Oh look, Equestria

Oh look, Equestria

Chapter 10 - The game is Afoot

'I thought I told her not to wake me' - It had been 3 days since the little accident with Twilight, and it took her only 3 days to go and wake me up in one of her hissy fits. I sighed internally, apparently Twilight Sparkle doesn't give a shit about anything when she's looking for a book. So here I was, brow furrowed in annoyance, eyes screwed shut to try and blot out the searing rays of the sun. I was still in my Thestral form, turns out it actually does hurt to be out in the day...

"Come on, Spike! It has to be around here somewhere" Twilight said in a very annoying, raised voice

"Urghh, Twilight! I've checked that shelf six times now. It's not there! And aren't you worried that you'll wake Tom up with all your shouting?" Spike said, exasperated

"There's no time to worry about that sort of thing! I'm already an entire day behind on my advanced illusion magic studies" 'illusion magic...? This can't be about me, I don't do illusions'

"Twilight, I'm meant to be at Rarity's in ten minutes. I can't keep a lady waiting!" Spike said, matter of factly

"Can it, Casanova" Twilight growled in return 'alright, that's it...'

I groaned, covering my eyes with a forehoof "Twilight, thank you so much for waking me up. It means a lot to me" I groggily muttered

"See, Spike? He doesn't mind" Twilight smiled 'le sigh'

Spike groaned "Sorry Tom, Twilight's on one of her crazy book rampages again" I felt a cushion next to me deform slightly "your clothes are all washed by the way, they're on your bed in the spare room. Why are you on the couch and not your bed anyway?"

"Thanks, Spike. Hey, you said you needed to see Rarity, right? I'll fly you there. And the couch? It's actually pretty comfy, and I couldn't be bothered going all the way there yesterday.. Or this morning, I guess? Meh, this day sleep thing confuses me" changing my eyes slightly to reduce the glare, I opened my eyelids and sighed in relief. The shift worked, and I could see without hindrance. I looked around the library, and the first thing that graced my vision was books. Books everywhere. They were on the floor, on the tables, on the couch I was lying on, all stacked almost to the roof. I looked back to Spike incredulously, he just shrugged helplessly

Sighing, I stood up and got off the sofa. Careful to avoid knocking any book towers down, I made my way to the spare bedroom. Spike being true to his word had lay my clothes out neatly on my bed. I smiled, trotting into the room and closing the door behind me. Changing into my now buck ass naked human self, I got to clothing my frame. Putting my stuff back in their pockets, I indeed found a couple shotgun shells lying on the bed. Looking one over, I instantly recognized the load and cringed "Oof, 3 shot magnum load... Ouch"

Morbid thoughts aside, I pocketed the rounds and looked myself over. Happy with my appearance once again, I walked back into the foyer, looking for Spike. He was gone? "Hey Spike, you here little man?"

I heard a muffled reply from under an extremely large book "under here, a little help?" I started, rushing over and grabbing the rather heavy tome off of him, checking him for any injuries

"Are you ok? How the hell did you end up under a damn book?" deeming he was fine, I gave Twilight a soft glare. She was completely oblivious... Go figure

Spike waved me off, nonplussed "I'm fine dude, dragon scales are tough. Thanks for the help, though. So when are you going to Rarity's?"

I glanced at the door, standing up and changing into my Thestral, now with sun going eyes! "well, you said you needed to be there in 10 minutes, that was a good 5 minutes ago. So why don't we go now? Jump on my back" Spike nodded thankfully, leaping onto my back with a thud. I looked over to Twilight "Twilight, I'm taking Spike to Carousel Boutique, you're on your own"

Twilight mumbled something incoherently, immersed in scanning every book in her library. I shrugged, grabbing my saddlebags and tightening them on. Walking out of the library, I once again was graced by the nauseating sight of ponies. Ponies everywhere, so many colours... I craned my neck to look at Spike, he was looking at me expectantly "so, scales... Which way?"

Spike sighed, facepalming and bringing a clawed hand up to point in the right direction. I nodded, spreading my wings and taking to the air, going slowly in lieu of my charge. I felt Spike's grip around my stomach tighten somewhat, but he seemed to be doing fine regardless. I decided to strike up conversation

"So, Spike... How long have you known Twilight?" I inquired, giving him a sidelong glance, paying more attention to where I was going to avoid collision

"I've been with Twilight for my entire life, she's like a mom to me, you know? She hatched me from an egg back at her entrance exam for Celestia's school for gifted Unicorns" Spike replied, a reminiscing glint in his eyes

I nodded "That's nice, so you were around when she was fighting all those villains and stuff I take it" I banked to the left as per Spike's instruction

"Well, technically I was... But Twilight always leaves me behind, she wants to keep me safe" Spike replied, rolling his eyes

"But you're a dragon... Albeit young, but you've got claws, hard scales and breathe fire... You eat gems for Pete's sake. Hell, you could crush a pony's skull with your teeth if you could fit it in your gob" I raised a brow

"That's what I've been trying to tell her! But no, she doesn't trust me to look out for myself. I'm just a baby dragon she says" Spike shouted, exasperated

I laughed, giving him a pitying gaze "I'm sure she'll give you some more breathing room eventually, just give it a little time"

We touched down outside of Carousel Boutique a few minutes later, Spike jumping off my back and giving me a thankful smile "thanks Tom! You're a really good flyer!"

I cocked my head "well, it's good to know I'm not cruddy. And who knows, maybe it's a Thestral thing? Maybe the wings give me better stability or something"

Spike nodded, smiling "eh, who knows. Well thanks again, I'll see ya around!" he turned, running a few feet before I stopped him

"Hey Spike, come back for a second" I shouted after him

he turned and gave me a questioning gaze before walking back over to me "what's up?"

"Do you have any money for food and drink? It's pretty warm out today" I replied, sweating slightly under the warm sun's rays. Seriously, would it kill the Pegasi to make it rain once in a while? I hated sunny days

Spike raised a brow "no, why?"

I nodded, craning my neck back and opening a saddlebag. I pulled out a small bit bag, it didn't weigh all that much. I stared at the mumbo jumbo writing for a second before tossing it to Spike "take that, it should hold you out for today" I winked at him

Spike picked the bag up, jaw going slack "holy Cow! 100 bits?! Thanks Tom, you're awesome!" he smiled widely, leaping at me and hugging my face. I chuckled, prying him off and setting him down gently

"Don't mention it, you may be impervious to heat stroke but I don't want you going hungry or thirsty on my watch" I waved him off "you should get going, Rarity's waiting"

Spike gasped, eyes going wide "Oh my Celestia, you're right! I could be late! I gotta go, see ya later!" he turned, running into the boutique and waving

I smiled, looking back up to the sky and taking off. I hovered a few feet in the air, thinking to myself 'I wonder how high I can fly? Clouds are low as fuck here...' I shrugged, shooting up into the sky. I ascended for a few minutes, all the while the ground below was getting smaller and smaller by the second. I leveled out when I started feeling light headed, descending a little bit. I stopped to a hover and my jaw dropped at the sight

I could see everything from up here. I must've been a few thousand feet up, I could see Canterlot Castle in the distance, snowy mountains on the horizon behind it. The Everfree was absolutely massive, it stretched for miles opening up at a desert further on. I found myself spinning on the spot, taking in all around me. I suddenly heard a tomboyish giggle off to my left

I looked in the direction of the sound, seeing Rainbow Dash hovering next to me "you'll catch flies like that, you know?" my jaw shut with an audible click. Shaking out of my sight seeing, I gave Rainbow an amazed look

"It's awesome, isn't it?" Rainbow said to me, giving me a sidelong glance

I nodded dumbly, looking back out to the expanse of land "this is nothing like home. It's absolutely gorgeous" I pointed to the snowy mountains in the distance "what's that, past Canterlot on the horizon?"

Rainbow followed my gaze "Oh right, that's the crystal mountains. Behind that is the Frozen North and the Crystal Empire. Twilight's sister in law rules there with her brother, Shining Armor" she looked back to me "say, what're ya doing so high up anyway? Not many ponies fly this high"

I shrugged "I was just curious to see how high I could go. I started feeling light headed so I came back down a little. What about you?"

Rainbow rubbed the back of her head "I was kinda.... Spying on you and Spike" I raised a brow, giving her an incredulous face "don't give me that look! I was just wondering where you were taking him is all. Which reminds me, you've got good form" she nodded, smiling

"Eh, Spike didn't want to be late to Rarity's so I flew him there. And you're the third person to say that to me, it means nothing to me though.." I furrowed my brow "I don't see how I can be such a good flyer, I know it's kinda hotwired into my brain, same as walking... But still, it's weird"

Rainbow nodded "yeah, I wouldn't understand it either. I saw what you did for him, by the way. That was pretty awesome"

I sighed quietly 'awesome this, awesome that... Jesus H christ...'. Shrugging, I waved her off "I wanted to make sure the little guy had some money for food and stuff. Regardless if Rarity feeds him or not"

We hovered in silence for a little bit. I noticed Rainbow Dash was fidgeting slightly, looking a little uncomfortable. She'd avert her gaze when I looked over to her questioningly. I decided to speak up "something on your mind, Ms. Dash?"

Rainbow Dash started slightly, fumbling in flight "n-no, I'm fine" I cocked a brow, but shrugged nonplussed

"Alright then, I'll leave you to it. Goodbye, Ms. Dash" I angled myself into a dive, dropping a few feet before being stopped by Rainbow

"Wait!!!" I halted, leveling out once more and looking back to her "there is.. Something I've been meaning to ask you"

"Then get on with it, I'm all ears" I flapped my comically large ears a few times to get the point across

She flinched slightly at my crass manner, steeling herself "do you... Dislike me? N-not that I care or anything, because I don't"

I sighed, facehoofing "dislike is the wrong word. Do I like you? Not particularly"

Rainbow cut me off "Oh..."

I raised a placating hoof "I'm not finished.. I don't know you well enough to like you yet. I don't know how you ponies socialize, but as I told Luna. Most of us humans are kinda reserved, me in particular, are neutral if not borderline hostile to a new person until we get to know them better. That being said, do I dislike you? No. Do I find your mannerisms slightly annoying? Yes" I shook my head "there are few people I actively hate or dislike, Ms. Rainbow Dash. They are: males who hit females, child abusers, animal abusers, extremists, drug abusers and Celestia. Does that answer your question?"

Rainbow sighed, slumping "Y-yeah, I'll see you around" and with that, she darted off into the distance, leaving a funky little rainbow contrail behind. I shrugged, not really caring 'probably damaged her enormous ego'. Carrying on with my earlier descent, I started my return to the world below, idly barrel rolling and banking to test my flexibility in flight whilst humming a little ditty in my head

On a whim, I decided to go to Sugarcube corner for a quick coffee before going for a little exploration. Flying through the streets of Ponyville, I searched for the tell tale gingerbread house. I saw it off to my left and banked hard, going into a dive. Gliding to the floor I entered the shop. Idle chit chat was going on inside between patrons, eating assorted treats and sipping on smoothies. I walked up to the counter, where a lanky yellow stallion with an orange mane and apron greeted me "why hello sir, welcome to Sugarcube Corner. I must say, it's not often we get a member of the lunar guard this way"

'Lunar guard...? Are Thestrals really that uncommon?' I raised a brow, scowling slightly at the stallion. This made him almost cower somewhat, his face contorting into slight uneasiness. I decided to just go with it and see what these citizens really thought of their slitted eyed cousins "is that so?"

Mr. Cake stuttered almost inconceivably "Y-yes sir, so... What can I get for you?" he put on a strained smile

I brought a forehoof up, scratching my chin in thought "I'll have a coffee, please"

"Of course! That'll be two bits, please" I reached for my saddlebag, unclipping the lid and fetching out a bag. With some effort I managed to get 2 bits out, depositing them on the counter and putting the burlap bag back, securing the saddlebag once more. Mr. Cake nodded in thanks "thank you sir, if you wait at booth two, I'll see to it that you get your coffee post haste"

I turned, heading for my booth and taking a seat. Looking around, I saw 3 small children eyeing me intently from the booth behind me. One was a small white unicorn with green eyes and a poofy two tone mane. The second was a little yellow earth pony, she had a red mane and a pink bow. The third was an orange pegasus with a purple mane, styled a little like Rainbow Dash. I cocked my head at them, raising a brow "Can I help you girls? It's rude to stare"

The three fillies suddenly huddled, whispering conspiratorially and throwing me sidelong glances from time to time. Eventually they nodded in unison, disappearing under their table. I was confused at first, turning my head back forward I jumped in surprise "mother of ffffff!!!!", I glared at the 3 fillies who had just materialized at my table, repeating my last statement "can I help you three?"

The white one smiled cutely at me "Hi! I'm Sweetie Belle!"

The yellow one followed "And I'm Applebloom!" 'hick accent, apple name... Apple family related' I thought, instantly making a connection

finally was the orange filly "and I'm Scootaloo!"

Suddenly, they all took a deep breath, shouting in unison "AND WE'RE THE CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS!!"

My brain screamed, my ears flattened and I recoiled in pain, grimacing hard and eyes watering "HNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN.... Wow.. That was unpleasant"

The three looked to me in concern, Sweetie Belle spoke up "are you ok, sir?"

I shook my head, pointing at my flattened ears. Comprehension adorned her face, and she blushed in embarassment "o-oh, I'm so sorry! I totally forgot that bat ponies had sensitive ears!" her hooves flew to her mouth, wide eyed "I-I'm sorry, I meant Thestral"

I cocked an eyebrow at Sweetie Belle 'is bat pony an insult for a Thestral?' "It's fine, little one. Don't worry about it. Now, I'll ask again... Can I help you, 'cutie mark crusaders'?" a mug was plonked down in front of me, I looked up and saw Pinkie Pie. "Hello, Pinkie Pie! Thank you for bringing me my coffee"

"Don't mention it Sharpshooter, you four have fun now!" Pinkie winked suspiciously at me, bouncing away and giggling. I looked back to the 3 girls seated at my table

Applebloom spoke for the group, very business like "I think the real question 'ere is can we help y'all?" she leaned in, crossing her forehooves "ya see, we're on a quest to find our cutie marks, and I couldn't help but notice that yer a blank flank too, so whadda ya say? Wanna join us?" she finished with a hopeful smile

I smirked, picking up my coffee and taking a long satisfying sip, resting it back in the table. I leaned in, crossing my own forehooves "and this... Quest, what exactly would it entail?" I looked around and saw parents trying to stifle their laughter at my playing along

Scootaloo was next "We do all kinds of cool stuff every day to try and find our purpose in life!" 'wow, that's just bleak...'

I hmmmm'd in contemplation, scratching my chin "I'm sorry to say, children... But, I'm a Thestral"

They all cocked their heads to the side, one ear flopping "why does that matter?" said Sweetie

"Thestrals don't get cutie marks" upon hearing this, they gasped, looking to each other in disbelief. I laughed, downing the rest of my drink and standing up "I'm terribly sorry girls. But I've got to skidaddle, thanks for the offer!" on my way out I discreetly lay five bits each down in front of the three of them without them seeing, cackling internally. Making my way out the door, I heard them all squeel in delight just as I had finished closing it behind me

The rest of the morning went by uneventfully. I spent it exploring Ponyville, drinking in every inch of the small town and getting a good idea of the layout. Throughout the day I caught glimpses of the same three fillies at Sugarcube Corner. They were following me apparently, and it had turned into somewhat of an unspoken game between us. Eventually 3 fillies had turned into an entire stampede of children all trying to get in on the fun. I would fly off somewhere and count how long it took them to hunt me down. Their record was set at 15 seconds, it was pretty impressive. Then, something unexpected happened

There were kids surrounding me on all sides, blocking me off from any exit. Except for one, the sky. I grinned evilly, flaring my wings and taking off a few feet. The kids all gasped "quick, pegasi! Take him down!!" one shouted, instantly at least 10 pegasus kids plowed into me, knocking me to the floor giggling madly. The other kids soon followed, creating one huge laughing dog pile

Suddenly, a rather authoritative voice cut through the laughter "Sir Sharpshooter, we have come on behalf of princesses Celestia and Luna to deliver you a message" the laughter stopped, and all the kids climbed off of me, allowing me to stand up. I looked to the 2 armored stallions in front of me. One was a unicorn, the other a pegasus. They were both celestial guards, adorned in shiny gold armor

I cocked a brow, taking a step forward "and what, pray tell would that message be?"

The guards looked around at all the children, listening intently. They looked back to me, the unicorn speaking up "sir, we should speak in private. This is a delicate matter" both eyebrows shot up, I nodded

"Very well, lead the way" I gestured for them to get moving, falling in to their side

~#~#~#~#~#~

One uneventful walk later, and the three of us were in a secluded area. The unicorn spoke "Sir Sharpshooter. First, let me introduce myself and my colleague, I am sergeant Aegis. And this is private Windrunner. We are here by request of both princess Celestia and Luna regarding an urgent matter that needs attention"

"Okay, then get on with it, sergeant. I'm a busy stallion" I was getting frustrated fast. These two idiots had just interrupted me

Aegis nodded "of course. But first, allow me to grant you this. Courtesy of her majesty, you can probably guess which one" his horn lit up, and I suddenly felt an unfamiliar weight across my back, aswell as a cold, metallic feel over my hooves. Looking down at myself, I seemed to have been gifted a set of lunar guard armor, slightly modified with Kevlar underlining

My eyes widened, checking myself out for a moment. I looked back to the two guards, a stupid grin on my face "princess Luna, eh? Send her my thanks. Though as to why she gave me a set, I have no idea... Not that I'm complaining" I kinda felt like Luna was buttering me up, trying to sway me. I mean, come on... A nobody like me getting gifts from royalty? Something's not right there

Aegis snorted "indeed, it had been fitted with your invention of Kevlar, you are the first to get a set of armor like that, amongst our captains. Your front hoof guards are also magically imbued to retract two razor sharp mithril claws, all you have to do is clap your forehooves together, and they'll appear. To remove them, simply clap again. Now, for the second order of business"

I straightened up slightly, giving him my full attention. Apparently this was important, may as well be professional about it. Aegis spoke once again "Princess Celestia has requested your assistance in a small matter regarding the Everfree. It seems a small group of Diamond Dogs has encroached upon the border, and she wants you to personally deal with them. It was her understanding that you are a hunter and are experienced in security matters"

I sighed 'how the fucking hell did she know that I'm a hunter? I only told Applejack about that.... Oh wait, the guards... Fuckin' duh' "and I told her in the past that my security experience goes no further than kicking out drunks. Why me?" I inquired, one eyebrow raised

The guard fidgeted uneasily "she... Told me that because you are not 'technically' an Equestrian citizen as of yet, you will be under no requirement to... Go easy on them, so to speak"

"She wants me to kill them" I answered, instantly

Both guards cringed, Aegis spoke up "only if deemed absolutely necessary, sir. She wishes for you to employ scare tactics on them more than anything"

The private spoke up next "as well as that, sir. Princess Luna wishes for you to do this to test your skills, to see if you are indeed capable of joining her ranks"

I nodded, a tiny bit disappointed "pray tell, sergeant. How many dogs are there? What are their armaments, their defences if any?"

The sergeant engaged his intel mode "They travel in a trio, no more. No less, armaments are none existent. Defences are lacking, if you could call leather vests 'defense'" he rolled his eyes

"Okay, and why does she want them gone? Have they done something wrong?" I cocked an eyebrow

Aegis snorted, giving me a disbelieving stare "what more is there to know? They're Diamond Dogs. But no, the princess merely asked for me to bring this to your attention"

I decided to humor him. Giving him a creepy smile, leaning in "tell your princess that she'll find nothing but a trail of dog shit before next dawn" 'I know what you're up to, Celestia. You want to see just how capable I am.... Worried I'll cause problems for you and using a non pony as the collateral? Nice' I thought to myself, laughing internally

Aegis nodded resolutely "very well, we shall return tomorrow night for a full debrief" I nodded in return. Aegis' horn flared, and both guards were gone in a blinding flash

After the annoying blue dot has vanished from my vision, I looked myself over once again. Good lord I looked absolutely badass. I sat down, bring my forehooves together with a metallic *clang*, almost instantly a pair of claws extended on each hoof. I brough them up to my face, grinning and giggling like a madman

After I composed myself, I disengaged the claws, standing myself up and taking flight once more in the direction of Twilight's library. Intent of showing off my new sexy armor

Arriving at Twilight's library, I opened the door just an inch so it was free of the latch. I then spun around and bucked the door open, strutting in like I owned the place

Twilight screeched, whirling around to face the intruder, pony bust floating in front of her as a makeshift shield. When she caught sight of me she sighed in relief, dropping the pony bust and glaring at me "Tom! What in the hoof was that for?! You scared me half to death!"

I struck a manly pose, looking to her and shouting in a gruff voice "''CUZ EVERY GIRL CRAZY 'BOUT A SHARP DRESSED MAN!" I then proceeded to 'doo doo doo' the famous ZZ Top number, air guitaring like a boss. I stopped eventually, grinning to Twilight "do I look good, or do I look good?"

Twilight rolled her eyes "Stallions... Where did you get that armor?"

"Princess Luna sent it to me, apparently she has a little job for me. It's 'gun be gooooood" I replied

Twilight raised a brow "what kind of job?"

I waved her off "not important, now Twilight.... Tell me what you know of the Diamond Dogs"

"What do you want to know?" Twilight enquired

My expression darkened and I narrowed my eyes, sending a shiver through Twilight "everything"

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