Psychquestria

Twilight only meant to teleport upstairs. She wanted to get a good look at the alignment of the stars through her telescope in the observatory. She was taking notes for Luna, who was home sick in bed. Who knew even alicorns got the cold? The stars only aligned like this once a year, and she was in charge of making sure that they aligned properly and normally. Otherwise, she'd have to tell Celestia about it so they could be fixed. Honestly, that was pretty much it. So when she landed on top of this nearly-hairless-covered-in-cloth thing, she was as freaked out as it was. Well, maybe not quite as freaked out. First it began swearing like a sailor. It called her things that offended her great great grandmother's grave. Then it shoved her off of itself (even as she made the effort to do so herself), got up on two legs, and proceeded to brush off it's clothing with it's forelegs. Then it held up the center appendage of it's... claws in a gesture she didn't recognize. It wore a hooded burgundy shirt, black canvas pants, and rubber-bottomed white shoes. The little hair it did have was atop it's head, brown and wavy in all directions. The eyes were grey as storm clouds.

"Screw you!" it intoned. "And everything you and your family stand for!"

"I'm sorry, I don't-"

"Where the hell am I? Did you do this?" it said angrily. "Did you kidnap me?"

"Well, yes and no, I-"

"Which is it?" it demanded.

Twilight got mad. She bound it's forelegs to it's sides and held him airborne, and silenced him so it'd stop ranting. "Yes, I brought you here. No, I didn't do it on purpose, so no, I didn't kidnap you. You're in my home, and you will not insult me or boss me around like that, okay?"

The vision of the creature's grey eyes softened, and a different, less angry light took the place of the inferno that they beheld. It nodded. Twilight thought something about it had changed, but she was not sure exactly what. Twilight slowly lowered it down and released her mystic grip on it.

"My apologies, fair lady- I'm assuming you're a woman- I was simply confused and unsure of my situation, and such emotions end only in frustration. I trust you will forgive me for my rude behavior?"

Twilight was taken aback. This was nothing at all like how he- for at this point she was near certain of the gender- had just been acting. It was as if he had completely rewritten himself. Trepidation in her heart, she forgave him.

He clapped once. "Good! Great. Marvelous. Now, if I may ask, what exactly are you?"

"I'm an alicorn, and Princess of Friendship."

"'Alicorn?'"

"A cross between a unicorn, earth pony and Pegasus."

He snorted and shook his head. He muttered something about the 'correctness' of the Greeks and the ridiculousness of the situation. "You've already demonstrated magic on me, so that's irrefutable. I take it that as royalty this is a monarchy or something similar?"

"Similar. A Triarchy."

"Oh? Three royal rulers?"

"Yes. I'm one of them, and we have close ties with a fourth ruling a specific area to the north."

"Interesting. Do you have a name?"

"Twilight Sparkle. Do-"

"Ross. Ross Gregory."

Twilight giggled. "What an odd name."

"A name like yours would earn you little respect, knowing the nature of some humans. Then again, there are those who'd respect you for the boldness of the name. Hm."

"Human?"

"That'd be what I am. Evolved from apes, stood up straight."

"Oh, so a human is a nearly-hairless form of upright ape?"

"Fairly good description." Said Ross, mildly impressed. "You have apes here, but no humans? Curious."

"It is." Twilight said, catching herself staring before he did. Fascinating, a whole new sentient species...

"So where exactly am I?"

"Your in the observatory of my castle."

"Country?"

"Equestria?"

"Never heard of it. Not Earth, I'm guessing?"

"No, this is Equus."

"Excuse me a moment." Ross said, releasing a deep breath. He walked over to the balcony, staring off into the starry abyss above. Then he let loose a stream of profanities that flowed for a solid three minutes. When he finished, he turned to her with a smile.

"Well, it's been nice meeting you, Your Highness. Now, if you could kindly send me home so that we may never have to speak of this again...?"

"Oh! Of course. Hopefully the spell that brought you here should send you back..." He horn charged up a teleport spell, and launched it as a bolt at the human boy. He vanished.

"Well, that's settled. I should write about this in my-"

The door slammed open with a bang. Ross stood there, breathing heavily, . "You transported me... to fucking space... for an instant. I ought a kill you."

"I-I'm sorry, I thought-"

"Did you really? I'd never have guessed."

"Listen. I'm honestly sorry, but if that didn't work, then I can't get you home. The stars have moved since I teleported you here- accidentally, I might add- so there's no way I can take you back to those interstellar coordinates."

Ross took the nearest table and flipped it, then threw the comically large telescope off the balcony. He smashed a window with his bare fist, bloodying the glass and his hand. Twilight restrained him, finally overcoming her shock at the actions.

"Let go of me you royal bitch!" He yelled. His eyes seethed with rage unlike any she'd seen before, even in the darkness of Sombra himself. It wasn't with direction- it was just aimless, ready to snap up and burn anything that drew too close. But it wasn't entirely bad either. Within the rage, there was a warmth. A small consolation to the burning, but a kindness underlying it's unpleasantness. The light she'd seen earlier. The one who had spoken with her civilly was gone, consumed in this inferno.

"When you calm down, I'll let you down."

"Lemme go you purple prick!"

Twilight repeated herself. She sat down on a cushion near where the flipped table had been, resetting it's contents. She began to take notes on his behavior. First he would rage. For hours. Then he finally began to make logical and cordial sense. She released Ross, noticing it was nearly dawn at this point.

"Thank you," he said, flexing his bloodied hand. "It's rather uncomfortable to be totally immobilized."

"You're Neurotic, aren't you?" Twilight asked bluntly.

"Ah, finally. Someone who understands. It's annoying to explain that to someone who has no background knowledge. Do me a favor and don't go spreading that around. Better for first impressions."

"So I guess this means you apologize."

"Oh no. I'm still quite angry with you over this." He said, rubbing the dried blood off his hand. "I'm almost entirely not sorry for what I did."

"'Almost entirely?'"

"Long story. Making it short, I think in three personas, two of which hate you as of now. Lucky you!"

"Which one am I speaking to?"

"Yes."

"What?"

"I know, quite confusing. Say, we've been at this all night- I'm assuming you call the dark period night- shouldn't you sleep?"

"I should, but-"

"Now that I think of it, how are we speaking the same language?"

"Equestria has a mass translation spell laid across it. So we can communicate with the gryphons and cows."

"Ah. But it is early, and even I was on my way home to sleep when I got here. I feel like it would be best for both of us if we were to take a rest, however brief."

"I..." Twilight found it difficult to disagree. She was growing tired and frustrated of this... human. "I guess that's a good idea. Come on, I think I have a guest room nearby."