Oh look, Equestria

**Oh look, Equestria

Chapter 9 - Excursions and Awkwardness**

"Sergeant, if you would?" Luna said to a seemingly empty sky,not even a second later I heard a dull thump to my right. Looking over, I saw the oddest armored pony I've ever laid eyes upon. She was just a tad shorter than me, had a dark gray coat, long royal blue mane that covered one of her slitted, yellow eyes and a long tail, just shy of touching the floor. She had fangs and... Bat wings? 'wow, she looks amazing'

The Thestral looked to Luna, saluting "My princess, how may I be of service?"

Luna smiled to her guard "At ease, sergeant Silverwind. I merely called you so Sharpshooter could look upon your form"

The sergeant raised a brow, looking to me "I beg your pardon?"

I sighed, facehoofing "Thanks a bunch, princess. Now she thinks I'm some sort of creeper" I looked back to Silverwind "let me elaborate, I need to know what a Thestral looks like. And, I must say.... I like what I see" I cringed inwardly 'Oh gods, that sounded so much better in my head'

Comprehension adorned the sergeant's face "Oh really? You're not too bad yourself... So, no running? No fear? What gives?" 'Oh shit she thinks I was flirting' screaming internally, I put on a neutral face

I cocked my head, choosing to just ignore that first comment and go with it "Is there a reason I should fear you?"

She smiled at this "that depends, but normally ponies are scared of a Thestral regardless"

I laughed "As you more than likely know, I'm not a pony"

Luna got our attention with a curt 'ahem', my head snapped to her "Yes, as I was saying. As I'm sure you are aware of Sharpshooter's circumstances, I shall skip the formalities. Sharpshooter, please inspect sergeant Silverwind, take in her every detail"

I looked to Silverwind "This seems rather.... Invasive, princess. I'll only do it if I have sergeant Silverwind's permission, first"

The sergeant raised a mithril clad hoof to her chin, seemingly deep in contemplation "hmmmm.... Ahhhh...... Hmmm......" she started circling me, eyeing me up and down "Ahuh, ahuh...." completing the circle, she looked me in the eye "sure! I just got a load of you, so consider us even. And for the love of the moon, just call me Silverwind" she flashed a toothy smile

I shrugged "good enough for me" standing up, I started circling Silverwind, inspecting her wings, coat, teeth and mane. I noticed that her coat and mane looked more streamlined than that of a normal pony. 'probably to help with speed' I thought. Continuing my rounds, soaking in her figure. Taking one last quick look at her fangs, I nodded thanks to her. Turning to look at Luna "right then, I think I have what I need...."

Luna clapped her forehooves together "Excellent! Now, if you would please transform, the sergeant shall tell you if you have anything wrong"

I looked around our surroundings, checking for any eavesdroppers. Satisfied, I first changed into my human form, clenching my fingers in satisfaction "ahhh, that feels good" looking to the sergeant, I held out a hand "nice to meet you, I'm Tom"

the sergeant didn't looked fazed in the slightest, taking my hand and shaking it "sergeant Silverwind, a pleasure. Though which name would your prefer? Tom, or Sharpshooter?"

I slumped, huffing "That was a lousy reaction... Waitta burst my bubble.. And just call me Sharpshooter when I'm not in my true form, any other time I look like I do now, call me Tom. Better to get into the habit so others don't blurt out my real name in public. Anyways!" I concentrated on a Thestral form, altering it slightly to what I believed would be a male shape, as well as a few... Experimental changes. I soon felt the familiar transformation take hold. Upon completion, I opened my eyes and was taken aback by the clarity of my new-found vision "holy shit, Thestral vision kicks ass. Gotta admit, these fangs feel odd, but not much different from my normal canines. So Silverwind, how'd I do?"

Silverwind shook her head, I guess the transforming weirded her out somewhat "that... Was the most disturbing thing I have ever seen..." She started circling me once again, taking in my new form "looks good, you've got it dead on. The orange eyes are a little rare, but not unheard of. Spread your wings" I did as she asked "wings look good, membrane is healthy." walking back infront of me, she smiled "you're a Thestral, through and through" she then gazed back at my flank "Ah! One thing though, get rid of the cutie mark, Thestrals don't get them"

I smiled, removing that damned tramp stamp. I hated cutie marks with a passion. They dictated what a pony was going to be good at for the rest of their lives, it felt so wrong to me. So unnatural. "I like this, a lot.... It feels good, especially getting rid of that damned mark. Gods, do I hate them. Hey princess, think you could conjure up a mirror for me?"

Luna smiled and nodded, horn alight. With a quick flash and a *pop!* there was a tall mirror standing before me, allowing me to gaze upon my glorious self. I had the same short and spikey hair style as my earth pony form, but this time it was a deep, dark blue colour. My tail was exactly the same, too. My fur was a charcoal gray colour, funnily enough I still had that damned gray patch in my mane, too. My facial features were what blew me away the most, though. I had deep orange slitted eyes, just like I wanted. I had my own pair of fangs, whiter than even Celestia's coat. Strangely, I noticed that my body was slightly less bulky, and more toned than usual 'probably to facilitate the use of my wings' I mused. I finished gawking at myself, nodding to the princess to dispel the mirror once more

Luna and Silverwind both exchanged glances. Silverwind looked back to me "just remember, it's not the nicest thing for a Thestral getting stuck out in the day time. Our eyes are sensitive, and the ponies can get... Uneasy around us"

I scowled "damn racists, what the fuck is their problem? And the eye thing might not be a problem, I could probably alter them in some way if the need arose" 'huh, reminds me of a certain Zebra Twilight told me about'

Luna cut in "That, is a long story. It would take a while to explain. Let's just say that their history isn't the brightest. It is I, who is to blame for that" Luna hung her head, looking sorrowful

I tried to lighten the mood a little "then let's leave it at that. Who wants to go for a walk?" I started to walk down the hill in the direction of Ponyville, when Luna stopped me

"As much as I would love that, I really need to get back to Canterlot, it was a pleasure, Sharpshooter" She turned to Silverwind "you may return to your rounds, sergeant"

I sighed, dejected "Alright then, just don't be a stranger princess. I liked our little chat. Gods, I need a drink"

Speak of the devil, Luna came to my rescue! "I believe I can help with that. It seems your 'Kevlar' has been greatly appreciated by our generals, field tests have proven its capabilities. And they are very impressed with it. With any luck, it shall be standard issue within 6 months. As such, me and my sister have found it fitting to grant you payment" her horn lit up, and with a flash of magic I had a pair of rather weighty dark blue saddlebags. "In those saddlebags you shall find your payment of 3,000 Equestrian bits. The bags are merely a bonus"

I was shocked, to say the least "Wow, thank you, princess"

Luna raised a leg, waving me off "think nothing of it, and please.. Call me Luna, I'd like to consider you a friend. Oh, and I shall send for you as soon as possible. Tell Twilight Sparkle that you should be expecting mail from me via dragonfire. Inside you shall find all the information you'll need about the guard. I shall save you from the propaganda, you do not look like the one who would appreciate it" and with that, she took flight in the direction of Canterlot. I started off to Ponyville, once again being stopped. This time by a hoof on my shoulder. I craned my neck around, and saw none other than sergeant Silverwind. I raised a brow at her

"I thought you might need a drinking buddy, besides... My shift has already ended, and you don't know where any bars are" she got an evil smirk

I chuckled "talk about backing me into a corner, huh. Sure, I'd like that. Lead the way, sergeant!"

Silverwind gave me a triumphant smirk, flaring her wings "you can fly, right?"

"Well, I've never tried... But, I didn't have to learn to walk on four legs, it seemed to already be imprinted in my head. I'm guessing it'll be the same for flight" I flared my wings, giving them a few test flaps. I looked up, spotting a cloud above me. In what felt like one quick motion, I was in the air and resting atop a cloud, incredibly it felt like I'd always had wings, it was really weird. Silverwind landed next to me shortly after

Silverwind gave a low whistle "well, there's the answer to that. You're quite fast. Anyways, follow me. I want some cider in me" Silverwind flared her leathery wings, taking off down the night lit market place with me hot on her tail

The flight to the 'bar' didn't take all that long, turns out flight wasn't even half as bad as I thought it'd be. Weirdly, my phobia of heights seemed to disappear when under my own airborne locomotion. We touched down just outside the tavern, Silverwind just ahead. Upon entering, my nostrils were instantly hit with the all too familiar smell of alcohol. The atmosphere inside was what you'd expect. There were ponies talking to one another, laughing and dancing with tankards in hoof. The tavern's layout was rather simple; the bar was to our right, resting against the far wall with various posters and bar paraphernalia. Bottles of various alcoholic beverages lined the shelves behind the bar stallion whilst he was idly wiping a glass with a rag. Off to our left was a stage with what looked like DJ equipment, minus the DJ. Seat cubicles lined the walls, and there was a single pool table directly in the middle of the tavern. How ponies play pool, I'll never fathom.

Silverwind got my attention "come on, drinks are on you" she expressed rather matter of factly, getting behind me and pushing me to the bar

The bar stallion saw us coming, raising a brow at the two Thestrals in his bar but saying nothing about it "so, what can I get you two?" the large earth pony had a southern accent, similar to that of Applejack

I tapped my chin, looking over what he had when something in particular caught my eye "I'll have the hard cider, please"

The bar stallion nodded, turning to Silverwind "and what about you missy?"

Silverwind replied in kind, moments later we both had our drinks in hoof and had retired to a secluded table. We sat in silence for a moment, I decided to break the ice "So, what's the lunar guard like? If I'm gonna be one of them, I wanna know"

Silverwind looked to me "it's pretty much standard guard stuff, except the fact that we deal with the covert side of things. We operate during the night, patrolling Canterlot and the smaller settlements. I can't really go into too much detail until you're actually a part of the guard itself"

I nodded in understanding, finishing off my first tankard and beckoning the barmaid over to request a refill, Silverwind following close behind

"So, what's it like being...You know, what ever it is you are?" Silver asked

I laughed a hearty laugh "The term is human, and it's good... I guess? I take it you want to know more about humans in general eh?" she nodded "well, to put it simply. Humans are omnivorous, violent, magic-less territorial assholes. We love bacon, technology and war. We're not all like that, but it's impossible to pin humanity with just a couple words" Silverwind nodded in understanding "so what about the Thestrals?"

Silverwind lit up "you're.... Actually interested?" she cocked her head

"Of course I am, let me guess... Ponies don't want anything to do with you?"

She sighed "Pretty much, but to answer your question we're not unlike normal ponies, though we do have our differences. Such as our improved eyesight, we can see for miles in the dark. We have much better hearing too" she flapped her ears in a cute way 'wait... Cute? Fuck, this cider must be stronger than it looks' I shook my head, giving my attention back to Silverwind "we're optimised for the night. Lighter on our hooves, stronger wings, better senses. The perfect infiltrators" she finished with a smug smirk "Oh, and no as you put it 'tramp stamps'. Pretty awesome, huh?"

I shook my head in a good nature "you're telling me, I haven't been in this form for 20 minutes, and I'm already loving it. Much better than a normal pony" I raised my now empty tankard "Hey barkeep, keep 'em comin' for me and my friend here!"

The barkeep nodded, giving me a mock salute "Yes sir!"

The night went on like this for a good hour or so, me and Silver drinking away. It had started with a simple drinking game, then soon descended into an all out free for all of seeing how much booze your could throw down your muzzle the quickest. Needless to say, we were both pretty hammered. I got pretty cheery in my drunken stupor, and urges started to settle in. So, I did the first thing that came to me; drunk singing!

I looked to Silverwind, she seemed to be giggling about something "w-what's so fu*hic!* funny?"

Silverwind's giggling evolved into outright laughter "You want to sing, do*hic!* don't you? I can see it in your *hic!* eyes"

I nodded, staggering up onto the table and lowering my head in contemplation, thinking of a song that would be fitting for such an occasion... I didn't know any drinking songs, and I sure as hell wasn't going to sing something in Welsh. Nobody would even understand the lyrics!

I started thinking artists, albums and groups in general. I then had it, the song I was going to grace my audience with. I concentrated on warping my vocal chords, changing the pitch and depth of my voice. I gave a quick 'ahhhh' to test, perfect. I turned back to Silverwind, giving my best gentleman smile, I managed so compose myself and not slur any words

"This song is dedicated to you, Ms. Silverwind, it is called 'Children of the Night'" I sounded just like David Coverdale, a Welsh David Coverdale.. It was damn glorious.

Silverwind's ears perked up, and a mischievous smirk adorned her face "well, let's hear it already!" she shouted, getting the attention of the entire tavern. In seconds, all eyes were upon me

I looked around the tavern, searching for something important, something imperative... Aha! There it was, already in the hooves of a pony on the stage. An electric guitar. The pony nodded to me and started to play. To my utter bewildermind, it was the exact song I was going to sing. Magic is fucking awesome at times, it seems. Admittedly it sounded odd without a drummer, but you can't have everything

I took one last moment to compose myself, then started to sing

I'm getting ready

I'm in the mood to fool around

It's time for action

Now the boys are back in town

Jumping off the table, I started strutting towards the stage

So turn up the muuuuusic,

Make it loud and proud

Let's see reaction

Let the spotlight hit the crowd

I leapt at the stage, grabbing a mic and turning the face the growing crowd

Don't hide what you feel inside,

Don't let anybody stand in your way,

Just let the music take you higher

Now are you ready to rock,

Children of the night

Are you ready to roll,

Children of the night

I could feel the atmosphere of the room, ponies were smiling madly, dancing and bobbing their heads. I looked to Silverwind just in time for her to down her next drink, she looked over to me and flared her wings, launching a few feet in the air and joining me on stage. I let her take the next bit

You got the power,

I feel your fire in my soul

You got the fever,

'Cos you were born to rock an' roll

Don't run for cover,

I'm gonna show you what I've learned

Just come a little closer,

Come on an' get your fingers burned

Don't hide what you feel inside,

Don't let anybody stand in your way,

Just let the music take you higher.

Now are you ready to rock,

Are you ready to roll,

Are you ready to rock...

Silverwind belted out the notes. Her singing voice was spectacular. Almost like a siren song, it was so soft, yet carried just the right amount of power behind it. At this point, the tavern was thrown into utter chaos. Tables had been over turned, glasses had been smashed, ponies were atop tables jumping and dancing, there was even a brawl going on behind the bar. True pandemonium, I loved it. One the solo was finished, we both plunged into the next bit together

Now are you ready to rock,

Children of the night

Are you ready to roll,

Children of the night

I'm getting ready,

I'm in the mood to fool around

It's time for action,

'Cos now the boys are back in town

Don't hide what you feel inside,

Don't let anybody stand in your way,

Just let the music take you higher.

Now are you ready to rock,

Children of the night

Are you ready to roll,

Children of the night

Are you ready to rock,

Children of the night

Are you ready to roll,

Children of the night

Are you ready to rock,

Are you ready to roll,

Children of the night

Just let the music take you higher...

We finished the song as a duet, apparently singing in Equestria sobers you up. Quite the buzzkill, if you ask me... As the music died down I looked over the bar and winced, it didn't look good at all... Tables and windows were smashed, the pool table was on fire, there was even a mare fending off another pony acting like a dog with a stick... I was interrupted by a tap on my side, I looked to Silverwind

"Maybe we should leave, I think we've done enough" Silverwind giggled, gesturing to the door and making a 'shh' face. I nodded, and together we snuck towards the exit. Before we left, popped open a saddlebag with my teeth and grabbed out a bag of bits. I looked to Silverwind

"Hey, Silfervind, vat dov vith thay?" I spoke through a mouth full of burlap, gesturing to some writing on the front of the bag

Silverwind looked at the bag, cocking her head to the side "It says 500 bits, why?"

I thought on this for a second 'How much did we drink? How much would the damages be?' I eventually just mentally shrugged, turning to the barkeep and spitting the bag into an outstretched hoof. I got the bar stallion's attention "Hey, barkeep!"

The bar stallion looked in my direction, drying his eyes momentarily to glare at me. I threw the bag at him, making it bounce off his head and hit the floor with a *clink* "take that, ya wanker!" I then took to the air, hovering over Silverwind and grabbing her by the midsection and flying out the now vacant doorframe. I looked to the darkened sky, spotting a nearby cloud I flew up and dropped Silverwind on it, plonking myself to her side

Silverwind was laughing hysterically for a good few minutes. After she composed herself she spoke up "wh-what was that?!"

I changed my voice back to normal "that.. Was Whitesnake, and the power of rock and roll" I smirked at Silverwind "You've got a beautiful singing voice Silverwind"

Silverwind looked away bashfully "you think so? That voice thing you did pretty good too. I had fun tonight"

"yeah, I had fun too. First time since arriving here..." I hung my head

"Hey, there's nothing wrong with having fun here. Just because you might be stuck here doesn't mean you have to resign yourself to wallow" Silverwind admonished

I smiled faintly "yeah, it's nice to finally enjoy myself. The company's pretty good, too"

Silverwind snickered, poking me with a foreleg "you're not too bad yourself" she then gave me a sad smile "I know what it's like, being an outsider and an outcast. You can talk to me about it if you want. Unlike those ponies you've been stuck with, I actually understand what it is you're going through" she muttered the last sentence barely above a whisper

I looked into Silverwind's eyes dumbfounded as to what just brought that on. 'Why is she being so open..? We've only just met..'. Needless to say, I felt a little awkward. But Silverwind seemed nice enough, why not open up to her if nobody else? I shrugged mentally "sure, I think I'd like to get it off my chest" giving her a slightly awkward smile

And so we did. For the rest of the night we sat there, secluded on our single cloud with nobody but each other. I eventually got over the initial awkwardness after we shared a few of our 'darker' secrets with each other. We laughed and even shed a few tears together, truly letting our inhibitions go for a single night. I learned that Silverwind lost her parents in a blood feud when she was just a child. With nowhere else to go, she wandered from place to place. Luckily an old pony found her and sent her to an orphanage, but not just any orphanage. This one was apparently funded by the crown itself, later Luna inducted Silverwind into the night guard. She quickly ascended through the ranks to be a sergeant, apparently she was rather adept at subterfuge. We had bonded somewhat by the end of it. I had finally made what I would consider my first real friend since coming here

I felt good having confided in Silverwind, and in turn having her confide in me. Just laying here with the cool breeze of the night air brushing against us. The soft, pliable cloud beneath us providing a comfortable rest.

"You know, princess Twilight was spying on us when we were talking with princess Luna" Silverwind furrowed her brow

I raised a brow "Oh really? That doesn't surprise me at all, she looks the type who can't keep her nose out of where it doesn't belong"

"mhmm, she snuck back soon after you transformed into a Thestral. She looked pretty concerned"

I sighed "that girl is persistent..."

Silverwind looked at me in disbelief "aren't you the least bit annoyed that she spied on you?

I shrugged, nonplussed "no, as long as she doesn't bother me and try to 'help me with my problems'. If anything, it'll save me a conversation with her"

Silverwind gave a slow 'hmmm' "so do you think you'll accept Luna's offer? From what she told me, you were pretty adamant in your standing with Celestia"

"I don't know, I need some time to think it over. The pros far outweigh the cons, and I'm going to need to find myself a job eventually anyway. I'd be stupid not to accept a well payed job offered up by princess Luna no less" It was then when I just thought of something rather silly, and couldn't help but laugh

Silverwind looked to me confused "what's so funny?"

"Well, I remember back on earth when I'd look up at the stars and think 'is there anyone else out there? We can't be the only ones'. And well, turns out I'm that someone else. I'm the alien now, it's ironic. Here I am, the alien befriending a native whilst lying on a cloud. Where I come from, this would be downright absurd. I'm surprised that I even tried jumping on a cloud to begin with, I wouldn't have even known you could were it not for me spotting that Rainbow girl lazing on one"

Silverwind giggled "well at least you're not a little green stallion". We both shared a quiet laugh

I was really enjoying myself atop a cloud with the sergeant as company, but all good things must come to an end. I was going to have to get back soon, didn't want princess Sparkle to think I was planning a coup now, did I?

"I should get going, Silverwind. Twilight might think I've gone to assassinate an ambassador or something" I chuckled, getting up

Silverwind let of a childish whine "do you have to? I was enjoying our chat" she pouted slightly

"We've been lying up here for almost two hours now. Besides, she's probably already locked the door, don't want to be out on my arse for the night now, do I?" I smirked down at her

Silverwind perked up "I guess you have a point..."

I nodded, flaring my leathery wings and getting ready to take off towards the library, Silverwind stopped me "hey, Tom?"

I looked back, arching an eyebrow "yes?"

she looked to the 'floor' below, scraping a hoof through the cloud "would you like to meet up again sometime? I had fun tonight"

I shrugged, giving her a smile "sure, you know where to find me"

She perked up, giving me a smile in return and nodding "I'll see you soon, then" I reciprocated the gesture, turning towards the library and taking off down the street. God how I loved this night vision. One short flight later, and I had arrived back at the library. I knocked on the door, waiting patiently for Twilight.

The door opened revealing Twilight herself, she looked at me confused "can I help you, sir?"

I sighed internally, she saw me change apparently. May aswell play along "It's me, Twilight. You know, shapeshifting alien human Tom?"

Her eyes 'lit up' in recognition "ohhhh, come in! You don't have to knock you know. You are kinda living here for the time being, afterall" I shrugged, walking into the library with Twilight close behind

"So, Twilight.... I thought you went to bed? I thought for sure you wouldn't answer the door and I'd have to go find a cloud somewhere" I enquired, turning to face her

Twilight shrugged, waving me off "I have some research to look over. I still haven't archived the stuff I have on your abilities"

I suddenly got very disinterested "oh right, have fun with that" I changed into my normal self "Twilight, could I use your shower, please?"

"Sure, you know where it is" Twilight gestured up the stairs, seating herself at a desk

I nodded, proceeding up the stairs and to the bathroom. Walking into the bathroom I closed the door behind me, stripping off my clothes and throwing them to the side. I pulled back the shower curtain, stepping in and playing with the knobs, getting the temperature just right. I stood under the spray of warm water, letting out a content sigh and getting to scrubbing myself of the filth that had accumulated over the past week. I had really let myself go to shit, hygiene wise. I intended to fix that!

There was a knock at the bathroom door not 5 minutes later, Twilight's voice penetrating the walls "Tom? Do you want me to get those clothes of yours washed?"

I raised a brow 'why does Twilight want to wash my clothes...?' I shouted back "why do you want to wash my clothes?"

Twilight's reply was short, and rather rude if I do say so myself "they reek" 'well, I never!'

I huffed, pulling the shower curtain closed "Fine, fine. Step into my office!" I heard the door open, followed by the clipping and the clopping of itty bitty hoofsies

Twilight's voice graced my ears once more "Where are they, I can't see anything with all this steam!"

"Under the sink, make sure to take my stuff out of my pockets, cold wash them and for the love pete if you see any little cylindrical things with a brass head, DON'T MESS WITH THEM! They're deadly if you don't know how to handle them"

I heard Twilight 'oooooooooh' in delight "I'm serious, Twilight! They're called shotgun shells. Shotgun shells explode, sending tonnes of little ball bearings flying at stupid speeds. They have NO issue penetrating skin and bone. They. Are. Lethal"

Twilight squeeked, flinching back "why would you even have something like that?!"

"Too long a story, won't bother saying. As long as you don't go poking the primer with something sharp or put them near an open flame, you'll be fine" I heard her sigh in what I assumed was relief

"Okay, I'll be careful. I'll leave you to it now bye!" Twilight stammered, rushing to get out of the bathroom as quickly as possible. Unfortunately wet floors and hooves don't mix. Twilight lost traction, spinning and sliding from the wet floor "Whooaaaa" evidently, she reached out for the closest thing to steady herself, that just so happened to be the shower curtain

The shower curtain was torn from the little plastic clips, falling into the shower and revealing a very naked human. Twilight fell half way into the shower with her forehooves dangling over the side, face perfectly level with a certain.... Accessory. What made things worse? I had a shower boner. Twilight went wide eyed, stammering and stuttering

I growled, facepalming "ceffyl gwirion" growling angrily, I pushed Twilight's face out of my crotch's proximity "just go" I gestured towards the door, exasperated

Twilight averted her eyes, her face redder than a tomato. She tried to cough out a reply, but I cut her off "not another word, just leave before things get even more awkward" her face fell, and she slowly made her way out the door picking up my clothes on the way out in her magic. Closing the door behind her

I glared at the closed door for a few moments, fuming in embarrassment. Huffing in annoyance, I turned my attention back to the shower, intent on finishing up and forgetting about this whole fiasco

After finishing in the shower, I had changed into my Thestral form. Drying myself off and trotting to the living room, I saw Twilight furiously scrawling on a parchment "Hey Twilight, what you working on now? I thought you said you were archiving?"

Twilight started, letting out a quiet screech "O-oh, T-tom! Hi there, oh you mean this? It's nothing, nothing at all!" giving me a nervous laugh, she was pushing the parchment under a blank page apparently trying to hide something from me

I raised a brow "is that what I think it is?"

Twilight blushed "n-no! Of course it isn't a diagram of the human male anatomy! Why would you even suggest such a thing?"

'I... What? I didn't even mention..... Oh you know what? I am so done...' I sighed, throwing my forehooves in the air "you know what? I'm done, good night Twilight. Don't wake me tomorrow morning, I'm starting a nocturnal sleep schedule" without another word, I jumped onto her couch and forced myself to sleep, mentally scrubbing my brain of the sheer nope

.

.

Outside on a secluded rooftop sat a dark blue figure, grinning madly to itself 'Hmm, that was easier than I thought... Cadance owes me 50 bits' the figure thought to itself, mad grin escalating to laughter. The figure then disappeared in a flash, leaving without a trace

~~# Meanwhile, in the Crystal Empire! #~~

Luna appeared in the crystal throne room, accompanied by a blinding flash. Cadance covered here eyes to protect herself against the intense light. Once the light faded, she saw her aunty Luna had returned

Princess Cadance cocked a brow "auntie, back so--" Luna however, cut her off

"AHA! The setting of the sail has been achieved!" Luna proclaimed, reverting to ye olde speak in her excitement. Throwing her hooves up "you oweth me 50 bits, dear Candenza!"

Cadance facehoofed "auntie, it's 'shipped', not 'setting of the sail'..."

"That too!" shouted the princess of the night "I bore witness with mine own two eyes. Two nocturnal beings brought together by myself shared a warm embrace under the moonlight!" Payeth up!" Luna shoved a forehoof forward, making a 'come at me bro' gesture

".....So, they hugged?" Cadance questioned

"Indeed! Is that not clear?!" Luna proclaimed

Cadance facehoofed, again "urgh, auntie.... Ponies hug all the time. It doesn't mean that they've fallen in love" she rolled her eyes

Luna's eyes went wide "I shall return!" and in a second blinding flash, she was gone once more