College Romance

As I began to drive home, my phone started ringing again. I looked at the phone and noticed it was Tavi calling again, "Hello?"

Her voice was shaky and hoarse, "Finally, I've been trying to get a hold of you for the past hour! Where are you?"

"I'm in the car driving back home."

"That's great. Did you enjoy the party?"

A wave of guilt washed over me and I nearly drove off the road, "Uh...y-yeah."

She started to sound more worried, "What happened? Did Neon try to do anything to you?"

I fell dead silent, my mind completely going blank. What was I going to say to her? I didn't want to lie to her, but I did want to tell her the truth either. How could I have let this happen? How could I have let myself get swept up in lust for someone that I didn't care for that way? I'm the worst kind of person. I couldn't bring myself to say anything to her at all. I wanted to speak, but the words wouldn't come to me.

"Hello? Vinyl? Are you..."

In a panic I quickly ended our call. I put my phone in the passenger seat and continued driving down the road. What was I doing? I cheated on Tavi, and now I'm running away from doing the right thing and telling her the truth. What's happened to me? I tried to clear my mind and think of how I was going to get myself out of this. But there was nothing that I could do.

This isn't the first time I've cheated on someone I loved. When I was dating Neon a few years ago, he had to move to another city for a few months. We did our best to have fun online, but that only worked for so long until I started to crave real intimacy. I was with my best friend at my house talking to Neon one night. After he and I finished talking, I began to make moves on my friend and ended up sleeping with her. I couldn't bring myself to tell Neon at all about it. But soon, he found out from one of his friends that I had slept with my best friend and we ended up breaking up.

My phone rang again, snapping me back to reality, "Hello?"

"Vinyl, why did you hang up on me? Is there something wrong?"

"I'm fine Tavi, I'll be home in a bit."

"Look, if something happened you can talk to me. I'm he..."

Once again I hung up the phone in panic. This wasn't right. I was lying to Tavi, and I was lying to myself. I was lying to myself because I still had deep feelings for Neon, but I just didn't want to admit it to myself. He was always a kind and caring guy, we never had that many troubles when we were together, he put me before his own needs, and he was always there for me. He and Tavi are exactly the same, and I took advantage of both of them.

I never meant for any of this to happen. I thought it was going to be different this time. I thought I could redeem myself from so many failed relationships. But instead I went and let my lust overpower me again. I don't deserve anyone. I deserve to be alone.

My phone rang for the third time, "Hello?"

"Vinyl stop hanging up on me! I'm trying to help you! If there's something wrong, you can tell me. I just want you to be happy. I want you to know that no matter what happens, I'm going to be here for you. I love you Vinyl, and I always will."

My heart sank to the floor, shattering to nothing more than a pile of dust. "T-Tavi...I...I'm sorry." I hung up the phone again, tears streaming down my face. I'm nothing more than a whore who doesn't deserve a girl like Tavi, or a guy like Neon. If only I had told Neon the truth about me and Tavi, this would've never happened. I wouldn't be trying so hard to avoid my fear of loosing her. I wouldn't trying so hard to hide the truth.

Again my phone rang, but I didn't answer it this time. I was too afraid to here her innocent voice. I was too afraid of what she would say once she found out. I was too afraid of everything. This wasn't what I wanted to happen, but it's too late to change the past.

I was no longer paying attention to the road anymore. I was suddenly blinded by another car's high beams. I tried to swerve out of the way, but it was too late. I crashed head on with the other car and was thrown out of the passenger door, my body limply rolling down the street quickly smacking into a wooden fence and coming to a dead stop. I had blacked out for a few moments, only coming to for a brief moment as my phone rang in front of me, Tavi's number flashing on the screen. I tried to reach for my phone, but quickly black out once again.