Author's Note

BY GARR IT'S A FAN FICTION!
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You guys are fucking weird. I love it.

YARR

I stood at the helm, staring into the eye of a great storm. The smell of brine and the occasional splash of ice cold water greeted me as my two masted clipper was thrown about violently. The usual warmth of the tropics was obliterated by the icey tear of the hurricane’s wind.

“Argus, tie off the bowline, now!” I screamed, trying my best to force the helm back into position, the wind pulling us into the heart of the storm, “Boys this might be it, I think we’re go’in inta’ ta’ drink!”

My crew let out inaudible cries of fear and anger, the entire ship starting to keel over. The dark sea would soon swallow us whole. The massive darkness that laid far off, a huge whirlpool, drew closer and closer as the seat tossed us about.

I held on tight as the smell of salt grew heavy and the swirling voil enveloped us, throwing us deep into the warm caribbean sea. I held my breath, trying to watch as the last vestiges of light faded into existence, throwing me into a swirling damp.

*~*~*~*

Celestia started shifting on her throne, her stomach gurgling loudly. “...Not again, please not again,” she whispered to herself, rubbing her lower stomach. A growing grumble was causing her quite a bit of worry.

Her guard could recognize the signs and stood far away from the throne. It had been nearly two years since the last incident, and now it would seem that once again the halls would be graced by yet another otherworldly expulsion.

The smell was telling enough, thick, warm, salty, fishy even. The guards could only hope that their distance would keep them safe. But as the churning grew audible, the grumbles louder, it became truly clear just what they were in for.

Celestia’s stomach ceased its gurgling, giving the worried princess a few minutes of respite. “...Guardsponies...can somepony fetch--” she stopped herself, feeling her stomach twist into a myriad of knots. “Oh dear me...oh no...here it comes….”

The gurgling grew louder and louder as Celestia rocked back and forth on her throne, teetering her backside off the front of her throne and holding her gut, “Oh god...it’s coming out!” she cried, feeling something warm trickle from her pussy. Her entire body clenched up as the rift opened fully.

A gush of seawater rushed from Celestia’s cunt, spewing sea life and brine across the throne room floor. A small flood nearly threw the guards through the window. And octopus was thrown during a strong surge, tossed onto a passing servant and wrapping around the pony’s face. The beautiful stained glass was now audience to an amazing flood of salt water spewing from Celestia’s royal cooter.

“Buuuuuuuuck- it’s coming!” Celestia screamed, feeling something unbelievably hard enter her body, spreading her strong muscles and filling her to the brim. Shockwaves of confused pleasure rippled through her stomach, growing insanely strong and leaving Celestia in a haze.

Little by little the seawater stopped, giving way to a large slick masthead. A pointing hand was soon jutting from Celestia’s pussy, giving way to more and more of a strange seaborne creation. Celestia was lost in space, spazming and trying to keep focus while her body, wired to send her to a special place when faced with such a massive insertion, went completely limp and let the massive beast slowly ooze out of her.

The smell of brine gave way to fish and oak as the masthead passed from Celestia’s vagina. More and more of the lost clipper’s bow. Soon the hulking ship was squeezed from Celestia’s body, a strange monkey throwing themselves from the railing and into the tide of water.

Celestia was in space as the midsection of the two masted clipper pushed her muscles to the brink, causing her to let out a short squeak as the crowsnest flung into the open air of the throne room, a scared looking man with a monkey taking a gasping breath and clinging to the mast for dear life.

A loud groan cried out from the large ship as it slid across the stone floor of the large hall. The guards swam for their lives as they hit the edge of the room. Meanwhile Celestia was barely conscious, each barnacle and blemish of the slick copper bottom ship sent her into a hazy world of pain and pleasure.

The ship was sliding from its fishy tomb, pushed by Celestia’s muscles until the poopdeck caught in Celestia’s seaworthy slit. “It’s stuck!” she screamed, holding her lips open as the paradoxically small ship grew to enormous size just as it left the confines of Celestia’s vag.

A screaming man, gripping the slimy wheel of the ship and shaking his fist in rage quickly slid from her body, “I bloody told ya I’d get us through! Ta’ the fishy depths a’ hell and back, we’ll never die!”

Celestia let out a long moan as the final smooth and bumpy bits of the ship popped out of her, leaving her legs apart, lips bright and puffy, and gaping entrance leaking warm fluids and coral. “Ooooooooh momma...I just came an ocean.” she groaned, jostling her lips and smacking her lips.

The ship tilted to the side, the crew clinging to the lost ship, “Sir, where are we sir!?”

The captain at the helm started laughing, “Yarr, the depths of Davey Jones’ locker, now fire off a broadside and send us off!”

The man in the crowsnest looked around, “Sir...horses sir!”

The captain just started laughing, “I said fire the fuckin’ cannons!”

The gunner of the Celestia spawned ship screamed, “Firein’!”

With a loud rumble, followed by a sputter, three cannons fired, sending cannonballs into the stone floor of the throne room. The guardponies in the room tried to collect themselves, but this was the largest object to pass through Celestia’s porthole in centuries.

“Princess, what do we do!?” a guard screamed, running up to the orgasmically twitching royal.

The princess just started laughing, “I guess...it’s gonna go…back in!” she started cackling before going completely limp and resting against the steps of the throne.

Just as the mania reached its peak, a mismatched creature joined the fray, “Oh dear, something’s a little fishy-” Discord snapped his fingers, summoning up a fresh tuna, “-and just a little slimy.”

“Fire the cannons by garr! Fire them and finish these lancer bastards from afar!” the captain screamed, the gunner running to position.

“Fireing sir!” the gunner screamed, sending a shot through the air and into the ceiling.

Discord looked up, then at the ship, “Oh my, I didn’t even, have, to do anything this time! Oh Celestia, I always knew you had a pocket of seamen in your--” Discord was cut off as the cannonball dislodged, slamming into his crown and leaving him in a small twitching heap.

Soon enough the crew of the ship gave up, resting their haggard bodies and leaving the twin guards staring at a horrifying scene of seawater, fish, princess pussy, English sailors and Discord.

The guards looked at each other, standing before the throne. “Not it!” one screamed.

“Damn it, no, no no no, not again! I cleaned up the last time!”

“Don’t care! I’m quitting...this shit is getting too fucking harrowing!”

“Minnow, coward, traitor!” the second guard fell to his gut, “Where do I start with this salt sucking scene!?”