Feminine Hell

Jaxy sat staring blankly. His eyes were immersed in the mesmerizing dance of sixteen drops of fire standing at the tops of sixteen thin, twisting candle sticks. He vaguely registered a commotion around him, but he didn't want to think about it. He didn't want to think about anything. All the young, wide hipped, peach coated, blond haired stallion wanted in the whole world was for their to be just a few less little drops of fire dancing before him.

"-for he's a jolly good fellow. For he's jolly good fellow. For he's a jolly good fellow!" A collective, pregnant pause. "Which nobody can deny."

A round of cheers ensued as tears trickled from Jaxy's eyes. He bit his lip as the song ended and looked around, marking the two dozen pairs of eyes trained on him, looking on with naive happiness, empathetic sadness, and most of all, expectation. Now was the moment.

Jaxy was caught off guard as an especially ugly and pungent mare with a grey coat made dirtier by black soot slugged him hard in the shoulder, crying abrasively, "Ain't ya got a wish yet? Ya'll had all day ta think one up!"

Looking at his best friend sourly as he rubbed his hurting shoulder, Jaxy countered, "You know what I would wish for, Cinders."

The mare's two ears twitched, soot noticeably flying off them with the motion. She scowled and cussed, "Then wish it fer fuck's sake. Ah want some cake!"

Turning his angry scowl back to the drops of fire, he sighed with deep resignation and stated plaintively, "It'll only come true if I don't blow them out."

The statement sucked all the mirth out of the room. Two dozen fillies and colts looked down sadly as the one stallion in their midst began to weep softly. Nopony there shed a tear with him, though they all felt intense sadness as well. As bad as they all may feel for him, everypony there was too happy not to be Jaxy right at that moment to really feel despair. They all knew too much to be sad. The pain of a sixteenth birthday party was almost nothing when compared to the day to day lives they lived. It was a tragic event, but it was less tragic than simply being alive.

Everypony sat in the silence for a brief moment, listening to the stallion's tears. Among them, Cinders almost felt enough pain to join him. Before she would dare do so however, she spit on Jaxy and shoved him, crying sharply, "Stop being such a pussy. I didn't hit you that hard." Her voice cracked as she stood up on her terrifyingly thin hind legs and pointed at the cake screaming, "Blow out the fucking candles. We all worked hard to get you this you ungrateful piece of shit. The least you could do is put them out before you get hot wax all over our food."

Jaxy looked up from the cake to the eight years old filly screaming at him. Her angular, needle-thin, twisted body stood over him with as much imposition as a pony weighing thirty five pounds could. Though the aggressive bruise she'd given him was painful, he heard the love and pain in her voice as she spoke. He couldn't help but marvel that even she refused to cry. Her anger gave him the tiniest sliver of courage, just enough for him to wipe his eyes and sniffle a few times. Gazing around the room at his friends, no, his family, he inhaled deeply and blew out the candles, extinguishing their lives so that his might begin.

Normally a cheer would have risen in congratulations, but none of the ponies there had the heart for it. Instead, they all sat in silence as Cinders took the initiative and picked up a knife, cutting the cake into pieces. "Alright ya dirty, good-for-nothing shits, come and get it before I eat it all myself."

Knowing full well that her threat was not at all empty, the ponies stood and gathered round, each taking a little slice for themselves. Most of them sauntered off to their own reclusive corners to enjoy their rare treat in peace. Some stayed together in little groups and joked and laughed with each other. Most of the humor was at Jaxy's expense, but it had been a long time since he'd cared one bit about what other ponies thought about him or his long, wavy, blond hair. Only Cinders remained beside him, she being the only one who refused to care what her best friend looked like and having the courage to stay with him in his final moments in their presence.

Placing a slice of vanilla cake with thick cream frosting on top in front of Jaxy, Cinders regarded his flank and poked at it, stating lightheartedly, "Yer wish didn't come true. Yer ass is as bare as ever."

Looking down at her crossly, Jaxy grunted, "You know that's not what I wished for."

"I know. I know." She lounged against him, mucking up his otherwise clean peach coat with soot as she took a large bite out of her cake and moaned, "Mmmmmm. Fuck me! I wish ya could stay just so we could throw another party fer ya ta leave. Ah could get used to this."

Taking a nibble out of his own slice, he whispered, "Don't eat it all now. You know you'll get sick."

"I'm always sick," She countered, taking another big bite. "Besides, if I don't eat it than one of these other fuckers'll just find it and eat it themselves." Cinders fell silent for a long moment staring at her treat before she asked softly, "When are ya leaving then?"

Snorting, Jaxy answered, "Piss Stain's giving me until tomorrow morning. This'll be my last night sleeping here."

Giving a sad sigh, Cinders showed genuine regret as she returned, "I know. It's going to be cold in bed without you. Nopony else will cuddle me."

"Well," he said with a frown, "maybe if you didn't hit them or cuss them out or took a bath once in a while, they wouldn't mind cuddling you."

Cinders shoved the last of her cake in her mouth and chewed noisily before burping and saying, "Ain't nopony gonna change me now. What's the point? Ya'll know I don't got long. Ain't like I got a prince what's gonna come and rescue me. Fuck, Ah feel it already. Ah won't make it through winter. Mah insides hurt too much. And 'thout ya'll keepin me warm, Ah don't stand a chance."

A few moments before, Jaxy'd only felt sorry for himself. Her words made him feel sick for ever giving himself any thought. He twisted in his seat and hugged Cinders tightly to his chest. He nuzzled his nose in her ratty mane and whispered, "You could always come with me."

With firm conviction, she told him, "Ah'd rather die of a cold sleep than hunger. Dyin in the cold sounds all peaceful like. Ah hear ya don't even feel anything by the end. It just numbs ya and makes ya all indifferent. That's how Ah wanna die. Ah'll miss ya, but Ah'm not goin anywhere."

Jaxy sighed and brought a hoof down her chest and belly until it stopped over her two undeveloped teats. He gently pressed down, immediately feeling a rock hard bulge pressing outward from her abdomen. Cinders rested her own hoof over his passively as he stated, "It's getting bigger."

"I know," she whispered back with no apparent concern.

Concerned, he whispered, "Does it hurt any worse?"

"It always hurts." She removed her hoof from his. "But Ah keep gettin better at ignorin it. Don't ya fret over me when yer gone. Ah'm nopony worth frettin over."

Jaxy cringed. "You're somepony important to me."

Waving a hoof dismissively, she responded, "Ah, ya'll'll get over me. Though, since it's yer last night here, Ah did have a favor Ah wanted ta ask ya."

Still holding her close, he whispered seriously, "Anything."

Cinders opened her mouth to speak, but closed it again without saying a word, seeming unable to say what she wished to say. Jaxy waited patiently for a moment before prompting her, "Well? What is it?"

The filly turned around and faced him, locking her grey eyes on his own emerald green ones. She spoke directly, "Ah know this ain't anything ya'll've ever thought about doin with me, but do ya think ya'll could rutt me once 'fore ya go?"

Jaxy's mouth gaped open in horror at her request. He gasped and scolded, "I could never! You're not old enough. You've not even been in heat before. Why would you want me to do that?"

Scowling severely, she answered, "Ah know Ah ain't old enough. Ah don't give a fuck. Ah'll be dead 'fore Ah'm ever ready. Yer the only pony Ah trust, and Ah don't want to get thrown in the ground without tryin it at least once. Who knows, maybe Ah'll like it. Maybe Ah won't feel like such shit for a while. Maybe, fer once in my crumby life, Ah'll be a little happy, and ya'll can be too."

Jaxy hugged her close and squeezed his eyes shut, even more tears streaming out of them. He had to control his breathing as he stated, "All I would do is hurt you, Cinders. I don't want our last night together to be me hurting you. I just want to hold you close and sleep with you one last time. Okay? Please?"

The filly sighed and said, "Ah won't turn you away. But ya'll know what Ah want. Ah hope ya'll will at least consider it. What do either of us got to lose?"

With a heavy, depressed sigh, Jaxy told her, "I don't even know anymore, Cinders. I don't even know."

"Are ya finished with yer cake?"

Jaxy picked up the pastry and gave it to her, saying, "You can have it. I'm not very hungry."

"Are ya sure?" Before he gave her an answer though, she was already greedily devouring it. Once she finished the treat, Cinders sat in his lap and asked, "Can we go to bed?"

Jaxy nodded, lifting her onto his back and heading to their room.