Weasel Stomping Day

o Starting uh story wif uh quote will make yo' story peep professional not matter how absurd it iz or how unrelated it iz ta da story. -Supreme Dictator Pleaseworkforonce

Fluttershy quickly glided through da air internally she squealed wif glee as she watched da cute furry faces emerge from they winter holes. this day wuz her her favorite day o' da year, this day wuz da day all da adorable little weasels woke up from they winter hibernation. uh small smile escaped her face as da ground began ta shake, but wuz quickly replaced wif uh full blown grin when she seen Rainbowdash da two pegasus glided around each other in uh circle 'bfoe dey landed amongst da army o' emerging weasels.

Rainbowdash greeted her nigga, but when Fluttershy began ta respond she wuz interrupted when uh stage burst into existence in da middle o' da field, unknowingly ending da lives o' many fortunate weasels. Fluttershy squeaked hiding behind da rainbow maned pegasus. uh unicorn mare teleported ta da center o' da stage 'bfoe da magically amplifying her voice “da GREAT an' POWER TRIXIE HAS GRACED YOU WIf HER GREAT an' POWERFUL PRESENCE BY ONCE ag'in HOSTING CANTERLOTS ANNUA--”

“git on wif it!” uh yellow stallion yelled interrupting da boastful mare. It wuz at dis here moment one o' da weasels emerged from da ground an' quickly climbed up Fluttershy’s leg an' into her mane. Rainbow only flashed uh tomboyish grin at da site o' Fluttershy nuzzling da weasel. da stallion voicing his impatience disappeared in flash o' light silencing anypony who had considered agreeing wif him.” Ahem, as da GREAT an' POWERFUL TRIXIE wuz SAYin`, LET da ANNUAL WEASEL SLAUGHTER BEGIN!” Rainbowdash flashed uh predatory grin at da weasel in Fluttershy’s mane 'bfoe flashing forward an' ripping it from her niggas mane. Fluttershy could only watch in horror as her nigga began ta shake her head like uh rabid dog, snapping da rodents neck. Fluttershy stuttered as she tried ta comprehend what had just happened, but Rainbow launched herself into da air an' dive bombed another rodent splattering its blood throughout her mane. “nahh,nahh. Why iz dis here happening? What iz going on?” Fluttershy mumbled ta herself as she watched everypony suddenly erupt into unorganized violence, savagely killing da da weasels.

She searched throughout da crowd until she spotted Pinkie Pie an' thought surely she would not act so barbar-- , but dis here train o' thought wuz quickly squashed as she watched her nigga fire uh dozen, correction, uh baker’s dozen o' weasels from her party cannon. da weasels wuz disturbingly spread out in uh similar fashion ta one o' her actual parties. Fluttershy swallowed da bile forming at da back o' her throat 'bfoe she began ta run through da crowd. When Fluttershy heard uh resounding cheer she could not stop herself from looking. Surrounded by uh crowd o' cheering ponies Rarity wuz turning da rodents into swiss cheese wif uh sewing needle.

WHAT iz WRONG WIf EVERYPONY! Fluttershy screamed inside as she watched da ponies degrade further into dis here barbaric display. da pegasus flew up into da air hoping ta find somepony who could explain what wuz going on. Frantically she threw her head back an' forf looking some beacon o' explanation amidst da throngs o' ponies an' weasel bits. Finally she spotted Twilight sitting on stage wif her nose buried inside uh book titled “Equestria’s annual festivals”.

Hoping dat at least one o' her niggas wuz semi-rational she began ta fly towards da purple alicorn. Fluttershy ceased her flight as she heard uh familiar voice “Eeyah! Round em up Wiona!” Surely not, not her. Applejack swung her lasso snatching uh whole family o' weasels. da earf pony pulled da captured family towards her 'bfoe she turned ta uh yellow filly sitting next ta her. “It’s tyme fo' you ta become uh mar Applebloom.” Fluttershy watched in horror as da filly nodded an' picked up wrench an' began ta walk ta towards da rodents. nahh surely Applejack wouldn’t let her. da pegasus cringed as she watched da filly further butcher dis here once sacred day. Her flight wuz nearly cut short as uh bloody mass o' weasels flew threw da air crashing into her. Fluttershy spiraled out o' control fo' several seconds as bits o' rodent stuck into her wings. uh glare o' deaf wuz smok'd at da group o' unicorns dat wuz launching large balls o' dead rodents. Renewed determination drove da pegasus ta soar through da last hundred yards separating her an' Twilight. Fluttershy slammed onto da stage letting her momentum slide her da rest o' da way towards Twilight”

WHAT iz GOING ON!” Fluttershy screamed, several strands o' fro popping out o' place. Glancing up Twilight says “awww” she licked her lips as if wiping uh nasty taste off o' her mouf 'bfoe sayin` “Trixie decided ta spice up da holiday when she started hosting uh couple o' years ago” 'bfoe blowing off da pegasus an' going back ta her book. Huh apparently wear pink boots... Fluttershy slowly walked ta da center o' da stage an' promptly shoved da blue unicorn off as it fired uh blast towards one o' da weasels. Taking da rage dat she felt ,which wuz surprisingly similar ta da one at da grand galloping galla, an' screamed “STOP! da entire crowd stopped at da shout o' da enraged mare. Fluttershy began ta feel her resolve begin ta weaken, but da sight o' Applebloom an' her gore covered wrench wuz enough ta spur her on.

“ HOW DARE YOU DISGRACE dis here DAY WIf deez BARBARIC ACTIVITIES!” Weasels began ta gather around da yellow pegasus, seeing her as uh source o' safety. Now maybe dey had uh chance ta survive dis here awful day, maybe dey could spread once ag'in. da weasel sprinted underneaf several hooves an' latched itself ta da yellow pegasus. yeea , she would be his salvation Fluttershy grinned as she felt one o' da weasels run against her foreleg. She raised her leg 'bfoe shouting “ this day iz WEASEL, STOMPING, DAY!” her hoof slams down spraying da weasels gore everywhere slap mah fro!