The Ultimate Cliché

by Digital Jester

Correlation

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Chapter 8

Jake, Octavia, Tyler, and Vinyl, after the long walk, finally made it to Sugarcube Corner. They were so hungry, in fact, that Vinyl had resorted to dragging her limp body the last half block. The other three carrying themselves with a bit more dignity.

"I think I'm going to starve." Vinyl moaned. "Oh Celestia, is this what it feels like to starve?!" Vinyl said rubbing her stomach in an attempt to stop its constant growling.

"Vinyl, you're not going to starve!" Said Octavia, she turned to look at Jake and Tyler. "I'm sorry, I swear she does this every time we go out to eat." Tyler shrugged, seemingly amused by the randomness of the bleach white DJ.

"It's alright, besides, I could use a good laugh every now and again." Tyler said, smiling warmly down at the, supposedly dying, DJ, who was still flopping on the floor like a fish out of water.

"Octy! I'm not gonna make it... tell my family... they're not in my will..." Vinyl groaned, standing up on her hind legs and then swooning backwards, then collapsing to the floor. She lay there for a moment, Octavia impatiently tapping her back hoof. Before Jake became tempted to poke Vinyl with a stick to see if she truly was dead, Vinyl jumped up. "And... Scene!" Vinyl Bowed her head low enough so her horn scraped the ground, when no applause came, the DJ, pouted and readjusted her glasses while muttering something about her friends being no fun.

Once the four friends came to find their seats, Jake noticed a familiar pink blur, once again, flying straight at him.

"Oh my god! Brace for impact!" shouted Jake, trying to flip the table to use as cover, which unfortunately for him, was bolted to the floor. So instead Jake hide behind the pole holding the table to the floor, a feat that could only be achieved by Pinkie Pie herself.

Seeing the commotion underneath the round table, Pinkie, with her unlimited amount of curiosity, ran to investigate. Unfortunately she was to fast for her own good and ended up colliding with Jake. Sending them both flying across the store.

"Jake!" Pinkie Pie shouted at the black Pegasus. "Twilight's been looking all over for you!" she was nose to nose with him, her hair tickling his snout enough to cause him to sneeze directly into her face. Pinkie Pie reeled back, having a worried look plastered upon her face, as well as some snot. "Oh my goodness Jake! We've left you alone for to long! you've got the feather flu!" Pinkie Pie began to hyperventilate, reaching behind herself and grabbing a thermometer, as well as a hospital bed, I.V., and a heart monitor. Jake rolled his eyes, then spit out the thermometer.

"Pinkie Pie, I don't have a- wait a feather flu?" Jake questioned.

"Yeah! Thunderlane got it a while  ago! He had to go to the hospital."

"... This is ridiculous." Jake said preparing to get out of bed. But Pinkie held him down.

"Jake no! You need to rest, who knows what could happen to you!"

"Probably an actual doctor" Jake muttered under his breath, he sighed, turning to his friends. "Guys a little help here?" Jake let out a frustrated groan, as the three were laughing at him, particularly heartily. "Can I at least eat something?! Vinyl, you weren't the only one practically dying on the way here." she looked at her bagel, which was just recently served to them. She pouted briefly, before then reluctantly ripping it in half and giving it to the black Pegasus. Luckily the bagel was slightly sturdier than a sandwich, so holding it in his hooves was pretty easy. He thanked her and devoured the bagel.

"Man, I really wish I still had fingers, how do you guys do hold your food so well?" Tyler asked, his muzzle buried into an omelet.

"Yeah..." Jake agreed seemingly deep in thought. "...Hey, speaking of wishes, what was my wish?"

"What do you mean, wishes?" Pinkie questioned, now sitting at the chair that used to be Jake's.

"Well-" Jake was suddenly interrupted, by Twilight Sparkle, who was now using a spell to vocalize her thoughts, in a rather loud manner.

"JAKE! WHERE IN EQUESTRIA HAVE YOU BEEN?!" Twilight words made Jake's ears fold back in pure terror of what was to happen next. She was carrying three objects, they didn't look like they could kill him, but what looked like his old pair of jeans would have been perfect for strangling him. Luckily for the panicking Pegasus, the bed he was lying on was not bolted to the floor, so it made for great cover.

"Twilight! My, what a surprise to see you! If you're wondering why I've been gone for a day it's because I met my friend that I was looking for!" Twilight's purple aura of magic began to rap itself around the makeshift cover, prepared to rip it away from Jake. "Please don't kill me" Jake whimpered.

"You were looking for a friend?" Twilight gritted though her teeth, her grip on the bed slackened. She looked to her left, noticing an equally terrified blue unicorn. Twilight soon realized she was making a scene as blood started to rush to her cheeks. "Oh goodness, Jake I'm so sorry, I was just so worried that you got hurt, or lost! You must be Jake's friend, right? And your name is...?"

"Tyler, I'm assuming that Jake told you what we were?"

"Isn't it obvious? You're ponies." Tyler Facehoofed, which was much more painful than expected.

"I'll take that as a no..."


After filling Twilight in on the details over breakfast, she was very excited.

"Oh! This is so great, a new species has been discovered! You have to tell me about your culture!"

"Well Twilight, I don't want to burst your bubble or anything, but I've got more important things to do. Do you know where Fluttershy is?" Jake asked his wings aching to be used.

"Still trying to learn how to fly?" Twilight questioned.

"Hey I can at least glide! Sorta..." Jake sighed flaring out his wings ready to take off, or attempt to that is. Twilight giggled.

"She's in her cottage, I can bring her there if you want." Twilight added. Vinyl raised her hoof, as if she was in school.

"Well Twilight, don't you want to ask Tyler some questions or something? Besides I know the way there, I could take him!" she smiled widely at her idea.

"I suppose that could work. Okay but I want him home by eight." Octavia said, still drinking her tea.

"Jeez, what am I your pet?" Jake ask accusingly to the cellist.

"Oh bite me." Octavia glanced to her side, seeing Jake mockingly act like a rabid dog.

"I would, if I was a pet, you're lucky I'm not though." Jake rang out as he turned to follow Vinyl, before sticking his tongue out at Octavia.

"He's a real mature one isn't he?" Tyler said, a light smile on his face.

"Yes he has about as much discipline as the animal he was imitating." Octavia agreed.

"Oh, trust me, he wasn't imitating anything." Tyler said, jokingly, they shared a small chuckle before continuing there meal, along with Twilight, who had pulled out a quill, parchment, and was ready to write.


"So what do you think about Ponyville so far?" Vinyl asked, enjoying his company, as they walked along a trail leading out of town.

"Hm, I don't know, I've always kind of liked the hustle and bustle of a big city. new people to meet every single day. also the clubs in some of those places are awesome!"

"You're a clubber?" Vinyl asked raising her shades in surprise.

"I suppose you could call me that. but I mainly come for the music, some of the DJ's I've seen where amazing. I really appreciate a good DJ." Jake glanced over to see Vinyl's eyes, a crimson red. "Heh, I don't suppose they have pot in Equestria, because damn your eyes are blood shot!"

"Oh that's just my eyes color..." Vinyl said, quickly adjusting her shades so no part of her eyes where showing. The only thing showing was a light blush on the mare's cheeks.

"You ponies sure do blush easily. I mean seriously, you make one sex joke, and next thing ya know everybody's faces are as red as your eyes." Jake finished looking at Vinyl who now blushing a darker pink and was using her magic to push her glasses as hard as she could against her face.

"Can we not talk about my eyes?"

"Why I don't see anything wrong with them, then again, I can't exactly see them." Jake quickly added before knocking the glasses off her head with his wing, before sliding down them down to the base of his wing. "Hey! I'm getting good at this! By the way I was totally right about your eyes, totally nothin' wrong with 'em."

"Give those back! I wear them for a reason!" Vinyl began to reach for her purple shades, until Jake sidestepped out of reach

"Care to explain?"

"No, actually!" she tried to use magic, but the black Pegasus folded his wings back, so the glasses where trapped between his ribs and his wing.

"Sorry Scratch, but until I start gettin' answers, you ain't gettin' shit!" Jake flicked his wing out so the glasses slid back up his wing hanging just over vinyl's head.

"Ya see, this is why I wear shades, so this kind of thing doesn't happen," she looked down glumly at the floor. Giving up her fight for the glasses.

"Now hold on a minute, as far I'm concerned you've got some Kick-ass eyes!" he let the glasses slip from his wing onto her head. Resting on her horn.

"Uh, thanks." The DJ began to readjust the glasses back to her eyes, but Jake stopped her.

"I gave those back to you in case of an emergency, besides the second I see someone making fun of you, their teeth will be knocked out by yours truly!" He took a heroic stance, but then put a wing around the Unicorn, causing her to tense up. "So keep your glasses were I like to see them. On top your noggin" Jake gave Vinyl a noogie, making her mane no messier than it already was.

"Alright I guess I can try..." Vinyl set the glasses back on her head, rested on her horn surprising well.

"Awesome!" after a few moments of silence, Vinyl decided it was a good idea to strike up a conversation.

"So you said you like music?" The black Pegasus smiled widely at her question.

"Hell yeah!" She smiled back, then pulled off her glasses and floated out an Mp3 player.

"Wait, how did you do that!"

"Well Twilight enchanted my glasses to hold a pocket dimension, It's like a pocket, but it can hold than it's own surface area."

"My brain would have accepted you saying something along the lines of, magic!" Complained Jake, rubbing his temples.

"Here, try out some of the pony music that the new music producers have been letting out." Vinyl handed the Mp3 player to Jake and turned on one of her own songs.

Youtube Video

After pulling out the earbuds, Vinyl looked at him expectantly.

"So, what do you think?" Vinyl asked, hoping for some sort of praise from the black Pegasus.

"It was alright, I've always preferred straight up, head thrashing dubstep ya know?" Jake looked into her eyes, glasses no longer hiding her emotions, so the disappointment in her eyes was quite obvious. "But it was still really good!" Jake managed to get a small smile out of her. "Well do you have any other songs?" Vinyl flipped through her music before finding a particularly bass heavy song.

"I think I've got one that you'll love!"

Youtube Video

This time, when the music stopped, Jake had a wild grin on his face.

"You like?" Vinyl giggled at the almost crazed look in his eye.

"More like loved! I love those kind of songs the ones that make you feel like you have an extra bit of swagger in your step!" Jake said, rubbing his hoofs together menacingly. "By the way, who's the girl that says 'Come on!'"

"She's Sweetie Belle, a filly who's been trying to get her cutie mark for a while now. She even helped make a group for getting cutie marks."

"Hey are their any other names for a cutie mark, besides cutie mark? It sounds a bit childish." The DJ thought a moment.

"Nope."

"God dammit."

As they continued their walk they soon reached a fork in the road. "Which way?"

"Left." Answered Vinyl. As they resumed their walk, the white Unicorn became more and more curious about the magically transformed Pony standing next to her.

"So what do you think of Twilight?" Vinyl asked. Jake hesitated for a moment, before rejoining Vinyl's pace.

"She's a bit of a goodie two shoes, but she has her moments." Jake answered.

"Yeah I guess so..." Vinyl thought a moment, "Cute, isn't she?" This time instead of hesitating, Jake damn near fell flat on his face.

"W-what! No! Vinyl, fun fact my brain is wired to look at a human girl and be all like, damn! Not for a pony."

"Well as far as I can tell, you best get to re-wiring, cuz you're not gonna be seein' any sort of genie any time soon!"

"Yeah I suppose your right..." Suddenly, Vinyl bumped her hip against his, with a half lidded expression. She was a whole lot closer than she was before. "Whoa!" Jake cried out in surprise.  "Hey baby steps now, this has got to be a gradual thing, 'mkay?"

"You sure? you weren't exactly baby stepping, when I woke up to you cuddling with me."

"Yes I'm sure, and besides, I was hung over, only thing I was thinking about was headache, headache, headache."

"Kay." Vinyl stepped away, but not before she using her magic to tweak one of Jake's primary feathers. Causing his wing to flare reflexively, and the wind from sudden movement, knocking Vinyl back a few feet.

"Ow! That Hurt ya' know!"

"I know!" Vinyl replied a seemingly innocent smile grew from her face. Having not been done with her mischief, she Magically Grabbed Jake's hat and placing it on her own head. It was a bit to big for her, so it sank down over her eyes, giving her a very adorable look.

"I would try and get my hat back, but I'm just gonna wait until you trip and fall." Jake stuck his hoof at in front of her, but she managed to step over it.

"Hey! I can see just fine!" she tried to readjust the hat but it fell back down over her eyes as soon as she let go of it.

"Oh really?" Jake held up his hoof directly in front of her face. "how many fingers am I holding up?"

"Three."

"Wow, you can be a real idiot sometimes."

"Says the one who can't figure out how a magical pocket works!"

"True... hey look we're here." Jake looked at the large cottage, teeming with wildlife "Nice place."

"Ready for step two of flying?" Vinyl asked.

"Really wish I could say yes..." Jake answered, that feeling of the vertigo soon to come wash over him. He swallowed the lump in his throat. "Okay let's go."

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