Hellblazer of Equestria: The Trials of John Constantine

Hellblazer of Equestria:

The trials of John Constantine

A Hellblazer and MLP crossover

Chapter 2 Arcane Darkness

Shade had done something I hadn’t expected when he sent me here.  He had sent me to a world that seems to be almost perfect.  The woman, or mare, I’m staying with is a prime example.  Apparently she’s a princess, has the ability to use magic, but her abilities are similar to Zatanna’s.  It’s almost completely external.  Everything she messes with is in the physical world, and the mere thought of the astral plain seems foreign to her.  I’ve bloody well explained the spiritual realm, how what I do is tied into the supernatural, and she doesn’t understand a bit of it.  It’s all theory and no practice.

I looked through some of her books, most of looks like someone tried to write a detailed definition of what magic was.  The only thing that seems to be close to what I’ve tried to explain is by some Git called Star Swirl.  I looked out the window and watched the rain.  It’s controlled.  The weather is controlled.  They schedule when it’s going to rain, when it’s dry, whatever will happen is scheduled far ahead of time.  I almost wonder if there is something like this happening behind the scenes back on Earth.  It’d make sense.  Every angel I’ve known has been a right bastard, and the way it rains in London I wouldn’t have been surprised if one of hosts had gotten right pissed at some wanker.

Then she flew by.  I turned away from the window.  The voice was the same.  She sounded like Epiphany, and I couldn’t stand it.  It was another reminder of what I left behind.  Sure, her accent was different, but it was almost like hearing Epiphany trying out an American Accent.  I had turned when I heard her voice, and I had half expected to my Pippy, but it wasn’t her.  Her coat, that’s what the one I’m staying with, Twilight I think her name is, called it, was the same color as Pippy’s hair, but it couldn’t be her.

I knew that it couldn’t be her.  It couldn’t be because Shade had promised to protect her.  His protecting her wouldn’t be sending her away.  If I knew Shade his protecting her was watching from the aether.  I felt a bit of Shade’s insanity stirring inside of me.  I pushed it back, forcing the swirling vortex back down.  I let too much of Shade’s madness enter me when we made our deal.  I breathed in and let it out.

“Keep it down John.  You can do this.  It’s just like Ravenscar.  The madness isn’t part of me.  It’s Shade’s, and I don’t have to have it,” I thought.

I looked at the mirror.  The answer would be simple.  He was still in limbo, he was part of the Aether between universes now.  My darker half still drifted out there, and I could send this insanity to him.  I almost started when I forced myself to stop.  My darker half, my demon self, was in a state of near death.  He was harmless now, and if I feed this insanity to him there was every chance he would heal.  If he did then I knew exactly what I would do if I was him.

I knew it would involve me on the business end of a death curse, a slow, painful death curse.  I couldn’t risk it.  Instead I just needed to force the insanity into something else.  I looked around the room I was in and didn’t see anything that would help.  There was my coat, but there was enough attached to it already.  Wards, hellfire, curses, and blessings had all found themselves wrapped into the old yellow trench coat.

I sniffed the air and smelled something sweet.  I walked toward the smell and found a half-eaten cupcake.  It was a present from a welcoming party, something that apparently was thrown for every newcomer to this town.  I looked at it and let the madness begin to collect.  I pictured it, inside of me, moving down my arm, or foreleg, into my hoof, and then I pressed it to the half-eaten cupcake.

It changed colors, becoming darker, the pink became blood red, and it there was an aura rolling off of it.  I breathed out a sigh feeling the weight of Shade’s madness gone.  I looked at half-eaten pastry sitting there.  I couldn’t let it be eaten by anything, and burying it would only allow Shade’s madness to infect the very ground.  A soft groan of acceptance covered me.  I had to contain it.

I had seen the others pick up objects with their hooves, and hold them, but I wasn’t about to touch this thing.

“What’s that?” a familiar voice asked.

I turned to see her.  She stood, curious, observant, and wanting to know.  It was like being with my niece Gemma again.  I shook my head.

“A bit of madness forced out and placed into something it can’t escape from,” I replied.

I felt her eyes on me and looked toward her.

“You can remove insanity?!” she asked.

“Some kinds, why?” I asked.

“Do…  We have a mare in the Ponyville hospital.  She’s been kept away from the other patients, and everything I’ve heard has pointed to something driving her insane.  If you could actually help her…” she started before I held up a hoof.

“First, it has to be specific.  This madness is supernatural.  Shade, the being that sent me here, put it in me.  He does it unconsciously, and if I didn’t know what to sense or feel I wouldn’t have known it was there.  Normal insanity is different.  It’s some poor bastard’s mind pushed to the breaking point and then shoved a little further,” I said.

“Please, could you just see if there is something we could do, and maybe show me how you do it?” she asked.

“Say no John.  Tell her no.  It’s just like Gemma, and you don’t want that on your head anymore,” I thought.

She looked at me, expectantly, then her face shifted to a pout.  It doesn’t matter what universe they reside in.  Women, all women, cheat when they want something.  I looked at the half-eaten pastry and then at her.

“We find somewhere to put this first.  We can’t let anyone touch it.  That madness is dangerous,” I said.

“Oh, I know just the place!  I’ve been working on a special containment box!  So far it works on Discord’s magic, so it should work on that!” she excitedly said as she levelated it into the air.

I followed her to a different room of this tree shaped crystal monstrosity, and watched as she placed it into a glass case.  She closed the lid and the entire box turned black. She backed away from it slowly.

“That’s really dark magic,” she said.

“Aye luv, it is.  It’s created from the fear and insanity of every inmate of every Asylum from where I come from.  All of that insanity leads into Shade, and the poor daft bastard has to handle it on his own,” I replied.

She looked at me completely surprised.

“He handles all of the insanity?” she asked.

“He channels it.  It flows through the aether, and he is connected to the aether.  Insanity needs a living host, and since he’s alive, it uses him,” I explained.

“Why don’t you help him?” she asked.

“Because the nutter won’t let anyone help him!  He either forces them to live with him in his pretend world, or he banishes them to another time, another world, or another universe.  He’s every extreme, and no constant,” I said.

“Sounds like how Discord used to be,” she mused as she led me out to the hospital.

We moved through the street, heading up to the building.  When we finally made it into the hospital I felt it.  I didn’t want to believe it.  It couldn’t be here, it just bloody well couldn’t be here!  Still, every single step deeper into the hospital reinforced the feeling.  The heaviness of it flowed over, and I shook my head.  This wasn’t right.  This place was nearly perfect, but the moment I saw her I saw it.

The blood red and black aura floating off of the mare in the straightjacket seemed to fill the room.  She rocked back and forth, her eyes trained on a single spot on the wall.  I looked at the spot, and saw what she stared at.  It was a single mirror, showing the reflection of rotting red mare with six horns poking through her skull and spine.

She giddily laughed as the door opened.  I growled as I walked in.  It was the same.  It was the absolute blood same.

"Always the bloody same!  It's always the bloody same, even here things aren't that different," I thought as I saw the mare in the straitjacket.

She laughed insanely as I neared her, and her eyes turned milky white.  I cursed to myself and closed my eyes.  This wasn't something to be messing around with.  I had to remember what happened to my mates before.  That exorcism had ended with a pissed off demon taking the heads of most of my mates.  Feces and I was the only two members of Mucous Membrane left.

Not that it really mattered about the band.  We were shite, but we loved it.  No it was seeing my mates torn apart by that thing.  A being straight from the lowest levels of hell, and here was something close to the same.  It laughed at me, not knowing, not understanding, not until I nearly finished the circle.  I bit my tongue and drew some blood.  I spat it on the circle and touched it with my...  hoof.  Still getting used to that.

The mare ran forward and bounced off of an invisible wall.  There was a gasp behind me and I knew what was going to happen.  I fucking knew, and I didn't want to allow it.

"Seeing something you like luv?" I asked without looking.

"How... You didn't cast a shield or barrier spell," her voice said.

"You focus on the here and now.  Trust me luv, what I'm about to do will ruin you.  Leave, walk out that door, and never come back to see this again.  You don't need it.  You're happy.  You've got friends, you don't see things you aren't meant to see, leave, and forget about this," I replied.

I wanted her to listen to me.  She was a good kid, reminded me so much of Gemma.  Always interested in what Uncle John was doing, how he was able to see spirits, talk to ghosts, lay the dead to rest, wrestle demons, and stop the world from falling into hell.  She wanted to know, and it ended up ruining her.  She's a neurotic mess now thanks to my curse.  Constantly looking over her shoulder, constantly worried, wanting to stay away from the power that lives inside of her.  And that fear was enough to let one of Wormwood's lower level soldiers rape her mind.  I still remember pulling the little bastard from her head, destroying him, but damage done.

I don't want to watch it happen again.  Not with a nice kid like her.  Not with her reminding me of what Gemma used to be like.

"I want to learn," she said.

"So magic eh?  I wonder what it was that you wanted when you first wanted to learn.  Probably so long ago you don't even remember, but I figure it was something you believed was worth taking the risks for.  Money, sex, power, revenge, something like that right?  Maybe it was thinner thighs in thirty days, but whatever it was I'm going to tell you something for free," I said turning around to face her.

To her credit she stood strong, ready, and defiant to anything I might say to change her mind.

"At rock bottom, it's always about the same thing. It's always about entropy.  The universe is winding down, and the moving quill is writing on the wall, and what it says is 'Tough Shite'.  You can't get something for nothing.  You've got to work for a living.  Putting in more effort than you'll ever get out.  That's the third law of Thermodynamics, and it's the one we love to hate.  Take that mug of cider you drank earlier.  Someone had to gather the apples, test them, look them over, and then process them into cider.  A whole lot of energy spent to get a little back.  But what about cheating the tax man.  What about summoning up a demon to give you a mug, or creating it from the raw materials at hand.  Well then you've cheated the system, and you start getting cocky!"  I shouted as I looked at her.

"You get cocky and then your best mates pay for it!  Something comes out and it knows that you've played the system, it knows that you're a cheat, and it will use that against you.  That thing, inside of that mare, it's like nothing you've faced.  It will crawl into your head, bend your mind over, and fuck it until you go insane.  It doesn't care what you can do here, because it doesn't exist here.  Walk out, and leave the room.  You don't know what it is you're asking to learn," I said.

"I'm not leaving," she said.

She acted far too much like Gemma.  I turn from her.

"Don't look at it.  You don't want to see," I said.

I walked toward the mare who was still throwing herself against the edge of the circle.

"I'm addressing the entity inside," I said.

"We are the devourers of minds, the feasters of souls, and you little unicorn will become our next victim," several voices said at once.

"Tell your boss, when you see 'em, that John Constantine sends his regards," I said before I closed my eyes.

"Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus...

hanc animam redintegra...

lustratus!

lustratus!"  I shouted as a weight began to press down on me.  I heard something drop and then there was a scream.  I scream that only comes when someone's entire world had been changed.  When things they believed to be true suddenly were called into question.  A scream that meant that the lavender princess had finally had her exorcism cherry popped.

I couldn’t take my eye off of the demon facing me.  It roared out in defiance.  It’s hooves striking the invisible wall separating it from me.

“Settle down right now,” I said.

“We’ll swallow your soul little stallion!  We’ll take control of your mind and rape you into submission!” its voices cried out.

“No you won’t.  Because I know your name,” I said.

It stood very still.  Its face hardened, milky white eyes narrowed, and a bit of orange flame escaped through its nostrils.

“Then say it,”

“Rosacarnis, seductress, duchess, and second in command of the realm of lust I command you by your name,” I said.

She growled before she knelt.

“What is thy bidding?” she asked.

It was her.  In her truest form, or rather it was a copy of her.  If she existed then Nergal existed here as well.  These ponies were defenseless against them because they didn’t know.  They believed in magic, because it was part of their known world, but beings like her.  She was different.

“Return to your realm, and spit into your father’s eye,” I said.

Her own eyes widened before she screamed in anger and was engulfed in orange flames.  I watched as she burned away into ash before I rubbed my hoof through the circle breaking it open.  The mare on the floor groaned looking up at me with confusion.

“Where am I?” she asked.

“Somewhere you don’t deserve to be luv.  Come on, let’s get you out of here,” I said.

I turned and saw Twilight, slowly regaining her composure.  She faced the ground, her eyes looking away from me.

“It’s real,” she said.

“Yes,” I answered.

“All of it?” she asked.

“And more.  You’ve seen them, and they don’t like to be seen.  You will never be able to turn it off now,” I said.

“I… I didn’t know,” she whispered.

“I know, and I’m a right bastard for letting you see it,” I said.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXRainbow Dash’s POV

The weather team ran like I expected.  Well, more or less.  Thunderlane kept wanting to hurry up.  I knew he wanted to go see Rarity as soon as he could, but the weather came first, and then anything else.  After the rain finished I cut everypony loose and headed down to Twilight’s.  She had that strange stallion staying with her, and to be honest I wanted to know what her plans were with him.

I noticed that besides the guards, there wasn’t anyone home.  I snorted in annoyance, ready to leave, when I spotted her walking back from the hospital.  Near her was the strange stallion, and there between them was Screw Loose.  Somepony had let that crazy mare out, but she wasn’t acting all crazy and shouting at trees and rocks.

I neared them and Twilight looked toward me and then behind me.  She let out a scream and jumped back.  I turned around and didn’t see a thing.

“Okay, what was that about?” I asked.

“Trust me, you don’t want to know,” the strange stallion said.

“What are they?” Twilight asked.

“Souls, unable to move on,” he replied.

“What is going on here?  Did you do something to her?” I asked.

I eyed him ready to beat the stuffing out of him if he hurt Twilight when she shook her head.

“No, I wanted to see Rainbow.  I wanted to see, and I saw it.  I saw…  I don’t know what I saw,” she said.

I looked at him and shoved him hard.

“What did you do to my friend?!” I demanded.

“I tried to protect her!” he shouted at me.

“Horseapples!  What’s wrong with her?!” I shouted back.

“Rainbow… I need to find Spike.  I’ve… I’ve got to contact Princess Celestia.  I need to tell her about this,” Twilight said.

I glared at the stallion as he looked at me.

“I didn’t hurt her,” he said.

“I’m coming with you, and you’re going to explain what happened,” I said.