Twilight kills herself a lot

"I was trying to kill myself."

I sighed. I have no idea how many times she's said it now. To be fair she seemed like normal Twilight sort of crazy rather than I'm going to kill myself because my friends will eventually die crazy. It still was way too much though. I mean it's not like it's a surprise or anything. Then I blinked.

"Wait, you do remember everything right, casue I really don't want to…"

"That's the whole problem Dash I remember every second and…" She suddenly paused. "Wait, how has it been your day off for two months?"

I laughed. "Oh yea, about that. See…"

"Ah, I got you fired. I tried to kill myself and I got you fired. I'm a terrible friend."

"Twi, that's super dumb, you do know that right?"

"Super dumb? What are you talking about you can't just skip work. You..."

"I'm a government employee. You know, the same government you sorta run, a little, I think. How does that work actually? I mean you're a princess but…"

Twi groaned. "Right, you just asked the princesses for time off and they gave it to you."

"Actually they gave me a job. Technically it's assistant librarian, but really it was watching you."

She sighed again. "Stupid book."

I screamed. "I thought you were getting better. Oh man what happened, you seemed okay just a second ago but…"

Then I was firmly in Twilight's magic upside down, and she rolled her eyes at me. Okay, so I might have over reacted just a little bit, especially since I don't really have any idea how that might be connected to the conversation at all.

"So, obviously I'm confused even though you calling a book stupid is crazier than the suicide thing."

"What?" She shook her head. "Never mind that. The point is yes I was looking for a cure for mortality, or at least 5 specific cases of it, and yes I was very tired, but the reason I went from there to suicide was because of an ancient evil sealed inside a book."

"Oh, so Celestia was right about you never doing something like this?"

She nodded. "Mostly right at least. I mean maybe if you or one of the others actually died it might have driven me that far but it's unlikely. I mean I'm in the odd position of both feeling like I have too much responsibility and wanting more, but my life was far from hopeless."

"So what, the book made you depressed?"

"More or less. It made everything more dire, and any and all action seem pointless. It's actually rather like descriptions of normal depression, except the dark thoughts are from an external source, or at least amplified by one."

"So what some book…"

"It's not a book, more of a spirit that was trapped in the book and possessed me. It fed off of misery and the like. That's why even though in general it wasn't a good idea you and AJ did the right thing in getting Discord to zap me."

I blinked. "We did? It sure didn't seem like it."

"The thing is I couldn’t be miserable. It was impossible. The creature starved and died, begging to be set free so it could have a tiny scrap of torment, but it couldn’t leave for some reason. I never did figure out if that was me or Discord's spell."

"But it still made you crazy, and you still weren't sleeping, so you never stopped."

"It just seemed like another research project. I have no idea how I could think something like that, but it seemed that way at the time."

"Why is Discord's magic gone anyway?"

"Two possibilities. One I just needed some sleep to fight it off, or two the bearers of the elements of harmony being in close proximity like that disrupted the chaos magic."

"Even without the elements?"

"Well it wasn't intended to be a harmful spell, so self removal shouldn’t be that hard anyway. It is chaos magic, which is an untapped field and…"

"I get it. So you're fine now."

Her eye twitched. "No I'm not fine. I'm still a little tired despite sleeping for who knows how many hours…"

"Nine and half days." I added

Her eyes went wide. "I missed nine and a half days?" she then screamed. "Ah, Celestia is going to kill me. I can't…"

"Twi, calm down. First, that wouldn't be permanent anyway, second she totally isn't going to do that pretty much no matter what you do…"

"Pretty much?"

"Well yea, I mean it doesn't seem like the elements can do that sort of thing but I kinda get the feeling she didn't know that the elements would trap Luna in the moon."

Twilight paled. "I don't want to be trapped in the…" Twi trailed off "Wait, I still haven't determined if I'm the princess of friendship or magic, or possibly both, and even if I did how could I be trapped in either?"

"They could just turn you to stone, you know, if you weren't the element of magic and all. Remember?"

"Right, and, this is like the incident all over again, isn't it?"

"Well the worrying part, yea. Everypony is avoiding you because you've been super creepy, but after that one pony almost lost an eye when your horn was blown off your head, you've been super careful about that sort of thing."

"Why don't I remember losing my horn, but I do remember hurting somepony?"

"Probably because most of your skull was blown off your head too."

She screamed again "I spent weeks trying to kill myself."

I cringed. This is going to be bad. "It was months actually."

She screamed and ran around in circles for a while. I think there were some actual words in there too, but I wasn't sure of it. Then Pinkie tackle hugged her and she stopped screaming. I then checked her chest. It was going up and down really fast. Pinkie then loosened her grip and Twilight took a deep breath.

"Ooopsie doodle."

"I can't believe I actually thanked you for almost suffocating me once."

Pinikie nodded, frowning. "But that's over now." She smiled again "You're all better, and we're all sorta alicorns and everything is great."

"Sorta alicorns?" I asked

"I guess you weren't paying attention but…" Twi stopped and we both stared at Pinkie for a while

"What?"

"But you were asleep for large portions of my explanation. I know you were."

"So, just because I'm asleep doesn't mean I wasn't listening."

"What, but…"

"Twi, let it go. There is tons of other stuff to deal with, don't make it worse."

"Right, right." Twi then blinked. "Wait, when did I start listening to you without question. I mean at least half the advice you've given me lately has been good, but I only thought about doubting you once I realized I didn't."

"I was there and you trust me. Also there is totally nothing wrong with my ideas."

"Dash you once suggested…" she then shook her head "Okay, there are countless reasons to not finish that sentence. So yes, all of you are sort of alicorns. I think you might just be sharing my power somehow, but I'm not sure."

"What else could it be?"

"Well the elements of harmony themselves in some manner. Overall though your auras now all echo mine in a weird way."

"Ooo, or your aura echoes ours."

Twi blinked. "Oh, now that's interesting. I mean everyone knows that alicorns have the magic of all three pony races in balance, but maybe I got it a different way. By sharing some of my friends magic."

"Ohh, and since it's sharing we got some of yours." Said Pinkie

"But does that mean you're sharing everything you got with all of us, like I have earth pony magic and unicorn magic too." I asked

Twilight and Pinkie both stared at me. After a moment Pinkie giggled

"What, I've been hanging around you a whole lot."

"You're right obviously. I told you such but I guess it's actually more believable you'd pick something up about magic rather than actually listen to a long speech."

"Three days Twi. I don't think even Princess Celestia could listen the whole time."

Twi blushed. "Okay, so I could have at least split it into a few separate lectures."

"Omigosh, does this mean I could fly if I had wings?"

"Nah Pinkie you'd need…" I began, then paused.

"Pegasus magic, which she now has. Oh we have to test this immediately. Wing spells impart air magic temporarily so I'd have to find a spell that doesn't do such to make a proper test or..." Twi paused and looked at me

"Wait, are you looking at my wings because you're thinking about cutting them off and gluing them to Pinkie."

"No." Then Twi sighed and looked down "It's more of an invasive surgical procedure. I'm still crazy, aren't I?"

"Maybe a little, but yea, go ahead."

"Whoo" Pinkie threw up her hooves and smacked into the floor face first with a sickening crack. Oddly there was no blood. "I fet thwings."

"Dash this…"

"Is still super creepy, but clearly you know what you're doing, they'll grow back, and it's not like it's going to even hurt, much less kill me."

"Yes, I suppose if there is one bright side to this it's that even if I don't have the proper credentials I am a skilled surgeon now." Twi looked queasy "Even if I actually found there is a way worse than practicing on corpses to learn the art."

"Why specifically that?"

"It's how the art of surgery was invented, more or less. The point is no I'm not going to do that to you."

"Awww, but I wanted wings."

"Yea, stop being mean to Pinkie, wings are awesome, especially mine."

Her eye twitched. Pinkie and I were both smiling. Then it suddenly occurred to me what I actually asked her to do.

"Fine. I mean why not. Clearly we're all crazy here."

"Uh Twi now that I think of it maybe…"

"Is that combo bad or good, I can't tell. Usually I can so tell."

Then I didn't have wings. I felt odd but that's it. Pinkie now had a nice pair of blue wings. They were even more awesome from a distance. I turned arround to see two small holes that were mostly sealed up closing on my back. There was a little blood dripping from them. Twi was then in front of me crying.

"I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have done that and I didn’t' even cast the pain reducer spell on you and…" Twi suddenly stopped. "You still didn't react?"

"Are you sure, cause I totally didn’t' feel that at all."

"I need to go look at my notes." Twi then flew off

"Pinkie, do you think she even remembers why she was upset earlier right now?"

"Wings feel weird."

"Right."

Of course getting Twi to focus on something else is probably a really good idea right now. I would feel super proud of myself if that's what I had actually been trying to do. I looked back and saw weird little nubbins on my back. I really hop those don't come in weird. That would suck. Then Pinkie was standing on the ceiling her wings flapping lightly.

"Help Dashie, I'm stuck."

I just stared. Honestly it was a really easy trick to pull off. I mean pegasus foals even did it sometimes. But it took effort. It took at least a little concentration. In short there is no way she should possibly be stuck. If anything she should have trouble staying up there since she was a full grown pony. But it was Pinkie. I sighed.