Hellblazer of Equestria: The Trials of John Constantine

Hellblazer of Equestria:

The trials of John Constantine

A Hellblazer and MLP crossover

Chapter 1 Ballad of John Constantine

The sounds of screaming echoed through the halls.  It was the same, always the bloody same.  It didn’t matter where or when I was there was nothing that would ever change the sound of a bloody asylum.  Arkham to Ravenscar Secure Facility every place has the same sounds of the damned here on Earth.  There’s holy men, heh holy men that’s a laugh, that claim there is no hell here on Earth.

Those bastards have never been inside of an asylum before.  They don’t know what it’s like to be around all of that fear, anger, hate, and just plain insanity.  I’ve been to the real hell before, faced the first, second, and third of the fallen there.  Trust me, I’d rather take a stroll through the seventh level of hell and face off against Wormwood before I ever get recommitted to another asylum.

So, being here, in this asylum is insane.  It’s long since been condemned, closed, and those inside shipped to a new world of pain and suffering.  Still, I find myself here, in the ruins of this hellish place in order to speak to a being who has become more and more insane over time.  I look around the room.  I need insanity, pure, true, complete insanity to contact him.

“The things I do,” I mutter.

I step into the room.  The padded walls long since clawed and torn.  I feel the insanity leaking over me, covering me, entering me, and it is through a force of will that I keep it out.  I won’t bloody give it the pleasure of taking me.  Not until I’ve talked to Shade.

“Shade!  You daft bastard I want a word with you!”

“Patricia?” a questing voice asks.

“Shade, do I look like a girl that’s been dead for fifteen years?” I asked.

The room fills with bright colors, those colors look vibrant for a moment before they all become a crimson red.  The walls begin to bleed, old dark blood seeps up through the drain in the floor, but I don’t move.  I can’t move.  If I do then this is all for nothing.  I have one shot to protect Epiphany, my unborn child, Gemma, and Maria.  Shade is insane, but if I can get him to swear, to promise to watch, to protect, then nothing will dare bother them.

“CONSTANTINE!  I said the next time I see you I will kill you!  You took Patricia away from me!  You made her want you!  You cast your dirty suggestion magic on her and ruined her!” Shade roared as he took form.

The years had not been kind to Shade.  He had slipped so much further into insanity than before.  Before he was content to reside in his little world, and create images of his lost love and pretend to be with her.  Now, his clothes changed from the multicolored pinstripe suit he always wore into a multicolored straight jacket, pajama pants, and sandals.  His hair was no longer even pretending to be combed or in place.  It stuck wildly out, showing how far he had fallen.

It was hard to see someone who had so much power, who had one time rivaled Gabriel’s own raw power, so lost to the insanity.  Still, it was that insanity, that power I needed to secure.  Even Shade had to obey promises made.  Insanity or not he had follow any promise he made to the letter.  Even if that promise was part of a deal it had to be followed and obeyed.  Nergal, Wormwood, and any of the fallen that still wanted my head wouldn’t dare try to make a move on Epiphany, Gemma, Mary, or my unborn child with Shade’s promise to protect them.  They’d have to come for me, and I could protect myself.

I watched as Shade raged, the blood on the walls and floor rising up to my chin, threatening to overtake me, drown me, destroy me, but I knew better than to panic.  I couldn’t show fear.  Fear would let the insanity inside of Shade take me.  I couldn’t allow that.

“Shade, I’ve come to make a deal,” I said.

The blood began to reside and Shade’s eyebrow arched before he became solid.  He completely formed and touched the floor of the Asylum for the first time in what could be years.  I was surprised to see him take form completely.  The last time he had been near an asylum he had nearly lost all composure, but then again he wasn’t this lost to his own insanity.

“Do you think I’m a mere demon Constantine?  Is that what you think?  That I’m something that will accept your terms and do so for your mortal soul?  If that is what you believe then you are a bigger fool than I believed.  I know the first, second, and third of the fallen fell for your trick.  I know that Nergal and Wormwood both own rights to your eternal soul, and that they will neither attempt to claim it for fear that their rule over their sections of hell will be thrown into chaos.  I know you John Constantine, and I will make a deal with you only if I can set the terms,” Shade said.

“Well, this just went to shite,” I thought.

I was backed against the wall without any other hope.  I needed Shade’s help, and that meant agreeing to whatever terms he sat.  I cursed myself for not seeing this possibility.  I did royally screw him over with Patricia.  Sure, it’s been fifteen years ago, but fifteen years to a nutter could be an eternity or it could be the span of a few seconds.  With Shade I was going with the span of a few seconds.

“What do you want Shade?” I asked

I felt my teeth gritting, nearly grinding as I waited.  His mouth twisted into a sadistic smile and he stuck out his hand.

“I will send you away, far away.  It is a place where you can’t bother me anymore, and the only way back will be through your own power.  No other magic will help you, unless you find a way of channeling it.  That is my terms,” Shade said.

It could be worse.  I knew it could be worse, but then again I didn’t know where it was that he wanted to send me.  It could be almost anywhere or anytime.  I breathed in and held it for a moment.

“I agree,” I said letting my breath out after a moment.

“What is it that you want?” he asked.

“I want your word that you will protect Gemma, Maria, Epiphany and my unborn child.  I want you to swear that you will not let any being that has a score to settle with me try to settle it with them instead,” I said.

A scowl crossed his face.  I could tell that he wasn’t pleased with the idea of being tied to my family, but at this point I didn’t care.  I was giving up the possibility of seeing them again in order to protect them.

“Fine,” he said sticking out a cloth covered hand.

I touched his straightjacket and I felt the madness inside of him swirl down into the very fiber of my being.  Fears of every inmate, of every child, and of every murder victim filled me.  I screamed as the madness collected around me, and then as my body began to burn a bright unforgiving white.  The blood covered walls and floor of the asylum disappeared from my sight.  Instead I fell straight down into darkness.

I felt something happening, my entire body began to shape, change, and it bloody well hurt!  I felt my ribs breaking, reshaping, and then rebreaking again.  I screamed as I fell, screamed as something ripped through my forehead and stuck out, screamed as my fingers and toes pulled themselves up inside of my hands and feet.  I screamed until my throat was raw and bleeding.  That’s when the darkness began to shift, and change.  I was still falling, but the sky I was falling from was different.

It didn’t look like London’s sky.  There wasn’t a heaviness to air, and there wasn’t a grimy feeling all around.  It felt pure, and the sky looked impossibly blue.  It was peaceful, or as peaceful as a sky can be when someone was falling to their death.  I felt something wrap around me, and my fall slowed.  I landed on the ground and stumbled forward on my hands and feet.

I looked down to see no more hands.  I saw hooves, I glanced back to see no more feet, instead there was hooves.

“Bollocks,” I muttered before I passed out.

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Twilight’s POV

Since becoming a princess I’ve seen more than my fair share of strange events.  Actually, ever since moving to Ponyville I’ve seen more than my fair share of strange events.  I’ve often wondered if perhaps Ponyville rests on some kind of universal nexis that draws unexplained events to it.  It’s something I’ve been trying to study for a while.

Today though, seeing a Unicorn stallion blinking into existence, falling from a height that even Rainbow Dash would be hesitant to go, and dressed in such loose fitting clothing…  Well, it’s not the strangest thing ever, but I’d say it’s the strangest thing for day at least.  I glanced at his golden mane, light brown colored coat, and shook my head.  I felt magic coming off of him, but it wasn’t the normal unicorn kind.  It felt… blended.

When we landed he simply looked at his forehooves, his hindhooves, and then said a strange word before passing out.  I cocked an eyebrow at him before I felt the air shift around me and one of my closest friends landed near me.  She walked toward the now unconscious stallion and touched his shoulder.

“Well, I suppose that’s one way of getting over Flash,” she said.

“Rainbow, this is serious,” I replied.

“Sure is, I mean he’s not bad looking, but what did you do to bring him here?” she asked .

“I didn’t.  He just sort of appeared.  I’m guessing that he had a teleportation spell go wrong,” I said.

“Uh huh, He really doesn’t look like he’s from around here,” she replied.

“Long distance teleportation spell go wrong?” I more asked than suggested.

“Well, whoever he is I bet that he’s going to need some help.  Should we try to take him to the hospital?” she asked.

“Sure, I’ll teleport us there,” I said.

I covered all three of us with the spell, and as soon as it touched him it failed.  I felt the energy of the spell simply fall apart.  I glanced at the unicorn stallion and tried to cast the spell directly on him.  Once the white light of the spell touched him it turned brittle and fell apart.  My eyes widened at this.  There was no pony, no pony anywhere that could simply destroy magic like this when they were unconscious.  Celestia had once told me that Star Swirl the bearded had created a way to break down magic, but it took way too much focus and time to be of any use.

“Twilight, what’s going on?” Rainbow Dash asked.

“I don’t know, but I’ve got to study this!  This is unprecedented!  There are so many questions going through my head about this!  What kind of magic was he using that makes any other magic simply break down?!  I know that there are barriers that Princess Celestia can create to cause magic to dispel, but it doesn’t really destroy the magic.  It just returns it to its natural state.  This actually causes the magic to become brittle and break apart!” I said, perhaps a bit too excitedly.

“Twilight, Twilight, TWILIGHT!” Rainbow Dash shouted.

“What?” I asked.

“How are we going to move him?” she asked.

I thought about it.  We were at least twenty minutes away from Ponyville, but Sweet Apple Acres was closer.  We could ask Applejack if she had a wagon to borrow.  I didn’t want to try and carry him while flying.  If whatever it was that was breaking down magic around him did it to any magic there was every chance that Pegasus flight magic would be affected.  But then again, I didn’t feel strained when I caught him and slowed him down.  I reached down and touched him.  Nothing happened.

“Think we can carry him to Ponyville while we’re flying?” I asked.

“I suppose we could, but if he slips out of those clothes it might get interesting,” Rainbow Dash replied.

I nodded.  She was right.  If he slipped out of these loose clothes there wasn’t a guarantee that either one of us could catch him.  I was sure that Rainbow could, but then again I couldn’t promise that she would be able to.  Instead I looked toward Sweet Apple Acres again and nodded.

“Rainbow, do you think that you could go out to Sweet Apple Acres and see if they can loan us a wagon?” I asked.

“Sure, I was going out there anyway,” she said.

“I thought that you were going to let me test the spectrum ability of your sonic rainboom after our connection to the Tree of Elements became a little more cemented,” I replied.

“Well yeah, I guess, it’s just that I wanted to go by there and maybe see what Mac was doing,” she replied.

“He’s married, to Cheerilee, and besides aren’t you dating Soarin?” I asked.

“Naw, Soarin’s fun to hang out with, but he’s not someone I would depend on being a seriously relationship kind of guy.  Someone who would be fun, has a great body, and knows his stuff, but not really a relationship kind of guy,” she said.

“The great Rainbow Dash is interested in a relationship?” I asked.

She nervously moved her hoof.

“Maybe…  I mean I’ve watched Discord and Fluttershy, Pinkie and Cheese Sandwich, and even Rarity and Thunderlane have gotten together.  It seems like everypony we know is getting together with somepony else.  For a while I thought that you and…” she stopped.

“It’s fine Rainbow.  Finding out what he was really like was the best thing possible.  It most likely has saved me from some heart ache later on,” I said.

“I know, but that wasn’t cool of me,” she said.

“It’s fine.  But do you mind to see if they will send a wagon?” I asked.

“Sure,” she said.

And before I could say another word she was gone.  I looked back at the stallion lying on the ground.  There was something strange about him.  It interested me, begged me to find out what it was that was so different.  I needed to figure out his magic.  It was new, it was different, it was a learning experience, and I needed to step back now.  I couldn’t do this.  There was something coming off of him making me feel so strange.  It felt like all I cared about was discovering everything about him.

I knew that discovering things wasn’t bad.  Being Celestia’s student had taught me that, but not taking another pony’s life or decision about being used to discover things was horribly wrong.  I watched his head move.  One of his eyes opened and I saw a beautiful blue eye.

“Where in the bloody hell am I?” he asked.

“The what?” I asked.

“Oh Bollocks…  A talking unicorn…  Shade you daft bastard!  Where in the fiery pits of hell did you send me?!” he shouted.

“Shade?” I asked.

“Love, do me a favor, and pipe down for a moment.  I’ve got a headache, and I’m talking to a talking horse,” he said.

My eyes widened at the insult.  He called me…  he called me a whorse!

“What did I ever do to you?!” I cried.

He looked confused.  I turned away from him and heard the sound of a sigh.

“Will it make any difference if  I say that I’m sorry?” he asked.

“Not if you don’t mean it,” I said.

“I didn’t mean to upset you.  I really didn’t,” he replied.

I turned around and looked at him.  He looked tired, ragged, and there was still that weird feeling that was coming off of him.  I backed away a little.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

“There’s something strange about you.  I…  I don’t know what it is, and it’s making me feel kind of weird,” I say.

I turn back around and he’s trying to get something out of a pocket of the long off yellow coat of his.  He stops pawing at it and grumbles.

“I need a bloody silk cut,” he muttered.

I looked at him and studied his face.

“Did you mean what you called me?” I asked.

“What did I call you?” he asked.

I sighed and looked to make sure that Applejack, Rainbow, or anypony else wasn’t coming yet.

“You called me a whorse,” I said.

“Isn’t that what you are?” he asked.

“NO!” I shouted.

“I think there is something lacking in communication here.  What does that word mean here?” he asked.

“It means somepony that sells…  Ummm…  Sells themselves for money,” I say.

“Oh, OH!  You thought that I called you a whore!  Sorry, no, that’s not what I meant.  So, what are you then?” he asked.

“What do you mean?” I asked.

He rolled his eyes and looked at his hooves.

“What exactly am I?” he asked.

“You’re a unicorn stallion,” I said.

It seemed kind of obvious.  I wasn’t sure why he didn’t understand what he was.