"Tweet tweet."

This noise that dared to break the dead silence of the room made it to the ears of a medium sized pony. Craft twitched a bit before she opened her eyes. As she groggily blinked her eyes she noticed that at some point last night she had grabbed a pillow, hugging it close to her body, and that her back legs had some how gotten tangled in the blanket. Bracing herself against the cold that pervaded the room she sat up and looked around. The desk chair still laid broken in it's many pieces, scratches defaced the floor from where she had violently pushed herself from the the desk. There were more scratches where she had thrown it against the wall. The doors to the balcony still had some glass left in them, most of it still remained on the balcony itself, the metal frame dented from being slammed open. Craft paid each act of furniture-targeted-malice only a few moments of thought before she got out of bed and went to the bathroom.

She noted a few things about herself when she got to her hooves. First was the stinging in the bottom of her hooves. Every step felt like needles being repeatedly jabbed into them. The next thing was the fact that she felt surprisingly fine, emotionally. Despite everything that lead up to her rampage last night she felt fine. Not happy per se, but fine. Likely enough it was BECAUSE of her breakdown that she felt so good. She was still unsure what to do, what she wanted, and what she was going to say tonight, but just having been able to let everything out, without any filter she was able to drop some heavy weights. Without any of her normal outs for stress like her friend, her family, video games, and other such things, the stress had just kept building. Last night was the point where it all just boiled over, but to great effect. Now, she would be able to deal with what was coming with a strong front and a clear mind.

"No matter what, I'll be ready now to make the best of it." She said, as she walked into the bathroom.

The first thing she did was look at herself in the mirror.

"Hue boy."

Peering back at her was by far the worst looking pony she had seen. While it was the first time she had looked at herself in a mirror for any other reason than to brush her mane and tail, it still shocked her a bit just how bad she looked. Her hair was at odd angles and knotted in many places. Her fur stuck out in patches. She could see where it was darker from her tears running through it, black bits of dried blood clung to her hooves. There were dark lines under her eyes, which had been normal for her back in her old body, but just looked out of place now. Her eyes were slightly blood shot. Reaching a hoof up to her face she saw why it was they were stinging, a couple small bits of glass was embedded in them, having previously gone unnoticed in her mental state last night. All together it was a package that clearly showed the scars of her emotional battle last night.

"I need a shower...and tweezers...and to pee..."

With a quick pit stop, a half hour of figuring out how to get the glass out without the aid of tweezers she couldn’t find, and a soothing shower she was back at the mirror. Sitting on a towel she had placed on the floor, she looked at herself again. Her mane was stuck to the sides of her head but was no longer knotted. The fur told a similar story, mated down against her skin but still clean. The dark spots under her eyes were still there but less noticeable. Her eyes had cleared up completely, showing off their natural hazel brown. She just watched herself, ears lightly twitching, letting her eyes take in every detail as though she was seeing her body for the first time again.

("Would I want to stay like this?")

She had, more or less, gotten used to being a pony. She couldn't deny that she felt comfortable in her own skin now. Manipulating stuff with her hooves was simple enough, being able to handle more delicate things with greater ease each day. Of course she'd gotten walking and running down pat her first day. She never really noticed her tail, it just kind of did it's own thing and never bothered her, the only real nuisance being when it came to brushing it. Her muzzle just felt like a longer version of her old mouth and her ears felt absolutely great when they were stroked the right way. Her senses were better and she just felt healthier, though she did miss her glasses. Overall there wasn't really anything about being a pony that she could say she disliked.

Her hair began to puff out as she sat there evaluating herself.

("So what about the being a girl part then?")

This was still confusing for her. She just couldn't figure out being a "she". It was so different from everything she had grown up being. There were times when she hated having to deal with all the new chemicals running through her body making her do things that she thought were humiliating. But then there were times when she felt better than she ever had before. She could not help but feel happy that she might actually be considered attractive. While before she wasn’t the ugliest thing around, Ryan’s acne and weight just seemed to be too much for any girl he had asked out to look past. She can’t describe the feelings she gets when a stallion, and this one mare this one time, looks at her with desire in their eyes. It wasn’t a bad feeling, it felt good on a physical level, but the questions it arose in her were what made so hard to understand.

(“God I just can’t figure it out. If I thought about it back as a guy I would have just said it was a sexual thrill, but it feels like theres more to it than that. Like...like it COULD mean more.”)

Craft remembered how despite her extreme awkwardness about the subject "My First Heat: Whats Happening to Me?!" had been a very loving tale of of a mare experiencing her first heat and exploring it along side her coltfriend. Even at its most risque moments the book seemed to have a romantic feeling to it. At the time she couldn’t help but imagine having somepony hold and talk to her the way the two in the book had to each other. The way the two so clearly cared for each other seemed to only be amplified when ever they did something sexual, or just straight up had sex. Mind you though that whenever she thought about having sex herself she just couldn’t help but feel disturbed by the idea of taking some guys package, natural now or not. In the end it was all a mess of emotions that she could not untangle.

(“It’s still terrifying, despite what Celestia said. What she said was true, I’m scared of the unknown, but something about being a girl still bothers me too. It just feels like something’s gonna disappear the second I accept it. Like...”)

Her eyes locked onto their reflection as it came to her.

("...I'm scared I'm not going to be me. That fundamentally I'll be a completely different person. So little of who I was is left and I’m scared of killing off that last part of me.")

She looked deeply into her brown pools.

("I have changed a lot haven't I? I have a new body, a new name, and a new gender. I've made some friends here...kind of...I've learned how I could live a normal life here...more or less…”)

...

(“Is there anything left of Ryan Kumen?")

She looked in the mirror, not sure if the mare reflecting back was really her.

("Would I even still be the same person if I could go home, back in my old body? Have I changed too much to ever go back?")

She breathed in deeply slowly and let her head drain of everything for a small moment. The silence, even within her own mind, was strong and hung over everything. Only the most minimal amount of her brain was being used, her wanting to keep her thoughts as clear as she could.

Then she opened her eyes again. And instead of the mare she had grown familiar with, looking back at her was the man known as Ryan Kumen. He was looking at her expectantly.

"I still love video games, even if I haven't been able to play. I still have a snarky attitude. I still have the same anger problems. I still have that problem of sleeping at weird places. I...I'm still me."

The barest hints of a smile began to appear on hers and Ryan’s lips.

"Yes, if I do stay here I'll be a girl named Art Craft, and yes, if I go home I'll be a guy named Ryan Kumen. Both have their different set of problems to deal with, but whichever one of them I am, what makes us both so special, what makes us the same person, that is who I'll always be. For better or for worse."

She was grinning ear to ear, her tail wagging happily in abandon as Ryan laughed without noise and slowly morphed back into Craft’s happy reflection.

It had taken several days, numerous unusual encounters, a frustration induced mini rampage, and a cool shower for her to get there, but she was glad to be sure in who she was again.

("You still have no idea what you would do if you lived here. You have no idea if you’re going to live here. You might not even have a choice in the matter. Luna could still be a conspiracy leader, Ryan or Craft you’re still a psychopath, and you’ll go through heat each year for a week if you do stay here.")

And now she was back to square one, her smile being flipped upside down immediately and her tail ceasing it’s back and forth movement. Plus she looked like a furby now since she had forgotten to brush herself.

"Damn it."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Not too much longer now."

Since her introspective moment in the bathroom earlier that day Craft had been trying to keep up her positive outlook even in the face of all her doubts. She had subdued her fur and hair into a manageable state and had left to get breakfast. On her way there and back she had encountered more ponies that had read yesterdays Canterlot Collective and were still eager to give her their condolences or ask questions, having just enough decency to let her eat her breakfast in peace, even if all the stares made her uncomfortable. More or less she just dodged them or gave them some bogus answers that aligned with the story she told Swift. If nothing else it had made for a good distraction. When she had gotten back to her room she had picked out a random book from her modest collection and sat down to read. And so went her day. In and out for food, evade and dupe over zealous ponies, sit down and read. She only deviated from this ounce during the evening when she had worked up the drive to clean up her mess from yesterday, putting all the wood from the chair in a pile at corner, sweeping the glass carefully into the trash bin after stuffing down all the crumpled paper as much as possible, and just using the curtains to cover the balcony doors for now until she could see about getting the windows fixed. Her whole day otherwise was routine, until it was close for the sun to lower.

She was sitting at the edge of her bed, looking at the rays of afternoon sunlight filtering through the curtains. Beside her were some books she had discarded after a few pages for one reason or another before she had found her winner, "Equestrian History Advanced", which was nestled between her hooves at the moment. Her felt nervous. Even though she had been able to release some stress and figure out somethings out earlier, this talk would decide a lot of things about her future. There were so many ways it could go, more of them bad than good. It didn't help that the chapter she had stopped reading at was titled "Celestial Battle, Rise and fall of Nightmare Moon". She had only gotten in a few sentences before realizing that it was talking about Celestia and Luna. It made her more uneasy than ever about what Luna might be up to, if anything at all.

("She has a long past, one that at some point involved her literally becoming evil and trying to bring about eternal night...")

She tried to shelve these thoughts for now, knowing she she was about to get all her answers. Night time had come, the moon high in the sky. It still took her a moment to remember that the transition was so quick because the princesses moved the sun and moon personally. She was now left to wait for her escort. Not sure what to do with herself, having lost the want to read, she just sat on the bed and tried to keep herself calm. It was about eleven minutes later that the knock came while she fiddled with her hooves.

"Princess Luna has sent me to escort you to her personal chambers." Boomed a deep gravely voice from behind the door.

Craft went and opened the door, greeting the bat-pon. This one did not have bat wings, but instead a horn.

("It’s so weird to think that they're just normal ponies with magic armour. I guess that means I need to rename them.")

Craft nodded to the bat-guard, who nodded back and walked towards the elevator. She followed. They were down and out the living quarters soon and walking through the halls. As they walked Craft took the time to try get herself ready one last time.

("Just remember, don't push too hard. I don't want to look like a complete jerk if it turns out I was just seeing things, and if there is something going on...aim for the eyes.")

This line of thought continued as they walked each new hall, Craft covering as many possible outcomes as she could conceive. After about nine halls they reached a large tower. It could be a whole other living quarters on it's own. It had two large doors that held Luna's cutie mark, much like the night courts, but these were much more ornately designed. White dots for stars adorned the around Luna’s cutie mark and were easily seen in contrast to the pure black doors. They seemed to be depicting constellations, but none she could recognize. The bat-guard stopped at just before the towering barriers, nodding to the other guard stationed at their right side. He then turned around to face Craft.

"The Princess is at the top of the tower in her room, I'd advise you not to keep her waiting."

"Right."

Once again nodding he tuned back around and opened the left door motioning for her to step in. She walked forward, taking one more look at her surroundings, before stepping over the threshold, at which point the guard closed the door behind her with a "THUMP". Craft was now left in near perfect darkness, broken only by moon light seeping in through tall windows and the glow of a crystal that sat upon an elevator directly across from her. It was a bit hard to see it around the giant set of marble stairs that spiraled around a pillar in the middle of the room going straight to the top of the tower. It was mostly white, likely to help make the tapestry's and artworks of the night sky or the moon stand out more.

Looking at her two options, she wanted to take the stairs simply for the fact that it would delay the inevitable, but she knew that it would take too long and that she would be incredibly tired afterwards and so walked to the elevator slowly. Once she was inside she looked at the lever with narrowed eyes, before sighing and pulling it down. Unlike it's counterpart in the living quarters however it did not shoot up, but instead went at a leisurely pace. Not so slow as to be inefficient, but still slow enough as to enjoy the artwork that passed by. Craft did not even give them a second look as she neared the top of the stairway.

Going through a hole in the ceiling she saw that she hadn't reached the top just yet. Instead she was in a low built room with a singular window. Like the elevator the stairs also pierced the floor and led up the short way to the next room, which was likely Luna's, if it didn't lead to another separate area. Craft walked around and came face to face with the doors the stairs lead to. They were surprisingly tame, nothing more than two dark blue rectangles with golden knobs. Craft sat at the bottom of the stairs looking at the doors.

(".........This is it. It's time to get all the answers I need.")

Banishing all her doubts and fears to the farthest corners of her mind as best as she could and taking in a slow huge breath, she stood up and walked up to the doors and knocked firmly.

*Knock knock*

"Oh! Ryan! Just give me a moment, I will be there soon!"

Luna’s voice along with the sounds of hooves clacking about greeted a momentarily confused Craft.

(“Oh yeah, I forgot she still calls me Ryan.”)

It was only a few seconds later that the doors opened. Standing there was of course Luna, though she was without her normal royal regalia.

She beamed down at Craft.

"Ryan, I am so glad that we can finally have a proper talk without some form of trouble looming over you. I am also pleased you trusted me enough to come talk to me about personal matters."

Craft smiled weakly and nodded.

"Um, yeah, well, you're the closest friend I've made here so it was kinda the natural choice."

This just made the moon ruler smile brighter.

"Ah, but let us continue this inside."

And so Luna stepped to the side to let Craft in. Craft waited a half second before entering the room, pushing very hard against her hesitation. Once she was inside she noticed the whole room was some kind of shade of blue. Before she could really make any more observations Luna closed the doors and gestured to two large pillows sitting on the ground next to a grand fireplace.

"We can talk over there."

Nodding again Craft made her way to the left pillow, sitting down to face the fire. Luna was right behind her, sitting on the pillow next to Craft's and also facing the fire. Luna looked at Craft and began.

"So “Art Craft”, what is it you wished to discuss with me?" Luna said with a small grin.

Craft glanced at her, not turning her head, before looking back at the fire.

"..."

"Ryan?"

Luna was now looking at her worriedly.

"I...Luna I was.......I'm trying to say..."

Craft closed her eyes and shook her head harshly. Before she could start to really think about what she was saying she turned to look Luna square in the eyes and spoke.

"I don't know."

The rooms silence was broken only by the crackling of the fire and the occasional whistle of the wind.

...

"What do you mean?"

"I mean...I mean that I just can't figure out anything. I have a lot of questions that I don’t know how to ask and..."

Luna scooted her pillow closer to Craft, wanting to try and bring the mare some small piece of mind. Craft didn’t notice the warmth she could feel from how close Luna was to her now, but it still felt good.

“Perhaps it would be best to start slow? Start with light topics and moving slowly into the more pressing ones?.”

Craft was still at a loss and nervously looked at Luna, tomato redness coming to her cheeks. After a bit of thinking she conceded.

“Al-alright, that might help.”

Luna just smiled at the adorable mare as Craft gulped, trying to find words to use.

“If I may plead an idea, I would very much like to hear your reasoning behind this fabricated story.”

Levitating a newspaper over from a coffee table that sat next to the bed, Luna opened it up to a particular article and floated it right in front of Craft’s face. Realizing what the article was about by the accompanying picture and first few sentences, Craft began to calm down now that her mind found something to latch onto. She took one more steadying breath as Luna returned the paper back to where it came. Craft launched into her explanation.

“It’s a cover. I’d never hear the end of it if I actually told her what really happened, so when the reporter that wrote this found me the other day I took the opportunity to make up a new backstory for myself. I went with the victim angle because it would keep a lot of ponies off my back, save those that want to give me their condolences.”

“And the amnesia?”

“Well, I really didn’t have a way to explain why it is I didn’t have a cutie mark even though I’m a full grown mare. So I made it so that not even I know. Helps write off why I was running around like something crazy a few days ago too.”

Luna grinned.

“You are adept at story weaving it would seem.”

Craft’s cheeks went aglow.

“Heh heh, I guess you could say that…”

“A quite masterful guise, I must say so myself. Having your name imprinted on “shredded clothing” found at the scene of the “attack” was a nice touch as well. But I have to know, why did you choose the name Art Craft? I can understand wanting a more native sounding name, but I am curious as to how you came to pick it.”

“It was a no brainer. After hearing a good few pony names I just kinda got the jist of how you came up with them and I thought about myself.”

(-So why didn't you go with Anger Nu-)

“AND you see-” Craft started a little too loudly, sitting up a bit straighter and startling Luna.

“-I like to make stuff. Not like construction or something like that, but making art. I never specialized in anything, like a jack of all trades when it came for art. Master of none. I do like to write a bit more than anything else, but I never thought about taking it up professionally. Art Craft came naturally to me after some thought.”

“And what of your old name? Are you going to abandon the title of Ryan Kumen?”

Craft rubbed the back of her neck, thinking this might be the best place to try and segway into what it is she wanted to talk about.

“Well it’s not necessarily that I want to give the name up, but...I’ve obviously been having a very rough week-”

Luna looked to immediately lose her happy disposition and in it’s place a look of dread came to be.

“And you are here to tell me how bad of a friend I am.”

“Yes, and-Wait wah-!?”

Craft tried to lean back from the lunging teary eyed princess but Luna still was able to grab up Craft in a hug and held on tight as she began to speak rapidly.

“Oh please forgive us! We did not mean to leave you to fend for thy self, we were merely trying to get enough work completed so we may have enough time to give you a proper tour of Canterlot!”

Craft wedged a hoof between her and Luna, the close contact making her heart feel as though it could power a city with how fast it was beating as she tried to push Luna off.

“Luna.”

Luna squeezed harder, Craft only surviving because of her combination of being the hardy type already and being an earth pony.

“We promise to be a better friend to you, just please-”

Despite the alicorns insane strength Craft started to gain ground and was slowly pushing Luna away from her, but this only reinforced in Luna’s mind that Craft was upset with her.

“LUNA.”

“-do not be hasty and leave! We can delegate more work to our assistants and be able to-”

Craft at last was able to untangle herself from Luna’s killer embrace with one more big shove.

“LUNA!”

With the moon mover back on her pillow she turned her head away, worry and an intense blush that rivaled all the ones Craft has had gracing her face. Craft’s own face was somewhere between a glare and confusion, settling on concern after a few calming breaths.

“Luna, look at me.”

Luna looked, tears still somehow at the edges of her eyes and not having spilled over. The pure cuteness was able to force Craft to realize just how fast her heart was going. Her brain went dead for a moment has it tried to processes where the feelings causing the problem were coming from. Not really having the time to figure this out now she just tried to ignore it.

“Guh...Look Luna, I didn't come here about that. That's not even a thing.”

Luna sniffed and wiped her eyes with a hoof.

“Truly?”

“Yes Luna, and besides, now I’m a little scared to try and stop being friends with you. You might hug me to death trying to make me stay.”

The devilish smile Craft put on was the cherry on top the last comment that made Luna face look ready to explode like a volcano. She lowered her head to her pillow and covered her face with her fore-hooves, her muzzle sticking out.

“Please don’t tell my sister, she will never let me live it down.”

“I won’t, but you have to tell me why it is that you freaked out so bad. I remember that you said you didn't have that many friends, but it really can’t be that bad.”

Luna poked an eye out from beneath her hooves.

“You would think that a princess would have more friends, but…”

“But what? It’s not just that you a princess, but you’re also a very nice pony as well.”

This seemed to give Luna the courage she needed to sit back up, but she was still practically glowing red.

“Thank you, and you are not the only one who thinks of me the same, if I may say. I have had chances to convince my little ponies that I am not the tyrant I once was, but trust and friendship are two separate things. My title of princess makes it so that they are too timid to approach me despite my more positive appearance. Even my sister who has had plenty of time to befriend and get to be known by them has trouble getting them to treat her normally. But as I said she has had time on her side and has a decent pool of close friends. As for me, you are only my second friend. Celestia’s student, Twilight Sparkle, being my other. But with her being away in Ponyville our conversations are confined to letters and the occasional visit.”

Luna looked to the floor, her eyes somber.

“You are my only friend whom is right here. When you had sent to me saying there was something urgent to speak of doubts began to plague my mind. I became scared of losing your friendship.”

Luna kept her head down, feelings weighing it down.

“...I understand.”

Luna gave her a look not with malice, but clearly unconvinced.

“I do, really. I've only ever had one real friend myself. His names Kyle Hollows, but he preferred being called Boa.”

Luna seemed to perk up at this.

“I meet him in middle school. I think I've been painting the wrong kind of picture for you, because if there’s any redeeming qualities about me they came when I was almost done with high school. I was not a popular kid, not even really that much of a likable one. By no means the worst, but I was spoiled and needed some discipline. But while I started to turn around near the end of my school days it definitely started when I meet him. Now don’t get me wrong, he was not some goody two-shoes that helped clean up my life. He was a delinquent that had already been in juvie by then.”

Luna’s face tried to contort in confusion but instead it smiled as she giggled.

“Back then he looked like the coolest kid to me. He let me hang around him because how weird I acted, doing whatever I thought was funny no matter how stupid it was. I wasn't aware enough back then to realize that's how it was, but thankfully things changed before I did and everything fell though. You see, none of the other kids cared about him. I mean they hung out with him and stuff, but it was clear that when ever he was out sick, or suspended that they never gave him a second thought. Except me. I’d always ask around and see what had happened to him when he was out, ‘cuz I didn't have a cellphone. And I guess he found out. He started treating me like an actual friend, instead of a dancing monkey.”

Craft began to stare off to the side as the memories came to her.

“We started to hang out outside of school, I’d spend the night at his house, or he would at mine. We’d go places and do stuff. When I figured it out I just let it go. He was my only friend. It really clicked in my head that I was his only friend too when we graduated high school. Every time we talked and he would tell me about his day he never said anything about anyone else coming over or talking with him. Well, there were some girlfriends, but they would always break up with him. It was never his fault though, or at least in my opinion it wasn't. He always treated them great, doing what he could to make them happy.The problem is that he has no taste in women, and always got with little girls that didn't appreciate all the work he was putting in. He showed them a side that not a lot of people saw from him. It’s hard to believe that I even know about it.”

Craft just stared off to the side of the fire, going quiet as her old friend held her thoughts. Watching silently for a moment, Luna cleared her throat and gained Craft’s attention.

“I am sorry Craft, my irrational fears have-”

“Don’t be sorry for anything, I didn't have to say anything if I didn't want to, but that’s the whole reason I’m here right?”

“...Very well, if you are sure. Though that does remind me, were we not trying to ease ourselves into what it was you had come here to talk to me about originally? Do you think you are prepared now?”

Craft was still feeling off, even more so now with the way this conversation has been going, but…

“Yeah, I think I know what I want to say.”

Author's Note

OMGWTFBBQ!!! Hey guys. Man, it feels like it's been forever since I've posted a chapter. I've been working on this one a lot, trying my best to make it as good as possible. I have gotten a new computer now so I now have all the time I need to write, but unfortunately my proofreader is no longer working on the story with me. He just lost interest in writing in general, but he did help a great deal while he was on and I'll keep him credited for the work he did. This does mean that I'm back to doing all the editing by myself, so please don't be too hard. Lastly I'll say that this was meant to be the last chapter, but has I wrote and refined the word count just kept rising. It got to the point that the chapter would be at least two to three times bigger than my average chapter, so I decided to split the last chapter into two. That's all I've got for now, so as always be sure to rate freely & fairly and thanks for reading!