarly Portable Petite Party Preparation Cannon, one of the many random things the perpetually hyperactive pony packed. Inspired by Fluttershy’s new uncharacteristically energetic and silly personality, Pinkie Pie threw one of her famous parties to celebrate. No time was considered inappropriate for a party in the pink earth pony’s mind. Pinkie and Fluttershy danced to music from a gramophone, staged atop an aging end table; Nightlight, who admittedly never been to a party before, beamed with joy.

Unenthusiastically Trixie brushed confetti from her cape. The showmare’s tour to Coltsgold was turning out to be more trouble than it was worth. However, the warm and delicious food Applejack and Nightlight prepared for dinner and the free—albeit shared bedroom for the night made her thankful she let Twilight Sparkle and her friends tag along. Unfortunately Trixie was willing to change her mind again a moment later when she found herself sandwiched between Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy singing a jaunty duet. They tried to get her to join in, but the showmare adamantly refused.

“Pinkie Pie, I know you enjoy throwing parties, but I simply cannot see how you could celebrate at a time like this,” said Rarity. Her words were spoken like a proper mare, worthy of the high class society of Canterlot. “Thanks to somepony’s carelessness, Fluttershy is behaving downright . . . unladylike.” The blue unicorn’s eye twitched at the reminder.

The Great and Powerful Trixie sat down on one of the pillows provided next to the long, water stained dinner table. A few spots were more worn out than others. Trixie was surprised that all of the furniture was still the same way she remembered it, only aged with a couple new scars. Trixie wondered how Lamplight was able to collect so many differently styled and ornate stained glass lanterns that obsessively decorated the inn. They hung from the ceiling and were mounted on the walls; some flickered from carved alcoves. It would have taken the guide a lifetime to travel all over Equestria to amass an extensive collection like this.

The smell of mouthwatering food lured the other ponies to the table. A scrumptious apple pie was calling the showmare; she could almost taste it. She magically picked up a knife and plate, but before she could get a slice the crazy pink pony planted her face in it. Twilight cringed, embarrassed by her friend’s behavior. The very prim and proper unicorn also disapproved and gave Pinkie Pie a lengthy lecture on etiquette that went unheard.

Eventually Trixie secured a plate of food for herself. The food was divine, however stress threatened to disrupt her digestion. She closed her eyes and focused on releasing the tension in her body. Trixie practiced a meditation technique she used to prevent knots from building up in her muscles. Unfortunately it wasn’t as effective tonight as she had hoped.

“Trixie, why didn’t you tell us this place only had a couple rooms?” Twilight asked after she finished a mouthful of pie. Trixie started to speak but was interrupted by another one of Fluttershy’s outbursts, followed by Rainbow Dash chasing after her.

“The last time The Great and Powerful Trixie was here, she was sans entourage. I didn’t know,” said Trixie finally. She silently swore never to help the Ponyvillians ever again. Nothing good ever came from them . . . well, almost nothing. Trixie grumbled at her own mixed thoughts.

“If I had spoken to Miss Nightlight, I could have used my charm to get a room for myself. I don’t know how I’ll get my beauty sleep sharing a bed with Applejack,” Rarity pouted.

“Oh please.” Applejack rolled her eyes. “It wasn’t exactly easy for me to get any shuteye when we spent the night at Twilight’s, during that big storm last year. Besides, would you rather stay with Fluttershy tonight?” As if on cue, the wild pegasus zipped across the lobby with her rainbow shadow trailing her.

Rarity was as beautiful as the rare gemstones she had a talent for finding. She frequently used them on her dresses she designed and sold in her boutique. That ability earned her a cutie mark of three diamonds on her flank. Unfortunately she was prone to vanity that sometimes got the better of her. Rarity’s high standards and perfectionist nature made it difficult to accommodate her at times.

Applejack and Rarity were an odd combination. The strong, southern work horse was the opposite of the elegant mare. While attractive, Applejack didn’t care about fancy dresses or worry about getting dirty. Hard work on the farm meant getting sweaty and sometimes required getting her hooves muddy. The two often quarreled, but that didn’t stop them from being good friends.

“Humph.” Rarity turned her nose up in the air. “I don’t know how anyone could call this dusty old place an ‘inn.’ What kind of hotel is this that only has three rooms to rent? I’m not so sure about the décor either. While it does give me some inspiration for a potential future design project, they could at least do something about this antiquated furniture. This table alone is all scuffed up, and it looks as if nopony has ever used a coaster in years. I am appalled that we’re expected to eat off such a thing,” the ivory unicorn complained.

“Uh, Rarity? If’n ya haven’t noticed, this place doesn’t exactly have a whole lot of traffic running through here. Ain’t no sense in spending a whole lot of money to go build a fancy five-star hotel all the way out here in the middle of nowhere,” explained Applejack.

“Of course there is, they’re called ‘exotic vacation resorts.’ Heavens knows I could use a good spa and massage after all that walking. All this weather has done a number on my mane. I don’t expect you to know how much time and effort it takes to look as fabulous as I do.”

“Rarity, one of these days you’ll need to get over yourself.”

“I beg your pardon! There is nothing wrong with a lady trying to look her best. Celestia forbid we should all have to spend the day with dirt on our faces.”

Trixie listened while she ate with mild amusement. She wondered how Twilight could amass such an odd assortment of colleagues. The showmare almost envied the studious unicorn and her close circle of friends. At the same time, Trixie disliked them for making her reflect on her own lack of friendship.

“I’m awfully sorry for the inconvenience,” Nightlight interrupted the argument. “My big brother Lamplight and I would have built an expansion and fixed this place up some, but it’s really hard to make money out here. Like she said, nopony ever wants to travel through these woods to get up to Oakhoof. It’s so much easier just to take the Great Sprite Bridge and go through Coltsgold. I wish we had an inn over there, but my big brother says that somepony has to guide folks through the woods,” Nightlight sighed. It was clear that she wasn’t entirely happy living in such an isolated place.

Nightlight leaned forward and engaged Trixie with a barrage of questions. The performer told a charismatic tale of her travels, embellishing her achievements more than just a little bit. She told the innkeeper how she rescued a drowning pony when she discovered the bridge had been destroyed. Nightlight hung on every word. Trixie could feel the few stares of the other ponies assaulting her. The showmare had plenty of experience blocking them out. It felt great to have a rapt audience again, even if it was just one pony. The unicorn gracefully avoided her foul-up with Fluttershy, who was still darting from lantern to lantern like a hummingbird.

The performing unicorn finished her amazing tales and let the hostess return to the kitchen to prepare more food. The modest feast was not fancy but appetizing. Trixie almost didn’t recognize Nightlight from her previous trip. She thought back to her past misadventure through the Withered Wood Forest.

The guide back then was a brown-furred and blond stallion named Lamplight. As she recalled, the guide had an annoying little sister. Lamplight said that she was a “navigationally challenged” filly who couldn’t find her way out of a barrel. It would make sense that Nightlight only ran the inn. Celestia forbid she ever followed in her brother’s horseshoes. Curious, she hadn’t seen Lamplight since they arrived. Maybe he was in bed already or on his way back from the other side of the woods. It would have been dreadful to be lost in the woods at night with a storm.

A wave of anxiety washed over the showmare. Trixie kept a deadpan expression. It had been years since she got lost in the wild lands. Trixie banished the memory from her mind; in the morning Lamplight would guide them through the woods and she would be free to focus on her magic show.

How was she going to salvage her career anyways? She was going to miss her scheduled performance in Coltsgold. How could anypony take her seriously when not only labeled a fraud but also unreliable? The news would spread to Oakhoof in no time. What if her reputation never recovered? What if it was time to hang up her cape and wizard’s hat and just give up her act? The warm food in her stomach turned to cold, heavy iron in her chest. This was not how her career was supposed to end. What if it was already over and she was just fooling herself?

“Pinkie!” Twilight shouted. Stopping in mid-cartwheel, the earth pony looked at Twilight while upside down from the dinner table. “Don’t you think it’s time to tone things down a bit? We’ve all had a long day.”

“Aw, you’re no fun.” Pinkie walked away on her front hooves, knocking plates off the table. Bits of food caught in her curly mane.

Twilight sighed. It had been a long and rough day and she was eager for some peace and quiet. Spike had already dozed off. Trixie must have been really tired too; she stared off into space blankly. Neither the noise from the rambunctious ponies nor the new bombardment of questions from Nightlight could shake her from her thoughts. Trixie’s brow creased; Twilight couldn’t tell if she was mad or about to cry.

Fluttershy had been bouncing off the walls since they arrived at the inn. Rainbow Dash finally stopped to rest for a minute. She wiped the sweat from her brow; obviously fatigued.

“Are you alright Rainbow? Do you need any help?” Twilight asked.

“Are you kidding? Ha! I can do this all night long. No problemo,” boasted the pegasus with the colorful lightning bolt cutie mark. “I never thought I’d be trying to keep Fluttershy out of mischief. All that mega-nervous energy of hers has turned into, like, ultra-hyper energy. If we were back in Ponyville, I’d totally challenge her to a race. There’s no way she could compete with my spectacular speed, but it would be a sure way to burn off a ton of that energy she’s got right now.” In no time, Rainbow was back to corralling the out of control Flutershy.

Trixie quietly left the dinner table and sat in front of the fire; lost in whatever thoughts a fallen showmare might have. Twilight didn’t mind too much having her around as long as she didn’t mess things up again. The lavender unicorn wondered if Trixie was upset over what she did to Fluttershy. The careless accident was her fault, though Trixie was just trying to help. Feeling a little guilty, Twilight worried that maybe she reacted too harshly.

“Wow, this is so cool. I never thought I’d get to see The Great and Powerful Trixie again. You girls sure know how to have fun; I bet there’s never a dull moment around you,” Nightlight giggled. She was unfazed by lavender unicorn’s crazy friends.

“You have no idea,” replied Twilight.

“So what brings you girls out to the wild lands?”

“Oh, we’re on royal business.”

“The Great and Powerful Trixie is on royal business, like from Princess Celestia? Oh my gosh, this is amazing!” the young mare squealed. Nightlight’s outburst caught Trixie’s attention. She raised her brow. Twilight’s eyes darted back and forth from the showmare and the innkeeper.

“Uh . . . yes. Yes, she is assisting us on an important task.” Now who was exaggerating the truth? Twilight hoped that the gesture would help Trixie feel better and get some useful information in the process. “Do you happen to know anything about a Doctor Whirligig Velocity?” asked Twilight. The junior innkeeper thought for a long moment.

“Um, I’ve heard about a Mr. Velocity. Never met him, but I think he’s some mad scientist living in that old Snowline Castle on top of Crystal Forest Mountain. You could probably see it from the north or west side of the mountain.”

“Do you know what he is doing up there? What about his mechanical automoponies?”

“Auto-what? Sorry, I don’t know what that is. All I know is that he’s some sort of reclusive quack. He used to have a bunch of other scientists there at one time, but that was a really long time ago before I was born. They’re all gone now.”

“Have you had any word from Coltsgold?” Twilight Sparkle continued with her own list of questions.

“I can’t say that I have; though like I said before, pony-folk generally don’t come this way because of the wild lands.”

Twilight thanked her for the information. She looked at the clock and realized it was getting late. She gathered her friends and suggested they all get some sleep so they could be well rested for the trek through the woods and up the mountain. There was protest from Fluttershy and Pinkie, but Rainbow Dash was adamant on getting some sleep tonight.

The lavender unicorn carefully carried Spike to the room at the end of the hall and laid him down in a wide basket; covering him with his blanket. Trixie’s cape and wizard’s hat hung from the coat rack. The showmare had brought in her own pack from her wagon.

The room had the distinct smell of wood shavings and mild scented candles. It was bare and cold; the chill cut through the window effortlessly. The heat of the fire didn’t reach the corner room. Acorns rained down on the roof while the storm raged outside.

Rainbow Dash was sharing a room with Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie. Two of them were still bouncing off the walls, making a racket. Wearing a mud mask and curlers, Rarity pounded on their door.

“Will you be quiet! I am trying to get my beauty sleep!” the robed unicorn demanded.

“Hey, will you give me a break? I’m trying my best to keep Fluttershy under control and Pinkie isn’t helping,” replied the pegasus.

“Maybe Pinkie should stay in our room?” the freckled earth pony suggested; her blond mane free from her usual low ponytail.

“Please Applejack; it is bad enough that I have to share a bed with a messy pony like you. Besides, there’s hardly enough room. How am I going to sleep comfortably?”

“What about RD?” the blond earth pony referred the pegasus by her initials, as her friends sometimes called Applejack ‘AJ’. “She’s sharing a room with those two hyperactive ponies.”

“Well, she might actually have a bed to herself then. Those two would probably stay up all night at the rate they’re going,” said Rarity.

“Hey! Why don’t we all stop bickering and just go to sleep?” Twilight insisted.

Reluctantly everypony retired to their rooms, however loud whispers continued. Twilight sighed and closed the door with her magic. Surprisingly, out of everypony Trixie was the only one who didn’t argue about the sleeping arrangements. She was sure that the almighty showmare would have fought hoof and alicorn to get a private room. Rarity certainly tried. Trixie’s attitude changed abruptly shortly after they arrived and she had been quiet ever since. Was she brooding over something or was this what she was like in private?

This was the first time Twilight spent time with her. She only talked to the showmare briefly when they first met during her show in Ponyville. The taciturn pony stared into the darkness through the old window with a dour expression. Twilight couldn’t imagine what it would be like to spend the night in Trixie’s wagon in this weather.

“Wow, the storm is really coming down now, isn’t it?” Twilight asked.

Awkward silence lurked in the room.

“This place sure is rustic, even more than the hotel in Ponyville, don’t you think?” Twilight forced a laugh, but Trixie still ignored her. “I bet you’ve seen some fancy places on your magic act tour.” Twilight cringed, realizing too late that the showmare’s career might be a sensitive subject.

“Twilight, I’m sorry. I honestly didn’t know this place had only a few rooms,” Trixie said without her usual bravado. It sounded weird coming out of her, yet it was soft and natural.

A loud commotion came from the next room.

“You two totally need to chillax and go to bed right now!” Rainbow Dash said, her voice muffled by the wall. “I’m mega-serious here. I will sit in front of this door all night if I have to.”

Another voice said something but it was too quiet to make out, and then high pitched squealing and giggling broke out.

“I’m sorry for that too.” Trixie nodded her head towards the noise next door.

“It’s okay. How about we get some sleep,” suggested Twilight.

Trixie took the right side of the bed and Twilight took the left. They lay back to back. Trixie shifted uncomfortably. A double lightning flash shocked the bare room; the thunderclap rattled all of the lanterns in the inn. Pinkie let out a startled shriek and then laughed about it.

The blue unicorn shifted again. Twilight looked over her shoulder.

“Did you want me to stay in the other room with Rarity and AJ?” Twilight knew the bed in the other room was just as small as theirs. She would most likely end up sleeping on the floor. Trixie didn’t reply right away.

“No, its fine,” she said after a long pause.

Twilight laid her head back down on her pillow. A moment later Trixie sat up. With her alicorn aglow, she magically reached out to her pack. Twilight peeked over her shoulder again. Surrounded by a soft blue light, a small rectangular block of wood floated out of her pack and to the nightstand. It was a tiny music box. The wood was worn and nicked; it was probably a few decades old. A carving of an elegant unicorn in a forest was meticulously etched into the top.

The magic faded and the music box started to play a gentle, bittersweet melody. Trixie put her head back to the pillow and pulled the blanket up close to her face. She took a soft deep breath and stopped fidgeting. Twilight listened to the lovely harmonies.

“That is a beautiful tune. What is it called?” Trixie didn’t answer. “Oh, sorry . . . Are you asleep?” Twilight whispered; again there was no response from Trixie.

She couldn’t tell in the dark if she saw Trixie blink her eyes or not. Twilight’s eyes were not adjusted to the dark yet. It was clear she wasn’t going to talk. Twilight closed her eyes. Eventually she drifted off to sleep with the sounds of the delicate music box mixed with the raging wind and rain.

Between the howling wind and the pony snoring in the next room kept Nightlight half awake. The three rowdy ponies from the room across the hall finally went quiet. The dark azure unicorn nuzzled her warm fuzzy blankets. She had quite an exciting evening; not only did she have guests, but a celebrity on royal business. Nightlight couldn’t wait to tell her big brother all about it. The pink earth pony and the yellow pegasus were so fun to watch. It was unfortunate that The Great and Powerful Trixie was too exhausted from her trip to talk to her much.

Other ponies were so lucky to live in the big cities. There were tons of ponies to talk to and so much to do. It was so boring staying here at the inn. The unicorn would give her left hind hoof to live in a place like Canterlot or Manehattan. Even a small town or village like Oakhoof or Ponyville would be more fun. But she did have a responsibility to the travelers going through the wild lands. Lamplight couldn’t do it all by himself.

Nightlight pushed all her thoughts and excitement out of her mind. Her eyes were heavy and her body was very tired. Try as she might, she couldn’t fall asleep. There was a funny feeling that nagged at the back of her mind more than anything else. Nightlight was too tired to act on her gut feeling. She told herself that it was just the storm, but the uneasy feeling grew stronger.

Bleary-eyed, the unicorn squinted at the darkness. Faint light reflected off the metal and glass surfaces that hung in her bedroom. Nightlight sat up with a start. She rubbed the blurriness out of her eyes and looked though the window. The plants and trees were wildly animated by the wind. Something darkled outside that the unicorn couldn’t make out.

“What in the wild lands is that?” she mouthed to herself silently.

Using her magic, she donned a maroon cape and then picked up one of her favorite lanterns with her teeth. She hurried to the large oak door of the inn. Wind whipped her platinum cape and mane. The lanterns of the inn creaked and clattered ominously. The night was dark as pitch; sporadic lightning flashes highlighted the terrain. Nightlight’s lantern did little against the storm. Her alicorn sparkled with a silver glow and her lantern focused into a tighter beam.

“Who is out there?” she shouted carefully. With the handle in her mouth it was difficult to speak clearly, especially against the feral winds. Pegasi usually avoided making storms this bad unless there was a foul-up with the weather schedule. However this was the wild lands affecting the weather. Rain pelted the young mare’s face as she made her way around the corner to the back of the inn.

“Big brother?” she called out to the night. “Lamplight, is that you? Trixie? Trixie’s friends?” Nopony answered. Nightlight shivered from the cold, or was it from the onset of sudden anxiety? Wither Wood Forest did have its share of strange creatures that dwelled deeper into the wild lands. One of them could have easily gotten lost in the storm and wandered out to the inn. But Nightlight was more worried that one of her guests had snuck out somehow without her hearing them.

Nightlight clutched her trusty lantern tight and ventured into the tangle of trees and bushes. She stopped to listen for any signs of what might be out there. Something was watching her, she could feel it. Her cone of light scanned the woods. The mare saw something moving in the corner of her eye, but all she could see were swaying trees and vegetation. The wild lands could play tricks on ponies eyes, but she of all ponies should be used to the sights and sounds of the Withered Wood Forest.

There was a sudden strange metallic noise and a spark. Nightlight shined her light and caught a glimpse of what could have been golden antlers. With a flash of lightning, who or whatever it was, galloped away with incredible speed. It sounded like it had metal hooves.

Nightlight wasn’t feeling safe being alone outside. Slowly she started to retreat. She wanted to run, but it would have been dangerous with the bad weather. The unicorn heard another metallic sound, different than before. She surveyed the landscape; her eyes met with a pair of dimly glowing red orbs. They stared back at her, unblinking. Nightlight didn’t dare shine the light on it, hoping it would not jump out at her. It lumbered towards her slowly,

The mare panicked and by reflex she shut her eyes; with her alicorn aglow, her lantern exploded with a glaring magical light. The creature let out a pained and unnatural neigh. When the blaze of light died down, Nightlight fled. She slipped and stumbled in the fresh mud. The unicorn forced herself to slow down until she was free of the woods. Once free she galloped back to the inn.

Wet and muddy, Nightlight slammed the door and locked it. Despite her relief, she was quaking in her horseshoes. The unicorn put down her lantern and stretched her jaw; she had been gripping the handle too tight. This was the scariest encounter she has had in a long time. Thankfully the inn was a safe place; the wild creatures never threatened to come close to it—until something thudded against the door.

Nightlight stared wide-eyed. Something banged against the door again. The pair of dim crimson eyes peered into the window. The unicorn dug into the corner by the door and held her breath. An eternity of seconds passed until the mysterious creature gave up and vanished back into the night.