Big Macintosh's Big Fat Wedding

Big Macinstosh's Big Fat Wedding

by neorenamon

Time passed since the delivery of the Apple Family Clan Shield, and it was a couple of week before the requested sign and patches were delivered from Canterlot to Sweet Apple Acres.  They had to hang the stallion-sized sign over the barn door, as they didn't want to cover up any windows on the house.  Twilight used her magic to hold the sign in place while Applejack and Big Macintosh worked on the hammering and nailing part of the chore.  But being the mare she was, Twilight had to spend at least half an hour making sure the sign was just right before she'd allow one single nail to be driven in place.  Jifar was on hand in case she was needed as well as moral support, but Granny Smith and Apple Bloom were mainly there just to watch.

But about the time the sign was hung, a postal pony came up the lane driving his cargo mail wagon dragon by a pair of mules.  They diverted from the pony time before history was recorded so that no one really understood why they remained four-legged beasts while the ponies began going upright and gained their hands.

Apple Bloom went to greet the driver as he came in the main compound.  "Howdy mister," she said with a smile.

"Howdy Miss," he replied, "Equestria Postal says you have a large package to pick up?"

"Yeah," she replied, "It's sitting over on the front porch over there."

He looked over at the porch and spied the cow-sized crate there.  "Goodness," he said, "Are you shipping farm parts or something?"

"Oh no," she replied, "That's just the invitations to Sir Big Macintosh's wedding coming up."

His eye twitched as he said, "That's... just... wedding invitations?!"

"Yessir!"

He looked from her to the box and back.

"We all have a real big clan," she clarified.

"I... see..."

As he stepped off the wagon, she said, "That's a mighty fine ass you have there!"

He stopped cold as one donkey turned to the other and said, "I told ya so."

The other looked back and said, "She's obviously talking to me.  You break the surface of the water in the trough in the morning, yer so dang ugly."

"Yer just jealous that I'm a bigger ass than you."

"No argument there."

"Don't argue," said Apple Bloom, "Yer both pretty."  She dug into her pockets and brought out two large ripe apples.  Then she offered one to each of the beasts.

"Thanks Missy," they said as one, and made the apples vanish in one bite.

"I love deliveries here," said the one mule, "They got the best apples anywheres."

"Dang straight," agreed the other.

The postal stallion made his way to the porch to examine the package.  He seemed unsure that he could carry it back to the wagon by himself.

"And Apple Bloom here," said the first, "a real sweetheart to us workin mules."

"Aww," she replied.

"It's true," he said, "Gives us treats every time I come over."

She nodded.

"I could get used to this," said the other.

"A-yup."

Jifar wandered over to the porch as the postal stallion looked it over.

"Howdy ma'am," he said, "I'll have this gone in just a... oh my."

She had already hefted the whole package by herself.  He looked on in both shock and awe.

"It is the least that I can do," she said, "to help an able stallion like you."

"Uh... thanks," he said awkwardly, "Just drop it off in the back of the wagon... if you don't mind."

"I do not mind," she replied as she walked down the steps, "To help is kind."

One donkey looked at the giraffe, and said to the other, "I'd work myself to the bone for some of that ass."

"That's a giraffe, numbskull," said the other.

"How do know?"

"Ah saw it in a book once," he replied with a smile.

"Still..."

Apple Bloom shuffled her feet as she blushed.

"Ya shouldn't talk like that in front of the innocent," scolded the other mule, "It ain't decent."

The first mule looked at her as he said, "Sorry Missy."

"It's... okay," she replied softly.

"Asides," said the other, "Ya know we both been 'fixed'.  We ain't gonna ever have no kin."

"But I can dream..."

Jifar carried the crate around to the end of the wagon.  Then the wagon sagged as she loaded it on.

"Thank you," said the postal stallion, "You must be expecting a whole lot of guests for one wedding."

"I must say our guess is fair," she replied, "that there shall be many attending there."

"Have many kin here abouts?"

"My kin shall not have much representation," she replied, "as they all live in a far away nation."

"Do you plan to visit sometime?"

"While I strongly wish to see them more," she replied, "the land is still torn by strife and war.  Some day I hope for the violence to cease, and the land may well know peace."

"I see," he replied, "Perhaps one day your wish shall come true."

"While that day seems so far away," she replied with a sigh, "I have a place full of love that I can stay."  The last part was said as she looked at Big Macintosh on the ladder.

"Well, I gotta make more pickups before the end of the day," he replied, "so I should really be on my way."

She smiled and nodded.